miserable and worthless

The player on center ice

A Check Please Soulmate AU


Yes, another one. This is a one-shot.

Warnings: time-travel. Don’t try to make sense of it, it’s just fluff.


Sometimes, your soulmate came back in time to give you a pep-talk. Not that you remembered who they were and what they said, but the feelings remained. 

This story is set during Bitty’s first year. 



Eric was about to quit hockey. He would quit hockey, then quit Samwell altogether, and go back to Georgia his tail between his legs and prove right every single person that said he wasn’t strong enough for such a manly sport.

Jack had chewed him out again- in front of everyone.


(more under the cut)

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Scandal -Mercy Review

This episode, I’m telling you. Scandal is so damn good right now, everything about it, is just perfectly played. The characters foiling one another, the disillusionment of power. Wonderful. I literally can’t get enough of scandal right now.

We start the episode with Olivia waking up, slightly disoriented and confused as to how she has found herself back at the White House but then she turns over and she sees him sleeping beside her. And suddenly it all makes senses. It wasn’t a dream, for one moment Olivia was granted this moment of bliss. The soft music playing in the background as Olivia watches Fitz sleep, this uninterrupted view of him, though it only lasted a minute it was everything gentle and warm that Olivia needed to feel and you can see that Olivia missed sleeping next to him. Can we imagine Olivia chocking back the tears as Fitz hands her the shirt that is only reserved for her. This symbolic moment of wearing something that belongs to him, it’s as though sleeping next to him wasn’t enough, and Fitz too has removed the physical barriers (his shirt) leaving himself open to Olivia so that she knows the sincerity of his heart and his truth. 

Originally posted by mrsfefeninja

The moment was simple but it was every bit meaningful. You see, I’m happy they didn’t dive into Olivia and Fitz’s reunion because it’s not really one just yet. They have much to talk about, and Olivia has yet to find herself in the amidst of chaos but these brief moments with Fitz have changed Olivia and no one can see it clearer than Rowan.

After waking up to Fitz, Olivia putt on her same clothes but just placed her hair up to see good ole ‘dad’, but it appears to be the next day as evidenced by the breakfast platter scattered throughout the small room. Olivia spent all day and night with Fitz even though the world was crumbling down around them. Immediately Fitz comes into the bunker where Rowan sighs heavily annoyed at Fitz’s presences and Fitz picks up on that moment, and makes sure to kiss Olivia with Rowan watching them. 

Fitz was flexing his muscle but it’s more than just a petty moment. It was a obvious and intentional FU to Rowan. You see, Rowan has made it his life mission to destroy the possibility of Olivia and Fitz. He has purposely moved himself to be in the center of the relationship and he has been successful but every time Rowan thinks they are done, Fitz comes back and so does his influence over Olivia. Kissing Olivia was an obvious point that he is around and this time he’s not going anywhere.

In 4x08, Olivia rejected Fitz touching her or kissing her because she was worried about being disloyal to Jake for wanting Fitz, but we know Olivia couldn’t resist the moment to have Fitz to herself and she kissed him with wild ambition. The fact that Olivia let Fitz kiss her in front of her father, knowing that he despises Fitz and remembering what Fitz told him (the way she taste  ), shows growth and accepts from Olivia’s part. She once used to deny Fitz’s touch in fear but while she was surprised by the action she did not refute but kissed him back much to Rowan’s disgust.  Anybody watching knows that Rowan will retaliate and punish Olivia for choosing ‘him’. I loved this scene yet I hated it for so many reasons. Rowan is visibly shaking his head with disapproval and such venom in his eyes and it’s all directed at Olivia because she didn’t obey, because for one second she decided to do something for herself without worrying about the consequences. Rowan brings Paris and Zanzibar as a obvious dig at Olivia and her past with her mom and the island where Rowan placed Olivia after he had FItz’s son killed. Rowan is a despicable person. Fitz decided to make it clear to Rowan that he is still a prisoner though he is able to walk, but throughout this moment it needs to be noted that the only one in control was Olivia. Olivia was also flexing her muscle when Rowan tried to leave and the guards blocked his exit, but every time Olivia opened her mouth to speak, Rowan would cut her off yet Fitz never did. The difference between a man who loves and values her versus a man who feels ownership and possession. Olivia already said that between her father and Fitz, that Fitz would lose but now i’m wonderfully if she still believes this to be true. 

