missing sleep for the last 24 hours or so

#34-Kylo Ren

“This is different”

Warning: None


Note: I wrote this after not sleeping for over 24 hours and spending the day at Comic con so it sucks and if I missed something or if there’s any mistakes forgive me, I forgot that I still had it in my drafts so I’m posting it. A short lil pregnant reader being worrisome and hux being the usual dickwad he is ayyayayya

Taking one last step, you looked behind Kylo at his shuttle, the tips of the wings pointing towards the sky. He turned to face you, your hand locked with his. Everything became real, that he was leaving, and your heart dropped. 

“I love you.” He said, his voice thick, tinted with emotion. However, you just shook your head and batted your eyes up at him, your husband’s hair falling in front of his face, whipping in the wind. Then, furrowing your eyebrows, you knotted your fingers into the fabric of his top, tugging softly. He looked down at you with a gentle expression, leaning down, brushing his thumb over your jawline and pointing your face towards his, holding it with his large hand. He didn’t say anything.

He already knew what you were thinking. 

“I thought I told you not to do that…” You protested his advances into your head, using the force to retract your thoughts. 

“The key word there,” Kylo remarked, cocking an eyebrow. You couldn’t help the slight chuckle that formed on your lips, but it soon diminished the more you thought about what would happen if he didn’t come back. His missions always involved danger, fleets of stormtroopers following his shuttle wherever he went. Battles commencing, negotiations going wrong. The Knights of Ren taking through with massacres. You hated the thought of losing him, especially when your family was growing. 

“I’m being serious.”

“Look at me.” Kylo’s words dripped from his tongue like dark chocolate, the heaviness in his tone making you sense that there was more that he was letting on to, however, you didn’t hint at it but allowed your eyes to lock with his. “I’m not going to make you say it.”

“What, goodbye?” You found yourself on the brink of crying, tears prickling in your eyes as your bottom lip quivered. When you pushed out the last of your sentence, your words stuttered and jumbled over each other in a fit of anger, and in fear, but Kylo just shook his head and clenched his jaw. Rubbing you softly on the arms then pulling you into a tight hug. Breathing in the sweet smell of your perfume, or that of your shampoo. 

“I have to do this… You know that.” Kylo sighed, heading towards the front of the room but keeping his hand on you. Knowing that you were rash, incompetent to even the strongest of Hux’s orders, you wiped away the tears that had escaped, moving them back to the front of the room. 

“Yeah… Yeah, I know the spiel. But why.” You grazed your fingers over your belly, feeling the hint of a surfacing bulge, showing the baby’s growth. You tried to calm your worry, about Kylo leaving. Being gone for weeks, a month at a time. Kylo turned around, shaking his head, and kneeling in front of you. Pressing his ear just below your breasts, you buried your fingers into his thick black hair, closing your eyes. Your heart beat quick at his presence. “I don’t want-”

“I’m going to be here… You’re not even through your first term. Baby, you’ve got to stop worrying.”

“What if you don’t make it? What if something happens?” Urging the truth, you hated it how Kylo didn’t even take the time to acknowledge it, passing it over his head like just another fact, like the fact that Hux knew you were pregnant, but he still elected Kylo to take the Knights and go to one of the most feral planets in the outer rim. 

“This is different.” Kylo’s voice abruptly became stern, forcing you back a step, with your mouth slightly agape. It took you a second to clench your jaw, glancing down at your feet as he immediately softened, reaching towards you, wrapping his arm around your waist and bringing his other hand to graze your cheek. You leaned into his touch, wishing that the shuttle wouldn’t open the doors, that you wouldn’t be forced to watch him move up those ramps. “Everything is going to be fine, no fighting.”

“You say that every time you go on a mission!” Exclaiming, you rubbed your face, keeping your eyes closed but your ears keen. 

Hoping that it would change your perspective on him, Ben pushed the memories of him looking at you for the first few times into your consciousness, how he had reached down to you during a training session and helped you out of the pit when you were struggling, the shock wave that moved through his body at their touch so powerful that just thinking about it made a wave of goosebumps pass over him. “Just remember the first time we met.” 

“I want to remember you when you hold our daughter for the first time. So come. Back.” Your voice wavered, something you hated that happened when you couldn’t control yourself. Especially after finding out that you were pregnant, it seemed that everything struck you to the heart, making it hard for you to work for the Order, and hard for Hux to stand either one of you. Kylo would constantly check in with you and make sure you were okay, not allowing you to do anything he felt may tire you or stress you. Most of the time, you had to go take naps in your guys’ room, and sometimes Kylo would join you. He loved how much you were growing, the bulge in your belly showing through your shirt in the last week.

