missing items

Random joke magic items

Here’s a list of random joke items to use for fun in your campaign. I’d recommend adding them to treasure hoards rather than subbing normal items for them.
Anyway here they are:

1. Ace of Spades - An ace of spades from a standard card deck. No matter where you store it on your body, you will always be able to find it in your right sleeve afterwards.

2. Amulet of Extra Amulet Slot - This amulet allows you to gain the benefit from two magical amulets rather than one. It cannot be further enchanted.

3. Amulet of Feather Fall - When worn, this amulet turns into a feather and falls to the ground.

4. Amulet of Unbreaking Bones - Con-man says you can’t break any bones. Really, he means other’s bones. -100% damage against skeletons.

5. Amulet of weather detection - yells that it is or is not raining.

6. Anti-Matches - A box of matches. Striking one will make it begin to drip water from the tip while the match shrivels away. The amount of water a match releases is about enough to fill a tablespoon.

7. Arrow of Euarere - A silver arrow, suspended on a string. It always points to the person holding the string.

8. Arrow of Slaying, The - This magical arrow is capable of killing a creature.

9. Artist’s Bludgeon, The - Inanimate objects hit with this bludgeon will receive no damage; they will however change color.

10. Attentive Guardsman’s Pike - These ornate and deadly-looking ceremonial pikes are reach weapons and appear to weigh at least 20 lbs, not counting the weight of the fluttering banners that can be unfurled for parade use. Constructed of shadowstuff, they weigh one pound, and inflict only a single point of damage on an attack, being almost entirely for show, although they also have the unique property of remaining in place when set (although unable to support more than 20 lbs), allowing a ‘resting his eyes’ guardsman to prop it up and leave it standing under its own power, while his hand sags off of it.

11. Attentive Guardsman’s Tabard - A dozen of these tabards were fashioned for palace guardsmen in the Empire of Sard, 250 miles from the nearest enemy. The bearer is placed under a glamour that causes him to appear alert and awake, even if his eyes are closed and he is snoring lightly.

12. Axe of Big Numbers - This axe shouts “Big numbers baby, come on!” whenever it is swung, but always deals 1 damage or less.

13. Axe of Empathy - Every time you hit something with this +5 greataxe, you get dealt an equal amount of damage. Both you and the thing you hit are then healed the amount of damage dealt by the axe, even if either are dead. The Axe hopes you have learned your lesson.

14. Axe of Pain - The axe is always moaning and groaning with pain.

15. Bag of Faerie Gold - This sack appears to be full of gold coins and jewels. When one attempts to spend them, however, the glamour on them soon vanishes, revealing them to be nothing but leaves and pebbles. Obviously, most shopkeepers will not be happy about this, and no amount of ‘we didn’t know, I swear!’ will change their mind.

16. Bag of Holding - This item functions as a normal backpack, however when attempting to retrieve an item, a calm female voice tells them there is a wait time of 4d10 minutes before they can retrieve their item (actual time is stated time plus 6d6 additional minutes). During this wait, the bag plays either annoying muzak or advertisements for the bag’s creator’s other products/services. Upon attempting to retrieve an item, there is a chance that the wrong item is retrieved, or that the intended item is simply missing. Obtaining the original item requires an additional 4d10+6d6 minutes and has only a 5% chance of success.

17. Bag of Trading - You can take one thing out of the bag for each object you put in the bag. However, you have no control over what you get, and there are no trade-backs. Past research seems to imply there’s some sort of correlation to what gets you what, but it’s extremely convoluted and far from understood.

18. Bag of Trick - This bag operates like a Bag of Tricks, except it only works once a week and produces a rat each time it is used.

19. Bag of Unholding - Quite a large backpack but even the smallest item doesn’t fit.

20. Bagpipe of Stealth - Grants the user invisibility as long as it is being played.

21. Ball of Eyes - A snow-globe filled with miniature eyeballs. When shaken, it grants the user a blurry, jittery vision of some future event.

22. Banana Walkie-Talkies - There exist two, and only two, of these items in the world. One of which is possessed by a cranky and lonely half-orc. It appears to be an innocuous wooden banana with a coat of faded yellow paint. When an end (doesn’t matter which one) is placed against your ear, you can hear a ringing followed by a click and a half-orc yelling at you for waking him up at this ungodly hour. If you drop the banana or “hang up,” the call ends. If you stay and listen, the half-orc will yell at you, call out obscenities, and start going on about his daily problems and mishaps in his love life. Every so often (2% chance/day), the banana will ring while you are sleeping and the half-orc will want to talk to you about his problems.

23. Barrel of Holding - This large wooden barrel measuring √(12/π) feet in diameter and 5 feet in height can hold up to 15 cubic feet of matter.

24. Beam Sword of Severed Nerves - A beam sword. It cannot cut anything but nerve strings. Will pass through any other material leaving no harm.

25. Belt of Pants - This belt creates illusory pants on the wearer. The wearer can suppress the illusion at will

26. Belt of Tightening - Every time you put this belt on, all of your clothes permanently shrink a fraction of a millimeter. The effect is compound.

27. Belt of Unbathed Breath - When worn around the waist, allows the user to breathe underwater. Does not function when wet.

28. Boogie Skeleton - This pile of bones is small, such as one that might be obtained from a bird or a toad, though it can look as though it came from any creature. When a song is sung or played in the vicinity of the skeleton, it begins to dance appropriately. As soon as the music stops, it collapses into the pile of bones again. The skeleton, when dancing, can be no larger than Diminutive.