  After meeting Peus for the first time, he makes it clear that Jake is no longer a suitable candidate as vice president , but my question though is when has he ever been? Olivia and Jake are at her apartment and it’s dark in the room quite a contrast is it not. Jake begins talking about how they can get through this, and frequently uses ‘we’ when talking about the future of them teaming up and taking down Peus especially ‘this being their chance’ since Rowan is gone. Olivia never said a word when Jake was talking up until she mentioned Rowan not being gone, and guess what he’s not. Rowan’s influence over Olivia is still heavily embedded in her DNA and it is something Olivia must deal with soon. When Olivia told Jake in so many words that Fitz has Rowan, he immediately started laughing at the actions and Olivia just mumbled that they would get through this while nursing her glass of wine and Jake taking a sip of his beer. Olivia and Jake are drinking their respective drink preference but let’s not forget that Olivia has openly disdained the taste of beer yet we have seen numerous times Olivia sipping scotch and to add this moment we find out later on that Fitz built a wine cellar in the White House filled with the most luxurious wines known to man and we all know who the wine cellar was really for. *deep breathes* *don’t cry* With Jake laughing at Fitz having Rowan emprisioned, you can see Olivia’s awkwardness regarding that topic all together. Olivia wasn’t going to bring up Fitz and she shouldn’t have to, what Olivia does in her personal life should be her business not every Tom, Dick, and harry’s.

Originally posted by n-wordbelike

Chile, this is going to be bad. Olivia’s sister brother going to cry and shame her and we already know Rowan is in the bunker practicing his monologue that doesn’t make sense so let’s just skip to the good part and forgo any huckleberry charlie quinn because I could take less of them on my screen, but how cute of Quinn to pick Charlie, maybe Olivia too will make her decision once in for all.

Olivia managed to pull off a fake bomb threat and clear Mellie from real bitch. DAMN. This moment when everyone is around and working to fix the situation is amazing. This is scandal at it’s best all the players circling around trying to find a solution to their problems, smells like defiance all over again, which Marcus doesn’t know anything about…meanwhile why is Marcus actually there?  Olivia brings Rowan to help and the minute he set foot in the residence his eyes land on Fitz and never left. Rowan wants to humiliate Fitz by making him beg for his help which is futile because he’s worse off then any of the others but Fitz swallows his pride and asked for help all while looking at Olivia. This is not a moment of weakness though Rowan was trying to prove it to be so, Fitz is man enough to swallow his pride for the sake of others something Rowan is not capable of doing. 

So Rowan just came up there with the sole intention of shaming and demeaning   Olivia and Fitz. Mellie is crying about how her and Olivia should have never ran for office of course placing the blame on Olivia as if she doesn’t have enough guilt, but Cyrus cuts her off and was like yo ole betty crocker ass was just for it a minute ago when Olivia advised you not too. Everyone is talking over one another but every time Jake speaks up he is automatically voiced out because he has no voice, but it isn’t until Fitz commands everyone to stop that Rowan brings up everyone in the room as being ‘worthless’ including his daughter but not him because he is the king of all kings. Rowan’s patriarchal bull shit is for the birds. Rowan is the coward trying to run but it’s really about how powerless Rowan truly feels that causes him to attack the one person truly showing his power and worth.

This mofo still believes he is running something when his ass is literally confined to a freaking room, attempting to run away like a coward because he is “smart prey”

Rowan’s problem is that Fitz is physical and emotional threat to the hold he has over Olivia, and the power he once had like Cyrus said. Rowan ruled the underworld and now Fitz is ruling the upper world and has him a prisoner without his dinosaurs. Jake, Russel, they were all appendages of Rowan used to seek and control Olivia in the one place he can’t. Rowan has brought men in Olivia’s life as means of seeking to rule every aspect of her life even one as personal as her sexual life. But it’s not about sex. In a matter of minutes Rowan was capable of diminishing  Fitz’s unselfish act of love by reducing it to a ‘wrinkled dollar bill.’

Originally posted by bled

Fitz saved Rowan’s life because Olivia’s life is worth more than anything else this world could possess, what Fitz did was an unselfish act of love. Fitz just witnessed Olivia’s willingness to sacrifice herself for Rowan and this is how he shows his appreciation to his daughter, by reducing her to a whore, a stripper who is selling her body to the highest bidder. As Fitz is yelling at Rowan that Olivia begged him to spare his life, Olivia’s eyes fall on Rowan and you can see this longing to be appreciated by her father, but he will never appreciate her because he doesn’t respect Olivia. Which Fitz calls Rowan out on by demanding that he shows his daughter some damn respect.

