“I’m an actor not a movie star. I prefer it that way. I think when you watch big stars on screen, it’s really difficult to look beyond that very familiar persona. As an actor, you can play different characters and not be recognized. I know I’ve got parts that other bigger, more famous actors wanted. I think in some cases their fame is a hindrance because they’re too identifiable.”
I miss the person I used to be.
The flower child, with the bright blue eyes and the shimmery smile layered upon her face.
I’m tired of this girl
The girl with the broken down smile and the storm clouds in her eyes.
I miss my old friends
I traded the friends who laughed away the day with me
For friends who cause me harm
And tell me I’m no good unless I have marks up and down my thighs
I miss the innocent girl with the sun in her eyes
“I know it’s a mistake, before my feet leave the ground, I know. But the nature of my magical thinking is such that I believe, truly believe, that I’ll get away with it. Because I’m special. Because I’mme.”
who would you cast for a live action tf2 movie or show?
Fuck it I had a cough, acid reflux and insomnia, here’s the whole production and here’s a poster for it. Now here’s actually how the whole thing would go down if I had to do this:
black comedy + action show
Netflix-exclusive series because das duh shiet
separate canon from TF2′s games & comics
14+/Mature for casual violence & crude humour
Creative liberties w/ plot and characters taken
Primary focus on the administrative team more due to scheduling conflicts with getting all 9 classes on set, as a result later episodes focus less on classes/battlefield shenanigans as a “Why isn’t Respawn working?” plot unfolds towards 2-part cliffhanger season finale
Here’s my all-star-but-not-all-all-star-corner-cutting-budgeted-yet-not actor TF2 fancast:
Cristine Rose as The Administrator/Helen
Alison Brie as Miss Pauling
Bryan Batt as Mr. Reddy
Nathan Darrow as Mr. Bidwell
Tom Selleck as Saxton Hale (would’ve picked more recent actor but bodybuilding days’ resemblance 2stronk)
Aaron Tveit as The Scout
Dave Batista as The Heavy
Christoph Waltz as The Medic
Robbie Gee as The Demoman
Will Arnettas The Soldier (might need to put on more muscle)
Raphael Sbarge as The Engineer (might need to shave head)
Vincent Cassel as The Spy
Hugh Laurie as The Sniper
Everybody and their mom as The Pyro, suit is baggy enough to pass off every 5′ or so person as a recurring joke
There’s also Merasmus, Ol’ Nick, Zhanna, Scout’s Mom, Medic’s Wife, maybe Demo’s Mom, Maggie, Charles Darling (probs Cranston tbh), Redmond/Blutarch and Olivia but I can’t be assed.
Here’s how the audience would react:
Fairly positive/decent reviews from general + gamer audience but wasn’t popular enough to breach into mainstream
Had mixed response from TF2 fans who didn’t like changes to canon or wanted an animated series about the 9 mercs + the war instead; few months later Adult Swim asks Valve if now they want to do the animated series before it gets dropped again since Valve doesn’t know how2deadline
Memes for Arnett being cast as Soldier clutter front page of r/tf2; petitions are immediately upvoted to the top to re-cast with Tommy Lee Jones
Everybody wondering who Cassel is as petitions are immediately upvoted to the front page of r/tf2 to re-cast with Adrien Brody, but swiftly dies off when Cassel debuts on show
Posts en masse clamouring for a musical episode because of Aaron being a Broadway singer clutter TF2 tag on Tumblr
Heated anger about Batista being cast as Russian let alone Eurasian clutter up every dusty dark corner of the internet, even though he is Eurasian
“Who the FUCK are Reddy and Bidwell” SPUF forum threads from filthy TF2 casuals, immediately will launch intense nerd debates
Does not get renewed for 2nd season due to exceeding budget + more scheduling conflicts when the A-listers fuck off for movies, Aaron eventually lands Fiyero in the live-action Wicked, and Robbie has to bring Arsenal all the way
Due to the more critically praised Portal online movie, Valve invested the budget into Portal’s sequel rather than a 2nd season of the TF2 live action show
Now here’s your episodes of this live action TF2 travesty in Tumblr-style faceclaim GIF format:
TEAM FORTRESS 2: THE LIVE ACTION NETFLIX-EXCLUSIVE SERIES 2017, SEASON 1:
S1E001 [Pilot]: A film director is hired by TF Industries for marketing the RED vs BLU gravel wars. His initial interest changes rapidly when a RED mercenary he filmed dying re-appears just hours later. Curious, he ends up helping the RED team obtain intelligence that neither team was supposed to have - in which he learns not only about the illegal Respawn System, but also about things nobody’s supposed to know about. Helen sends her assistant secretary, Miss Pauling, as an answer to this, Mr. Bidwell & Reddy do their best to distract everybody else by showing off Mann Co.’s new shiny weapons & new fashionable hats, and RED’s Heavy Weapons Specialist becomes curious.