Kylo bit his lip and then nodded. Holding your face in his hands as he bent down and kissed you. The relief of feeling him, tasting his lips washed over you, and you felt the warmth of your tears falling down your cheeks. Kylo felt them too and kissed you harder. Wiping your wet cheeks with his hands before pulling away, the kiss lingering for a second before he turned away, heading towards the ramp into his shuttle. 

Watching him stride into the developing shadows, you breathed out. Pressing your hands against your stomach with your heartbeat racing, your chest aching and worry racing through your mind. You could hear his voice and knew that as long as you could feel his energy reaching out to you, and you could feel your child’s energy tied with his, that he would come back to you, and it would be different. 

anonymous asked:

how would severe sleep deprivation manifest? Like, if a character was continuously woken up every time they tried to sleep, or given a chemical that makes it so that they can't fall asleep?

It depends on how long they’re kept awake.

Missing a single night of sleep can result in mood swings and a marked drop in alertness. On a physical scale, you get muscle cramps, headaches, lightheadedness, and nausea.  24 hours of wakefulness can lead to cognitive impairments on par with being drunk.

After a few days, the fun really starts. You can begin to experience “microsleeps”, which are short periods of sudden sleep lasting just a few seconds at a time. During these, you can remain sitting or standing, but your awareness blinks out.

Your oxygen intake is also lessened, which limits your athletic potential and coordination.

Prolonged sleep deprivation can even cause symptoms of psychosis, hallucinations, paranoia, etc.

– August

I’m a paramedic, but nobody taught me how to sit an 86 year old gentleman down to tell him his wife of 65 years has died in her sleep. Nobody taught me how to watch as the desire for life leaves his eyes the moment I break the earth shattering news that would change his life forever.

Nobody taught me how to accept a torrent of abuse from a complete stranger, just because they have been drinking all day and want a lift home.

Nobody taught me how to reason with the aggressive patient I’ve just met; overdosed, but needing my help to breathe.

Nobody taught me how to talk to someone so depressed that they have just slit their own wrists, panicked and called for help. Nobody taught me how to respond when they turned to me and said “I can’t even get suicide right”.

Nobody taught me how to bite my tongue when I went 2 hours over my finish time for someone who’d been ‘generally unwell’ for 24 hours.

Nobody taught me how to accept that I would miss out on things other people take for granted; birthdays, Christmas day, meals at normal times of the day, sleep.

Nobody taught me how to hold hands with a dying person as they take their last breath, how to hold back the tears because it’s not my grief.

Nobody taught be how to keep a straight face whilst a young man explains exactly what happened to the end of his hoover.

Nobody taught me how to act when a patient pulls a knife on me.

Being a paramedic is so much more than swooping in and saving lives; it’s about dealing with the most unique, challenging experiences and just going home at the end of the shift, being asked ‘how was your day’ and replying ‘fine thanks’.

Being a paramedic is about constantly giving a bit of yourself to every patient, because although it’s our 5th patient of the day and we can’t remember their name it’s their first ambulance, their loved one, their experience.

It’s about the bits that nobody taught me how…

It’s about providing pain relief and reassurance to a 90 year old lady who’s fallen and hurt her hip, and despite all the pain she turns and says “Thank you, how are you?”.

It’s about a hug that you give someone on Christmas Day because they haven’t spoken to anyone for days, they have no relatives or companions but you’ve brightened up their day.

It’s about climbing in the car next to someone and saying ‘Don’t worry, we’ll have you out of here in just a moment’

It’s about everything that we do that the media doesn’t publicize,

It’s about knowing that we couldn’t attend to the dying man because we were dealing with a drunk… who then assaulted one of us.

I’m a Paramedic, But Nobody Taught Me How…

—  Julia Cornah
Request: Complain

Request: Bodyswap fic with one of the boys? Uvu

Word Count: 736

I have a Sam bodyswap fic that you can find here, too! Thanks, I hope you like it!<33

“For God’s sake, Dean, stop grabbing my boobs!”

“Sorry.” He retracts his hands quickly, “They’re just so… soft.”

“Grow your own if you want some to grope.” You snap, throwing the book to the side, “I’m sick of this.”

“Boobs help.”

Dean!” You hiss, glaring at him… well, yourself.

It wasn’t strictly supposed to go like this. In fact, it couldn’t have gone much worse. You and Dean went in, intending to get the witch killed before lunch. It was going great until you shot at her head, but she deflected it just enough that it hit her neck. Rather than killing her instantly, she had enough time to mutter some inaudible Latin. Before you could figure out what it meant, you were taller and broader and… in Dean’s body.

