we’re friends, but, but not friends. friends but i still find myself on the phone with you every night, laughing at every joke you crack. friends but you still think of me before you go to sleep. friends but you still think i’m beautiful. friends but you still want your hands on my body. friends but always, always more than that.
I hope that someday, somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight, and that’s all they do. They don’t pull away. They don’t look at your face. They don’t try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms, without an ounce of selfishness in it.
and i know you’re not in love with me, at least not anymore. there once was a time where a blind man could see how much you loved me, now it’s been months since anything more than a goodnight i love you has passed through your lips. i know you’re not in love with me anymore and i pray to god every night that one day you will fall again.
if there’s a god he left a long time go because i keep calling and all i get is the answering machine// 4am