mismatched clothing

What if a lot of alien species didn’t actually evolve as pack species, and just adapted to living in communities out of necessity? So they can still work and live together, but they don’t have all the little instincts humans have that help them work in a group.

And they are freaked out by us.

We all wear the same clothes. It’s not a uniform— we just somehow all seem to like roughly the same outfits. We fit in so naturally with the people around us that you can use a human’s clothing to tell what country and what time period they are from. Aliens have no idea how we know what clothes are appropriate— they end up having to hire humans to act as fashion consultants after several incidents where diplomats showed up wearing mismatched clothes from various time periods and countries and looking totally ridiculous.

And what about yawning? Aliens who work on human ships say they never fully get used to hearing one human yawn and then having the whole room start yawning along with them. Or telling a joke to one human and seeing humans who say they don’t find the joke that funny cracking up anyway because “their laugh is so infectious!” It’s a common practical joke to tell new nonhuman crew members about this horrible disease humans get, where they feel tired and have an uncontrollable urge to open their mouths. It’s deadly, they say, and very contagious.

New safety procedures have to be worked out for the humans because, on the one hand, you don’t have to go around telling each individual to leave. Humans will just follow the mob. On the other hand, though, you have to be careful not to spread panic, because if one human runs, they all will, and they’ll trample anyone who isn’t fast enough to stay ahead.

Aliens hear humans tell their kids not to give into peer pressure and just get really confused. “Why would they do it if they don’t want to?”

“Because their friends are telling them to do it!”

“But why do it just because they’re telling them to do it?”

“Because they’re their friends!”

“What does that have to do with anything?”


When aliens see earth movies about people being indoctrinated or turned into zombies, it takes them a while to realise that these are horror movies because, from their perspective, that’s just what humans are like.

How is it that British wizards in Harry’s time have difficulty dressing like muggles and often end up looking odd with mismatched clothes yet 70 years prior to that Newt Scamander went to New York dressed like a fking runway model.

PROFILING GUN PEOPLE

A Reference Guide to Identify The Various Breeds of Gun People

CHAPTER ONE - HANDGUNS

-1911 People - 

>See .45 or Die! People<

“Because they don’t make a .46" 

"Back to back world war champs.”

“I’d never carry some cheap plastic gun.”

More likely to be older possibly obese.

Oddly enough, most likely to misuse the term “cocked and locked”

“Feel that trigger pull MMMMMMMM" 

"If you can’t do the job with 7 rounds you don’t need a gun.”

1911s can jam but THEIRS has NEVER ONCE failed in any way.

Most likely to use the term “Tack driver" 

"I fired a glock once, it literally jammed every shot then fell apart in my hands then raped my daughter.”

-Glock People -

Mac people of the gun world

“They just work.”

“Its not plastic its POLYMER!" 

Has a lot of passionate opinions about the arguably minor changes from one generation to another

"They never break." 

"Muh capacity" 

"Workhorse of the gun world”

“The arc is NOT ridiculously exaggerated just re-train yourself to automatically correct down it’s not that hard!”

“Its beautiful because it works”

“Well it fits MY hand just fine”

“Its not blocky!" 

"This is your safety!” >wiggles finger in your face like an asshole. 

- Kimber People -

Vegans of the gun world, will strut into any firearms conversation and proudly announce they own a Kimber Pro Raptor II and then wait silently expecting lowly peasants to applaud. 

Steers every conversation toward their Kimber

Fails to understand why not everyone can drop 1400 dollars on a handgun

Will get confused and personally offended if you don’t like Kimber

Self convinced that the outrageous price they paid is proof their gun is better. 

Most likely to be caught in a circle jerk with other Kimber owners.

- LC9/380/P  Owners -

Bought the first gun that the forum they found on google told them to. 

Wants to protect themselves but thinks guns are kind of scary, so they picked the most non-exciting gun with no sharp corners and like 12 safeties.

“Its all I need”

“My brother-in-law has one and he really liked his.." 

"Its for me and my wife to share”

“Why would I need a holster? Can’t I just put it in my purse?”

“Is the thing supposed to stay back like that?" 

"How do I get the clip out?" 

"I’d like to purchase this gun please… and a box of those really mean killing bullets for killing people in case I need to kill someone.”