29. Book of Canon - A book that automatically transforms into a copy of the sacred text of any religion, translated into the language the user is most familiar with.

30. Book of Confusion - The letters in this book always appear to be upside down, even if viewed from different directions at the same time. The book is a bad novel about zombies.

31. Book of Curses - When opened, the book verbally berates anyone in the immediate vicinity, calling into question their combat ability, intellect, personal hygiene, lineage and profession of their mothers, and other delightful insults. Once closed the book continues shouting (although it is muffled) until placed inside a bag or some other similar container for 1d4+1 minutes and ignored. Replying to the book in any other way causes the insults to get louder and more childish the more time you spend replying to it.

32. Book of Exalted Deeds - Contains a listing of some of the finest houses ever sold and the specifics of the titles to the properties.

33. Boots of Blinding Speed - The wearer’s speed is doubled, and they are blinded.

34. Boots of Levitation - These boots levitate a few inches off the ground when not worn.

35. Boots of Stylishness - Knee high black boots that are always clean and shiny. They never take in water, thus feet are always dry.

36. Boots of Teleportation - Allows the player to teleport wherever they like, but don’t carry the wearer with them when activated; the boots teleport just fine, though.

37. Boots of Walking - The wearer of the boots cannot run, nor can he take a double move action, and takes a -5 to Tumble checks. These boots are made for walkin’, and that’s just what they’ll do.

38. Bottle of Air - It’s a bottle. Full of air. Congratulations.

39. Bottomless Beer Mug - Any liquid poured into this mug treats the bottom as incorporeal, but solid objects don’t.

40. Bowl of Comfortable Warmth - Any liquid in the bowl will feel comfortably warm, so icy cold water will feel like it’s a bit over room temperature. Do note, however, that it’s still icy cold water, it just feels warmer.

50. Breastplate of Secret Detection - If the wearer of this breastplate gains a piece of information that is somehow connected to the concealment of a hidden conspiracy or plot, a live and still wet red herring forms on the inside of the armor.

51. Bullying Gloves - At random intervals, these gloves instil the wearer with a near-irresistible urge to hit themselves.

52. Bunyan’s Belt - When worn, causes an enormous, bushy black beard to appear on the wearer’s face.

53. Cape of Resistance - When this item is placed on any living thing it somehow manages to fall off, untie itself, slip past the owner’s neck entirely, or otherwise avoid being worn.

54. Case of the Litigator - Translates any document placed in the case into legal jargon; non-reversible. Does not confer the ability to understand legal jargon.

55. Cat of Schrodinger - When this cat is not being observed in any way it is both dead and alive. When something observes it, it suddenly becomes either dead or alive with a 50% chance of either.

56. Chair of Steadiness - This chair can be moved but cannot be tipped over by anything less than a DC 35 Strength check.

57. Charles - This small, unremarkable figurine of a gnome refuses to be called anything but Charles. No other name will leave the lips of the speaker. It has no other powers.

58. Chime of Interruption - This instrument can be struck once every round, which takes a standard action. On any round the chime is activated the user may ready one action without spending an action to do so.

59. Chime of Opening - Commonly affixed to or near doors, when pressed it emits a sound on the interior of the owner’s home to let them know guests have arrived.

60. Chime of Opening (Alternate) - When struck against a solid surface, this chime emits a loud click, and opens along its length, to reveal a tiny compartment adequate to conceal a single 'smoke’ worth of pipeweed or a blowgun needle. When the compartment is closed, it is seamless and can be detected only with a DC 20 Search check. If hit with an instrument such as a small mallet, it chimes.

61. Cloak of Billowing - This black and silver cloak will always billow dramatically behind the wearer, it has no other effects.

62. Cloak of Displacement, Minor - This item appears to be a normal cloak, but when worn by a character its magical properties distort and warp reality. When any attack is made against the wearer the cloak has a 20% chance of falling off, no matter how it is secured.

63. Compacting hammer - The force imparted by it is multiplied, but is spread around the surface of a struck object facing inward.

64. Cymbal of Symbols - This musical instrument enables the user to comprehend dead languages, but only while they are deafened by noise.

65. Dagger of Told Secrets - A simple-looking dagger. If used to backstab someone to death, it will whisper your most embarrassing secret to that person.

66. Dagger of unnatural sharpness - The blade is exceptionally sharp to your touch. It confers no combat bonuses but can be used as a normal dagger for fighting or crafting, but the user seems to always cut himself in minor ways when using it.

67. Dagger of Untold Secrets - A simple looking dagger. If used to backstab someone to death, it will whisper the most embarrassing secret of that person to you.

68. Decanter of Endless Sorrow - A pewter flask that produces limitless alcohol when held to their lips by someone who is troubled. It gets them drunk but they never feel any better.

69. Diadem of Brothaurity - When wearing this headpiece, you are as elegant and well-spoken as a famous diplomat or regent, but you can’t stop calling everyone bro.

70. Enchanted Book of Collected Stories - Opening this will cause miniature creatures/people to pour out and perform a chapter from the book much like a theater.

71. Focusing Ring - The digit on which this ring is worn can be viewed in extremely high definition from a great distance.

