missing black girl

Obviously I’m not black but this is my good friend Shayna. Yesterday morning she did not wake up due to heart failure or an aneurism, they still aren’t quite sure. So for the black out I want to post a picture of her. Shayna died at such a young age, it makes me sick. She was the most kind hearted person I have ever met. She loved everyone. Her laugh, she had the most killer laugh. I love you Shayna. Rest in peace kiddo. I’ll see you some day.

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.