misogyny is wrong


1) kanye west calls taylor swift regarding a song that he is writing and recording. the transcript of that conversation is as follows:

Kanye West: “I don’t want to do rap that makes people feel bad.”

Taylor Swift: “Umm, yeah I mean go with whatever line you think is better. It’s obviously very tongue in cheek either way. And I really appreciate you telling me about it, that’s really nice.”

Kanye West: “Oh yeah, I just had a responsibility to you as a friend you know, and I mean thanks for being so cool about it.”

Taylor Swift: “Aw thanks. Um yeah I really appreciate it, like the heads up is so nice. [inaudible] Even asking or seeing if I would be okay with it and I just really appreciate it. Like I would never expect you to like tell me about a line in one of your songs.”

Kanye West: “Relationships are more important than punch lines, ya know?”

Taylor Swift: “I don’t think anyone would listen to that and be like that’s a real diss she must be crying. You’ve gotta tell the story the way that it happened to you and the way that you experienced it. You honestly didn’t know who I was before that. It doesn’t matter that I sold 7 million of that album before you did that which is what happened, you didn’t know who I was before that. It’s fine.

Taylor Swift: “And you know, if people ask me about it I think it would be great for me to be like, ‘Look, he called me and told me the line before it came out. Jokes on you guys, We’re fine.‘ You guys want to call this a feud; you want to call this throwing shade but right after the song comes out I’m going to be on a Grammys red carpet and they’re going to ask me about it and I’ll be like, ‘He called me.’ It’s awesome that you’re so outspoken about this and be like, ‘Yeah, she does. It made her famous.’ Its more provocative to say ‘might still have sex…’ It doesn’t matter to me. There’s not like one [line] that hurts my feelings and one that doesn’t.”

2) kanye west’s song ‘famous’ is released. taylor swift’s first statement to the press is as follows: 

Kanye did not call for approval, but to ask Taylor to release his single 'Famous’ on her Twitter account. She declined and cautioned him about releasing a song with such a strong misogynistic message. Taylor was never made aware of the actual lyric, ‘I made that bitch famous.’” 

3) kanye continues to assert that he did call taylor and that she approved of the song.

4) taylor swift’s grammy acceptance speech:

"As the first woman to win Album of the Year at the Grammys twice, I want to say to all the young women out there, there will be people along the way who will try to undercut your success or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame." 

5) kim kardashian west mentions taylor swift in a magazine article months later and states that there is a video recording of the kanye and taylor conversation. 

6) taylor swift releases another statement trying to reframe her issue as being about the specific word “bitch” in the song:

“Taylor does not hold anything against Kim Kardashian as she recognizes the pressure Kim must be under and that she is only repeating what she has been told by Kanye West. However, that does not change the fact that much of what Kim is saying is incorrect… Kanye West never told Taylor he was going to use the term ‘that bitch’ in referencing her. A song cannot be approved if it was never heard. Kanye West never played the song for Taylor Swift. Taylor heard it for the first time when everyone else did and was humiliated. Kim Kardashian’s claim that Taylor and her team were aware of being recorded is not true, and Taylor cannot understand why Kanye West, and now Kim Kardashian, will not just leave her alone.”

7) kim decides to release the video of the phone conversation between kanye and taylor.

8) taylor swift releases an instagram message:

“Where is the video of Kanye telling me he was going to call me ‘that bitch’ in his song? It doesn’t exist because it never happened.” 


the above timeline shows that taylor swift has continually tried to reframe her issues with the song. at first she said there was no phone call asking for approval. then she said that he didn’t tell her about the line “i made that bitch famous”. and finally, that he just didn’t tell her about the “that bitch” part of the line. in taylor’s initial statement she said that she cautioned kanye about his misogynistic message, yet she also said that she was never told about him using the word “bitch”. her lies simply don’t add up.