- Hi Point Owners -

Most likely to have neck tattoos. 

“Ey yo, where like yo cheapest guns at?" 

"So how exactly does this ”background check" work?“

"EY BABEY come fill out this form for me!" 

"This bullshit I can’t believe I got denied!”

- Desert Eagle People -

Most likely to reference Call of Duty

“Can I see the Desert Eagle?”
>Are you 21?
“…no”

“Most stopping power of any gun!”

Did not realize Desert Eagles were this massive in real life.

Can not wait to tell the rest of his middle school friends about the real Desert Eagle he saw.

- Revolver People -

Expresses bizarre distrust for semi-automatic handguns despite overwhelming evidence otherwise. 

Most likely elderly

Most likely to pull his own loaded .38 from his pocket for comparison then become offended when you ask to unload it first. 

Thinks NAA minis are a reasonable carry gun, does not understand why anyone would disagree. 

Assures you he can nail a tin can from 500 yards away with his Single Six despite his obviously severe palsy shake.

Will go into detail about what he paid for every gun 60 years ago. 

- M9 / 92FS People -

“Its the gun the military uses!" 

Most likely to be incorrectly wearing mismatched army surplus clothing.

"What if you get jumped by 15 people?" 

Will tell you its the gun he carried in the service but strangely fail to recall what unit he was with. 

Most likely to be open carrying KaBar on his tan MCMAP belt. 

- FNH People - 

Most likely wearing oakleys and a slightly too tight under armor shirt.

Uses the word "Tactical” at every opportunity.

Everything must be Coyote Tan

Is conviced that Chris Costa video he saw most of makes makes him an operator. 

Most likely to spend most of his range time taking cool action shots for facebook. 

Has strong opinions about 5.11 pants. 

Minimum of one Paracord Bracelet 

Will regularly scan right to left, just like that video told him.

Will run imaginary pistol drills with every gun you let him see, to demonstrate to you that he must really  know what he’s doing.

- Sig Sauer People -

>See Kimber People<

“The de-cocker is NOT a useless feature!”

Muh Quality Control 

Muh Resale Value

Thinks the high price is completely reasonable. 

“I really only needed one mag anyway.”

Will justify a P220 but thinks 1911s are too heavy.

“Yes I really NEED the Scorpion finish. 

INB4 Butthurt fanboys

geneva squad aesthetics

Percy Shelley: fields of wildflowers, unruly hair, the sound of children at play, abandoned houses, crystal clear creeks, the creaking of old floors, sudden bursts of laughter, mismatched clothing, haunting legends.

Claire Clairmont: rosy hues, distant singing, white sunshine washing over the floors, fireplaces, sudden thunderstorms, old journals, the melancholic feeling of first love, the white froth of the sea, the relieved feeling after crying.

Lord Byron: late lunches, semi-lit rooms, the sound of sails snapping in the wind, the light breeze coming off the water, the smell of old books, the drop of the stomach when seeing an ex lover, balconies overlooking gardens.

John Polidori: the gleam of fresh metal, cracking the spine on a new book, voices carried through the wall, fresh dew on the morning grass, shifting shadows, suffering in silence, the rush brought on by a bet.

Mary Shelley: the smell of damp moss, fresh linens, the scratch of a pen on paper, feminist manifestos, the cold comfort brought on by graveyards, the fresh smell of fall, foreign lands, a blank journal, painful nostalgia. 

Your pronouns do not determine your gender.

Your clothes do not determine your gender.

Your titles do not determine your gender.

Your name does not determine your gender.

You do not have to experience dysphoria to be trans/nonbinary.

You can have traditionally “mismatching” name/clothes/pronouns/titles/gender(s).

There is no test you have to pass or bar you have to meet in order to be trans/nonbinary. All you have to do is identify as trans/nonbinary.

alpha & omega part ii

part i part iii

summary - anxiety loses his hoodie and then there’s a lot of drama

pairing - eventual prinxiety

word count - 1,549

warnings - angst

tags - hurt/comfort, angst-to-fluff

a/n - by popular request, here’s part two! it drifts slightly more into fan-fiction territory than realism, but considering the last sanders sides video, i’m not exactly sure where that line is anymore.

tagging - @ace-anxiety-sanders @pointless-blog-name @lampisimportant @pippa-frost @jinxed-unicorn @starrykid​ @pattykrabbies @frustratedwaffle @soft-blue-badger @extremepenguin10@sanders-sides-burnt-my-crops


Anxiety’s world is ending.

