anonymous asked:

Do you think Handsome Jack ever was a good guy?

*takes a deep breath and nods a bit* I do.

I really do think he started out with good intentions and just lost his way. There is still a lot missing from his back story, even with what TPS filled in. We don’t know what happened with his wife or when he started experimenting on Angel, ect.

Gah, see this is what really upsets me. I like, sorta blame Lilith and Moxxi for doing what they did to him in TPS. Yes, he was starting to spiral down but instead of betraying him, (like, he straight up trusted them, maybe even considered them his friends???) they could have helped him. Taken him under their wings and showed them the vault hunter way. I really think that they created the Handsome Jack we knew in Borderlands 2. 

I’m not saying he was a saint. His methods were unorthodox and a little crazy at times, but I really do think he wanted to help and just got pushed one too many times ): it makes me really sad. I know he was a bad guy, but I don’t think he was always that way. I believe he was good at some point. Just when it really mattered, that Jack was gone, replaced with a baddie.

Okay. So. I just realized something about this gun.

This is the Crit. It’s a third “Miss Moxxi” SMG added in the new DLC.

For those of you that don’t know, “Miss Moxxi” weapons heal you as you do damage and are generally ALWAYS Elemental (with high Elemental Damage Bonuses. However, Moxxi’s SMGs are even more special than her other weapons in that they have additional… flavor.

They are the embodiment of Moxxi’s sexual innuendos and references. The “Good Touch” and “Bad Touch” are both apparently stored in the hammer space of Moxxi’s cleavage, cause she’ll pull them out of her ample bosom and hand them over if you tip her enough. The red flavor text on the Bad Touch reads “When I’m good, I’m very good…” and the red flavor text on the Good Touch reads “…but when I’m bad, I’m better.” which are two parts of a single line from a movie called “I’m No Angel” which is “A story about a gal who lost her reputation - and never missed it!”

The Good Touch even has an added bonus. When Moxxi gives you the gun, she’ll comment that it’s “Her favorite gun”, with a HEAVY focus on the word “favorite”. So what’s so special about it? It vibrates when you hold it. Yup.

But, oh boy, the Crit is a beast in it’s own. First of all, check out that red flavor text: “Slippery when wet”. Yeah. Cleanup on aisle 5, amiright? (I’m not right.). The other gem about this gun is the name, which I completely missed the first time around. The Crit deals severely increased critical hit damage (make sure you nail those headshots). But why is it called “Crit” instead of “Critical”? Think about it. Still can’t figure it out? Red that flavor text again. Still can’t figure it out? Hey, swap a letter in “Crit” with an “L”. Got it now? Good.

Hoo boy.

But the gun is fantastic as well. So there’s that.


Alright, so, now that’s out of my system.
Here’s some pictures! Including the “Fuck I can’t pose for shit so I will slowly sink to the ground while crying”
THANK YOU @marvelarisen for making some of ‘em! (The awesome moxxi)
@ravensablackfeather @popcornpr1nce @zoutzak


So Borderlands guns are awesome and a certain lovely somebody gave a prompt for the legendary “Miss Moxxi’s Jackfucker” and… here we are. Alternatively titled “Miss Moxxi’s Diction”.
click read more for info on redtext, function, and inspiration!

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