misgendering cw

Thou plague me: wickedness, thy true form, dysphoria.


O happy dagger! My breasts thy sheath; breasts, no, that cannot be, these cannot belong to me.


I am haunted by body parts that are not mine.


Dysphoria. 

I long for the days I do not feel your cruel bite, stinging into a part of me that has nowhere to cower. But cower I do - I take baths with bubbles because I learned the hard way that if you scratch at your chest, the chest that cannot belong to you, if you scratch at it long enough, it will bleed.


Marc Antony orates that good is oft interred with one’s bones. I look down and I see my wide hips and wonder how good can be interred in bones that aren’t mine. If I die now, these bones will not be mine. These bones will never be good enough. Do I have to wait for death to be good? 


How can good be buried harmoniously with deceit? If my bones are excavated, an archaeologist will unknowingly toss ‘it’s a woman’ over their shoulder, with a gentle look at my wide hips.


You say God made me perfect, and that he doesn’t make mistakes.


I’ve never been perfect, but the only mistake is the ferocity with which society tightens its grip around my neck.


Woe is the noose braided with expectations:


Vagina equates woman, Breasts equate woman, Uterus equates woman.


Woe is the gender binary which within I am restricted. Woe says the voice that these constructs constrict.


It’s a strange feeling. A feeling so personal and intimate, so completely intrinsic, you cannot describe it to someone. 


This is tears in the bathroom reading texts from people I thought supported me. This is biting my tongue at the dentist, at the grocery store, when I meet old friends, extended family, because they don’t know. This is talking in third person to get used to using my pronouns, because if he misgenders himself that gives everyone else permission, right?


This is chopping off my hair and shopping for chest binders at two in the morning and accidentally coming out to my mother.


This is sobbing into my pillow.


This is being triggered by the flash of my reflection in a stranger’s phone case, someone making an offhand comment about the size of my feet or the pitch of my voice, walking next to someone who is taller than me.


But triggers don’t tell you how long it will last, how hard you will fall, what will be at the bottom when you do.


What venom will seep into my bloodstream, will it be ice or fire that burns my skin, I just don’t know - it doesn’t make sense,


Will it fit together, will it be jaded and choppy, will I struggle over just
choosing simple words?


How do I tell someone, that if my body is a temple, then the temple constructed for a goddess belongs to another deity? The architecture expects Aphrodite, and refuses change, though everything I am refutes goddess. 


I am no queen, I am no goddess, but I deserve a crown. I deserve a temple.

—  the crown i wear now does not fit / AJR

anonymous asked:

Calling Milo's conduct "random cruelty to people, who are not even especially selected for being ‘on the left’" seems off the mark; the "tranny" you quoted him mocking was targeted for claiming to be a woman and demanding (and suing a university to gain) access to women's bathrooms while still choosing to present as a man. I can't imagine a non-SJW transperson doing that, and regardless it's still targeted based upon the target's conduct and their petty impositions on others, not upon identity.

1) The woman in question was not ‘still choosing to present as a man’, she was not passing for a cis woman, but people do not need to earn the right to be free of mockery and bullying by looking like a sufficiently convincing cis person. Mockery and bullying are wrong all the time. 

2) If my university weren’t letting me use the women’s restrooms I would absolutely file a title IX complaint.

3) If I couldn’t use the women’s restrooms I would not consider this a trivial problem; it would make it practically impossible to attend a full day of classes, it would make lots of routine situations into sudden humiliating emergencies, and it would absolutely be a serious barrier to my ability to participate in what the university had to offer. 

4) As I just said, bullying people is wrong. But if there were behavior that would make using a huge public platform for vicious targeted bullying acceptable, I sure fucking hope the standard for that behavior would be higher than ‘filed to get permission to use the women’s restroom’. 

5) My using the women’s restroom is not a ‘petty imposition on others’. It does not affect others. They are perfectly capable of going their whole lives without having a single opinion about my using the women’s restroom. The students at U-Wisconsin mostly had done so; the complaint was quickly resolved, the student got to use the bathroom, and no one else’s life was meaningfully affected in any way until Milo decided to take tremendous offense on their behalf.

