Imagine your OC eating pie underneath the dining room table, as Thanksgiving family madness happens around them.

Dipper frowned. Thanksgiving was going fantastic; Mabel had invited Soos and Melody and all seven of their kids over, and between the horde of children running around, the knife throwing display Candy and Wendy were giving, and the whole raw turkey he had gotten to stay physical for the night, Dipper was having a grand time. 

But someone was missing and-oh.

Dipper stepped into the kitchen, the table abandoned and covered in a small mountain of dishes. He peeked under the table and yup-

“Hey Little Fighter,” Dipper said gently, crawling under the table with Willow. “Everything okay? Is your bubble holding up?”

Willow nodded.

“It is Uncle Dipper. I just-”

Dipper smiled sadly. “It’s a lot, I know, and you needed a break.”

The second grader nodded, sending her braids flying around her head.

Dipper snapped. “Hey, know what will make you feel better?”

Willow smiled. “What Uncle Dipper?”

He snapped again and the pecan pie from on top of the oven appeared between them both.


“Uncle Dipper, Mommy and Daddy haven’t said it’s desert time yet-”

“Well you got to listen to me too, like you do with Grunkle Stan yes?”

Willow nodded.

“Well, I say that we are going to have special under the table pie now.”

Willow giggled. “Are we going to use our hands?”

Dipper, who had already began to dig in with said hands, paused.

“Yes. Yes we are.”

(When Henry thought to look for them an hour later, he found them asleep with distended bellies and an empty pie tin between them.)

Christmas light war

Henry watched as Dipper fluttered around the house making final preparations. Below him, Mabel continuously shouted directions and pointers, working as they both were from her grand design.

He looked to the old man standing next to him.

“Stan, are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Look kid, I’m not losing ‘Best Lights Display’ to anyone let alone that asshole in the used car lot and his stupid fucking robot Santa.”

Henry frowned. “Isn’t this cheating?”

“It’s not cheating unless you get caught!”

Henry blew out a breath. “Yeah Stan but literally everyone in town knows about your nephew. The literal demon.” A pause. “Who can do anything he puts his mind to and-”

Stan waved a hand at Henry in dismissal. “Yeah yeah yeah, yeesh kid, you worry too damn much. It’ll be fine-”

“Grunkle Stan!” Mabel yelled from across the yard, arm slung around a panting Dipper. “We’re ready!”

Great sweetie!” Stan shot a smirk at Henry and then turned to look at Dipper. 

“Light it up kid!”

The resulting light display could be seen from space in the forty five seconds it was on. It also resulted in Stan, Mabel, and Henry wearing sunglasses and being unable to see for a week after.

The worst part about it, Stan thought as he convalesced in the living room, was that Henry wouldn’t even say “I told you so.”

important otp questions:

which one is like “fight me”

and which one, quietly from where the other can’t see, is like “do not touch my sweet cinnamon bun if you ever want to see the light of day again”

The girl wasn’t going to be a problem, Fred (no, that was his Norm name, he was Oblivator the Terrible now) thought. True she had an absolutely wicked bat on her, studded in glass and barbed wire, stained with what he thought was blood. Sure the tears in her sweater showed a torso and legs that were far more toned and muscled than Fr-Oblivator’s own.

Oblivator also had a foot of height on her and the Forces of Darkness on his side so he wasn’t too worried about it.

Then he looked behind her to see a tall, redheaded man enter the room. He looked mild as milk, weak as tea, and far less intimidating than the fierce, terrifying woman that stood snarling in front of Oblivator.

The redheaded man looked Oblivator in the eyes and Fred saw in them steel. Saw antlers blossom from his head for a brief second, antlers that held feet and hands and oh god-

Fred suddenly had the feeling that he was completely and totally fucked.