miranda lambert and blake shelton

I’m just too selfish I guess. I know you’re tired and restless. It’s no surprise we’ve come undone, but I can’t unlove you just because you say it’s better in the long run.
—  Miranda Lambert “Better in the Long Run” 
Miranda Lambert & Blake Shelton

“I’m not sunshine and roses. Blake’s the happiest person on the planet. He pulls me out of my darkness … Literally, everything is the best about being married.”

“He laughs at everything, and it’s hard for him to be serious, which can sometimes be annoying. We balance each other out, though; he lightens my heart, and I rope him in.”

“I think that God has a person for you; Blake Shelton is in my life for a reason. He’s supposed to be my husband.”

“Looking back on that, I was falling in love with her, right there on stage.”

“I met Miranda, and she just was that girl. I’m screwed now that I’ve met her, because I don’t know who could be better for me in my eyes and my mind. That’s just how she’s always been for me since I met her.”

“I’ve never felt a stronger bond with, not only with her, but with any other human being in my life. I mean… she’s my life.”

Klance Headcanons

As promised to Anon :)

  • I LIVE for Keith trying to make a move and Lance just Not Getting It 
    • “Lance, what would you do if you had a serious crush on someone?” “Well, I think I’d just be straight up about it. Just say, ‘hey, I have a crush on you. Do you think we could make this work?’” “Hey, I have a crush on you. Do you think we can make this work?” *slapping Keith on the back* “Yeah, exactly like that! So who do you have a crush on, dude?” “I can’t with you right now”
  • Trying to be Lowkey about them dating and failing miserably
    • “Lance, do you know why Keith upset?” “Why would you ask me? It’s not like he’s my boyfriend or anything! We’re not even friends! He’s my rival! He’s-” “I asked you because we’re going around the table and asking everyone if they know why Keith is upset.” “Oh.”
    • *Keith and Lance emerge from Lance’s room, hair and clothes mussed* “What were you two-” “WE WERE BAKING BROWNIES” “…..in Lance’s bedroom” “…….yes”
  • One day they’re doing their whole “we hate each other no really we do” routine and Pidge is Done and just goes “we saw you two kissing. You’re really gay. We get it. We don’t give a shit, but you should know, just for the record, that you aren’t slick and frankly I had bet that you two would make out about a week earlier than you did, so now I owe Hunk twenty bucks and I’m upset about it”
  • Horrible flirting during battle
    • “Keith, use out your sword!” “Oh I’d let Keith use his sword on me any day” *collective groaning and gagging*
  • Teaching each other little bits and phrases in their native language, and them repeating it back to each other over and over again until Lance can say “I love you” perfectly in Korean and Keith can say it perfectly in Spanish
  • “Pidge, let me tell you a thing or two about relationships” “Lance you have been dating Keith for about two weeks and he has threatened to dump you twelve times so literally shut the fuck up”
  • The entire team acts like they hate how lovey dovey they are, but really Hunk and Coran help Keith make cakes for Lance on anniversaries and Allura and Pidge always offer to help Lance make Keith little gifts and Shiro is a full time couples counselor and would do anything to keep the lovebirds relationship thriving
  • Fighting over stupid ass things
    • “You asked me if I was team Instinct, Keith. Instinct.” “So?” “So? So??? CLEARLY I am team VALOR jesus christ I can’t even look at you right now”
  • Lance endlessly comparing them to couples in pop culture
    • “He’s the Jay Z to my Beyonce, the Juliet O’Hara to my Shawn Spencer, the Aang to my Katara, the Miranda Lambert to my Blake Shelton-” “Wait, didn’t they get a divorce?” “Pidge I swear to fucking god”
  • Lance loves making Keith blush. Loves. It. Will do it as much as possible. It is his main source of joy in life.
  • “My type is a man who could kick my ass” -Lance probably

Alright this is getting long so I’m gonna end it here! I hope this is what you were looking for, Anon!

Happy Birthday Baby


Miranda leaned in against her Husband and let out a loud groan. Blake supported her body weight and slowly swayed her hips for her to try and ease the tension. As the contraction eased, Miranda let out a big breath and lifted her face out of Blake’s shoulder.

Blake kissed her sweaty forehead and helped her back over to the bed, he could tell that she was having trouble standing, so he helped her back on to the bed, where she sat with crossed legs, leaning forward in to Blake so that he could support her. 