please note that her issue at the grammys was that kanye was trying to take credit for her fame. however as the transcript shows taylor herself stated: “it doesn’t matter that I sold 7 million of that album before you did that which is what happened, you didn’t know who I was before that. it’s fine… i’ll be like, ‘he called me.’ it’s awesome that you’re so outspoken about this and be like, ‘yeah, she does. it made her famous.’” she perhaps more importantly also said: “i would never expect you to like tell me about a line in one of your songs." 

whether you like kanye west or kim kardashian is irrelevant. taylor swift is not the victim in this story, please don’t fall for her manipulations yet again. she lied, that is the truth.

u kno i would think that like … with how obviously and openly r/incels hate women … they’d look at what they wrote and be like “oh maybe this is why people don’t want to spend any time with me: im an insufferable irredeemable asshole, maybe i should change” but instead they look at how terrible they are and they’re like “no, it’s the women who are wrong.”

You know what? I feel bad that Sauerbrunn and the USWNT have to feel like they need to center the feelings of men to get support for their fight for equality. If your support and allyship hinges on feelings and everyone being nice to you, your support was pretty questionable to begin with. Part of recognizing your privilege is realizing that your feelings might get hurt in the process. We see this a lot when POC talk about racism and white privilege and a white person is like “You hurt my feelings! Good luck getting my support now!” You should want equality and be supportive even if the truth hurts (and nothing that’s been said is false - objectively the USWNT is the more successful program in terms of trophies). Women and women in sport have had to go through so much and told so much sexist, misogynistic BS. The USMNT should take a cue from the US men’s hockey team - who seemed far more supportive of the US women’s hockey boycott. If women stopped doing something based on hurt feelings there probably wouldn’t even be a program right now. Sauerbrunn has been such a great representative for the USWNT and the game. She was really great and open in this interview and I recommend listening.

You know, people can fuck up and they can fuck up big time and it’s not on anyone to defend shitty behavior. However, you can’t just pick one situation, take it out of context, without any knowledge of their usual behavior and throw around big words like ‘misogyny’. One of the reasons I love iKON and always will love them is bcs they always treat women with the most respect. It’s laughable that a situation where they play around like they usually do, is used against them just bcs they were having fun. People don’t know them and think they behaved like that bcs they were wearing skirts, however that’s not the case. iKON always behaves like that, they always touch each other to that extent and try to strip each other even for other stages. It’s not a behavior that was anything unnatural or unknown from them. That’s why nobody called them out for it a year ago. We only knew them like that. It’s not something they did bcs they were crossdressing, but just their natural behavior. 

But if you don’t get yourself informed about them, if you decide to not listen to fans who try to tell you what the boys are actually like, you close your eyes from the truth. Truth is they always act that way towards each other, truth is they won’t stop acting like that, truth is they support women and treat them like queens.

If you decide to judge them from an allkpop article that some iKON anti linked you to, you just listen to people who straight up lie and try to bring down a group they don’t like and make their fandom look like they support misogyny. Which is extremely wrong. I’ll provide anyone who needs it with information about iKON and I can give you a thousand examples of their support for women and respectful behavior in general towards people and each other. Sure, being respectful all the time isn’t an apology when you fucked up. However, they did not fuck up here. But you’ll only be able to know that if you look into them and know the members better than what allkpop tells you about them.





unpopular opinion time but the rhetoric painting all men as abusive and/or disgusting was a major factor in keeping me in the closet for years after i knew i was a trans man, because i was living in fear that the second i accepted my manhood, i would become that abusive and disgusting person.

there’s a big difference between separating cis and trans men because cis men are “real men” and trans men are “other” and recognizing that trans men have a different relationship with manhood and masculinity than cis men when they’re younger, closeted, and later pre-transition (or if they choose not to transition). ignoring the fact that trans men were raised differently than cis men ignores reality. we were force-fed the same misogyny as women, and despite the fact that it was misdirected that still affects us. i have many “feminine” mannerisms left over from before i realized i was trans, and later, when i was masquerading as female due to the constraints of my environment.