I do agree with you about one thing, though. This wasn’t random bullying. Random bullying would be if Milo just looked out in the crowd, saw a student, and decided to say they were so disgusting an excuse for a woman that he would almost still fuck them. That would be random cruelty. 

This was targeted cruelty, and the target was selected not for being on the left (there are actual leftist student societies at U-Wisconsin; if he had wanted to select a leftist it would have been really really easy to do so) but for being vulnerable. Usually bullies have to guess, at first, where your sore spots are - is it telling a jeering crowd they’d fuck you that scares you? Is it pointing at your face and egging the crowd on to laughter! Is it racial slurs? Is it telling you you’re the reason your father’s an alcoholic, is it insinuating that it’s a shame your suicide attempt didn’t succeed -

- yeah, see, at first bullies have to guess. They say all of those things and they see what cuts deepest, and then they can keep returning to that. But if someone went through the pain and danger and exhaustion of transitioning, you already know something you could use to bully them with. You already know that being called a man was so deeply painful and unpleasant that this person risked a great deal to start the process of being seen as someone else.

And that’s why Milo picked her. Because he is lazy and a bully and he knew how to hurt her. It had nothing to do with her politics, or he’d have mentioned them. It didn’t have anything to do with title IX; Milo complains about ‘the way liberals always operate, using the government and the courts to weasel their way where they don’t belong’ at the exact same time as he uses the government and the courts to get into places where he isn’t welcome (and, to be clear, it is appropriate to ask governments and courts to make sure you have access to your legal rights; that’s what they’re for). It was about her identity. It was about her identity and the fact he could hurt her with it. That’s why he always picks vulnerable people and pretty much never picks people who are actually in a position of power and pushing for an agenda he objects to.

talesofidiocy  asked:

Hello there, you awesome Tumblr person! I noticed you did Dancetale stuff, and I'm interested in the AU. Could you please give me your headcannons for Dancetale Napstablook, since no one ever seems to talk about him? Thank you!

Dancetale-Napstablook:

- Dancing is hard when you don’t have feet. But somehow they manage it, mostly by just swaying in one place. No matter what song it is that’s playing, somehow they manage to hit every note just right.

- Some of their tears are tear-shaped, some of them are music note-shaped.

- They like to sing along with their own battle theme, though it’s just a very soft “oooh”-ing.

Evocation / Transmutation (TAZ fic, Lup ‘n’ Taako)

Lup gave Taako the gift of fire.

The first relative they were passed off to was an aunt named Saebler, who did the costumes, staging, and makeup for an acting troupe. Under the touch of Saebler’s clever hands, they became different children. She made charcoal into eyeliner to bring their deep dark eyes into sharp relief, and crushed beetles and beeswax into stains for their lips.

To Aunt Saebler, it was a game to keep the children busy. To Lup and Taako, it was magic.

When Taako put on the right makeup and the right costume, he wasn’t some annoying kid underfoot – he was an actor, a spectacle, a source of delight for everyone in the villages they passed through. And when Lup put on hers – subtler touches than Taako’s, but powerful all the same – the people around her saw the fire of her truth burning inside her, and didn’t put it out with the wrong words, the wrong spaces around her body.

The acting troupe traveled north, and though the weather grew cold, Lup and Taako refused to take off the dresses they’d patched out of spare bits of fabric from Saebler’s costume-making. In a town called Iskryn, Saebler turned them out into the churchyard of the temple of Azuth to learn magic from the clerics.

“Fuck, it’s cold,” Lup said, watching the lacy hem of her dress soak through with snow. “Why are we here instead of the caravan?”

“I think ol’ Saebler wants to go pick up guys at the tavern,” Taako observed. “Which is fine, I guess, but it does leave us… here.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

You know people with BPD are incredibly likely to eventually abandon you in favor of a shiny new toy, right? People with BPD are basically 100% guaranteed to eventually get sick of you and drop you like a hot potato with little to no warning. I hope your partner didn't pressure you into supporting them with this baby, because you could screw yourself over for the next 18 years when they finally decide they're sick of you

I’ve ignored about ten of these messages, and I’ve had enough. I don’t like to respond to these type of messages, but I’ve fucking had enough.

People with BPD are not ‘basically 100% guaranteed’ to be abusive, or to leave you. You can fuck right off with your bullshit. I’m my own bloody person who would never be pressured into having a baby, so jot that down.

