Ever since I was young I have been taught to hate being a girl.

I watched as my older sister spent the majority of her time on her looks and finding new skimpy outfits to make people like her. “The world is just nicer to prettier girls.” She’d say, unknowingly teaching her little sister that looks were more important then what’s on the inside.

I watched as my mother would stroke my dad’s ego and make sure that above all else, that he was happy. “Be nice. We don’t want to make him angry.” She’d say, unknowingly teaching her youngest to be a punching bag.

I listened as my brothers would tell me “Guys won’t like you if you do that.” Unknowingly teaching me that a man’s approval is all I could to hope to ask for.

I glared as my teachers would scold me for sticking up for myself. “If he is mean to you then that means he likes you.” Unknowingly teaching me that abuse is love.

I raged as my friend with the black eye would tell me “he didn’t really mean it, he said he was sorry.” Unknowingly teaching me that self preservation came last in a loving relationship.

I shook as my boyfriend would take it a little too far and say “you said you loved me.” Unknowingly teaching me that his happiness was worth more then my comfort.

I died on the inside realizing that these things I have been taught are from those I love. And that they believed them.