It’s crumbling to pieces around him in the form of the piles of clothes he’s tossing from his closet, which are flying across his room in dull-colored wrinkles. He shoves aside the boxes and action figures littering his closet floor, shining the flashlight on his phone across the dusty space in hopes of finding what he was looking for. The corners reflect his light back at him mockingly through spider-webs and dust bunnies, and he groans in frustration, tossing his phone at the couch as he crawls deeper into the closet space.

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anonymous asked:

Howdy naf! First ask here, I really dig your art and you as a person!! I aint so swift with color when it comes to fashion/outfits and such, i've seen you write a bit about this before but wouldja mind at all givin' some pointers for not falling into the dreaded ditch that is [horror music plays] mismatched blacks?

HAHA ok before I go off on my rant I just want to say that mismatched blacks aren’t universally seen as a fashion crime, even though I know tons and tons of people who don’t like it. There are never any rules in fashion, just guidelines, and if you end up disagreeing with me and my gothic ass that’s a-okay

but the reason I personally don’t like mismatched blacks is because I think it shows a lack of dedication. I know that sounds weird, so I’ll explain.

Let’s start with some examples of good all-black ensembles, and what the monochrome color story does to highlight the outfit.

When the blacks are all unified in an outfit, it creates sleekness and reduces the amount of distractions in order to highlight other things like texture, silhouette, and detail. 

And this is actually one of the ways you can try to avoid mismatching your black clothes, by relying on differences in texture. It’s very difficult for anyone to find perfectly matched clothes, so if you can pair close-enough tones and use enough texture contrast, it helps maintain the all-black ensemble.

A classic example is a leather jacket with a cotton shirt and denim pants

Not only does the change in texture help the outfit and retain the sense of sophistication, the texture contrast is suddenly the entire point of the outfit, bringing attention and focus to it. It has dedication and deliberate curation.

Now let’s look at a bad example of an all-black outfit and some potential edits

The original is giving us 3 separate tones to work with: a deep black shirt, charcoal pants, and an off-teal blue jacket. The similar (but not-quite-the-same) texture and tone between the jacket and pants is distracting, and not letting the unique shape of the jacket sing. And because there’s two midtones (jacket and pants), the deep black of the shirt has nothing to rest on, and ends up just looking bland.

  1. In fix 1, we unify both the jacket and pants to being charcoal, letting them stand out as a unit. The black shirt becomes a complimenting “staple” piece and plays well with both. This is essentially a good one-two punch of visual effect
  2. In fix 2, we actually embrace the color of the jacket completely, letting it be the focal color pop while the shirt and pants take a back seat. Because the shirt and pants are now secondary pieces, they work together because their closeness in tone allows them to exist in the same family. However, the texture and silhouette of the pants still stands out from the shirt, giving the outfit more interest, but not enough to fight for attention with the jacket

Both fix 1 and 2 are more dedicated to showcasing different parts of the outfit, while the original gives us 3 elements fighting for attention.

Again, this is my personal opinion, but I hope it helps you out!  (´//▽//` );;

some artist: “hey i drew jack generic-protagonist!”

[skinny soft-skinned hairless wide-eyed smiley happy boy in tailored suit]

the same artist: “hey i drew jack generic-protagonist as a trans girl!”

[massive buff hairy giant with smeared makeup and mismatched clothes that are seven sizes too small for some reason]

“haha her name is jacqueline generique-protagonista thats how trans names always work. ive never spoken to a trans person or seen one irl but i am a paragon of trans knowledge trust me”

[50000 notes commending this artist on their representation efforts]

Seokjin Scenario: Push and Pull.