72. Gloves of Tinkering - Wearing the gloves will make you able to almost repair any broken item. However, you will always end up with pieces from the item that don’t seem to fit anywhere.

73. Glowing sword of orc detection - When it gets orc blood on it the sword glows.

74. Good Luck ring - Gives your enemies good luck!

75. Greater Staff of Random Summoning - Summons a random creature at a random place. You could be summoning a giant Ogre on the other side of the globe for all you know.

76. Helm of Awareness, The - The wearer is acutely aware of the fact that they are wearing this helmet and that it has a magical effect. - All you need to do to make this work as a DM is frequently remind the player that the helm is magical while they are wearing it but be evasive about exactly what it does.

77. Hoarder’s Wand - Does nothing but for some reason you think it might be important later in your quest.

78. Hood of Offensive Facades - This hood will change your identity in the eyes of others to the appearance of the person they most personally dislike.

79. Hood Of Worrisome Facades - This hood will change your identity in the eyes of others, however the identity used will be random.

80. Indestructible Notebook of Memories - This otherwise normal notepad of normal notepad size cannot be damaged or destroyed, and anything written in it cannot be obscured or defaced. It also has unlimited pages despite its finite size. However, the data it holds only lasts as long as the writer independently remembers it, and decays in exact proportion to the relevant memories. Remember who and when, but not where? Then the words describing the location in that particular entry are the only ones gone.

81. Intransigent Rod - When the button on this artifact is pressed in, the holder’s opinions solidify and they become impossible to convince.

82. Key to anywhere - opens any door into a closet with a water bucket that falls and hits the player’s head. Inside this closet is the treasure of true adventurers. If opened with a key, it opens a closet…

83. Lunch Box of Delicious Unfulfillment - This lunch box will hold whatever food you desire. However you will never get full and the food will deliver no nourishment.

84. Mask of Concealment - Hides the wearer’s face and conceals everything from them by blocking their eyes! Bonus points for requiring a strength check or a time limit to expire to be removed.

85. Mattress of Poverty, The - No matter how you fluff this gorgeous, thick, mattress, you will always sleep on the thin part of it.

86. Mug O’ Dissatisfaction - A mug that always produces a steaming hot cup of coffee or tea when tapped on the bottom. It conjures the opposite of what the tapper prefers, so if you like tea you get coffee and vice versa. Handing the full mug to another person will make the drink in it transform to the opposite of that person’s preferences.

87. Murder Dagger - All damage it would deal is instead replaced by the target being harassed by crows for that many hours.

88. Needle Of Learned Compromise - This needle will create beautiful tattoos of any design, however they hurt a tiny bit more. When used to sew it is entirely normal.

89. Portable Dark Tavern Corner - Consisting of two wooden boards connected by a hinge, this artifact draws those nearby into assuming it is a perfect spot to conduct seedy business.

90. Potion of fire breathing - For the length of time that the potion is in effect, every breath out is on fire, whether you want it to be or not.

91. Potion of Quelchment - Cures thirst when consumed

92. Ring of Fire Detection - becomes warm when placed into Fire.

93. Ring of First Impression - Wearing the ring will make you able to perform a perfect handshake with the hand wearing it.

94. Ring of Stoneskin - Turns your skin, muscles, and organs into stone! Character is now a stationary statue. Can’t be reversed until someone takes the ring off.

95. Rope of Entanglement - Becomes entangled when left in a pack

96. Sack of Hive Eggs - Crushing one of the numerous tiny eggs will cause the thoughts of everybody in the proximity to merge. Everybody can hear what you think and you can hear everybody.

97. Shirt of fire protection - this shirt is sopping wet.

98. Shoes of the Restless Traveler - These shoes allow their user to run for miles without feeling fatigue, but if they try to do anything else with it (walk, sit down, jump), they will instantly trip

99. Sword of Parrying - Parries every attack, swinging it yourself will force it to “parry” your opponent’s weapon/attack even though he/she/it is defenseless.

100. Torch of Night Vision - grants bearer Night Vision while lit.

101. Vorpal Grindstone - It can “sharpen” any object to become vorpal. Any object.

102. Wand of command - Lets your character be controlled after saying the command word!

103. Wand of Create Wand of Create Wand - Creates a Wand of Create Wand. Consumes original Wand.

104. Wand of Pigeon Summoning - summons 1d20 pigeons everyday. On a 20 it breaks and summons a giant pigeon god (can be the size of Godzilla or like 5 pigeons.) Giant pigeon god should be in the mid 20s for CR, but is uninterested in attacking, and will simply fly away when summoned.

105. Water Hat, The - A small red hat, when worn, causes water to pour from the wearer’s fingers at the speed and pressure of a kitchen faucet at half power.

106. Wineskin of the Eternal Primary - This wineskin never runs out of water, but even the tiniest sip makes you have to go potty, like, super bad. Right now.

2

My Teepublic - My Redbubble - Commission Info

Made some fun magic items which’ll be in my homebrew campaign later once it starts, some based on jokes or puns, but all usable! Well, maybe not the egg completely since the last result is heavily based on things in my own campaign, but discounting that you could use these if you’d like~ 

🎇 Accio Item Finding Spell 🎇

a harry potter inspired spell for summoning lost items from their hiding places

🎇  gather: bay leaf, green string, cardamon, yellow candle, a wand

🎇  wrap the wand with the bay leaf and green string 

🎇  burn cardamon on yellow candle

🎇  gesture with the wand around the flame

🎇  chant “accio!” and blow out the flame

🎇   use the candle’s energy to guide you to the missing item, or wait for it to turn up. 