S2E002: The 1st monkey astronaut is killed in a faulty rocket launch due to Hale hiring the mercenaries to switch out the fuel for explosives. Bidwell, Reddy & Pauling come up with a strategic diversion to throw off the Senate’s investigations + angry animal rights activists by starting an arms race, using & selling the weapons that should have been launched on that rocket to the mercenaries. Meanwhile, Mann. Co CEO/animal wrestler Saxton Hale and his business rival/animal poacher Charles Darling take turns redirecting the animal rights activists’ attentions, while BLU’s Soldier & RED’s Demolitions Expert fight over betrayed friendship bonds that Helen profits off of even more.
S1E003: An ancient forged sword that was released under Mann Co. during the arms race turns out to be cursed as paranormal activity begins to complicate things in the battlefield. At the same time, Helen abruptly discontinues the TF Industries’ psychiatry division so Hale can settle a lawsuit from some hippies. Miss Pauling has no choice but to trace down an equally ancient magician who can lift the curse, but unless either RED’s Demo gives his other eye to him or BLU’s Soldier moves out of his apartment, it’s not happening. Either way, it’s not stopping BLU’s eccentric Medic from making deals with the magician to learn more about his ways, or Pauling forcing Plan B: flying out with Bidwell to Scotland so he can apologize to the dead ghosts he stole the sword from.
S1E004: BLU’s CEO enlists their top Engineer to develop the Engie’s grandfather’s blueprints for new BLU technology, but the man has other ideas as to what he wants to do with the tech. Engineer makes an agreement with BLU’s Medic to help develop it, despite their scientific ethical differences. RED’s Demo attempts to regain kingship over his ancestor’s medieval estate, BLU’s Soldier butts political ideological heads with the RED Heavy’s visiting sister, and Helen is fed up with Hale’s disregard for weapon quality as more of their history is revealed. Meanwhile, Reddy enlists Miss Pauling as one of Mann Co.’s hat designers & models, despite Bidwell’s protests. It goes exactly as well as Bidwell expects as productivity goes down the drain while RED’s Scout puts on his charm.
S1E005: Endangered species pop up in TF Industries’ staff’s residences, causing animal activists to protest against them again. Helen’s not in the mood for Hale & Darling’s mess to cross over to TF Industries as she confronts Darling’s wife Maggie - who’s also Hale’s ex-girlfriend. The intentions of Darling’s stunt are revealed when he offers Miss Pauling, Bidwell & Reddy jobs at his work - money-savvy Reddy is ready to accept in a heartbeat, while Bidwell & Pauling have a heart-to-heart about their bosses’ treatment towards them before they decide. In the battlefield, BLU Medic’s defection is revealed when he crosses paths with the RED Heavy, BLU’s Engineer is becoming curious as to why things are going missing without warning, and RED’s Scout gets a call from his mother about a recent engagement.
I’m a cake sitter, not an English teacher. What kind of a company doesn’t do a background check? I’m probably gonna end up with a bunch of American liars, people who are trying to escape their past… Frauds, embezzlers, mafia hit men –– I’m gonna end up chopped up and stuffed in a mattress, and that mattress is gonna end up in an opium den, where businessmen and Mongolian prostitutes are gonna have sex on top of me. Why did she say ‘oh dear’?
[ get to know me meme | (1/5) favourite female characters | Kate Gregson • United States of Tara ]
“Baby, what time is our flight leaving again? Because I’m pretty sure we are about to miss it….” Brie had been a basket case all day trying to get ready for their trip to Orlando, and she was currently sitting in the middle of Jasmine and Talisa’s room, and their clothes that were supposed to be in suitcases, were all over the floor, because she couldn’t decide which outfits she wanted to take with them, and she was also just anxious about this entire trip, since it was the girl’s first time on a plane.