Request: A scenario where you & jin are both single parents who meet a grocery where you both unfortunately fight over a meat on sale. Jin gives up upon realizing how cute you looked and you both always “accidentally” met up time to time at the grocery until you guys become friends sharing the same sentiments as single parents. An unexpected love story blooms between the 2 of you through your kids who were daycare friends. Also can the kids be 95z if its okay?Tnx*u*

Genre: Fluff / Family


How dared he? You looked offended at the hand holding the same meat package than you, but the thing was that it wasn’t any meat , it was the last one at the shelf, it was your son’s only favorite, and it was on sale nonetheless. You weren’t about to give it up just yet because you’d promised it to Jimin for dinner, and if he hadn’t insisted in getting one of those little children carts for himself  you would have arrived first than that man, he seemed apologetic but decided and you took a deep breath, smiling charmingly to him with your best friendly smile.

–Hi, I’m sorry, but I really need this for tonight – you told him, his eyes focused on you, he had nice eyes and he seemed like a nice guy too, then he smiled as charmingly as you did, nodding to your words and still holding the meat.

–Hi, I really need it too… – the man said and Jimin who had been holding onto the edge of your dress with one little hand gasped.

–Oh… but it’s my son’s favorite – Jimin was your best played card right there, if the man cared to look down at your son sucking on his lollipop how could he say no to those precious eyes and chubby cheeks? Jimin was a little angel looking from you to the man with attentive eyes.

The man looked at Jimin then and you saw his decision faltering a little. –It’s my son’s favorite too and he’s such a picky boy to eat…– the man sighed and then you saw his son, a lanky boy most probably around Jimin’s age, peeking behind his father’s legs, with his hair sticking up weirdly in some places and mismatched clothes, sucking on a carton of banana milk and inspecting Jimin interested. He was oddly cute and then you understood the man, you’d been trying to get Jimin to eat properly too and that could sometimes become troublesome with a five years old kid.

–Are we not having dinner tonight mommy? – your son tugged at your dress and Jin felt like a villain, you laughed softly and ruffled his hair with a comforting smile.

–Of course we will Jiminie, just maybe not what you wanted –

There was a sad expression taking over your son’s face and Jin sighed once again, it wasn’t like he went around checking out every mom at the super market but you were quite the sight, and if he’d seen you before seeing that meat then he would have most probably stayed frozen somewhere in the path to the refrigerators. Your look combined with your son’s cuteness was a rather strong contender. Your son was cute and Jin was certain that he got it from you, you were too pretty and he felt like a dumbass.

Keep reading

okay but Danielle is probably missing such weird chunks of knowledge like Vlad taught her how to speak and read and probably write and he taught her enough social skills to be useful to his plans but there would be so many things she hasn’t learned and she soaks up random shit like a sponge so

she could tell you everything there is to know about ants because she watched this David Attenborough special last night and did you know some ants can jump like there’s this species from Tasmania- but if you ask her what clouds are made of she’ll be like, I dunno, marshmallows?

and she could tell you every detail about her ghost core and what elements are found in ectoplasm but if you ask her to name any human organs she’ll basically stop at ‘brain, heart and stomach’ like what’s a liver?

and the first time she gets her period she has no idea what’s happening and it’s like that scene from Carrie, she thinks she’s dying, she’s on Valerie’s bathroom floor crying her eyes out begging her to call Danny because she thinks her human form is destabilising and doesn’t know what to do or how to fix it

and she has no concept of matching colours or what foods go with what so she’ll eat cereal with orange juice because they’re out of milk and I mean it’s the only other liquid in the fridge and it’s tastier than water, and she’ll wear the most garish mismatching clothes and not understand why people are giving her strange looks

she also uses a lot of words she doesn’t understand and pronounces things wrong a lot because she’s only read them in books and never heard it out loud, but the girl can pick up a new language like a pro, she can speak Cantonese and Swahili as well as she can speak english and nobody really knows where she learnt them and she can ask for the bathroom in like twelve other languages, she just picks shit up from her travels

she thinks the moon is the size of a coin and asks why nobody has ever just, plucked it out of the sky and Danny is just, HORRIFIED and six hours later Danielle knows everything Danny knows about space and she still doesn’t understand where trees come from

and she has the most impeccable manners but punctuates sentences with really bizarre swear words and phrases because she knows those words have power and makes people gasp but she’s not sure how to use them because nobody will tell her so if she wants to make a point she’ll lob a random swear at the end of a perfectly articulated sentence and think that’s just how it’s done

I just love the idea of this tiny chipper outlandishly dressed girl travelling the globe and talking to strangers on the street in whatever country she’s landed in this time, slipping in and out of three different languages, eating a hot dog with chocolate sauce drizzled on it and chatting in precise detail about how bees make honey and then asking where rain comes from like

she’s such a contradiction I love it

Ok so I was going to reblog this and add on, but I want to deviate a little from the original post, and specifically address a comment made in response to it. But the original post is here (x).