Originally posted by whatabigpairofgifs

Let’s us go back to the start shall we? Olivia was going to go to jail for her father for many stupid reasons but Olivia loves him that much that his worthless miserable life is worth more than hers but Fitz, only Fitz stopped Olivia from making the worst mistake of her life. And it was only Fitz who stood up for Olivia when her father shamed her once again for sleeping with Fitz and this wasn’t just them by themselves but in a room filled with all of her peers and coworkers; THAT is how much RESPECT Rowan has for Olivia and guess what, it was only Fitz that had enough of this verbal abuse. I am so tired of everyone shaming Olivia for loving who she loves, regardless of Fitz being married or single no one will ever approve of their coupling just like the AU. When Rowan told the room that Fitz chose to spare him as a way of getting into Olivia’s bed once again, no one was upset about how their personal relationship was once again outed, but all they cared about was themselves. The camera pans on Mellie who looks confused and slightly hurt and of course Choke who looks at Olivia with his judgmental stare, as though he is just now putting the pieces of the puzzle together. As a finale dig Rowan once again refers to Fitz as his father Big Jerry throwing cash at a stripper. Everyone is upset and Olivia calls for a five minute break to regroup but as everyone scatters to take their leave, Jake and Mellie stay as Fitz moves to comfort Olivia who now denies his affection. At first I was put off with Olivia but it is obvious to see that much has happened in a short period of time and to add to the chaos, her entanglement with Fitz has been risen without them actually having a moment to figure out what it all means. Rowan will never approve of Fitz because he is someone that he is unable to control, Fitz is reminder of the power he has just lost, this has nothing to do with love and I hope and pray that Olivia sees this for what it is. No matter how much she loves him and wants him to love her back, Rowan will never approve unless she obeys every command he makes. I need Olivia to open her eyes and remove the blinders that is her father, he is not weak, or old but still the same ruthless monster he’s always been. Again Rowan had a moment of happiness with Sandra but for some reason whenever Olivia chose Fitz she is weak, stupid, a whore. I’m so tired of Rowan and Jake projecting their thoughts onto Olivia as a means of being ‘honest.’

Thank you Shonda, for the beautiful juxtaposition between Fitz and Jake. After Olivia shrugged him off understandably  after the horrifying moment, Fitz shares a drink with David who wonders why he just can’t find a nice women who likes cooking and being supportive, not a domestic terrorist, but Fitz chides David and reminds him that it was those women who made him into the man he is today, he wouldn’t be the Attorney General if it wasn’t for those women just like he wouldn’t be the President. Let us take this moment to appreciate what Fitz is saying, he was just shamed and humiliated in front of everyone for loving Olivia Pope and instead of being angry at the storm heading his way, Fitz is talking it up with ease about how a strong women makes you work for them, i.e. Olivia Pope. Fitz begins to tell David about the ‘headband’ women who are cookie cutter perfect, who likes going to parties and pretending to be happy about being in the shadows but all Fitz wants to do is tell these ladies is to wake up and find themselves. Something Olivia is trying to do right now.

Originally posted by maturityageofatimelord

Fitz tried to turn Olivia into a ‘headband’ gang in 5x09 but he’s since then worked on himself. He’s not trying to turn or make Olivia into something she’s not (i.e Rowan, Jake) Fitz is completely and totally supportive of all of Olivia’s endeavors. Fitz wants Olivia to go out there and find that speckled dream of her’s, whereas Jake wants Olivia to live with him at his craigslist shack and settle on being mediocre or normal as though Olivia Pope is a normal person to begin with. Rowan on the other hand is threatened by Olivia’s power and influence so much that he has to demean her in order to be powerful, yet Fitz is a man completely in touch with his masculinity that he is not threatened by the hell that Olivia will bring but welcomes it. The gentle smile on Fitz’s face as he tells David ‘If she loves you, she can be any tornado she wants.’  Fitz isn’t worried about Olivia loving him, he seems confident and assured that Olivia is in fact still in love with him, he’s not pinning or whining to Olivia for denying his affection unlike Jake, but he’s assured and welcomes the chaos  Olivia will bring to his door step because that’s his tornado and if it helps her conquer what she needs to then he will clear the land just so she can twirl through it. This man is everything and I can’t seem to describe this beautiful specimen enough. 