Blake knew she didn’t want to talk, so he ran his hands up and down the sides of her stomach and as the next contraction crept up, Miranda tensed up and squeezed Blake to try and ease the pain a little. As the climax hit, she grunted loudly and Blake frowned as she began to cry gently against his shoulder. He waited for the contraction to end, before he lifted her red face in to his hands so that she was looking at him, her eyes puffy from tears.

“Don’t cry Baby, you’re doing great.” He reassured her and she sighed and winced as the baby shifted inside her, she could feel her moving further down in to her pelvis with every contraction.

“I just want her out!” Miranda complained and Blake nodded understandingly, holding her tighter and using one hand to wipe away her tears.

“I know you’re tired sweetie, but you’re so close now.” He tried to reason but he knew she was fed up and wanted it over with. After 18 hours of contractions, he didn’t know how much more she could endure before she gave up. He wasn’t going to let that happen.

As the contractions began to inch closer together, Miranda cried harder through each one and Blake did his best to coach her through it, but it was obvious how much more intense they were becoming. Miranda was laying on her side and during a particularly strong contraction, he noticed that she spread her legs apart and cried out a little, before automatically starting to push.

When the contraction was over, Blake rubbed her thigh and helped her put her leg back down.

“I want to push.” Miranda muttered as she tried to catch her breath and Blake nodded, pressing the button for the midwife to come in. They had been told that once she had the urge to push, the baby was definitely on its way.

The midwife entered the room a few minutes later mid-contraction and she could tell that Miranda was getting close by the way her husband was holding one leg up and she was pushing lightly through the contraction. When it was over, the midwife gave her a sympathetic smile.

“Are you feeling the urge to push?” She asked and Miranda nodded, spreading her legs out and rolling on to her back, knowing that she would be having an examination. They hurt and it was uncomfortable to have their hands in there, but if it bought her closer to getting the baby out, she would endure it.

Blake rubbed her hand as she squeezed his and he encouraged her as the midwife examined her and Miranda winced at the discomfort. When the midwife’s hand was out, she took off the glove and gave Miranda a reassuring smile. 

“You’re 9 and a half centimetres. If you feel like pushing, then go for it. Your baby is very low down, it won’t be long.”

Miranda breathed a sigh of relief and Blake thanked her as she went to prepare everything she would need for the delivery and page a nurse to assist her. 

When the next contraction hit, it was different to the others and Miranda groaned loudly as the pain moved further down, contracting and squeezing in her lower stomach so the baby would move down. As Miranda started to push, Blake held her leg with one hand and her hand with the other, holding his breath with every push she gave. When it was over, Miranda pulled her hospital gown up and felt just below her belly, where the babies’ head was painfully entering the birth canal.

She barely had 30 seconds, before the next contraction hit and she pushed again, keeping her hand on the spot where she could feel the shape of the babies head and loosing motivation when she couldn’t feel it moving. As she gasped for air, the midwife put her gloves back on and examined her while she pushed, to try and estimate the location of the head.

When it was over, Miranda took deep breaths as her husband wiped the sweat off her forehead and the midwife took her fingers out and looked down at Miranda.

“How about you change positions to try and get her head moving?” She suggested “Let gravity do some of the work.”

Miranda moaned at the thought of having to move, but accepted Blake’s help to get her on her hands and knees, her head up near the head of the bed. As she moved in to the new position, she cried as her whole body ached. Miranda felt the weight of the low-hanging baby shift away from her back and felt a little release as some of the pressure on her spine was released. The relief ended a few seconds later when the next contraction hit and Blake quickly held on to her to support her as she cried out and the midwife lifted the gown to see what was going on.

“That’s it, she’s moving.” The midwife encouraged and Blake snuck a peak behind his wife, not seeing the head, but seeing that she was stretching out as she pushed. She was red and swollen with a little blood and he felt horrible that she had to go through this, but it was almost over and he would have his little girl in his arms soon.

When it was over, Blake was just about to give her a kiss when the next wave of contraction crashed over her and she gripped on to the head of the bed and pushed, her butt moving further up and the midwife smiled, she was making progress. 

