miss

Morrison vampire stuff

Some Morrison worldbuilding tidbits for you:

  • vampires getting super invested in nutrition so they know how to take care of their humans, and then being horrified at what humans will actually consume:
    • three-day-old coffee
    • twenty piece chicken nuggets
    • one (1) granola bar as a meal
    • their own fingernails
  • humans lying about what they eat:
    • “How do pop rocks even work?”
      “They’re made of tiny larvae that explode when they come into contact with human saliva.”
      “… That can’t be real.”
  • the constant exasperated repitions of “human stuff” or “vampire stuff” whenever they don’t understand each other
  • humans dabbing garlic on their pulse points when they’re pissed
    • “C’mon, I’m starving, why are you like this?”
      “Are you sorry?”
      “Yes”
      “What’s the magic word, Clarence?”
      “Please?”
  • vampires that forget humans are delicate and accidentally hurt them
  • humans that act like wounded dogs over minor injuries just to watch vampires fall over themselves apologizing
  • vampires exaggerating time for comedic effect:
    • “I haven’t heard this song in forty years”
      “This came out in 2004″
      “It’s been forty years. I have aged.”
      “You literally have not.”
    • “When was the last time you did any laundry?”
      “1965″
      “Fuck you.”
  • telling vampires to “go back to your coffin” when they’re grumpy
  • humans constantly asking “how did they do this in your day?” about every single daily task
  • vampires who hoard tools and appliances from the time period they most enjoyed
  • young vampires flipping off the sun and screaming at it about evolution
    • old vampires who pull their collars up and frown behind their sunglasses
  • erroneous threats based on abilities no vampire actually has:
    • “I’m gonna show up to your wedding as a swarm of bats and shit on the cake”
My current situation
  • Me: I should be studying
  • My brain: THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA IS HERE you are sunlight and I moon DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING I want adventure in the great wide somewhere FIYEEEEEERO come with me and you'll be in a world of pure imagination I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT it's the circle of life I CAN'T FIND USNAVI!
I hope that someday, somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight, and that’s all they do. They don’t pull away. They don’t look at your face. They don’t try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms, without an ounce of selfishness in it.