miss-moxxi

Okay. So. I just realized something about this gun.

This is the Crit. It’s a third “Miss Moxxi” SMG added in the new DLC.

For those of you that don’t know, “Miss Moxxi” weapons heal you as you do damage and are generally ALWAYS Elemental (with high Elemental Damage Bonuses. However, Moxxi’s SMGs are even more special than her other weapons in that they have additional… flavor.

They are the embodiment of Moxxi’s sexual innuendos and references. The “Good Touch” and “Bad Touch” are both apparently stored in the hammer space of Moxxi’s cleavage, cause she’ll pull them out of her ample bosom and hand them over if you tip her enough. The red flavor text on the Bad Touch reads “When I’m good, I’m very good…" and the red flavor text on the Good Touch reads "…but when I’m bad, I’m better." which are two parts of a single line from a movie called "I’m No Angel" which is "A story about a gal who lost her reputation - and never missed it!”

The Good Touch even has an added bonus. When Moxxi gives you the gun, she’ll comment that it’s “Her favorite gun”, with a HEAVY focus on the word “favorite”. So what’s so special about it? It vibrates when you hold it. Yup.

But, oh boy, the Crit is a beast in it’s own. First of all, check out that red flavor text: “Slippery when wet”. Yeah. Cleanup on aisle 5, amiright? (I’m not right.). The other gem about this gun is the name, which I completely missed the first time around. The Crit deals severely increased critical hit damage (make sure you nail those headshots). But why is it called “Crit" instead of "Critical”? Think about it. Still can’t figure it out? Red that flavor text again. Still can’t figure it out? Hey, swap a letter in “Crit” with an “L”. Got it now? Good.

Hoo boy.

But the gun is fantastic as well. So there’s that.

"I was ready to just roll my eyes at Miss Moxxie BUT for all the times she lets her mask slip a little: over the top innuendo that disgusts herself or states that she’s bored with this sex kitten persona she’s exploited to become a celebrity. She enjoys and owns her sexuality but not in the way she’s built up. This shows she’s a fully realized character at heart a Hodunk hillbilly who loves her son, crazy but in a businesswoman Bond villain way. Clearly the joke is on everyone but her. Plus she gives me awesome hot pink guns I I’ll defend her to the last."