It was funny at first, this whole body swap thing. You were both clumsy and useless – you kept hitting your head while he couldn’t reach anything. He didn’t have a clue how to get a bra on, for a change. But at this point, you just want your body back and for crying out loud, he won’t leave your boobs alone!

“Dean!” You snap, “Focus!”

“You can’t stop me.” He grins mischievously. It’s so strange watching yourself do that, and you make a mental note never ever to pull that face.

“Honey, I’m in your body,” You flash him a shit-eating grin, “I can do whatever I want to this meatsack.”

He regards you with a mixture of fear and awe, before nodding.


He removes his hands from your chest and goes back to reading up on curses. Sam, on the other hand, is too busy laughing. You glare at him.

“Shut up.” You hiss, and he holds his hands up in mock surrender.

“Sorry. It’s just funny watching Dean throw a tantrum. I mean… his body.”

“It won’t be a tantrum he’s throwing in a minute,” You mutter, looking at the case of throwing knifes resting against a wall.

You don’t mean to be so grumpy. You just… you want your body back. You even find yourself longing for all of the little things that annoyed you in the past – that piece of hair that never lies right and the stretch marks on your skin.

Dean feels the same, though. He can’t be bothered with your body – mostly because he just doesn’t understand it. How do you keep your hands so soft when you handle as many weapons as you do, and how do you smell so nice, even when you’re constantly running around killing things. He just doesn’t get it.

It’s nearly an hour later when Sam finds something – but it’s hardly the news you were looking for.

“It says it should only last about 24 hours.” The younger Winchester explains, and you groan, before realising…

It was about this time yesterday you killed the witch.

You could get your body back any minute now!

You laugh, “Finally!” Standing up, you push the chair away from the table, stretching yours… well, Dean’s legs. Dean grins, standing up too.

“I’ll miss your body. Kinda.”

“You’ll miss my boobs.”

He pauses, before shrugging, “Pretty much. But they’re so annoying when I’m trying to sleep, it’s like…” He groans, “Hey, let’s lie – no, wait, there’s a boob in my face! And don’t get me started on that bra, I bet yours is just really hard to do.”

You listen to him complain good-naturedly – all things you’ve thought in the past. In fact, you’re in such an improved mood that you barely notice when the complaints are suddenly coming from…

“Dean!” You yell over him, rejoicing at hearing your own voice, “It’s me! It’s you!”

There’s a gasp from Dean and he grins, overjoyed to be back in his roughened but familiar body. You, on the other hand, are so happy that you fling your arms around his neck and kiss his cheek, before sauntering off down the hall yelling something about taking a shower because you feel weird. Dean, meanwhile, just stares after you, transfixed.

“Dean?” Sam asks after a solid minute of Dean staring down the now empty corridor. The elder Winchester turns to him slowly.


“Are you okay?”



“I think I’m in love.”

Preference #39 - Night Before Your Wedding

Harry: You were finally going to be Mrs. Styles in less than 24 hours and you couldn’t be happier. Well you could and that would be being wrapped up in Harry’s arms the night before you both took the plunge to commit yourselves to one another. It was 3 in the morning and all your bridesmaids had fallen asleep hours ago but you were to keyed up to sleep and had been messaging Harry for the last hour or so letting him know just how much you missed him. Eventually you suggested to him that you sneak away and see each other, tradition be damned and he hastily agreed. You made your way to the designated meet up point which was just down the road from the hotel you were staying in for the night. You could see him walking towards you and you just ran at him lunging at him and wrapping your arms around him kissing him passionately. “I missed you so much.” Harry pushed your hair out of your face. “I missed you too.” You both just stared at each other. “Harry? I just want to make sure that you’re not having any doubts. Cause if you are that-” Harry cut of your ramblings. “I love you so much (Y/N) and marrying you will be the second best day of my life with the first being the day that I meet you. Never doubt what I feel for you. I love you so much.”  You both sat for a few more hours and just as the sun started to peek out over the sky, Harry spoke up. “I think we need to head back before they wake up and find us gone.” You wrapped your arms around him and just embraced. “I think they know that we’re gone.” You let each other go and placed a searing kiss on each other then you headed back to your hotel. As you opened your hotel room there were your bridesmaids, your mother and Anne all on their phones talking frantically but as they noticed you they all hung up and rushed over to you. “We were so worried. We woke up and you were gone. We didn’t know what was happening.” You just laughed at them being silly. “I love Harry more than anything and I want to be is wife and be bound to him.” Your friends had a slight smile on their faces. “Then where were you (Y/N)?” Anne asked you. “I was with Harry.” Anne and your mother groaned. “Seeing the groom the night before the wedding is bad luck.” You rolled your eyes at their statement. “You guys are so old fashioned. I am going to go and have a bath so then we can start to get ready.” They all sighed as you went to the bathroom. You sent a quick text to Harry ’Our mums were so upset with what we did. I love you.’ I few moments late there was a reply. ’Our fathers were upset because we made our mums worry. I love you sweetheart. I will see you in a few hours.’ You sighed contently, happy that you were marrying Harry and knowing your future was going to be bright