I love my husband, and none of the bullshit you’re spewing will ever change how I view him. He’s incredible and amazing and so so brave. He makes me happier than anyone ever has - ever will - and you think you can come into my ask box and accuse him of being abusive? 

Just…fuck off, yeah? 

anonymous asked:

imagine trans girl bucky who keeps it a secret all through the war but one day post ws Steve makes a comment about how her "hairs getting pretty long, we should get you to a barber" and that's when she comes out to steve and he just smiles and says "well then lets see if we can get natasha to trim up those ends". Later she comes out to sam by telling him the story and his reaction is "you should get bangs, you'd look hot with bangs" and of course natasha knows because she knows everything

Natasha puts pretty much all her fears to rest immediately, smiling and squeezing her shoulder and telling her it’s all right, nothing’s going to change, come on, let’s find you something to wear that’s a little bit less Steve’s old baggy clothes. It’s almost too easy, and she’s on-edge for the first few days, especially when Nat gently asks if she can talk to Pepper about it. But when Nat and Pepper sweep her up, one on either side of her and linking their arms through her arms, and insist that they’re going to find something absolutely perfect for her to wear, she lets herself relax.

It’s harder with Steve, because she’s known Steve basically her whole life. So when he slings his arm around her shoulder, tugs a little on the ends of her hair, and laughs out a, C’mon, Buck, this is getting too long, you really gotta do something about it, she panics.

“I - I’m growing it out.”

“Really? What for?”

And the words tumble out of her in a rush, because she doesn’t know how to lie without making him ask even more questions, and Nat and Pepper have been so sweet and supportive and Steve - he’s Steve, he could never be anything but good to her. Still, she’s shaking by the time she finishes the explanation - almost a tirade in her efforts to make him understand - with a soft apology for lying to him. And Steve takes a deep breath and reaches out and hugs her, pulling her close against his chest and stroking her hair and making soft, soothing noises as he reassures her that, “It’s all right, you’re all right, I’m right here for you, and I’m always gonna be right here for you.”

And when she finally stops shaking and he lets her go, he tilts her chin up and smiles at her and says, “You’ll look so pretty with long hair, but you should ask Nat for advice on how to cut it in the meantime.”

She laughs because she and Nat have been discussing possible haircuts for nearly a week now and she has a small gallery of photos for when she finally goes to get it done.

From there, it’s a little easier. She doesn’t come out to Tony so much as he organically absorbs the fact from her changing presentation and the fact that every time he opens his mouth to say something, either Natasha or Pepper appears and stares him down until he starts using the correct pronouns. Bruce makes the switch with a smile and a, “Congratulations,” and the only question he asks is whether she’s changing her name. (She will, someday, once she’s decided on what she wants. She gives Bruce the one she was most considering, and he uses it consistently until she tells him that she’s not feeling it as much as she thought.)

When she comes out to Clint, he grins at her, gives her a rough, one-armed hug, and announces, “When you’re ready for it, I’ll hook you up with my endocrinologist! She’s great, you’ll love her,” just a little too loudly in his excitement.

She tells Sam over text-message because he works in DC during the week, and the wait for Friday, when he comes home for the weekend is agonizing. When the quinjet finally touches down, she meets him at the door in a sweater and skirt Pepper picked out for her, with Steve hovering a little anxiously behind her. His grin doesn’t waver as he leans in to kiss her on the cheek and says, “Hey, girl, you look beautiful. What’s for dinner?”

She doesn’t realize she was holding her breath until she sighs it out in relief and throws her arms around Sam’s neck.

anonymous asked:

Rabbit, sweetie, im so sorry you had to deal with being misgendered for as long as you did. I promise I wouldnt have thought less of you if you'd come out sooner, and i want you to know how strong you are and how proud I am of you. You're the most wonderful daughter i could have asked for, I wish I could have told you that to your face in canon. - Peter Walter 1st

anonymous asked:

Imagine tans woman Bucky who was totally comfortable with herself pre war and is trying to find her way back to that. (With Steve's support because that's what awesome boy friends do.)

It’s far from the only lie that Hydra ever told her. Far from the worst thing they ever made her do, but it has burrowed in under her skin, seeped into her bones - everything is wrong and she can’t remember how to make it right, can’t remember what it felt like to look into a mirror and be satisfied with what she saw.

