misha collins could stop by and do our dishes for us now and then

I’m home sick for the second day in a row so I compiled a list of 25 AUs I’d love to write but will definitely never get around to doing. If one of them catches your eye, please message me for permission before you use it.

• Our kids got in a fight at school and now we’re both sitting on a bench in the office feverishly defending our children’s honor when would ya have it there’s an earthquake drill and we have to set a good example for the students so we’re both ducking under the principals desk and I know we’re supposed to be super pissed off at each other but whoa, you’ve got some really nice eyes AU

• You still have six months before your 21st birthday and you’re trying to flirt with me in the parking lot so I’ll buy you beer but I’m totally onto you and it’s not going to work AU

• I work at a high end pet store and I swear to God if you ask me one more question about our organic cat treat selection I’m going to shove an overpriced, hand crafted, vegan made squeaker toy where the sun don’t shine AU

• I was low key trying to impress you with my awesome skills at the bar by tying a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue but I accidentally swallowed it and no, I don’t really need the Heimlich maneuver but there you go giving it to me anyway AU

• You’re a long haul truck driver that stops into the diner I work at whenever you pass through town and we totally hook up every time in the bathroom when I’m on my break and it’s been going on for about a year now and I don’t even know your middle name but God, I’d really like to AU

• So you’re the asshole that likes to jazzercise furiously in the apartment above mine AU

• We both booked vacations during hurricane season because I’m cheap and you’re reckless and now we’re boarded up in our hotel with a storm going on outside but you’re funny and cute and it almost makes up for the fact we have no electricity AU

• Yoga isn’t really my thing but I recently discovered I can’t touch my toes anymore because I haven’t technically worked out since 10th grade gym class but what the hell, I have a Groupon and I’ll try anything once, so here’s hoping the instructor is hot AU

• I’m the head chef at an upscale restaurant and some dickwad sent their steak back three times so I left the kitchen to give said dickwad an earful because it’s personal now when oops turns out I was yelling at the wrong table all along and I’m pretty sure no amount of complimentary dessert is going to make up for the ass I just made out of myself AU

• My boss said I had to participate in our annual lame ass Christmas work party pot luck and holy shit, some poor sap from another department is having an allergic reaction to one of the ingredients in the dish I brought and I was awarded the distinct honor of stabbing them with their EpiPen AU

• We’re on a camping trip with a bunch of our friends and you don’t own a tent so you’re staying in mine with me and as long as you wear like ten layers of pajamas and sleep as far away as humanly possible I should be able to white knuckle it through the weekend AU

• I have a lot of bad karma to burn off so I decided to fill an empty parking meter but you caught me in the act and now insist on buying me a coffee AU

• A million years ago I posed nude for an art class because my power was about to shut off and I needed the money but now I’m a respectable electrician so imagine my surprise when I came over to your house for a consultation and found an ass naked oil painting of myself hanging up on your wall AU

• It’s our 10 year high school reunion and I haven’t heard from you since I confessed my undying love for you in the back of your senior year book AU

• I have the world’s biggest crush on the host of my favorite radio talk show and I call in all the time just hoping for the chance to talk to them but now that my persistence has finally paid off and my call made it through I have absolutely no idea what to say AU

• You threw up on the Ferris wheel at the amusement park I work for and I’m the lucky duck that gets to clean it up AU

• You spent the last four weeks sculpting your final project for our pottery class whereas I last minute slapped together an ashtray and because I didn’t wedge the clay properly it blew up in the kiln, which destroyed your beautiful masterpiece and I am legitimately afraid to walk to my car after class because I have this feeling you’re going to disembowel me with a needle tool once I step foot in the parking lot and to be honest I kinda deserve it AU

• My niece lost a tooth while she was staying the weekend with me and she insisted on setting up a trap for the tooth fairy and I totally forgot about the bucket of water on the door frame when I ordered pizza from you please don’t tell your boss AU (yes, this is a babysitter/pizza man AU. I had to squeeze one in here somewhere)

• We both got hired to work at a hardcore scary haunted house and I’m one of the guides and despite the fact that I take dozens of groups through the house every night you still manage to scare the ever loving fuck out of me every single time AU

• You just graduated hairdressing school and I’m one of the first people to sit in your chair and you kinda fucked up my hair but you’re looking at me with this beaming sunshiny face and I don’t have it in me to crush your hopes and dreams AU

• I’m going through a really weird time in my life and you caught me digging around in a dumpster and it’s a really long story but if you’d like to stop and stay awhile I can totally spill my guts to you AU

• I hired you to paint my house this summer and boy, do you look like you could use a glass of lemonade AU

• I’m at a wedding and I can’t just not dance to the Cha Cha Slide but when I went to Take It Back Now, Y'all I accidentally bumped into you and you spilled the platter of appetizers you were carrying all over both of our nice outfits AU

• You’re a sushi chef and I’m a commercial fisherman and you wait for my boat at the docks every morning to buy my catch of the day and even though it’s just part of our jobs I secretly find it kinda romantic AU

• You’re really hot and I’m really lame so my brilliant scheme to strike up a conversation with you is to leave stray socks or pairs of underwear behind in the dryer for you to discover and bring back to me but apparently your boundaries are just as skewed as mine because you keep absorbing them into your own wardrobe and I’m starting to run dangerously low on undergarments AU

Meet the Family

Summary: a not so quick drabble about misha meeting your family for the first time since becoming a couple. 