Liam: “Can I just have it back please?” You begged your best friend Chey to give your phone back. She just held the phone up above your head out of your reach. “No! It’s the night before your wedding. You are not talking to Liam, you will see him tomorrow.” You tried everything that you could to convince her to give your phone back but she kept refusing you. Some best friend she is. “I don’t understand, the tradition states that we can’t see each other before the wedding not that we can’t talk on the phone to each other.” Chey just laughed at you. “Sweetie, I’m doing this for your own good, you need to just think about the anticipation of when you see Liam for the first time tomorrow. Him dressed up to the nines in his suit and naughty thoughts will creep into your mind of what you plan to do to him on the honeymoon. Trust me.” Chey wiggles her eyebrows. This caused you to giggle, because the honeymoon would be spectacular with you staying on a private island off Brazil. “Can I please just call him to say goodnight? Please?” At that moment your phone started ringing. “Speak of the devil.” Chey answered your phone. “Hello Liam… No she isn’t able to come to the phone right now… Because I said she isn’t, she will see you tomorrow bye bye.” Chey hung the phone up and walked into the bathroom flicking the lock. You looked around the room for a phone but there was no phone at all. You groaned out in annoyance “I don’t think getting rid of all the phones was necessary.” There was silence from the bathroom. “Chey?… Chey?” You knocked on the bathroom door. “Are you alright in there?” You could hear some shuffling around until the door opened. “Here’s your phone.” Chey handed your phone over to you. “Thank you.” You quickly hugged her and opened your phone and accessed your contacts were there as nothing. “Chey, where are my contacts?” You waved your phone at her. “You will get your contacts back at your reception. Stop stressing Liam loves you and you love him because if that wasn’t the case tomorrow wouldn’t be happening.” You sat on the couch. “You’re right, let’s just watch movies and gossip the night away and then tomorrow I will get married to the man that I am madly in love with.” Chey hugged you. “I like the sound of that.”

Louis: It’s the night before your wedding to your amazing fiancée Louis and you were very excited and couldn’t sit still. You and Louis had both decided that you weren’t to see each other the night before the wedding as tradition states. But you decided at the last minute that you and your bridesmaids need to go out and just chill before your big day. You went to the local bar just down the road to have a drink and to calm your nerves. Your friends and you were situated in a both towards the back of the bar and you were all laughing and reminiscing about all the times you had shared together over all the years when a loud group of guys walked into the bar. It takes a moment for you to realise that the guys who walked in happened to be Louis’ groomsmen. “Guys, I think Louis is here.” You pointed towards the door and they all tuned just as Louis came into view. “Just stay here, we’ll go and take care of it.” You stay put as two of the girls head over to the boys. There was a bit of a heated exchange happening between the two girls and the boys. Finally Louis made eye contact with you and started walking over to you. “What are you doing here love?” You smiled up at him. “I could ask you the same thing.” Louis leant down to whisper in your ear. “I’m glad I ran into you. You look beautiful Mrs. Tomlinson.” You could feel heat rise to your cheeks. “We’re not married yet.” Louis kissed your neck and a shudder of pleasure ran through your body. “But by this time tomorrow we will be, and I was just practising what I’m going to be saying for the rest of my life.” You leant away from him and cupped his face. “Do you think I can kiss you right now?” Louis eyes sparkled with happiness and a glint of mischief. “I was hoping that the next time I kiss you would be when the priest says ‘I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss your bride’ but I think I can bend the rules a bit.” Louis leaned down and meet your lips with an intense kiss. You were both so caught up in each other you forgot that everyone else was there until there was an awkward cough. You both pulled apart at the sound. Harry patted Louis on the back. “I know you love her and all that but I think you should be saving that for the honeymoon. Plus I think it’s time that we head back to the hotel. Don’t want you to be too tired for tomorrow, especially tomorrow night.” This made you blush. “I love you (Y/N). See you at our wedding.” You kissed him one last time. “I’ll be the one in white.”