For close to an hour, Blake was forced to stand helplessly as his wife sweated and grunted, crying as she pushed. He knew that first babies took a while to descend, but he prayed to God his girl would crown soon, he knew Miranda couldn’t endure much more without collapsing in exhaustion. With every push Miranda gave, the midwife used her gloved fingers to try and stretch her out a little more. She knew this woman was having big baby and she was quiet small in size, so extra stretching would be needed.

“Get your hands out!” Miranda whined as she felt the midwife pulling her apart and the professional sighed.

“I’m sorry, but I need to do this to avoid tearing.” She apologised and Blake kissed her back when she groaned. It was all getting too much and feeling how low down her baby was was scaring her.  

She barely lasted 2 more contractions, before she felt a big shift and she cried out as the baby pushed further down, past her pelvis and in to her pubic area. Blake had a look and couldn’t see the head, but she was opening up as she pushed and there was fluid coming out.

“I need to go to the bathroom!” Miranda suddenly whined and Blake looked at the midwife, unsure how this worked and the midwife just rubbed Miranda’s lower back.

“That’s not poop you’re feeling, that’s your baby.” She assured and Miranda groaned. The midwife knew it was very common for woman to poop while they pushed as they were using the same muscles, but that was something she didn’t need to tell this Mother. 

“I want to get down.” Miranda breathed heavily as she stopped pushing and the midwife nodded, helping Blake to very slowly roll her back on to her back, Miranda crying as she was moved. As soon as she was on her back, Blake pulled the bed up a little so that she was half-sitting and Miranda spread her legs as far as she could manage, finding a little relief in doing so. 

While the midwife checked the baby’s heart rate, one of the nurses put sterile white sheets all under Miranda’s bottom and gave Blake a pat on the back. He looked a little faint, but he was holding it together for his wife’s sake. 

During the next few contractions Miranda pushed he chin to her chest and pushed as hard as she could mange while Blake and the midwife watched her open and close, straining with every push. When she pooped out a little during the stronger pushes, the midwife simply wiped it away and Blake ignore it, he didn’t care if she pooped as long as it helped get their baby out. 

After almost 2 hours of pushing, Miranda used her hand to pull back her thighs and as she pushed, she cried out loudly as something round and hard poked through her entrance. Blake hated how much this was hurting her, but he couldn’t help but smile as he grabbed her hand and squeezed it, never keeping his eyes off the tip of his daughters head. 

“You’re doing it Sweetie, she’s right there!” Blake encouraged and as the contraction ended, Miranda collapsed in to the back of the bed and closed her eyes while one of her husbands hands held hers and his other wiped back the loose strand of hair on her forehead. She shifted her butt and groaned as she was stretched some more, before the next contraction washed over her and Blake supported her as she bared down.

As she pushed as hard as she could, the head began to shift very slowly and as she gave up, Miranda called out as the head began to crown, stretching her out more than she wanted to stretch.

“It’s burning!” She cried and Blake kissed her sweaty forehead as the midwife used her fingers to spread out Miranda’a stretching opening. 

“I know, it’s supposed to burn.” The midwife assured gently but that sans;t comforting anyone.

As Miranda cried and tried to stop herself from screaming, Blake looked down at the crowning head, stuck in the same position so she could stretch and make room for the rest of it. He didn’t understand how she was stretching this much without ripping apart and he knew there was still more baby to get out yet. He felt sick as he watched amniotic fluids and blood drain around her skin, but this was one of those situations where he needed to get his shit together for her sake.

“Do you want to feel the head?” The midwife asked Miranda and she shook her head. She was focusing too much on not screaming and didn’t think she could manage it. 

“Do you?” The midwife asked Blake and he looked at the mess a little dumbfounded, but knew he wanted to be the first hand to touch his baby. He gave Miranda’s hands another squeeze, before he reached his hand down and ran is fingers around the crown. 

He almost cried as he felt the little bits of hair on top of his daughter’s head, but at the same time, he could feel with his fingers just how tight Miranda was stretched and he hated that he knew she was going to tear. Only the first few centimetres of the head was out, so he knew the rest of the baby was going to be even bigger. 

When Miranda groaned at the touch, Blake pulled his hand away and wiped off the gunk on one of the sheets, before he took a deep breath and went back to Miranda’s side. He grabbed her tense hand in his and kissed it gently.

“Feel her, Baby.” He encouraged, knowing she would regret it if she didn’t and when Miranda didn’t respond, Blake took her hand and guided it down between her legs and she gasped as she felt the top of the head, tears falling down her face.