Excuse me.

While we have Fitz appreciating and valuing Olivia’s worth, we also have jake sulking in a chair, and out of all that happened in that room earlier all he wants to know is when did Olivia and Fitz start sleeping together.

If this boy don’t stop this damn foolishness. Instead of asking how Olivia is doing after being humiliated by Rowan like a normal person would he decides to add to Olivia’s shame by asking Olivia if all of this is because of Fitz, Olivia stumbles on the question and Jake seeing that moment decides to twist the knife even further by telling Olivia she is crazy for doing the same thing over again when she knows how it’s going to end. 

Originally posted by realitytvgifs

Let me tell you something about learning my friends. How can you expect to change if you don’t do it over again? How can you say you have learned if the action is not repeated, so screw you Jake. The reason why Rowan approved of Jake is because Jake is an extension of him, knowing just the right words to hurt Olivia and shame her for doing something outside of the book of Rowan. Jake tells Olivia that he isn’t the answer, very clearly alluding to Fitz not being the one to save and fix Olivia. But Jake’s jealously and pettiness is really disgusting because he’s shaming Olivia for picking Fitz instead of picking him like he’s been wanting her to do for the past four years.

Jake has been using this same tactic, never learning, and never changing. Fitz isn’t the answer to Olivia’s problem but you are. Right Jake? Out of all that has happened you are still sitting there and telling Olivia that she doesn’t belong here, and that she should look elsewhere more importantly at him to fix her. 1) Fitz is literally packing them bags to leave the White House so i’m not sure why Jake is bringing Fitz up as in the White House when this has nothing to do with Fitz and everything to do with what Olivia does for him. This false pretense of being concerned for Olivia is utter bullshit because he kept his mouth shut throughout  Rowan’s dicklogue. Jake is so transparent with his disdain for Olivia sleeping with Fitz that Olivia is quick to read Jake for filth once again, reminding him of why he is a poor substitute for Fitzgerald Grant; he’s weak, pathetic, and needy.

How many times does Olivia have to tell you that she doesn’t want you. I thought she made herself clear in 5x18 but she had to remind you once again of why you two would never work out. Jake is married, yet he has found it appropriate to shame Olivia for sleeping with Fitz who is single. Why do these men feel it is their business to know who and what Olivia is doing? Fitz is single and divorced and still Olivia is being belittled and demeaned but if Olivia was sleeping with Jake then it would be okay. 

Jake at his shack waiting for Olivia.


Rowan and Jake only care about what Olivia does and gives to them not how they make her feel. Like father like son. But let us clap for Olivia telling Jake that she doesn’t have time to coddle whatever he is feeling because right now there are more important things to do then pacify Jake and stroke his bruised ego. For instance their is a man who is single handedly trying to take over the country and control Mellie like the puppet she is. So yes, Olivia check his ass.

Originally posted by bobs--burgers--flipping

Olivia is handling this situation and while she did go back to command in the end with the bad ass comment about not taking Olivia Pope it was effective and beneficial as Mellie called Luna Vargas her VP which is shocking to say the least and highly unpredictable but effective to gain support after Cyrus finally rejected the White House after having a moment with Teddy Roosevelt’s portrait. But Olivia and Abby teaming up and look at Real Bitch and deciding what to do with her is amazing but rest assure that Peus will be coming for them.

I just don’t know what to do with myself with scandal. My wig is scalped, my edges are gone, my throat is hoarse, and my loins are ovulating. Scandal is not letting down but just getting better and better each episode which only reminds me that we are close to being done with season. Which will make me have a panic attack.  This episode was infuriating and as evidence by the promo for next week we are continuing were we left off. 

Grab your seatbelt kids cause it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

Until Next Time, Muse.

A little Story

This awesome piece is done by @iluvharrypotterr a spectacular writer!

‘She is so beautiful.’ I wish I could say that to her, but I can’t.
Everything about her is beautiful.
From her long brown hair to her perfectly polished nails. Every day, when I see her, she smiles at me, shows off whatever outfit she is wearing, but then stops. A frown replaces her perfect smile. Some days, this doesn’t happen, and her smile never leaves, but some days, she starts throwing insults at me. She stares at me, long and hard, her blue eyes filling with tears. I don’t know why she does this, but it hurts me, it hurts me because I love her but she doesn’t love me. Today is one of those days. She stares at me, glaring, pure hatred is all I see in her eyes.

