Rich twists in his seat, watching Jane leave the interrogation room and then turns back to Kurt. He’s got that smirk on his face and Kurt dreads whatever is going to come out of his lips next.
“So you two still haven’t slept with each other?” Rich asks, “no need to answer,” he says when Kurt rolls his eyes at him, “I would know. Also, I’m pretty sure you’d tell your buddy Rich had you already had sex.”
Kurt shakes his head. “What makes you think I would tell you about it when we sleep together?”
“What?” Kurt pretends not to notice his own incriminating choice of word.
“You said when you sleep together, not if,” Rich says smugly, “what’re you keeping from me, Stubbles?”
Kurt doesn’t answer him, keeps his jaw clenched.
“You’re not still sleeping with Miss Moneypenny are you? Please tell me you’re not,” Rich says, “you obviously still love Jane, you said when, Kurt, so you still want her… what the hell is wrong with you?”
“I don’t see how any of this is your business,” Kurt says, “now lets go back to the case.”
“How is this my business? How can you say that?” Rich asks, “after everything we have been through, you still don’t believe -”
“It’s complicated, ok?” Kurt finds himself saying to be criminal sitting across from him, “there’s so much that has happened, so much you don’t know about, so much- it’s just complicated, okay? So please just drop it.”
Rich puts his hands up, as much as he could given the handcuffs binding him to the table. “Fine, fine,” he says, “have it your way. But Kurt, love is always complicated, so do yourself a favor and don’t try to hide behind that lame excuse and work your shit out, because that girl, she’s worth it. And whatever it is between you, what could be is greater than what has been.”
“Why do you care?” Kurt says, his voice barely a whisper as Rich’s words sink in.
“Because, you idiot, I really genuinely like you two. And goddammit if you don’t make one smoking hot couple. Is it wrong if a guy has some fantasies he’d like to see fulfilled?”
The Prime Minister has made his decision. MI6 has been shut down.
So what happens now?
Now, I’ve been ordered to take you back to London, where C will label you as a rogue extremist and hang the MI6 bombing on your head. Unless, you were to escape somewhere between here and the airport, having assaulted Miss Moneypenny and me.
You would then illegally scrounge whatever material you could from a backup supply cache that I’ve overlooked. The same cache where Q and Tanner are waiting for further orders.
Sir, you may want to…
You will then disappear, and this conversation never having taken place, your intentions would be unclear. But if any one of your team is caught or killed, they will be branded terrorists, out to incite global nuclear war.
Q does not know Moneypenny is in a relationship,
Bond does. Q thinks they’re flirting and gets jealous. Bond and Eve find this
hilarious. – anon
and you look just ravishing in that dress, Miss Moneypenny.”
workplace etiquette is appalling,” Eve returns, smirking. “I don’t know how
anybody puts up with you.”
nor do I,” Q supplemented, his voice rather frosty. “Bond? A word?”
and Bond exchanged glances. “I think I know what this is about,” Bond said
lightly, both he and Eve visibly trying not to laugh, which really wasn’t doing good things to Q’s
blood pressure. “Q…”
go on, you seem to be both having fun,”
Q interrupted viciously.
gave Eve a final smile, she giggled – Q felt the red reach his face, and held
his fraying temper together by the skin of his teeth – and finally hauled Bond
into his office. “She is flirting.
You are flirting. She’s beautiful and available and flirting and you’re
flirting straight back like you
haven’t even noticed she’s flirting
when she is and what, why the hell are you laughing?!”
fell very quiet. Narrowed his eyes. “Are you lying to me?”
Bond replied immediately. “It’s why we find it quite funny – Q, we’re not
interested in each other. We both have partners we love very much. Hers is
called Tom, I met him a few weeks ago and he’s the absolute opposite of me.
Does that help?”
was, mercifully, no longer smirking. Q still didn’t look overly convinced. “Are
certain,” Bond soothed; Q’s body started to soften slightly. “Honestly Q, do
you really think I’d flirt that much with somebody, when I’m with you?”