The Mysterious Case of Missing Moose Items

Warnings: None. Just fluffiness
Characters: Sam & Dean Winchester, Sister Winchester Reader
Summary: You keep taking Sam’s stuff
Reader’s Age: Any
Word Count: 588(like I said it’s a drabble)

Y/N: Your Name

A/N: Wrote half of this awhile ago when I still had my laptop and I finished it a few days ago and boom here it is! Also figured y'all needed something nice and fluffy after the last imagine… Heh… Enjoy!


“Dean, have you seen my laptop?” Sam asked his brother, looking frantically around the library.

“No. Did you lose it?”

Sam gave Dean the classic Winchester bitch-face. “If I hadn’t lost it, I wouldn’t be asking you,” Sam snarked.

“Well looks like you also just lost my help,” Dean picked up his book and walked off.


Sam’s alarm clock blared in his room and startled him awake. He rolled over with a groan and shut it off. Sighing, he got up and dragged his feet, heavy with sleep, over to his dresser. Sam opened a drawer, realizing he only had two flannels left. With a confused look, Sam took one of the two flannels left and came to the conclusion that simply no one’s done the laundry in awhile.

Sam had a shower, got dressed and made his way to the library.

“Is Y/N up yet?” Sam asked once he saw Dean scrolling on his laptop, feet up on the table and leaning back in a chair.

“Not that I know of,” Dean answered, noticing Sam’s flannel. “Didn’t you wear that a few days ago?”

“I thought so too…” Sam looked down at his clothes, “All my shirts and flannels are disappearing. Has anyone done the laundry?”

“Yeah. Y/N did it yesterday,” Dean told Sam, fianlly getting into this odd mystery.

“Maybe she hasn’t brought my clothes to my room yet.” Sam said just above a whisper, but with the quiet that the Bunker always had, Dean heard.


“Dean!” Sam yelled from down the hall, peeking his head out of his bedroom door.

“What?!” Dean yelled back, not bothering to get up from his comfy spot in a chair.

“Did you take one of my books?” Sam yelled back, walking around the corner into the kitchen.

Dean called back, “Dude, I haven’t taken any of your stuff.”

Sam’s eyebrows furrowed together, wondering why his stuff keeps magically disappearing.

Sam’s thoughts were interrupted as he saw you waltz into the kitchen. His eyes instantly went to the flannel you were wearing, not just any flannel, his flannel.

Sam cleared his throat. “Y/N?” You turned around, giving him a silent cue to continue. “Is that my flannel?” He pointed to the giant red plaid flannel you were wearing. You looked down at it and fiddled with the soft, long sleeves.

“Uhmmm… no?” you answered, avoiding Sam’s eyes in hopes he won’t make you give them back.

“Are you the one stealing my stuff?” Sam couldn’t help the grin that wormed it’s way in.

“Okay,” you huffed in defeat. “I usually just take like one or two of your flannels, but then I kept losing them so I kept taking more…”

Sam gave you a straight and unreadable face, making you crack like an egg. “They’re comfy!” you defended, waving your hands around and the long sleeves flew around, nearly hitting a pan.

“I want my flannels back, and all the other stuff you took from me,” Sam chuckled, “but… you can keep one.

“Fine…” You pouted, shuffling back to your room to find all the hidden flannels you stole. Dean started laughing as he watched the mystery unfold.

“I don’t get why she goes after my things,” Sam chuckled.

“As long as she doesn’t take my stuff…” Dean snarked, earning an eye roll from Sam. “Y'know… Some of my blankets have been going missing- Y/N!!” Dean yelled, racing out of the kitchen after you as he heard Sam burst out laughing.

I hope y'all like this one! I’m open for tips on improving!

Tagging: @magicalsis11, @joanne-egberp, @16wiishes, @ledledledledled, @fanboyswhereare-you, @athenepallas, @sammyfrigginwinchester, @spnkisum, @xsecretrejectx, @pretty-odd-jenn, @jamies-supernatural-world, @oneshotsdeanshort, @jiggysupernatural, @jensen-jarpad, @capruinedmylife, @bea789, @beholders-chroniclers, @starswirlblitz, @of-virtuoso

(Just cause I love the title so much I gotta give cred to @20secspnfam4 who came up with it XD)
9

Boho Classic Apartment : 20 Culpepper House

———–

3BR, 2 BA - CC FREE
Newly renovated, spacious yet cozy home is perfect for 3-4 sims. Outfitted with a boho inspired kitchen, perfect for the foodie sim, and a small, sleek office for the more studious family members. 

———–

This room is available on the gallery!
Download:
Origin ID - TheSimkea

Walls have been removed in order to upload the apartment as a whole, those will simply need to be replaced. Make sure to turn on MOO before placing, otherwise some items may be lost.

————

Requirements:
City Living, Get Together, Kids Room Stuff, Get To Work, Vintage Glamour, Vampires, Movie Hangout, Dine Out, Cool Kitchen, Spa Day, Luxury Party, Backyard Stuff, Outdoor Retreat.

Remember, you can always replace missing items with ones from packs you do own.


EDIT/UPDATE: I am a stupid, and did not play test this before uploading. The office furniture is not all functional, and some items need to be moved around. I think everything else should work fine.

