misgendering cw

can we just talk about the fact 

that Mutsuki, a nervous kid whose family was murdered by ghouls, threw himself into a taxi that he thought was being driven by a ghoul to save a girl, and is then assaulted and misgendered by that ghoul in a horrific terrifying moment…
but still fights back and defends himself despite knowing that he is weaker than most of his coworkers. And even after getting the shit beaten out of him he gets out of the car and tries to will his kagune to appear so he can continue fighting and helping his team. 

I fucking love this boy so much. 

anonymous asked:

imagine trans girl bucky who keeps it a secret all through the war but one day post ws Steve makes a comment about how her "hairs getting pretty long, we should get you to a barber" and that's when she comes out to steve and he just smiles and says "well then lets see if we can get natasha to trim up those ends". Later she comes out to sam by telling him the story and his reaction is "you should get bangs, you'd look hot with bangs" and of course natasha knows because she knows everything

Natasha puts pretty much all her fears to rest immediately, smiling and squeezing her shoulder and telling her it’s all right, nothing’s going to change, come on, let’s find you something to wear that’s a little bit less Steve’s old baggy clothes. It’s almost too easy, and she’s on-edge for the first few days, especially when Nat gently asks if she can talk to Pepper about it. But when Nat and Pepper sweep her up, one on either side of her and linking their arms through her arms, and insist that they’re going to find something absolutely perfect for her to wear, she lets herself relax.

It’s harder with Steve, because she’s known Steve basically her whole life. So when he slings his arm around her shoulder, tugs a little on the ends of her hair, and laughs out a, C’mon, Buck, this is getting too long, you really gotta do something about it, she panics.

“I - I’m growing it out.”

“Really? What for?”

And the words tumble out of her in a rush, because she doesn’t know how to lie without making him ask even more questions, and Nat and Pepper have been so sweet and supportive and Steve - he’s Steve, he could never be anything but good to her. Still, she’s shaking by the time she finishes the explanation - almost a tirade in her efforts to make him understand - with a soft apology for lying to him. And Steve takes a deep breath and reaches out and hugs her, pulling her close against his chest and stroking her hair and making soft, soothing noises as he reassures her that, “It’s all right, you’re all right, I’m right here for you, and I’m always gonna be right here for you.”

And when she finally stops shaking and he lets her go, he tilts her chin up and smiles at her and says, “You’ll look so pretty with long hair, but you should ask Nat for advice on how to cut it in the meantime.”

She laughs because she and Nat have been discussing possible haircuts for nearly a week now and she has a small gallery of photos for when she finally goes to get it done.

From there, it’s a little easier. She doesn’t come out to Tony so much as he organically absorbs the fact from her changing presentation and the fact that every time he opens his mouth to say something, either Natasha or Pepper appears and stares him down until he starts using the correct pronouns. Bruce makes the switch with a smile and a, “Congratulations,” and the only question he asks is whether she’s changing her name. (She will, someday, once she’s decided on what she wants. She gives Bruce the one she was most considering, and he uses it consistently until she tells him that she’s not feeling it as much as she thought.)

When she comes out to Clint, he grins at her, gives her a rough, one-armed hug, and announces, “When you’re ready for it, I’ll hook you up with my endocrinologist! She’s great, you’ll love her,” just a little too loudly in his excitement.

She tells Sam over text-message because he works in DC during the week, and the wait for Friday, when he comes home for the weekend is agonizing. When the quinjet finally touches down, she meets him at the door in a sweater and skirt Pepper picked out for her, with Steve hovering a little anxiously behind her. His grin doesn’t waver as he leans in to kiss her on the cheek and says, “Hey, girl, you look beautiful. What’s for dinner?”

She doesn’t realize she was holding her breath until she sighs it out in relief and throws her arms around Sam’s neck.

Intimate partner abuse looks much the same whether you’re transgender or cisgender, but abusive partners may use particular tactics against trans people, says Alexis Champion, a training manager at the Georgia Coalition Against Domestic Violence (GCADV). 

‘While the types of violence are certainly shared no matter what type the relationship is, there are specific tactics of abuse that could be used against transgender survivors,’ she says. 'Some examples of these include the abusive partner threatening to ‘out’ their partner’s assigned gender at birth. The abusive partner could also deny the victim access to medication or health care, especially if the victim is in the process of hormone treatment therapy. The most devastating abuse can be verbal and emotional—ridiculing the victim because of their gender identity, refusing to call them by their chosen name or gender pronoun, criticizing their appearance, or calling them sick or crazy.’