Q replied, only a little bit apologetic. “You like flirting, you flirt without
even meaning to, and that’s alright –
but not when it’s somebody single and beautiful who you’d have definitely got
into bed if you weren’t with me and it’s evident that they’re flirting back.”
really are very insecure, aren’t you?”
felt a flush of embarrassment. “I don’t mean to be,” he returned,
unconvincingly. “But James, you’re completely out of my league. It’s difficult
to believe you won’t find somebody else far, far more attractive and worthwhile than me.”
nobody is more worthwhile,” Bond
returned, without missing a beat. “And you are incredibly attractive, so stop
it. You’re finding ways to beat yourself up without any reason. I love you. She
loves Tom. All is well.”
continued to stare levelly. “Okay,” he muttered. “Fine. I’m sorry.”
will continue to find this absolutely hilarious, I should warn you,” Bond
cautioned. “And… well, it sort of is. Eve and I tease, but we have no interest
in sleeping with one another.”
raised an eyebrow. “Bond, if I was gay, I would definitely sleep with Eve at
the first possible opportunity. Being a bisexual hot-blooded male with a
frankly ridiculous sex drive, I’d have imagined you were quite keen on doing
you,” Eve piped up from the doorway; Q, without looking around, lifted his
middle finger in a happy salute. “Don’t be rude, Q, you’re the one who accused
me of seducing your boyfriend…”
no that’s not what I said, I said he was flirting,” Q denied, very
quickly, twisting around to fix her with an affronted glare. “I’m accusing you of finding it apparently hilarious
that I’m cripplingly insecure.”
and Bond exchanged glances, and fell about giggling.
destroy you both,” Q vowed, crossed his arms, and decided to sulk for the
I could ask for a million prompts right now! Could
you write me some Q & Moneypenny missing scenes from Spectre? They must
have known they were both helping Bond, but did he tell them, or did they just
figure it out? How pissed was Q that they’d bugged Moneypenny’s phone? Did they
decide between them that Q would go to Austria rather than Moneypenny? So many
questions! – anon
love this. Jen.
simple fact of the matter was that Q could escape more easily than Moneypenny;
Moneypenny, like Tanner, was absolutely integral in the day-to-day running of
MI6 and couldn’t be missed for a jaunt over to Austria. Q would need to
organise flights and logistics anyway, so it made sense.
welcome back,” Moneypenny said happily, as Q returned to MI6 looking rather
knackered. “You survived the flight, then?”
looked at her with sheer murder. “I fucking hate
flying, and I definitely hate Bond, and I hate getting nearly kidnapped on a ski lift of all places. I don’t like
them to start off with, let alone with would-be kidnappers.”
enjoy this even more: I think our phones are bugged.”
face froze. “Run that by me again?!”
smiled apologetically. “Yes – Spectre are everywhere. I’ve got us a couple of
burn phones, but I need your say-so…”
Tanner, you. I want to give one to M, but I’m not sure he’s on board just yet.”
was all chaos. Spectre had upturned everything; even the things that ought to
have been safe were no longer, and Q needed to run bug checks on everything
electronic he touched.
Q knew full well that his laptop was fine; the laptop – despite being a touch
antiquated – was entirely his.
Stickers and all. He knew every stroke of it, every modification. Looks were
somewhat deceiving as far as his baby went.
he said instead, “let’s get a meeting with M, somewhere low key if we can. We
also need to try and get into C’s things, I don’t doubt he’s involved in a
major way and we need to know just how far. I want to contact the double-ohs in
their various missions and make sure they’re safe now the programme’s been
nodded. “Already on it for the double-ohs, one, three, eight and nine have all
checked in. I’m worried about six, four and five should be back online soon…”
to his limits and completely on our side.”
grinned in sheer relief; Tanner was incredibly important, a lynch pin of MI6’s
workings. Nothing would work without his support.
seemed to deflate in unison as they thought, as they tried to get their heads
around it all. “I don’t know how we’re going to manage this,” Q murmured.
“They’re everywhere. What if we fail?”
cuffed him around the back of the head. “Ow.
The fuck, Eve?”
be fatalistic, or we’re definitely doomed,” Eve told him firmly.
pouted a bit, but had to concede she was right, nodded. “That hurt, by the
was rather the point,” she replied brightly. “Come on, Quartermaster.”
had to admire the woman, followed her, messenger bag clutched tightly to his
side while she strode off into the distance on truly impressive heels.