Dear customers

Here’s a list of perfectly logical reasons the computer says we have one in stock, but you aren’t going to walk out of the store with it:

1) This is rare, but sometimes corporate says they sent us something and then we never received it.
2) Someone else might have bought it. I think how often the system updated inventory changed, but last I knew it only updated once every 24 hours. So somebody else might have it, and stock doesn’t magically refill the second it’s purchased. From personal experience, I think it takes over a week for corporate to ship refills unless it’s an extremely popular item.
3) If something is stolen, we have to go in manually and take it out of the system. We need to actually know an item was stolen and we need the bar code for the item. If someone steals something and leaves the tag on, we can’t take it out of the system. If the tag gets thrown away, we can’t take it out of the system. If we have no idea it was stolen, we can’t take it out of the system.
4) If an item is missing a tag, and the cashier doesn’t get the matching bar code, inventory will be off. For example, if you take the same shirt in a medium and a large to the register and the large is missing a tag so the cashier scans the medium twice, the computer thinks we sold two mediums and a large is still in stock even though someone just walked out with a large. Then corporate sends us two mediums and we still don’t have a large.
5) If another customer picked the item up then took it to a different department and left it or even just shoved it on a different rack in apparel, there’s no way for me to know where it is. I might work here, but I don’t have a natural GPS locator that lets me hone in on the location of a single item.
6) We might have it, and it might be in the back, but “the back” isn’t a perfectly organized replica of the front of the store. It’s most likely in a box that’s stacked underneath 5-20 more boxes and behind a palette of 40 other boxes, and if it didn’t take hours to look through the boxes whoever worked freight would’ve finished and put it out on the floor, so I actually can’t just walk back there, pick it up, and bring it out to you in under 5 minutes.

So if y'all could chill when I can’t find The One the computer says we have in stock, that’d be great.

5

Repainting Faux-Leather bags/accessories

This is a tutorial of how I made my Weiss Schnee satchel , using a bag I got from Good-Will.(photo of Weiss Schee bag for reference)

Top photo: The supplies you will need for this project.

- Rubbing alcohol( I used 50% because its what I had on hand, but 20-90% should work just fine as well)

 -Cotton balls(number needed variety depending on the size of your bag, I used three for this clutch)

-Paint, in the color’s you want your bag to be(in the photo there is tan, black, silver, pearl, and white, to achieve this look)

-Clean make-up sponges(or paint sponges, up to you)

-This wasn’t in the photo, my apologizes, but a seam ripper and/or scissors will also be needed.

 -Another missing item from my photo is a sealer/finish. I used a liquid mog-podge, in matte finish, but that’s just personal preference.

Photo(s) 2-4: (2)Front view, (3)back view, (4)inside view

Steps:

1. Remove any piece that are not wanted for your bags look using a seam ripper, such as a zippers, tassels, handles, straps, etc. I would only use scissors if you have to, because you can ruin a piece by cutting the wrong seam.

2. Soak your cotton balls in the alcohol and clean you fax-leather bag completely. Make sure you get all creases, nooks, seam-lines, and over lapping fabric, any oil/dirty left on your piece can ruin your paint job.

3. Apply your first coat. Your paint needs to be either acrylic/leather paint. You will probably need multi-coats of your base if your are changing the color drastically, like from black to white. Use a very opaque color as a base( I used tan because it’s my most opaque color and its a neutral)

4. Keep layering your base coat until you can’t see the original color of the bag, using your sponges. Let it dry from between 10-15 min. in between coats.

5. Once you achieve complete coverage move on to your main color. Layer this color as well until its fully covered, then let dry over night.

6. Once completely dry apply your sealer/finish to your satisfaction/direction of your finish.

Note: Feel free to use painters tape to cover an area that you don’t want painted, such as a clip/decoration.

2

To our many wonderful princesses:

Please be aware that we cannot provide you with support through SNS! This includes asks/messages on Tumblr, comments on Facebook posts, and mentions on Twitter. Any questions about your in-game account (such as coins, missing items, and data transfers) made through SNS cannot be answered. (Also note: we cannot answer inquiries made during the weekend or on Japanese public holidays until the next business day.)

If you need help, you can reach us through the customer service page in the app! We will gladly assist you in whatever ways we can from there ❤️

Thank you as always for all of your support and understanding!

With love,
the English Ikémen Series team

Another item missing in the Federal Government’s 2017 budget:

Funding to close the gap between indigenous children and other children across Canada.

The Canadian government has been found guilty of racially discriminating against 165,000+ indigenous children and ordered by the Human Rights Tribunal to close this gap. They’ve now sent 3 legal orders, and the government still has not complied with the order.

We Got Friday Nights

A little friends to lovers drabble/one shot for @thesschesthair​ cos she likes them and she is awesome!


also on ff.net and ao3


When your best friend is gorgeous, smart and one of the most decent people you’d ever met, it makes sense that people would think you were a couple. Of course every time this happened to Killian Jones and Emma Swan they’d laugh it off and say there was no chance that anything like that could ever happen.

They were friends - for almost five years - and they quite liked it that way.

Only one time, she had seriously considered it.

They were in the middle of this health kick - running a few times a week after Emma had almost collapsed chasing a skip up a fire escape. Killian had offered to run with her - it wasn’t safe for her to be running around on her own, he’d said - she’d rolled her eyes and reminded him that she could take care of herself and that Storybrooke was hardly the crime capital of New England. He’d still insisted on joining her.