this isn’t to say that trans men will always experience misdirected misogyny or that this makes us “lesser men”, but when making blanket statements about men it’s important to remember that not all men are cishet white men. it’s not radical to call black men abusive or rapists; it’s perpetuating a dangerous stereotype. in the same way, these statements tell trans men that their experiences are identical to that of cis men, when that’s a ridiculous claim. we have different experiences, and they’re both the experiences of men, but they still have profound effects on who we are and how we interact with masculinity.

the trans male community suffers from a misogyny problem just like any other male community, and exempting us from rhetoric regarding misogyny is wrong. however, there’s a way to do it without forcing us deeper into the closet with toxicity. the male experience is varied, and men can be privileged as men and oppressed in other aspects. stop acting like the male experience is exclusive to those that are in the most privileged of positions.

k but makeup isnt “war paint” and pressuring women to wear makeup to be “feminist enough” is like u know shitty? and u know … materially no different from simply pressuring women to wear makeup in the first place … which is like you know what our patriarchal society does lol??? if u wanna wear makeup thats fine but like dont fuckin… pressure other women to do it. goddamn.

btw, hypersexuality specifically refers to a clinical symptom of “extremely frequent or suddenly increased sexual urges or sexual activity” which can be present as a symptom of mental illness (especially bipolar disorder) or as a reaction to trauma.  that is what it means, specifically.

so using it to mean

a) the opposite of asexuality

b) someone who prefers sex over relationships or prefers sex at all

is fucked up (and contributes to racism, homophobia, and misogyny) and just plain wrong

So, I just got this comment on Feels Like Coming Home (available now on AO3!), and I know it’s been addressed ad nauseum of late, but I’m going to put my thoughts out there.

As always, these words represent my current thinking and feelings, and I don’t speak for anyone else.

So, I hear that this is important for you. But, it’s not important for me, and I did not forget to tag it, I chose not to. I do not blame *anyone* for having any preference with respect to fic, or life in general, both with regards to the question of topping or any other choice in life. God knows, I do. @cuethetommo has heard enough of them. Actually, many of my friends have. So yeah, I do not begrudge you your preference. 

What I do begrudge is you reducing the 60K fic that I spent months on, poured my own heart into, to a question of who fucks whom. This is an explicit work, and the way things happen was actually thought about, planned out, and specifically decided upon in service of that story and those characterizations. It has meaning within the story and it’s not random.

But what about smaller one-shots that are simply PWP? Well, I won’t be tagging those either (I don’t think I’ve written a ton of them myself, and they’re not what I tend to go to in my own reading), because for me, that just isn’t what it’s about. That is a choice that I, as an author, get to make, and you are 100% within your rights as reader simply to not read things that aren’t tagged the way you want.

Perhaps this goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway, I also do not care in the slightest how authors choose to tag their own works with respect to the topping/bottoming question, and tagging of top/bottom has no impact on whether I’ll start or finish a fic.

I do try to tag trigger warnings and things that I think are important (thought tagging is really hard for me and I don’t think I’m all that good at it ha ha). But I do not tag topping and bottoming. Like I said, I understand that people have preferences. I really don’t, in this one instance, oddly enough, but I do get it. However, if you’re rigid enough that you’re unable to tolerate the uncertainty of not knowing whose what is going where, then it’s best that you don’t read my fics. If it’s that your preference is, again, so rigid, that you’re unable to tolerate reading anything else, I’d suggest that you stick to fics where it’s explicitly tagged. Which, again, aren’t mine. 

If it’s a specific trigger for you (I’m at a bit of a loss to understand how it might be, but I’m open to feedback), then again, I suggest that you avoid any works that aren’t tagged in such a way as to keep you safe. That’s what I do, and why I value the tagging system so highly. There are wonderful works that the fandom loves that I will not ever read because of my own history, issues, and yes, simple preferences. I thank those authors from the bottom of my heart for tagging. 

So, you might ask, why then do you tag trigger warnings and use the AO3 warning system as well? 