“That’s her?” She breathed, trying to ignore the pain for a second and feel the hair on the bubba’s head and Blake leaned in to kiss her. 

“That’s our baby.” He clarified in a whisper as their foreheads met and Blake kissed her. He didn’t care that she was sweaty and exhausted, or that she had vomited up the food she had been given. He kissed her anyway, because at that moment he was amazed by her strength and she had their daughter coming out of her. To Blake, kissing his wife while she was such a mess was the most romantic feeling in the world. 

The sweetness was short lived, however, when another contraction crept up and Miranda kept one hand on her baby’s head and the other squeezing her Husbands hand, she moaned loudly as she pushed down. She did it twice, before she got sick of the excruciating burning and pushed harder than she had before. As she cried and pushed, the midwife tried to gently guide the baby and as the rest of the head emerged, Blake bit his lip as trails of blood tricked down below her vagina. It was obvious that she was tearing, not just from the visible blood, but from the louder cries escaping his wife’s throat. 

As the head stretched through Miranda’s tight entrance, Miranda collapsed against the bed and tried to catch her breath, while the midwife checked that the chord wasn’t wrapped around the baby’s neck and Blake watched on in amazement. As he looked at the baby’s squishy red face, he was already falling in love and his eyes were getting cloudy with tears. Miranda closed her eyes and tried to breathe as Blake leaned down to kiss her forehead as their hands squeezed together. Miranda could feel the baby’s face with her spare hand and the only thing keeping her together, was the feeling she got as she traced the outlines of her little girls nose and lips. 

Blake rubbed his thumbs over Miranda’s hand and blinked away his tears as he watched the midwife slowly turn the baby’s head and support the neck with her hand as they waited on another contraction. As Miranda tried to breath easier, Blake frowned at how big the baby’s head looked against Miranda’s exposed pelvis floor. He could see just how far she had stretched out, but he was concerned that the shoulders would be even more of a stretch. 

When Miranda managed to get herself together a little, the next contraction crept up and Blake helped her sit up a little more as she put her chin to her chest and pushed down, grunting as the midwife tried to encourage one of the baby’s shoulders to come out before the other. As soon as Miranda gasped for air, she took another gulp of oxygen and bared down again, but as she pushed, she wasn’t making any progress. 

When the baby’s head had been out for close to 5 minutes and the shoulders weren’t budging, Blake frowned as he looked down at her skin, it just wasn’t stretching any further and she had amniotic fluid laced with blood oozing out around the baby’s head. 

“Miranda, I need you to really push now. We need to get this baby out.” The midwife said firmly and Miranda started crying harder as Blake kept one hand squeezing hers, while the other was lining her back, supporting the back of her neck to keep her more upright. Miranda took a deep breath and pushed and cried, her frustration boiling over as she reached down and felt that her baby wasn’t moving.

The midwife frowned when the baby still didn’t shift and as Miranda gave up her pushing and cried, her Husband did his best to stroke her and comfort her as she cried in panic.

“I’m just going to make a little cut to make more room.” The midwife said gently, trying to keep the situation calm and Miranda’s eyes shot open and she cried out as she watched the midwife reach over for the silver sterile scissors.

“No!” She whined loudly and Blake looked between his wife’s face and the part of his baby that was stuck inside her, knowing this was necessary.

“It’s okay Sweetheart, she needs to come out.” He tried to assure her but he was feeling like he would hurl as he watched those scissors curl through the midwife’s fingers. Blake tried to look away and moved a little closer towards Miranda’s head. He gave her face a kiss and squeezed her as she cried in protest. 

The midwife wiped something yellow over the skin stretched around the baby’s head and Blake leaned in closer to Miranda to hold her close, but Miranda had other ideas. She absolutely refused to have a woman cut her vagina with a pair of scissors, no matter how much pain she was in, so she basically pushed her Husband’s arms out of the way and grunted as she was helped sit up further. As she looked down between her legs, she closed her eyes and was horrified at the mess. As her hands grabbed around her thighs, she pulled her legs back as far as she could and Blake helped support her as she pushed down and cried out, putting energy she didn’t know she possessed in to it. 