One Saturday he’d knocked on her apartment door, too early for the sun even to have peeked over the horizon. The park was deserted as they pounded the trails in companionable silence until it began to rain. A fine mist at first, it quickly graduated into a heavy downpour with large, freezing drops saturating them in seconds as they raced to the cover of the trees.

Killian laughed when she slipped in the mud, his hands coming up to her waist to halt her fall -  they were warm, even through her soaked t-shirt. He was close enough she could really appreciate those damn blue eyes of his that never saw him leave a bar without at least one phone number (wanted or not). His hair had fallen over those eyes. She’d told him a dozen times to cut it and he always just shrugged. Water dripped down those silky tendrils, drizzling across his cheek. Dazed, she’d stared at his perfect face.

For a second, she’d forgotten who he was ( her best friend ) and why they’d never been more than that (she didn’t do relationships or men in general, he just didn’t do commitment). For a moment he was just a handsome, perfect guy who she was very attracted to… so she reached up and brushed away the rogue strands, her fingers sliding down his cheek, reluctant to break the contact. It was okay- just for that moment - to let herself get lost in the smile he gave her and to imagine what it would be like to kiss those lips and for those hands to tighten at her waist and draw her close.

They’d hugged a thousand times. But that was different, because he was her friend and every hug they shared was devoid of that pulling tension she felt right then. Warmth radiated from him as the rain tumbled through the pine trees. She let herself daydream for a few perilous moments about a “them” - a dream of cozy dates and tangled limbs and kisses and-

Then, of course, reality kicked in. The rain vanished, the sun replacing it in the blink of an eye. He’d tugged on her shoulder, rousing her out of the dream as he asked her if she was ready to head back. She’d smiled and nodded, avoiding his gaze until her feet found that rhythm again on the mossy footpaths, each step pushing that idea further away.


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anonymous asked:

How did you teach Rex to come at the hand signals and to find missing items?

Postive reinforcement.

For teaching birds to come when called just start by rewarding them every time they land on you. Then only reward after a given cue (a hand signal, saying their name, etc). Takes a day or two with a bird that’s already hand tame to get them to understand the concept, and a few weeks to get them to have a fast response and have them do it in new situations.

Teaching Rex to find objects is a little more complicated since I have to teach her the name of each object. Rex already knows that when I tap on an object I want her to interact with it, so I simply started holding an object, such as my phone, and saying “phone.” She’d tap it with her beak. Next I set it down and point at it, and say “phone.” Once she pecks it I give her a treat. I repeat that for a while then I put it somewhere further away and say “phone.” and just look at it, and don’t point. When she goes to it I give her a treat. I put it in multiple different places and repeat that for a while. Next I stop looking at it and simply say “phone.” Once she understands that I move on to not making a point about it when I place it somewhere and not asking her to find it until a few minutes after I put it somewhere.

Somewhere along the way of the above process I start saying “Where’s my phone?” or “can you find my phone?” instead of just “phone” which sets me up for teaching her new objects. Once she knows that phrase all I have to do is teach her the word for new objects. Best way to do that is to hold a new object, say, my stylus, in front of her and say “stylus.” and reward her when she interacts with it. Then I can place the stylus and phone in front of her and say “stylus.” and if she pecks the stylus then I reward her, and so on.

Street Rat

Bucky Barnes x mutant!Reader

Warnings: Angst, money struggles, family issues, fluff

A/N: So, I was so inspired by this request that I actually wrote 2.5K words for it. So it’s a long one! I almost posted it in two parts but I figured this was easier. Hope you like it! 

PS: As much as I like to make people’s days special, it seems like almost every request I get these days is someone telling me it’s their birthday so I won’t be rushing those stories anymore like I used to. From now on if you tell me it’s your birthday, your request is just going to have to wait with everyone else’s unless you’re off anon and I can verify it’s actually your birthday.


You tiptoed through the halls of the run down apartment complex in south Bucharest, trying to stay as quiet as possible. You made your way from apartment to apartment, picking the locks and scouring the rooms for things you could either use or pawn. You finally made it to the last room and decided to rummage through the fridge for something to eat when you suddenly felt a presence behind you. You shot up, and turned around to see a large brown haired man standing in the doorway. He was rather intimidating as the two of you stared at each other in shock. Closing the fridge door, you glanced quickly to the window trying to plot an escape.

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Exo reaction to fiance running away after finding out they’re in a gang

anonymous asked:

Can I have a au gang of Exo and Bts reaction of their fiancé running away after they found out they their husband’s job is?

Hahahah, I’m happy you were the first person to request an exo reaction, thank you, and here you go <3


Junmyeon/Suho

Suho’s whole schedule had been packed this week. An unwelcome guest had appeared lately, one that caused a lot of trouble for him. Today though, he had handed all of his work of to a trusted partner, excitedly making his way home to spend some time with you.

You hadn’t been replying to his attempts to reach you lately, his phone void of any message from you since last Wednesday, so as he pulled into the driveway, getting out and walking in, it wasn’t the largest shock in the world to find the place empty.

He made his way around the house, only checking to see if any of your items where there to humor himself. After making sure that it looked like he was a single man living alone, he headed back to the manor, one word gathering everyone before sending the away.