“Ugly.” she suddenly states. “That’s all you are. Fat, ugly, stupid and annoying.” As the words leave her mouth, I wish I didn’t love her. ‘How could she be so cruel?’
 The rest of the week follows, the same thing happens. She looks at me with a smile, one that could light up the room, then suddenly her mood will swing and she will hate me. I wish I knew why she hated me, but, after today, I don’t believe I will ever know that answer. She is crying waterfalls. I want to hug her, tell her everything is alright, but I can’t. She looks at me, stares deep into my soul and just glares.
‘What did I do wrong? Please, tell me.’ She kneels to the ground and laughs quietly.
Normally I would love her laugh, but not this one. This laugh is different. Usually, her laugh sounds angelic, like a melody, her laugh is my favorite thing to listen to. Right now, her laugh is…sad, almost painful.
Her body quivers with each little chuckle. Her head faces the floor, her arms wrapped around her stomach. She sits up and looks at me again. Her eyes are red and puffy, her cheeks are wet and she looks miserable.
“You are worthless,” she says. “You will never be good enough for anyone.” She slowly stands up, her legs wobbly and a sad smile on her face. She looks away from me and walks over to her desk. She picks up a rock, that she had been using as a paperweight, and she turns back around to me. Her tears flow faster down her face.

She speaks again, but her words now come out as choked sobs, “People would be better off without you.” She holds the rock tightly in her hand, the sharp edges cutting into her hand and drawing blood. I want to take the rock from her, stop her crying, but I can’t. She wipes her face harshly, not doing much to stop the tears. She holds the rock up and stares directly at me, there’s no emotion in her eyes or on her face, none except the tears pouring out of her eyes. In a split second, she throws the rock at me. I cannot dodge the rock, I have no means of protecting myself, so I take it…and I shatter.
The sound of me shattering echoed through the room. As pieces of me scatter on the floor, her cries get louder. There’s a loud knock at the door, followed by the urgent cries of her mother and father, pleading with her to open the door. She turns around, picks up the Mp3 player that rests on her bed.
She puts her headphones on and plays her music loudly. My vision starts to fade in and out.
‘This must be it for me.’ I can still see her, taking a seat on the floor against the door. She picks up a piece of me and holds it in front of her face. She smiles a little and closes her eyes. I am so close to her face, I can feel her breath against me. As my vision fades slowly, I see her put the piece of me to her wrist. “Goodbye,” she whispers and then my vision fades completely. I didn’t get the chance to tell her that I loved her, but I guess it doesn’t matter, because who could love a mirror?

anonymous asked:

Could I have the espada hearing their s/o's heart beating up close for the first time? I bet it'd be so strange for them. You're the sweetest, mun q 3 q <3.

(o゜◇゜)ノ Heyyyy, a fellow believer in the “Hollows literally lack hearts” headcanon!! (Actually, my hc is that it’s still there, just dead and cold and unbeating. Also, since they’re lacking hearts of their own, there’s an instinctive drive towards the sound of a human’s. Sort of an unconscious way of seeking out their own missing humanity.)

Starrk: 

-While he’d technically been aware that humans had those things inside of them, actually hearing one is completely different. Something unplaceable about it is so alive he can hardly bear to listen. 

Halibel:

-Of course, she was aware that humans had living, beating hearts. That knowledge also does absolutely nothing to lighten the blow of actually hearing one, the most strangely captivating sound she’s ever witnessed. 

Ulquiorra:

-For once, he’s visibly, obviously fascinated, somehow enthralled by the steady, deep sound. Humans are miserable, worthless creatures, yes, but this sound is calming in ways he never knew were possible. 

Nnoitra:

-The sound is both the most comforting thing he’s ever experienced, and the most viscerally wrong. He shouldn’t be that close to you, that content, perfect rhythm can’t be something Hollows are meant to hear. 

Grimmjow:

-It feels strangely, uncomfortably close to hear the rhythm of your heart, like he’s so much closer than he was ever meant to be. The sound itself is so shockingly strong, even and powerful and wonderful. 

Szayel:

-Scientifically speaking, he knew everything about the organ itself. The information about how his kind seemed to seek the sound was also known, but not understood until the very moment he heard it for himself. 

Aaroniero:

-He’s been in close contact with human heartbeats before, experienced the unnatural pull towards them, but yours is so much worse. The sound is so consuming, it would be impossible to willingly move away.