It’s far from the only lie that Hydra ever told her, but it’s insidious.

-

The others are trying to help, she knows that. Bruce buys her expensive perfume and Pepper recommends an experienced dysphoria counsellor and Natasha offers to do her makeup, and it drives her crazy - there is no room for perfume in the life she leads, soaked in the smells of sweat and blood and gun oil. She will not trust a stranger - a doctor - with these intimate truths about herself, these painful secrets that can so easily be weaponised. She does not need to paint her face. 

She crops her hair short, like it was in the photos, and tells herself that progress is supposed to hurt.

-

But through the haze of confusion and wrongness there is Steve - Steve who used to trade his lacy frocks for her pleated trousers, who used to cup her jaw with its shadow of evening stubble and remind her she was beautiful.

Bucky does not find herself beautiful now - she is corded muscle and cold killer instinct, a select-fire weapon jammed on automatic, lost in a sea of memory she barely recognises.

But Steve is still afloat beside her. And with Steve, she knows, she can find her way back to shore.

anonymous asked:

Do you have any tips on dealing with internalized transphobia? Because I'm a trans guy (non-passing at that) & I still have trouble understanding that someone can be trans & not pass & I have thoughts that are really disrespectful towards trans people & nonbinary people. I think it's because of my upbringing, I never say any of these out loud & actively defy any transphobic thoughts I have, but I hate having them myself & they make me dysphoric. So maybe they're intrusive thoughts at this point?

In my experience, it helps to when you have those thoughts, take a moment to correct yourself. Remind yourself that it’s not a correct statement you’re thinking, and then repeat in your head what IS correct.

Example:
Bad thought: “I can’t believe (trans masculine person) still wears makeup; it’s a girl thing/they must be a girl”
Correction: “Trans people can wear whatever they want and it doesn’t invalidate their gender. (Person) is brave for embracing gender nonconformity through makeup as a trans person.”

Bad thought: “(DFAB nonbinary person) is with a girl now, they must be a lesbian”
Correction: “unless (nonbinary person) is woman-aligned or identifies with womanhood and identifies that way, they can’t be a lesbian. They are a nonbinary person who loves a girl, and that’s it unless they say otherwise.”

It takes some time to unlearn bad thoughts and hurtful language, but it’s a great first step that you recognized the problem. It’ll take time; I’ve been out for over four years and I still say/think transphobic things about myself and at times find myself thinking it about others. We need to just take a step back and remember that these thoughts aren’t true; they’re knee jerk reactions to a transphobic upbringing.

god the hunter x hunter wiki article on alluka is so awful transpobia cw

There is considerable confusion about Alluka’s gender. Two of Alluka’s brothers, Illumi and Milluki, refer to Alluka as their brother. But Killua, the closest brother of Alluka, specifically states that Alluka is a “girl" and refers to Alluka as his sister multiple times.This inconsistency can be explained by Killua’s intimate and understanding bond with Alluka, hence he would know and care that Alluka is mentally female, versus Illumi’s cold and dehumanizing attitude towards Alluka. While Alluka is most likely biologically male, Killua’s interactions show that Alluka’s psyche may be female.

For the purposes of consistency and convenience, in this article, Alluka shall be referred to as being male until there is any concrete evidence to the contrary in the manga.

the…

what?

even beyond the transphobia, that makes no fucking sense from a "there’s not evidence either way” standpoint. You’ve literally outlined  that the only evidence for her being male is people who HATE and DEHUMANIZE her that refer to her as brother

And the evidence for her being a girl is Killua, the person who canonically knows her best, as his sister.

SO YOU ARE LITERALLY ADMITTING YOU ARE USING THE TERMINOLOGY OF SOMEONE WHO IS “COLD AND DEHUMANIZING”

FOR “CONSISTENCY”

BECAUSE THERE’S “NO EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY

WHEN THE EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY IS THAT SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY INTERACTS WITH AND CONSIDERS THE CHARACTER HUMAN CALLS HER A GIRL

Like even if I’m not aware enough to pick up what’s happening here is an abusive family misgendering a trans girl while her brother doesn’t, which is, you know, is the absolute only way to interpret the text that makes any sense…

Even when you even throw that fact away,  it’s literally Illumi and Milluki’s word vs Killua’s.