To say he was proud of you for keeping his men searching for a few hours would be an understatement, your ability only making the wine he was sipping taste even sweeter as he waited at the large dining table. Seeing you escorted in, Suho could only smile, a motion for you to sit down at one of the many empty spots followed by you doing so before he spoke.

“I was going to wait to show you the manor till after we got married, but now that you’re here- welcome home.”

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

Minseok/Xiumin

Xiumin sat at one of the far booths, the aroma of coffee filling the air around him. He waited in the familiar cafe, a small smile on his face as he looked out the window. The shop was on one of the middle floors of a tall building, the people walking along the streets looking small beneath him. He didn’t mind though, his smile turning to a smirk as he could still make out all their features.

At times like these, he was grateful. His well trained eyes giving him the ability to keep his mind busy as he waited for you. After a few minutes, he finally spotted the one he was looking for. A gummy smile spread as he saw you, the casual attire of black jeans and a simple shirt being enough to make him want to jump out the window and hug you. Sadly he would have to wait, your drinks and cookies being prepared at the moment needing him there so they had an owner to go to.

Still, he kept his eye on you. Small chuckles left his mouth when he notice you spotting him, your arm going up in a motion ready to wave before you abruptly stopping. Xiumin watched with a curious gaze as your hand went into your pocket, pulling out at phone before bringing it to your ear.

The once happy smile you wore was gone, a look of panic replacing it for a second before you attempted to hide it. He watched as you started hurriedly walking away from the shop, confusion washing over him as you rounded a corner, leaving his field of sight.

Taking out his own phone, he opened an app he never wanted to use on you, holding the phone up to his ear and hearing the same words you were at the moment.

“He’s lying to you, make your way to my place if you want to be safe.”

That was all he needed before calmly standing up, feet carrying him to the place he knew you were heading to right now.

“This type of work really isn’t something I need right now.”

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

Baekhyun

Baekhyun and you had both been out shopping the entirety of the day. Both of your arms were filled with bags upon bags, all the stores putting you at the top of their customer list as you almost bought out entirety of their merchandise. A coffee in his hand and a mango smoothie in yours, he purposely caught you mid sip, relishing in the way you went wide eyed and tried to swallow faster causing your voice to come out in a funny way that only happened in times like these.

“So, which store next?”

“T-that one.” You pointed to an in style clothing shop, one that had outfits matching what you were wearing at the moment. Leading the way in, Baekhyun followed after you, happily choosing some items for you that he knew you would adore.

With your hands full, you made your way to the dressing room, Baekhyung being left to sit on his own and guard your possessions. He waited for you to come out and show him what you were trying on, his favorite part of shopping with you always being when an outfit would fit you so well, other males heads would turn, their faces dropping when they saw you were taken.

In the off chance that one of them would try anything with you, he would give them a look, one he only used while on the job or in dire times- shut as those.

Luckily for him, you were oblivious to that side of him, a side that he was planning on keeping locked up until you were properly his. Still, as you didn’t come out to him as you normally did, he started to get an uncomfortable feeling, one that was all to familiar that told him when something was wrong.

Making his way to where you were supposedly changing, he knocked on the door, easily opening it when he found it unlocked, revealing an empty room without you there. About to turn around in search of you, he heard a buzz, eyes guiding him to the sound where he spotted your phone.

Picking it up, he read the texts, displeased with the words on screen that caused him to curse to himself. Leaving the room and forgetting about the bags outside, he made his way out of the shop, spotting your scurrying form in the mass of people as he did when searching for his target.

“And this is why you shouldn’t be so curious kitten.”

Originally posted by baekoneggyeolk-ed

Jongin/Kai

Jongin had been happy ever since this morning after receiving your text. Even after all the work he had today, moving the body’s from one place to another, cleaning off his blood stained face and disposing of his once white now red button up shirt, the little message and smiley face made him hum a happy tune as he made his way up the path to your shared home.

He had been away for a week, eager to surprise you by coming home early tonight and spending a couple of relaxing days with you before his next call to work. Deciding to knock on the door as to keep the game of the person waiting on the other side as someone else, he looked down at his hand, a wide grin coming on his face as he saw the wedding ring he had been wearing for months.

Not once did he dare to take it off, the small but meaning full item always getting him through the day when things got harsh but as he stood standing there, he realized you were taking far longer to greet him then normal.

Attempting to gain your attention again, he fail, ultimately causing him to pull out his own key and walk inside. The lights were still on, tv playing one of your favorite shows as he walked around in search for you.

“Y/n?” He called out, making his way around the house before reaching your bedroom.

It was a mess, the closet left open with some of your clothing missing. Items were thrown around as if you were looking for something in a hurry. Walking to where your traveling bags normal were, he notice one was missing, a scribbled note left in it’s place written in a way only you did with the words ‘I’m sorry’ 

Breathing out in annoyance, Jongin went back to his car, angry with understanding keeping him calm as he started driving.

“This isn’t the time to be running away from me”

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

Sehun

Sehun had just finished his last order for the night, the remnants of the job still prominent on his shirt. He was worn out, ready to just go home and crawl on your lap, your waist seeming very hug-able and inviting at the moment.

The feeling of being on you filled his senses, feet walking a little bit faster to get home. Once he did, the first thing he spotted was the back of your head, eyes glued to the tv as he shouted a quick ‘hello’ before making his way to the bathroom to clean up. 