To me, there is a real difference between tagging for triggers (and yes, I do think the word is overused but I’ll go with it right now) that are going to hit people around true traumatic experiences, and something that I have only seen always billed as a preference.

Here’s an example.

I, personally, really really don’t like food fights in commercial kitchens. It’s my own personal squick. I don’t like them and often, they’re a deal-breaker for me in a fic. I come to one, I just nope out and go on my way. Do I send an author hate or leave a nasty comment for writing something I don’t like. NOPE. Do I comment on every fic before I read it, “Does this have a food fight? It’s really important.” NOPE. Do I think authors shouldn’t write food fights? NOPE. Do I wish authors would tag for it? NOPE because that’s ridiculous, that’s my own personal preference and it’s not a trigger. 

If someone can explain to me in a way that’s not rooted in misogyny and homophobia how the wrong person topping is a trauma trigger, I’m open to hearing it.

anonymous asked:

What are your thoughts on the Alpha/Beta/Omega verse?

it’s extremely nasty

it’s a really damn transparent way to force heteronormativity (extremely toxic misogynistic heteronormativity) on mlm couples (and probably on wlw ships, i don’t know how often it shows up for them). it’s basically a way to write rape and pretend it’s fine, the whole heat cycles thing gets into the territory of failing to give consent in 2 seconds flat

people use it for disgusting fetishizing reasons OR they use it instead of just writing about homophobia which makes no fucking sense. why are you imposing this fake gender hierarchy in order to write the same issues that arise due to homophobia and misogyny?

there’s so much more wrong with it. i don’t want to see it and i wish i didn’t have to

Something that really bothers me about the shows portrayal of Shireen is the fact that they really have never mentioned that she is Stannis’ heir. It’s relevant that she has kings blood when it comes to being sacrificed but not when it comes to ruling Westeros.

What pisses me off so much is that I grew up being taught by my parents to be judgemental and hate people for things such as their color, religion, gender, sexuality, hairstyle, mental stability, etc. and now that I’m older I constantly look back at everything my parents told me and think

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

Lay off Mon-El

first I would like to say, Lena and Kara would make a cute ass couple. period.

but y’all stay being rude as hell, just because he is a white cis-male.

he has changed, and it doesn’t just happen overnight. you dont just wake up different. 

yes, he lied about being the prince because Kara was not a fan of Daxom when then first met so it only made since. 

i’ve seen a lot of people say oh he was a full-ass adult, he should have known slavery is wrong, and misogyny is wrong blah blah blah. but also realize that was all he knew. he was engrossed in that environment. hatred and gbigotry is bred not born. 

also, are we just gonna ignore the fact that Kara told Mon-el that “love is hard and you have to work for it” than promptly broke up with him.

guess it aint that hard if you’re gonna give up on someone you CLEARLY love.

but whateva

also think about how he’s probably never been in a healthy relationship in his life because as a prince girls probably did whatever the hell he wanted.

he lived a privileged ass life. we know. he knows it. kara knows it 

but kara is helping him come down off his high ass horse and be a respectable person

and we’re gonna sit here at act like kara doesn’t have a savior complex, that was very well showcased when james became guardian 

It absolutely baffles me that someone in some marginalized group will tell their peers “nah, this particular thing of harassment or discrimination has never happened to ME, therefore it never happens to anyone else in this community” like cool okay except your experiences are not conclusive to everyone else’s experiences

Kotaku reported that D&D is going to gradually steer away from needless depictions of lady boobs in their monsters and the dudebros are losing their MINDS.

Naturally as soon as things stop catering to then it’s “political correctness gone wrong”.

anonymous asked:

I usually agree with you on most things but I can't get past you not believing non-binary identities are valid and real. No, not all NB identities are trans people in denial "because science". Didn't we once say bi people couldn't exist? Put simply, most in the community know it's aphobic and exclusionist radfem, TERF-Y, SWERF-Y rhetoric. It's also strange how the state of California, among other places and organizations, can even accept these identities exist and are valid and yet you can't.