Alright so this is the comment from @mrsgilbertholtzmann I want to touch on just a little bit:

Now I’m going to start off with yes, there is absolutely truth to this comment in the sense that with it being one singular movie, where there are four main characters, this means there is limited screen time to truly flesh out individual characters and give them back stories - because plot, and action etc. This can be wonderful for fandom, look characters for us to really delve into and play with, create head cannons on their history, how they would act in certain situations etc. So no we cannot truly say what the creators of the movie TRULY intended. BUT we can work with what we are given. This is what the original post is actually about.

CANON FACTS:

1. Holtzmann is not fantastic with feelings. Her speech at the end of the movie makes this one pretty obvious straight off. It’s very rehearsed and stilted. She does not speak with easy nor comfort. 

Physics is the study of movement of bodies and space and it can unlock the mysteries of the universe but it cannot answer the essential question of what is our purpose here and to me the purpose of life is to love and to love is what you have shown me. I didn’t think that I would ever really have a friend until I met Abby and then I feel like I have a family of my own and I love you, thank you.

Two other aspects of this scene often ignored, firstly Abby’s face during the whole speech for starters, but this face right here, this is the exact moment where Holtzmann says she didn’t think she would every really have a friend until she met Abby. 

This is completely new information to Abby. They’ve been friends for potentially years depending on your views of canon timeline. But Holtzmann has clearly never spoken about her past in great depth, not enough to reveal she’d never had friends or even a good family environment.

Secondly the sound Holtzmann makes once she’s done and sits down, and the fact she won’t even make eye contact with any of the others as they acknowledge what she has said.

This is someone really uncomfortable with sharing her feelings and any potential response she receives. 

2. The majority of the movie Holtzmann only engages in conversation when it is about the science, either loosely or directly. Beyond that it’s jokes (primarily at Erin’s expense) or comments made to another character/s. Now this one is probably a little vague. But hear me out, I’m going to define conversation as being an exchange of ideas, thought, or feelings between two or more people. I’m also going to add on to that, being involved in a discussion means contributing more than a line here or there.

Now not every interaction Holtzmann has would be classed as a discussion. So just a couple of examples.

The speech we just looked at, not a discussion, she said what she wanted to say, then closed down, there was no exchange of thoughts and feelings, it was one sided.

Her first scene, where she introduces herself to Erin, other than really the opening statement, and the occasional remark to Abby. Most of this scene is Abby doing the talking.

The ghost in the subway, Holtzmann actually engages here a little more than she has thus far, but it’s about the science, the equipment she’s created and what needs to happen.

The same can be said for when they’re trying out her new toys in the alley (both times)

Holtzmann has the least amount of lines in the movie that the other three ladies. Most of her lines are short and amusing. But note when I say amusing here I mean it is amusing to us as an audience (which is a whole other thing).

3. Science is her safe place. This one is fairly obvious, its clearly somewhere she often retreats to. The movie takes place over a very short timeline yet Holtzmann has created all these wonderful toys to play with within that time. Now don’t get me wrong she’s very good at what she does, but that’s a lot of time she’s spending on this stuff. Science is also where she feels most comfortable to engage with new people. It’s where she’s happy to be open and talk more (as I just covered off.

Things Holtzmann is not:

1. A sex god - this is not canon, this is not implied at all. Feelings and sex for some are absolutely two different things. So saying Holtzmann is bad with feelings does not automatically mean she cannot also be a sex god. BUT the fact that Holtzmann is bad with feelings, and does not easily engage in conversation with new people other than science based conversations indicates that meeting and having sex with random strangers is probably not something she is doing on the regular.

2. Always knows what to say and it’s hilarious - consider what you actually find “hilarious” about Holtzmann. Think about the moments in the movie really hard. Now ask yourself this question, would you find that line, that action just as funny if you were in the scene, if it was real life. You’ll probably find if you really give it some thought, that answer is probably no. That’s because what’s funny about Holtzmann is humorous to us as an audience ONLY.