He took of his shirt in the bedroom, walking to your connected bathroom and stepping into the warm shower. It felt nice against his skin, his muscles being soothed underneath them from the strenuous day. He didn’t stay under the water long though, the want to be with you cutting his time short as he started to get dressed.

Making his way down stairs, he was surprised when you weren’t in your original spot, the guess of maybe she’s in the kitchen leading his feet to the room in question. Once there though, you were no where to be seen.

Sehun started to get nervous at that, his first move being to check the whole house- to which he came up empty. He was about to call your phone, the devise to his ear when he saw something where you were sitting.

Picking up the item, he saw it was his shirt, a knowing thought filling his mind that was only amplified when you didn’t pick up. Sighing, he sat where you were before, pulling up a GPS and before texting your whereabouts to the person who he knew would get to you the fasted.

Turning on your favorite show, he waited patiently, happy when he heard the door open and saw you walk in.

“The new episode of your favorite show just started so- why don’t you take a seat.

Originally posted by worship-exo

Chen

Chen had been resting all day, the pain in his side not subduing from the day before. Groaning as he rolled over, he reached out in an attempt to grab you, upset when he felt nothing. Opening his eyes, he saw that it was still dark outside, the time reading 2:19am. He started resting once more, sure that you were just in the bathroom.

Silence filled the air far too long for his comfort though as he decided to get up and see if something was wrong- and to his surprise, there was. You were no where to be found. Grumbling, Chen noticed how some of your items were gone, the overnight bag you owned not in it’s usual spot.

He was annoyed, the usual calm nature he had around you being replaced with his work attitude. Punching a near by wall, he called up a friend.

“Oooo, someones angry.” Chanyeol teased, only to get a large blow to the arm in response. 

“Just drive.” Chanyeol did as he was told, taking Chen to the mansion where he requested for you to be located. In a matter of minutes, you were found, Chen being left to calm down until you came back.

With a drink in hand, he sipped slowly, cooling his head at the thought of you.

“I don’t want to loose her, she’s the only one I would never hurt.”

Originally posted by lawlliets

Chanyeol

Chanyeol had pounced on the opportunity to go home early, the box of chicken in his arms slightly burning his skin, making him rush to you that much faster. You had greeted him excitedly when he got home, not expecting him to be there, but welcoming it with open arms.

You both set up a movie, plates of food taking up both of your laps as you ate in comfortable silence. The movie was halfway through by the time you were both done with your meals, a large smile on Chanyeol’s face as he handed it to you. 

Reaching up to give you a kiss, he was shocked when you jerked away. Shaking it off as ‘not feeling good’ he let you go to the kitchen, focus veering from the movie as you took too long to come back

“Y/n?” He called out to you, surprised when you didn’t answer back. Getting up, he made his way to the kitchen, a scowl on his face when he saw the back door open with you nowhere in sight.

Sighing, he walked out the door himself, annoyed at the night as he mumbled to himself.

“A dine and dash- how darling.”

Originally posted by porkdo-bi

Kyungsoo/ D.O

Watching an action movie on his computer, he waited for you to come home. Work had been somewhat harder today, the screams of the people that he had the pleasure of meet still audible in his ears- or maybe that was just the screen.

Easily though, he shrugged the thoughts away, just ready to see you, the only person who could cure him of strenuous days like today. Finishing the movie though, Kyungsoo realized how late it was, a deep frown forming on his face as you should’ve been here by now.

Checking for any missed messages, he pushed the worried feeling down when he saw you had told him you were getting dinner, the reason being good enough for him to start another movie. But as that one finished, he realized something was off, opting to call you and make sure everything way okay.

Only reaching your voice mail, Kyungsoo quickly dialed a number he didn’t want. Hearing the line click, he started speaking, not wanting to speak to this person longer than he needed to.

“Where is she?”

There was a loud chuck, the sound bringing wrinkles to Kyungsoo’s face as his eyebrows came together in frustration.

“Gone you moron.”

Already knowing the true meaning behind those words (storing the information of being called a moron away for a later time) he hung up, dialing a third number of a person who didn’t want to die.

“Find her, or your your life will go back to the hell it once was.”

Originally posted by luedeer


Masterlist

anonymous asked:

Negative: I missed an item, and put it in the bag without having scanned it on two separate transactions. Positive: Both customers came back in, nicely explained what had happened, and paid for the item. One of them even said she specifically came back in because she didn't want me to get in trouble if it came back on me. Moral of the story: We all make mistakes, but we can learn from them. Also, not all customers are bad. Some are super nice, actually.

anonymous asked:

Headcanon: (pre-stony) Steve always catches Tony staring at him while he draws. Then, one random day, months after the staring kinda dissipated, Steve finds a big sheet of paper. Huge. He unrolls it and Finds a gorgeous drawing of himself made entirely out of shapes. It looks like several blueprints layered over eachother to make a stunning version of himself. Tony obviously did it. He asks Tony about it. He kisses Tony as a thank you. Stony occurs. :):):)

Steve figures the staring thing is just because he happens to be in Tony’s line of sight when the man gets lost in his own thoughts. It happens often enough that he doesn’t put too much thought into it. Even if the way Tony stares at him makes him a little hot under the collar. He just chalks that up to wishful thinking.

He figures his notion is confirmed when Tony’s staring gradually dwindles, thinking that maybe Tony has finally solved whatever problem was bothering him enough to constantly lose focus the way he did. 

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