—  For Transgender Abuse Survivors, Help Is Even Harder To Come By | Sarah Hosseini for The Establishment 

anonymous asked:

Imagine tans woman Bucky who was totally comfortable with herself pre war and is trying to find her way back to that. (With Steve's support because that's what awesome boy friends do.)

It’s far from the only lie that Hydra ever told her. Far from the worst thing they ever made her do, but it has burrowed in under her skin, seeped into her bones - everything is wrong and she can’t remember how to make it right, can’t remember what it felt like to look into a mirror and be satisfied with what she saw.

It’s far from the only lie that Hydra ever told her, but it’s insidious.

-

The others are trying to help, she knows that. Bruce buys her expensive perfume and Pepper recommends an experienced dysphoria counsellor and Natasha offers to do her makeup, and it drives her crazy - there is no room for perfume in the life she leads, soaked in the smells of sweat and blood and gun oil. She will not trust a stranger - a doctor - with these intimate truths about herself, these painful secrets that can so easily be weaponised. She does not need to paint her face. 

She crops her hair short, like it was in the photos, and tells herself that progress is supposed to hurt.

-

But through the haze of confusion and wrongness there is Steve - Steve who used to trade his lacy frocks for her pleated trousers, who used to cup her jaw with its shadow of evening stubble and remind her she was beautiful.

Bucky does not find herself beautiful now - she is corded muscle and cold killer instinct, a select-fire weapon jammed on automatic, lost in a sea of memory she barely recognises.

But Steve is still afloat beside her. And with Steve, she knows, she can find her way back to shore.

You’d think that m-spec binary trans people who are attracted to men and women would have the highest acceptance rate within the community of all trans people. They can’t be accused of stealing gayness (gay binary trans people), and they can’t be accused of hating and rejecting gayness (het binary trans people)–whichever binary gender you think they are, they’re definitely attracted to that gender.

M-spec identity can’t be taken away by mere misgendering. It’s a wildcard that would let a group of trans people be seen as full members (“SGA”) rather than a tacked-on afterthought (“…and trans”). And there are cis people–cis gay people–who see the existence of a trans person who cannot be dismissed as straight as a threat.

It’s no coincidence that m-spec trans people, and m-spec people as a whole, are erased. It’s no coincidence that m-spec identities are mocked and deliberately misunderstood–queer and bisexual, our oldest terms, are under relentless attack from certain segments of the community. It’s no coincidence that trans people are never, ever allowed to stand fully within or fully outside of gay-dominated nonstraight communities.

Monosexism is not a coincidence, and monosexism is cissexist at its core.

Ive been saying Mutsuki was trans since the beginning and it looks like i was right hell ya trans rep! 

Buuuut now that means im going to have to deal with: 
1. Ignorant people using cissexist language and misgendering them
2. Transphobic people misgendering them and making gross transphobic jokes and comments. 

*sighs* 

basically if you don’t want to be either of the above: 
1. Don’t use cissexist language. Dont say “they’re a girl??” or “haha I knew they were a girl!!” or similar statements. So far Mutsuki has been identifying as gender neutral or a guy (considering pronouns usage). Respect that. Don’t misgender them because we found out they use a binder.  

2. Don’t make jokes about them “actually being a girl”. Thats gross as hell don’t do that. 

3. Don’t say that “they are female but identify as ___”. Mutsuki is just whatever Mutsuki is. Whether they are nonbinary or a trans guy thats what they are. Just because they have breasts doesn’t make them female. It makes them a nonbinary person/a guy with breasts. 

4. Don’t suddenly change your pronouns usage for them to she/her pronouns. So far we have seen gender neutral and masculine pronouns used for them. Keep using those until told otherwise by canon (aka from the characters mouth themselves). 

5. And finally: If they are nonbinary/a trans guy DONT and I repeat DONT decide that “nah im just gonna say they are a girl”. Dont do that. Its misgendering and its gross and if you do that to a fictional character then you’d probably do it to a real trans person to and just. Dont. Do. That. 

And finally things to do: 

1. DO continue using they/them or he/him pronouns for Mutsuki. 
2. DO continue to call them a guy or nonbinary until we are told otherwise. 
3. DO recognize the fact that having breasts does not automatically make you a girl. 