That the only evidence you have either way if you’re not taking Alluka’s presentation into account (which would be valid and also commendable since presentation doesn’t always correlate to gender identity and ideally what you wear or how you look shouldn’t be gendered. But if you DO take it into account, it doesn’t even go against anything- it only weighs more in Killua’s favor because Alluka's presentation is very much what our society perceives as "feminine”. She wears a dress and uses what are considered “feminine” speech patterns in Japan,)

Even from the totally bullshit “well the manga isn’t being concrete about what her gender is” argument Killua is objectively the more reliable source of evidence here. His perspective makes the most sense as concrete evidence, as he is a protagonist of this manga (therefore someone we are supposed to typically side with) who actually spends time with the character in question and doesn’t dehumanize her. There is no evidence pointing to Illumi and Milluki’s word being more reliable.There is evidence for the OPPOSITE since they are presented as UNRELIABLE CHARACTERS.

So it would be more “consistent” and more backed by “evidence” to take the world of Killua. If you were actually worried about consistency and evidence.

But you are not are making the decision to go with the “evidence” of a perspective of  canonically unreliable, abusive and dehumanizing characters, even though the opposing perspective is from a more reliable character.

Because it’s somehow more “convenient” to dehumanize the character as well. (it’s not, all you have to do is use a different pronoun).

If you used “they” for Alluka because there were conflicting pronouns within the manga from different characters and that’s just *SO CONFUSING*, that would still be a shitty and incorrect decision, but it would at least be consistent with this whole fake “WE’RE JUST DOING THIS BECAUSE OF LACK OF EVIDENCE IN THE MANGA” spiel. But you couldn’t even do that.

Because the fact is, logic has nothing to do with this. Evidence have nothing to do with this. Neither “logic” or “evidence” or “consistency” or “convenience” back up a “he” pronoun. Only a deep and abiding fear of calling a trans person by the correct pronoun does. So at least be honest about why you’re doing this.

A List of People in the LGBT Community/LGBT Safe Spaces Who Have Made Me Feel Uncomfortable/Unsafe:
  • A cis lesbian in my old lgbt group who said that the community should focus all their resources towards marriage equality, despite me pointing out that it didn’t do shit for trans people, and argued that rights would “trickle down” to us
  • The entire lgbt group, who yelled at me to stop being “mean” to aforementioned girl when I said that meanwhile trans people were dying
  • An ally in that group, who talked about how she experienced lesbophobia because she had short hair
  • A cis gay man in that group who never once referred to me as anything but she
  • An ally in that group who commented loudly about my breasts being attractive, despite me talking about wanting top surgery, and groped my ex’s chest without consent 
  • A cis bi girl who somehow was in charge of a trans group who made a big deal about how she was “able to” date her trans boyfriend because she was bi
  • ANOTHER cis bi girl who did the exact same thing 
  • My NB queer ex, who, among other forms of abuse, manipulated me into not transitioning because they liked my chest/body like it was
  • Pretty much all gay men who won’t shut up about how much they hate vaginas
  • Basically all lesbians who won’t shut up about how much they only love vaginas
  • A cis bi girl who was really interested in me until I said that I wasn’t comfortable calling her my girlfriend after only talking for a bit, because I’m demi and wasn’t sure if I was attracted to her, and then called me fake and yelled at me
  • A straight trans woman who kept telling me I was “turning her les” because she liked my chest, despite me telling her repeatedly that I am not a girl and that my chest gives me dysphoria
  • An NB lesbian who has said that I have no place in feminism and don’t experience misogyny because I’m “a transmasc” (even though I have no plans to EVER present as exclusively masculine) 
  • A pan girl who acted like she should get a cookie for being willing to date me because she’s into “hearts not parts” 
  • Not a single ace or aro person 
  • Jesus Christ guys why are you acting like there’s nobody getting harassed/hurt by people you’re willingly letting into the community already 
  • There are shitty people of ALL genders and orientations why on earth would you shut out an entire group of people because a handful of them have said shitty things have you LISTENED to half the gross transphobic things the cis gays and lesbians are saying