miss-kansas

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Sgt. Theresa Vail is a different type of beauty queen. She is a member of the United States Army Reserves who will be competing at the Miss America pageant this weekend. She will be the first contestant in Miss America history to have her tattoos showing proudly. When asked about this she responded that these tattoos are part of who she is and how would it look for her to cover part of herself when her platform is empowering girls to break through stereotypes. This is the kind of beauty queen girls should look up to.

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This brave bitch is the only reason I’m watching the Miss America pageant right now; Miss Kansas, Theresa Vail.

“[when asked about her message] Empowering women to overcome stereotypes and break barriers. We all face challenges in society. We’re placed under certain convictions and we feel we have to stay under them and I want people to know, it doesn’t matter what society says. It doesn’t matter what the quote, unquote rules say. You can do whatever you want, whatever you set your mind to, that’s what I did when I showed my tattoos.”

Do you ever find yourself wondering whether or not Stanley was banned from Oklahoma or Kansas, because that X he drew was ambiguously straddling the state line? Well wonder no more! Here is the explanation as to how Stanley got banned from those two states simultaneously.

Stan got hired as a trucker (you know, with the semis) from this little company in Oklahoma. Drive north up the interstate and deliver farm equipment to our stores in Kansas/Nebraska. Drive back to our restock center in Kansas. Drive back to Oklahoma. Repeat. 

Stan actually managed to keep this job for a solid couple of months. Of course, he was running a racket on the side, stealing equipment parts of the stuff he was driving and selling it for more money on the D.L. The company had not even caught on to his profiteering procedures yet. 

No, Stan got into an accident where he flipped the semi. How did he do that? He thought he saw a deer in the road. Turns out it was a piece of cardboard trash. He was about to get sued from the company he worked for, as well as the trucking company they leased their vehicles from, based in Oklahoma and Kansas respectively. Having gone under a fake name the entire time of his employment, he skipped town once he was able, got in the Stanleymobile, and drove away. 

It was a shame to see that money go, he’d managed to do okay for himself in those couple of months. That was one of the tip offs that should he get hired in another trucking capacity (if they didn’t send his picture along the line saying not to hire him) that he needed to get some glasses with that first delivery money if he wanted to keep it. Turns out that’s not what prompted him getting glasses at all.

So that’s why Stan crossed off two states at once! (Ambiguously together. His racket crossed state lines).

Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne are just chillin’ because its like five am and both of them have to go pretend they’re normal in like two hours 

and Clark is like Bruce, Bruce I’m serious, I miss Kansas so much.

Bruce is like ok go fucking visit you’ll be there in two goddamn seconds why are you

no, clark says, no I’m not gonna do it that way, that’s cheating, I want to drive back there (Bruce is like oh here we go and covers his face) drive! back there! Windows down, the local country station blasting as I just cruise through those beautiful limestone hills

Hills, Bruce says. Kansas is–isn’t Kansas supposed to be flat?

Omg Clark gives a BIG SIGH like he’s SICK AND TIRED OF THIS MISCONCEPTION because no, only Western Kansas is flat. And it is super, super flat, but so is a good chunk of Colorado before you hit the mountains so I mean really people just don’t get how pretty Eastern Kansas is

Bruce is pulling up a mental map and is like you grew up in Western Kansas tho

Clark is like yeah, sure but I made my fair share of trips to Manhattan

Bruce actually looks at him. Manhattan?

Yeah, Manhattan Kansas.  the Little Apple. …oh my god did you just smile?

no

YOU DID you have to come with me when I go back

Nnoooooo

I’ll let you pick the music

No, Kent, goddammit I’m not going on a fucking roadtrip to the…goddamn Little Apple *SNRK*

I’m gonna have Diana hogtie you and you will go

Fuck you

GO WILDCATS

oh my god gET OUT OF MY HOUSE

In defense of Dorothy Gale

So I’m seeing a lot of mumbling and grumbling about Red Kansas/Ruby Slippers happening because of the “lack of development” between the two characters, or that another ship would have been better because we don’t know Dorothy, or she is blah or whatever the case may be. I get it, we did not have Dorothy around for nearly as long as we’ve been introduced to Ruby and Mulan. Each of them have had their own individual character development, and Dorothy is still fairly new character. 

But I say give the woman a chance! 

Look, we know a bit about her so far, and the way the story is coming along right now, I feel like we’re not done seeing her just yet. 

 Let’s take a little trip down memory lane, shall we?

First of all, we meet Miss Dorothy Gale in “Kansas” the 20th episode of season 3. So already, she’s a character we met prior to this season. In this season, she was just a young girl, who’d traveled to Oz via a cyclone. She met Zelena, who grew jealous of her being there, and being adored by the Good Witches and the people around her. 

Zelena threatened to harm Dorothy after coming to her at a well one night, and Dorothy, confused, throws water on her, in which Zelena feigns defeat. Zelena tricks the Good Witch Glinda and Dorothy, sending the young girl back to Kansas and banishes Glinda to a pocket region of the Enchanted Forest. So we’ve already had Dorothy and Zelena set up to be enemies, and Dorothy I imagine will be helping to rescue Glinda, if Zelena doesn’t let her go first.

The next time we see Dorothy again, it is in Our Decay, episode 16 of season 5. So we’d gotten Dorothy’s backstory in relation to her being brought to Oz by cyclone, her past with Zelena and how she was taken back to Kansas via the silver slippers Zelena gave her by pretending to be the Wizard. In this season, we learn what became of Dorothy after she went back to Kansas. The girl we see from season 3 is a bright eyed, sweet young girl, who is curious about where she is, and is very beloved by the people of Oz, much like how Snow White had been. 

But Season 5′s Dorothy is far more hardened and independent. We learn that when she returned home, the same place she’d eagerly wanted to go back to, thus turning down the welcomed stay in Oz as one of the Good Witches, she was treated like a psychopath, and her family all tried to have her institutionalized. Needless to say, with the way she’d been treated, with her Aunt Em being the only one who stood by her, and yet she ended up passing away, Dorothy had no one left who believed or stood by her. So she was all alone. She ended up getting back to Oz, and once again facing Zelena, who had stolen the slippers, and then steals the Scarecrow’s brain, thus another one of Dorothy’s friends Zelena harms or takes from her. 

Then we have Hades, who we know has thrown poor Aunt Em into the River of Lost Souls, and Zelena put Dorothy to sleep, with the intention of keeping her that way forever. With this all in mind, It looks as though they are setting Dorothy up not to fade into the background, but to help with the downfall of Hades and Zelena.

So no, we didn’t get seasons upon season of character development from her, but she didn’t just come out of nowhere with nothing to her either. Looking into what we have so far, what the creators have set up, Dorothy has plenty of potential to be kept into the story. And I think it’s absolutely adorable that after all the pain both Dorothy and Red must have gone through, being torn from their homes from circumstances beyond their control, or people not believing in them, finding each other, is a beautiful thing. 

Dorothy deserved to find true love, just as much as Ruby did, and I love Red Kansas, not only because their entire time together was sweet, but they have great potential, I wish more people were bothering to look into this more and see more than just a “token” relationship, because I feel it has been set up to be more than that. 

Time will tell, but for now, I’m rooting for Dorothy, Ruby and Red Kansas all the way.