As Miranda bared down, the midwife frowned as she watched the baby’s shoulder force it’s way out, a trail of blood escaping with it, but she put the scissors down and encouraged Miranda as she tried to guide the baby out as gently as she could. Blake watched his wife in complete amazement as she took control of the situation and tortured herself to get the baby moving again. He kept one hand firmly on hers, while he shuffled down and cried silently as his baby’s shoulders were freed and her pink slimy body forced it’s way out. 

Miranda hollered out as the baby’s torso was gently pulled by the midwife and just like that, a brand new life entered the world, followed quickly by a gush of amniotic fluid. Miranda collapsed against the bed and tried to get her breathing steady as Blake stood dumbfounded for a second as his emotions boiled over and he couldn’t help but cry as his baby was placed on the soiled white sheets and the midwife patted her back.

“Is she okay?” He managed to choke out and once the midwife had suctioned out the gunk from her nose and mouth, the pink blob of a person’s lungs filled with air and the midwife didn’t even have to answer his question. 

As their child’s first cry filled the room, Blake helped prop his wife up and the midwife lifted the crying babe. Blake quickly unclipped Miranda’s gown and pulled it off, knowing baby’s needed immediate skin to skin contact. As the baby was placed stomach down on Miranda’s chest, Miranda immediately burst in to tears. After just over 19 hours, this was the moment she had worked for. She was exhausted, her groin was throbbing and burning, but at the moment her whole world was confined to the tiny person crying on her bare chest. Blake’s lips found Miranda’s and they locked on and simply cried together, their ears rejoicing in the shrieks of the person they couldn’t quite believe was lying between them. 

“I love you so much.” Blake whispered against his wife’s cracked lips and she sobbed with him, their tears falling together as she managed to croak a reply.

“I love you too.” 

Miranda pulled her head back and reached it down to kiss the top of her little girls skull. She was covered in gunk, but that was the last thing Miranda cared about. Both her and Blake’s hands rubbed over her brand new chubby body and their faces breathed against hers as she calmed down and found a little comfort in the hands of the people who loved her unconditionally.

“She’s perfect.” Blake breathed as his face rested against Miranda’s breast and his finger gently stroked the droopy skin of his daughter’s cheek. Miranda closed her eyes and used one hand to hold her brand new baby against her, while the other rubbed the back of her Husband’s head. Her heart was so full that she could barely stand it, and she couldn’t help the constant sobs escaping her. 

The midwife did her best to try and clean Miranda up, but she knew the new family needed these moments to bond together, so she let them be and the nurse took Blake’s camera and took photo’s so they could remember. Blake stared in to his daughter’s eyes when they finally opened and their gazed met for a few moments as Blake and Miranda both cried.

“She looks just like you.” Miranda breathed as her heart expanded when she saw the giant baby blues that were squinting on her daughter’s face, it was like staring in to her husbands eyes. Blake smiled against her and he reached his face up to kiss Miranda’s sweaty head again.

“I’m so proud of you.” He mumbled against her, unable to fully comprehend how she had managed to get his tiny little love in to the world and Miranda just kissed his stubbly face in response, before they both went back to admiring their little one, who was squirming against her Mother’s warm, naked chest. 

“I love you Sweetheart.” Miranda whispered against her baby’s squished up face and Blake choked back more tears, his whole being overflowing with love for his girls. 

As he kept his hands around them, Blake’s cheek nestled back in to Miranda’s exposed chest and he stared at his baby as her hands grasped on to her Momma’s sweaty skin. He just could not comprehend that this perfect little girl in front of him was theirs. She was unwashed and her umbilical chord was still intact, but Blake just didn’t care. She was perfect and she was his. He didn’t understand what he had done right in life to deserve two girls who were so breathtakingly beautiful.

“I love you baby girl.” Blake spoke quietly and his daughter looked up in to his eyes as her mouth blew little spit bubbles, making Blake cry in pride. 

He reached over and his mouth ever so gently connected with the wet skin on her pouted little lips. As his mouth met hers for the first time, he was amazed at how tiny and vulnerable she felt against him. He knew she was going to be his whole world, there was nothing in the world he would rather devote his life to. He very softly kissed her parted lips and his forehead rested against her tiny little one, as he closed his eyes and breathed in his future.

 “Happy Birthday Baby.” 

End Note - It’s over! Hope you enjoyed it! Feedback feedback feedback! Thanks for loving this series! :)