Niall: You had just finished your rehearsal dinner at a local restaurant that you and Niall had rented out and now you were both on your way to your shared apartment. You and Niall had both decided that you were going to stay with each other the night before your wedding, tradition be damned. Your hand was twined in Niall’s free hand as his other was on the steering wheel, “We’re getting married tomorrow.” You squeezed Niall’s hand in excitement. He takes his eyes off the road for a moment and kissed the back of your hand. “I love you.” He quickly focused his eyes back on the road. “(Y/N)?” You turned to face Niall’s profile. “Yeah baby?” Niall’s eyes quickly flicked to yours then back to the road in nervousness. “Are you sure that you want to spend the night with me instead of doing the traditional night apart. I know it will make our mums happy.” You smile at Niall’s thoughtfulness. “I love how you worry over making our parents happy but this wedding is about you and me. It’s about us coming together and we’re doing it our way, who cares what others think. As long as we love our decisions that’s all that should matter.” Niall didn’t seem so convinced by your words. “I know it’s about us, but it’s also about our families becoming one as well.” You sighed. “Niall, do you want to spend the night apart?” He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know.” You pulled your hand from Niall’s. “Just take me to a hotel and I will spend the night there. You can stay at the apartment.” Niall groaned and pulled over onto the side of the road, turned the engine off and faced you. “I didn’t mean to make you upset…” Niall placed his hand on your cheek and turned your face to look at him. “… You are the most important person to me. I just need you to be happy.” You were holding back tears. “I spend so much time away from you already, I can’t do another night when I know you’re so close.” A tear escaped and Niall quickly scooped it up. “I’m sorry darling I didn’t know you felt that way. When we get home we can cuddle in bed and watch a movie. After all we do have a big day tomorrow.” You smiled at him and leant into the palm of his hand. “I would like that very much. I love you Niall.” Niall leant over and kissed your lips. “I love you too (Y/N).”

Zayn: Tomorrow is your wedding to Zayn and only today he and the boys had came back from the last leg of the tour. Which is cutting it pretty close but he’s here now and plus you hadn’t seen him for weeks because you flew back home to finish preparing for the wedding. Everyone including Zayn and yourself had agreed that you weren’t to see each other before the wedding but you couldn’t take one more minute being away from him. You had managed to convince your friends to allow you and Zayn be together for a short while but the catch was you both had to be blindfolded. You were sitting on your friends bed in her hotel room with your blindfold on as you waited for Zayn to arrive. Five minutes later there was a knock on the door, the door opened followed by several sets of footsteps. “Zayn?” There was a pressure on the bed to your right and a hand was tracing your arm. “I’m here my love.” You scooted closer to the sound of his voice. “I missed you so much. I’m so glad you’re finally home.” Your hands found each other’s and linked together. “I missed you too. It’s good to be back, but I just wish that I could see you. I just want to look into your eyes and know that there is nothing but love there. And to see the faint colour come to your cheeks just because I say that you’re beautiful.” You manage to rest your head on his shoulder. “Tomorrow can’t get here fast enough. I just want to be your wife already. Do you think that they would mind if we got up right now and just eloped?” At this Zayn’s mum interrupts. “We would mind very much.” You both just laughed at her predictable reaction. “I think that answers your question my love.” You both just sat there for a while, nothing said between you as you just reconnected in being near each other. A while later Trish said that it was time that Zayn went so we could all get to sleep so we looked half decent for tomorrow. “Mum I think you’re forgetting (Y/N) could wear a potato sack down the aisle and I would still think she is the prettiest person that there ever was.” This statement of love caused your heart to flutter, “Zayn I love you.” You felt Zayn’s weight shift and then his lips were touching your nose. “I wanted to kiss your lips not your nose.” You chuckled at his confession. “How about the next time your lips touch mine we will be husband and wife.” Zayn’s weight left the bed. “Sounds good my love. I need to go now but I will be seeing you my gorgeous bride tomorrow.” A few moments later the door clicked shut and your friends were taking your blindfold off. As your eyes adjusted to the light again you knew that Zayn would do anything in his power to make you happy and that marrying him was going to be the best thing to ever happen to you.

A/N: I am so sorry I have been M.I.A for a couple months. I finished my course and have started another course that goes for a year but I have been writing in that time as well just haven’t posted so there will be a few things over the next week or so. Requests and feedback would be wonderful. Hope you have a good day.