mira gonzalez

I stayed in bed for over an hour
looked at things on my phone
I felt slightly anxious about nothing particular
I walked downstairs and poured coffee into a jar
I asked a person on the internet if I should take drugs
I took drugs before the person had time to respond
I feel alienated by people who express concern about me without
defining their concern in terms of a specific solution or goal
I dont feel comforted by the idea of an afterlife
I dont want to continue experiencing things after I die
I want someone to pull my hair because I like the idea of someone
controlling my head without touching my head

What is the difference between being an independent person
and being a person who is accepting of loneliness?

—  Today My Alarm Went Off at 12:30 p.m. (Mira Gonzalez)
i want to feel orgasms in the tip of my nose and the back of my ear
in the cartilage between the vertebrae that make up my spinal column
would you stare at my face for ~2 hours without blinking
standing on the splintery wooden porch of the house where i was born
we are craving a certain unachievable density in emotions
that can only be partially expressed through physical movements
subtle gestures that suggest something complex and vague
i will kiss you everywhere and recklessly
under the avocado tree during a thunderstorm
in that hole i dug in my dad’s backyard when i was 7
here are some things that i would like to touch
clavicle bones, backs of knees, adam’s apple, space between fingers
together we will have this extremely beautiful sensation
of being twice as frail as we once were
and it will feel like the first time you ever had a cold
the last time you tasted grape flavored cough syrup
a light pink fever
—  Mira Gonzalez, “Heartbroken People With Extreme Personality Flaws”
I stayed in bed for over an hour
looked at things on my phone
I felt slightly anxious about nothing particular
I walked downstairs and poured coffee into a jar
I asked a person on the internet if I should take drugs
I took drugs before the person had time to respond

I feel alienated by people who express concern about me without
defining their concern in terms of a specific solution or goal
I dont feel comforted by the idea of an afterlife
I dont want to continue experiencing things after I die
I want someone to pull my hair because I like the idea of someone controlling my head without touching my head

what is the difference between being an independent person
and being a person who is accepting of loneliness
—  “Today My Alarm Went Off at 12:30 p.m.,” Mira Gonzalez
vimeo

HI GUYS

if u are feeling lonely i will read u poetry

welcome 2 the first edition of brittany’s poetry hour!!!

poems included: 
brandon scott gorrell - don’t feel like i can maneuver this ‘copying tao lin’ problem anymore (2:14)
(muumuuhouse.com/bsg.poetry4.html)

mira gonzalez - i can read a novel out loud while you lay on my floor with your head in my lap and we can feel happy because we are touching each other and i am using my voice and we don’t have to think about global climate change or death (3:46)
(shabbydollhouse.com/i-can-read-a-novel)

shinji moon - the water cycle (6:12)
(commovente.tumblr.com/post/38136901551/falling-in-love-with-you-was-a-kind-of-melting)

michael ondaatje - light (7:59)

heiko julien - some chapters from 'am i cool’ & chap 7 of 'i am ready to die a violent death (14:09)
(scribd.com/doc/94961731/am-i-cool)
(scribd.com/doc/102952623/I-Am-Ready-To-Die-A-Violent-Death)

some bullshit by yours truly (21:25)

aaaaaaaand
walt motherfuckin’ whitman - third part of 'song of myself’ (24:41)

count the number of times i say 'um’ or 'alright’ or 'so yeah’ - I WILL WORK ON THIS NEXT TIME I REALIZE I SOUND WAY TOO PROFESSIONAL THIS IS NOT HOW I NORMALLY AM EVER I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO EXIST IN THE REAL WORLD

I AM SORRY IF I BORED YOU TO TEARS

thanks 2 all of these lovely poets y'all are wonderful
and thanks 2 muumuu house & shabby doll house yr wonderful too
NEXT EDITION WILL BE BETTER I PROMISE
I ALSO HAVEN’T SHOWERED IN TWO DAYS
B

‘Ryan Gosling’

I am becoming increasingly hostile and unsympathetic
social interaction makes me tired and irritated
I have alienated myself
I don’t have meaningful relationships
I don’t have romantic relationships
I read a lot of depressing books
I like being alone
I am a bland person
I am an afterthought
I am a bag of unsalted pretzels
I don’t know
I am constantly reaching toward some nebulous goal
I am not a mean person
I am not a bad person
I am only okay

—  Mira Gonzalez, from her book ‘i will never be beautiful enough to make us beautiful together’