miroslav klose

Bayern Munich and other German NT players in a horror movie

Okay y’all so I know spooky month is over, but @kimmichoursaviour and I JUST COULDN’T RESIST THIS MAKING THIS POST, so just treat it as a general post, thanks xD


Thiago Alcantara: Is really smart and makes the best spontaneous plans, but is so loud that the killer finds him

Originally posted by gutilicious

Miroslav Klose: The smartest one, hides quietly in the corner till the danger is over, most likely to survive, celebrates with epic backflips in the credits scene, movie ends with him old and telling the story to his grandkids

Originally posted by squawkafootball

Manuel Neuer: The stoic one, survives most of the movie but heroically sacrifices himself to save Thomas

Originally posted by moonriver10310219

Thomas Müller: The kind of guy who dresses up as a clown to scare the killer, pops up randomly from behind sofas when you’re least expecting it, is saved heroically by Manuel, comic relief


Originally posted by neuerbae

Joshua Kimmich: Holds someone’s hand and cowers in the beginning the movie, pops up randomly to do an epic karate-kick at the killer after Manuel dies *cries*

Originally posted by ldlwlgpl

Xabi Alonso: Too tired to move, screw it (but manages to survive just sitting there)

Originally posted by kicktv

Bastian Schweinsteiger: Booby traps the entire house with his genius intellect, then gets caught by one of his own traps

Originally posted by witty-futty

(Oh, Basti.)


Lukas Podolski: Suggest splitting up into pairs to look for the killer, means it as joke and everybody actually listens to him, dies stupidly by falling down the stairs or off the roof or something

Originally posted by poldiology

Toni Kroos: The only one sensible enough to try to get the electricity back up, feel free to forget him till the lights come back on and he comes into the room screaming “I did it!”

Originally posted by benzgrizi

Mesut Özil: Very shy at the beginning of the movie but heroically tries to help the kids whenever in danger, you high key ADORE this guy, everybody’s sweetheart, gets killed trying to save someone selflessly and makes you cry with his last dying words to Sami

Originally posted by pppper

Sami Khedira: Spends the entirety of the movie trying to call the police, appears only in 5-second cut scenes and Mesut’s death, keeps a low profile till Mesut dies toward the end and then goes batshit crazy, yelling and screaming till the killer decides he’s had enough and kills him too

Originally posted by mesutozillatinoamerica

Mario Götze: Locks himself into the kitchen and gets set on fire

Originally posted by neuersnutella

Marco Reus: Gets injured in the beginning of the movie and you miss him so damn much all the time becuase Mario keeps muttering “I wish you were here, Marco” as he cowers in the dark

Originally posted by gotzeusislove

Mats Hummels: Tries to hit the killer with a broomstick at the end of the movie, gets stabbed

Originally posted by fuckyeahgermannationalteam

Benedikt Höwedes: Comsistently silent throughout the movie, you forget he’s there till Mats tries to find him

Originally posted by armpitage

Philipp Lahm: Always running after the others, constantly coming up with a new plan when something goes wrong, constantly muttering to himself about an early retirement

Originally posted by ldlwlgpl

Javi Martinez: Has no idea what the hell is going on, tags along with Fips, gets lost, hides in the basement and dies of cardiac arrest when the door opens (but it was only Fips looking for him)

Originally posted by dxbayern

Mario Gómez: The target of the killer, distracts him with his beauty. Makes it out alive, because the killer wants him to join the Dark Side. Will suffer forever on the bench

Originally posted by gabbyiskira

Julian Draxler: Realizes killer is distracted (by Mario’s beauty), the first to actually come up with the idea to flee

Originally posted by aubatman

David Alaba: Spends the entirety of the movie filming the ordeal to Snapchat later, dies because he was using flash and made himself an easy target. Oh well, at least the videos were used to convict the killer

Originally posted by neuersevdalisi

Jérôme Boateng: Hides the entire time with some other teammates, hears the shooting in the living room. Realises the killer is dead and helps the injured teammates out alive

Originally posted by badstuber

Per Mertesacker: Hides with Boateng, hears shooting. Spends the entire movie doing acrobatics and looks for Fips who went missing somewhere in the house. Survives and celebrates with those dance moves in the credits scene

Originally posted by victoryclubhouse

Julian Weigl: Protects his boyfriend, hold his hand, killer is after him, tells Joshua to run when he wants to sacrifice himself so Joshua can escape. All round CUTIE. Because Julshua.

Originally posted by plszczek

Robert Lewandowski: The guy who would risk going into the basement to find weapons, and when all hope is lost, he would shoot the killer five times at the 88th minute, hero of the movie

Originally posted by dxbayern

José Mourinho: The goddamned killer

Originally posted by so-maticulous


Tag yourself– who are you?

Manuel Neuer + Other Players Appreciation Post

Thomas Müller.

Rafinha.

Thiago Alcantara.

Joshua Kimmich.

Philipp Lahm.

Xabi Alonso.

Bastian Schweinsteiger.

David Alaba.

Mario Götze.

Jerome Boateng.

Mesut Özil.

Benedikt Höwedes.

Kevin Großkreutz.

Marco Reus & André Schürrle.

Miroslav Klose.

Lukas Podolski.

Christoph Kramer.

Robert Lewandowski.

Toni Kroos.

Mario Gomez.

Mats Hummels.

Sebastian Rode.

Franck Ribery.

Ter Stegen.

Arjen Robben.

Douglas Costa.

Julian Draxler.

Javi Martinez.

Juan Bernat.

Holger Badstuber.

Shkodran Mustafi.

Sami Khedira.

Emre Can.

My emotions.

Let me have my fair share of Manu.