If you’ve been a follower for a while, then I’m sure that you’ll have seen me say that I’m open-minded, and if you disagree with me on things, then that’s totally fine. We’re not clones, we have different ideas, and it’d be a surprise if you did agree with me all the time.

The problem that you have with this kind of ask is that you’re not giving me something new to think about. You haven’t given me a reason to at least consider a different point of view. Instead, you’ve done nothing but attempt to guilt-trip me into changing my view. And when you do nothing but guilt-trip others, sure, they might publicly change their views, but you haven’t actually changed their views. In that guilt-trip, you’re trying to frighten me into changing my opinion. 

“Mags, if you don’t change your opinion, then you’ll basically be an aphobe and a radfem and a TERF and a SWERF, and you don’t want that, do you?”

It’s transparently manipulative, and I’m actually a little offended that you think that I would fall for something so ridiculous, especially when none of those things have anything to do with the subject at hand. I mean, come on. Let’s think this through together.

  1. How does not believing in “non binary genders” equate to being bigoted towards asexuals? 
  2. Radfems think that misogyny is wrong, and every other decent person will agree with them on that one point, at least. That doesn’t mean that everyone that’s against misogyny is a radfem. 
  3. How does not believing in “non binary genders” equate to being “trans exclusionary”? You know exactly how much I genuinely support trans people, so don’t even attempt that, please.
  4. How does not believing in “non binary genders” equate to being “sex worker exclusionary”? 

As far as the “biphobia existed/s, gotcha!” is concerned, this is where your main point actually fails.

Bisexuality is a sexual orientation that has spanned history and all human cultures. Bisexuals have been forced to be closeted because of biphobia, but it doesn’t matter where you go, or in what time period, you will find examples of humans that are bisexual. (In fact, I personally believe that bisexuality is the norm, just at varying degrees, and eventually, we’ll lose the labels to simply act on personal attraction, but that’s a discussion for another time, if anyone is interested.)

However, when it comes to “non binary genders,” when you look at “third genders” across the world and through time, you find the same things over and over again. Those “third genders” were homosexuals, bisexuals, eunuchs, religious designations, trans people or people that simply didn’t fit the gender roles and/or stereotypes at the time. Old “third genders” would be considered sexist, homophobic, biphobic or transphobic today. 

To put it more simply, let’s say that we have a hypothetical “tomboy” lesbian woman.

In some cultures and time periods she would be a “third gender” for being a lesbian or being more masculine or having more masculine interests. Today, in the likes of Europe or the US, if you looked at a “tomboy” lesbian woman and decided, out of nowhere, that she couldn’t possibly be a real woman because of her sexual orientation or interests, that would make you a homophobic misogynist. 

On the other hand, if you have a bisexual woman, whether she’s a modern Italian or an ancient Egyptian or Native American – there may be different terms used, but she’d always be a bisexual woman. Far into the future, she’d still be a bisexual woman, even if the terms change yet again.

I’m not even going to bother addressing your sneer against science, because it’s more than a little embarrassing that you’re trying to enforce a belief whilst discrediting the only way that you’d get me to agree with you. 

Finally, California has just reduced the penalty for knowingly exposing a partner to HIV, so you don’t want to hold up their views as some kind of paragon of virtue. The National Union of Students in the UK redefined bisexuality to include heterosexuals that have same-sex friendships last year, too, but I doubt that you’d think that was clever, either.

If you want to believe in “non binary genders,” fine. If you want to identify as “non binary,” fine. It’s not my business. 

If you want to engage with me and have a reasonable discussion, if you want to give me new information and see where we go from there, then I’m absolutely going to give you the benefit of the doubt and be open-minded. And if we end still not agreeing, then we can agree to disagree and we can still totally be fine, no hard feelings at all.

But if you come here and try to manipulate me, if you try to throw baseless accusations at me, then I’m going to rip every last word that you attempt to use against me apart and make you look like a complete fool.

Do I make myself clear?