Pairing: Misha x Reader 

Warnings: Fluff

Originally posted by deansurvived

It was a long time coming. Your parents knew you had been seeing someone new and it was getting serious. You had met during an interview for the magazine you wrote for and the flirtatious tone he had set during off camera made it easy to fall for the blue eyed triple threat. Actor, father, humanitarian. How could you say no when he asked you to coffee the next morning.

Coffee dates turned into brunches, which turned into dinners. Great times with a casual, humorous, soul. Meeting Misha’s children you thought would have been awkward, as Vicki wanted to meet the woman who stole her ex’s heart, however the children loved you and West took to holding your hand, while Maison curled into your lap. Vicki smiled, gave you a friendly hug and wished you the best. You had received her approval.

You were nervous when it came to introducing Misha to your parents. They were older, very protective, and after your tumultuous break up with your ex, they were worried you’d never find someone with the same values, who would love you for the woman you were. You were 34 to Misha’s 40 and while the addage ‘age ain’t nothing but a number’ haunted you, you felt more stable with Misha than you did with others your own age. He was comfort, light, and humor, packaged in good looks and brains. If you loved him, then your parents would too.

Hand in hand, you both approached your childhood home. Letting yourselves in, you called out that you were there and heard shuffling coming from the kitchen. Your mom, wearing her apron, stained with homemade red sauce, broadly grinned, opening her arms to you. 

“Hey, Mom,” you hugged her back, tears pricking at her eyes, “I’ve missed you too.” She held you at arms’ length to get a good look at your overall state and knew by the sparkle in your eye and the genuine smile that you were smitten with the dark haired, blue eyed gentleman, by your side.  She turned her attention to Misha,

“You must be Misha,” she held out her hand to which he placed a kiss on her knuckles with a slight bow, causing her to blush.  He handed her the bouquet of wildflowers you both handpicked on your drive along with a bottle of her favorite zinfandel. She graciously thanked the both of you and ushered you to the living room calling for your father,

“Donald, your daughter and her friend are here,” that was your mom, everyone was your friend no matter what you insisted they be called.  

“Be right out,” your father called from somewhere deep in the house.  Knowing your father he had been watching you two step from the car as soon as you pulled into the driveway.   He was always protective like that. Watching you as you went and came back home, directing your vehicle from the driveway like you were 16 again. Can’t teach an old dog new tricks, with this one, you thought to yourself.  Misha caught the smirk on your thin lips and wrapped an arm around your shoulders,

“Penny for your thoughts,” he whispered to which you just nudged him in the ribs playfully, 

“Ask me later, love,” your eyes raised in surprise as you watched your father walk out of the master bedroom dressed in slacks, a pressed shirt, and loafers. 

“My someone got all spiffy,” you ran into your father’s arms and he pecked the top of your head, “it’s not everyday your daughter decides to pop in with someone special, what’s it been, YN, three months?”

“Dad,” you urged and your mother placed a calming hand on his back, “you know my job in Vancouver takes me all over the country, this was the first break I’ve had in months.”

“Can’t blame a guy for loving and missing his youngest, can you?” he shrugged in defeat and Misha extended his hand,

“Mr. YLN, it’s an honor to meet the man YN has spoken so highly about,” it appeared to appease your father as your ex wasn’t as smooth a talker, more of a grumbler who had to be told to be social.  Shaking his hand firmly, your father ushered you both to sit again, insisting you both relax.

“How’s the jetlag treating you both,” your mother inquired, as she brought out a tray of fresh made iced-tea.

You spoke about the flight, the layover, and the drive until you felt your mom and dad were satisfied and anticipated the next step; which one was going to ask Misha to “come see my pride and glory” which just happened to be the pristine backyard, or “care to taste my sauce”, but it was quite comical as they all fell into an easy rhythm when both of your parents spoke up at once. Misha looked from your mother to your father and chuckled, 

“I’d love to taste the sauce, Mrs. YLN, and how about afterwards, you can show me the backyard, Mr. YLN?”

“Don,” your father nodded in approval, “Mr. YLN was YN’s grandfather.”

You watched as Misha joined your mother in the kitchen, sending a wink your way. Misha was easy to please and the kitchen was like a second home to him. You’d spend your days and some nights cooking with West and Misha, while Maison would be on the sidelines with a pot of cold water, tossing in raw vegetables. Your father found this to be the perfect time to pick your brain.

With his voice barely above a whisper, he asked, “Is he good to you, YN, treats you right?” Taking your father’s hands into your own, you nodded, “More than right, Dad, he’s more than I could ask for, more than I deserve,” your father shook his head, “I see the way he looks at you, YN, it’s him who thinks he doesn’t deserve you.” “Go save him from your mother,” he teased you, “you know how she gets with her cooking.”

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