3. Makes you gay - now talk about a problematic statement right there. Now where to actually start here. So sure it’s all fun and games to say I was straight until I saw this person and now I’m gay. It’s humorous, everyone has a good laugh, and it’s overused something shocking. What you are implying is being gay is a choice, it is something that can be changed about a person. I’m going to assume that the majority of the people who will read this post would define their sexuality as something different from strictly heterosexual. Now consider how you feel about been told that your sexuality which might have taken you years of heartache, anguish, and struggle to come to terms with, is really only just a choice. It’s laughable even. Ignoring all of that though, again you’re projecting a lot of your outside opinions onto a character. If you met this awkward, admittedly attractive, science geek, in horribly mismatched clothing and coloured glasses, are you going to automatically think “well shit I never realised this but I’m totally gay!” Probably not, let’s be real.

In summary YES we can all have different head cannons of Holtzmann, or any of the other ladies, they don’t all have to be the same. We all do see different things in the movie. BUT there are some clearly defined aspects of Holtzmann’s character from the movie being actively ignored or twisted. 

Synaptic Gap

Originally posted by namjoonie00

Kim Taehyung/V x Reader - Fluff, Angst, Sexual References

Words: 4.6K

Summary: (F/n) (L/n): perfect student, perfect grades, can’t seem to find the perfect person for a relationship. Kim Taehyung: university’s infamous fuckboy, longest relationship was two days, finds it difficult to commit to a relationship. Two people who long to be in a lasting relationship cross paths in one eventful party in an attempt to fall in love and change themselves.

Requested by anon!

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vanityfair.com
The Magical Costume Clues You Missed in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Oscar-winning costume designer Colleen Atwood takes us behind the scenes of the latest J.K. Rowling fantasy world.
By Julie Miller

Atwood says that the biggest challenge for her on this film was figuring out the look for Eddie Redmayne’s character, Newt Scamander—the “magizoologist” and protagonist of this Harry Potter spin-off world. Because “he was really the new face of the film,” and the franchise, whatever costume Atwood chose would end up on screens worldwide for years to come—not to mention billboards and merchandise…

“In this film, the girls get to change clothes once when they go into the club. But on the principle cast, there’s not a lot of costume changes,” Atwood explained. “In this case, the costume for Newt has to say who he is very quickly, because you can’t evolve their character through costume changes like you normally would do…It was about getting the silhouette right.”

“He had to be able to get up and down off the ground quickly and do a lot of things in the coat,” she continued. So the designer loosened the silhouette of the typical 20s topcoat to give the character more fluidity. “I felt like he was a bird or one of his fantastical beasts. I wanted him to look regular in the world to pass, but also to be exceptional in a sort of subtle way.”

Atwood achieved this by costuming Newt in a deep peacock color—juxtaposed with the brown of his waistcoat, and the similarly dull, warm tones that were in vogue during that period. In addition to the mismatching, she made his clothes ill-fitting enough to add a bit of quirkiness to the character. She also tricked out the coat with a special wizarding feature: “We put in all kinds of pockets, where he could keep potions and cures and, of course, some of his little friends. Most of the secret pockets are inside his coat, so [audiences] see very little of them, but they all have a reason for being there.”

Barnes’ Books - chapter 7

I may have got a little carried away this evening. 4000 word chapter carried away.  Sorry. No update tomorrow as I’m out!

See the Masterlist for previous chapters!

For the next week, I rejoin the real world. I get up, put on work clothes, sit at a computer, answer phones, drink communal tea, eat a sandwich, type, go home.  I talk to new people, go to a new place, earn some money. It’s good for me.

I hate it.

I know I sound like a brat, but I’ve loved being able to spend the day at the bookshop, before James’ accident. I loved the happiness books can bring, I loved talking to people, making coffee and washing up, helping unpack boxes, chatting to James. I’m trying to make the most of this week, it’s good CV-fodder, I do meet some nice people but it’s not me. And every day, while I’m inputting data, although I’m working hard, my mind is wandering. I’m thinking about the day I found the book for that woman, I’m thinking about curling up with Steve in an armchair. I’m thinking about making James laugh. I’m thinking about how sad Bucky looked.

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