Thats about it. Thank you. Keep being cool TG fandom! :) 

On Pronoun Swaps

“This character never has gendered pronouns used for them so I only use they/them.”
Great!
“This character never has gendered pronouns used and it is my headcanon that they use neo/nounself pronouns.”
Nice!
“This character is canonically cis but I headcanon them as trans/nb so I use different pronouns.”
Hell yeah!
“This character is canonically trans/nb but I don’t like that so I misgender them.”
You need to Stop™

2

Hey y’all.

Sommat I wrote was put in my college’s Women’s Studies Dpt. March Newsletter. It started as an angry essay here on Tumblr, so if you want to check out the actual publication you can see the .pdf by clicking here.

My work is on page 7. The original (and unedited) post is here for those of you who cannot use the photo or .pdf format.

anonymous asked:

I think you don't understand autogynephilia. When a real lesbian describes her fantasies, she talks about how hot her partner is. When a trans lesbian describes his fantasies, the focus is on himself and how sexy he is. His partner becomes a faceless prop, an abstraction who's only purpose is to reinforce his femininity. This is scientifically established, look it up. Transgender sex is inherently narcissistic, and it can never be healed until he turns his libido outward.

I was hoping you’d take me up on my encouragement to direct your passion towards the plight of endangered fish. But okay. 

As a “real” lesbian, um, I do in fact have sexual fantasies that are about me and how sexy I am? ‘Being sexy’ is a really common sexual fantasy for people of all genders and sexual orientations? I don’t want to share private information but of the other cis gay women whose sexual fantasies I know, “being intensely attractive” is in fact the most common one and there are plenty of women who pretty much exclusively fantasize about it. 

And don’t most peoples’ sexual fantasies feature faceless props? I will confess that I don’t usually invent a college major and crippling personal doubts and complicated home life for the imaginary people who feature in my sexual fantasies. I pretty much start with ‘so imagine there’s a person and she wants me’. Most women, cis or trans, want to feel sexy and fantasize about the desirableness and attractiveness and femininity of their bodies. It’s just that when cis women do it you don’t care and when trans women do it it’s ‘autogynephilia’. 

I’m not sure why I bothered, but I did go look it up. I assume you are referring to Blanchard’s transsexualism typology, which proposes that all trans women are either Straight Trans Women who can be dismissed for one stupid reason or Lesbian Trans Women who can be dismissed for another. I’m not even sure where to start with that, but for one thing the majority of the trans women I know are bi or pan. I’m also super not sure why we’re asking people who aren’t trans to explain what motivates trans people. Maybe we should get our understanding of an experience from the people who actually have it? 

Admittedly the psych community sucks at that. But even within the scientific community Blanchard isn’t taken very seriously, let alone reflecting a consensus. This is literally a couple of transphobes taking something both cis and trans women do and telling the trans women that when they do it it’s because they aren’t women, and counting on our culture of silence around women’s sexual fantasies to not contradict them.

anonymous asked:

Do you have any tips on dealing with internalized transphobia? Because I'm a trans guy (non-passing at that) & I still have trouble understanding that someone can be trans & not pass & I have thoughts that are really disrespectful towards trans people & nonbinary people. I think it's because of my upbringing, I never say any of these out loud & actively defy any transphobic thoughts I have, but I hate having them myself & they make me dysphoric. So maybe they're intrusive thoughts at this point?

In my experience, it helps to when you have those thoughts, take a moment to correct yourself. Remind yourself that it’s not a correct statement you’re thinking, and then repeat in your head what IS correct.

Example:
Bad thought: “I can’t believe (trans masculine person) still wears makeup; it’s a girl thing/they must be a girl”
Correction: “Trans people can wear whatever they want and it doesn’t invalidate their gender. (Person) is brave for embracing gender nonconformity through makeup as a trans person.”

Bad thought: “(DFAB nonbinary person) is with a girl now, they must be a lesbian”
Correction: “unless (nonbinary person) is woman-aligned or identifies with womanhood and identifies that way, they can’t be a lesbian. They are a nonbinary person who loves a girl, and that’s it unless they say otherwise.”

It takes some time to unlearn bad thoughts and hurtful language, but it’s a great first step that you recognized the problem. It’ll take time; I’ve been out for over four years and I still say/think transphobic things about myself and at times find myself thinking it about others. We need to just take a step back and remember that these thoughts aren’t true; they’re knee jerk reactions to a transphobic upbringing.