The light seeped through the lace curtains as I drifted in and out of sleep. My head rested on his chest and eventually I was woken by his fingers lacing through my hair. It was moments like this I had waited a life time for and It was worth the waiting.
“It’s a big day. We need to wake up, you never did pick an outfit last night.”
As my eyes fluttered open I placed my wrist on my forehead to shield them from the blinding light. I pulled my phone from under the covers and clicked the lock button and waited for the screen to display the time. It was 7:53 in the morning, a time that didn’t exist to either of us during tour season.
“Remind me again why we agreed to an Easter brunch at 9 am? It’s not like it’s Christmas like it’s not that big of a deal and brunch implies it’s between breakfast and lunch and 9 am is barely breakfast.”
I pulled the covers up over my head and Adam let his lips form into a smile.
“Brunch is anytime between like 8:30 and noon, it just means the meal is big enough to last you two meals. Besides next year, it will be a big deal.”
His hand buried into the pile of blankets and rested it softly onto the small bump emerging from my abdomen. There it was, the constant reminder of our current situation. We found out a few weeks before the Grammys. The award show consisted of me sneaking ginger chews in my mouth and Adam whispering things like “ you’re doing great!” “ are you okay?” In my ear and ordering me ginger ale to keep me from puking whatever was left in my stomach onto my shoes. About a week later we had a big scary meeting in a conference room with anyone inVolved with the tour. My mom, my record label president, my costume designer, the lighting guy, Adam, my doctor, pretty much everyone. After about three hours of discussion it was decided that I would continue the tour but we would cut out the Asian and Australian leg of the tour we had planned for later in the year. My mom would be at every show and Adam would come when he could. In addition any choreography that could lead to me falling or otherwise hurting myself would be changed and my costuming would be adjusted to hide the bump until I was ready to tell people and then to accommodate it as I got bigger. The plan was perfect. And then they found two heartbeats on my first sonogram. Adam tried to convince me cancel the tour but considering that I’m young and healthy my doctor felt comfortable allowing me to tour but we brought a nurse named Nancy on the team who would check the babies and I before and after each show. At ten weeks my pants stopped fitting and my entire team went into a frenzy calling stylists who specialize in celebrity maternity wear because apparently that’s a job people have. My parents were thrilled and took every opportunity they could to see us. Easter was the first time we were all available since I found out I was pregnant and my mom wanted to celebrate. I wasn’t sure exactly what we were celebrating since baby showers were a thing that happen later in the pregnancy and its not like this pregnancy was something we were waiting for. I got an ear infection and the doctor put me on an antibiotic that interfered with my birth control. I was tracking my cycles and we were using condoms most the time but I guess it never occurred to me that if my birth control wasn’t being effective then my cycles would get off. Nevertheless she was excited and I let her be excited. I pulled myself out of the bed pulled myself into the shower. The morning sickness had gone from throwing up four times a day regardless of what I ate to just feeling sick all the time and only throwing up when I ate something that I didn’t agree with or let myself get too hungry. In the beginning coffee just didn’t sound good so I took to drinking tea pretty much all the time. When we found out it was twins and I decided continue touring Adam and I decided to take pretty much every precaution. I wasn’t consuming any caffeine, I was also banned from any exercise other then the tour because apparently that’s more than enough. I was really missing caffeine Adam tried making me these green energy smoothies but the one time I managed to get it down I was almost more tired then I was with out it.
After I finished contemplating life and I kind of made some sort of an attempt to clean my body I turned the water off. I quickly dried myself off and pulled a light robe on and walked out to the living room with my two outfit options.
“Adam I can’t decide.”
He put his phone down and directed all of his attention to me.
“Tell me about your options.”
I held up the first outfit. It was a white eye lit lice dress. It had thin straps made out of the same material, It went down to the knee and gathered just under the bust, and I had a coral cardigan to go over it. It was a maternity dress and it would show off my little bump quite well.
“So this one is super cute and it’s my first choice but it won’t hide the bump very well, in fact it will show it off and so we can’t post pictures and I mean it’s Easter. That’s kind of a picture worthy holiday.”
The second outfit was a mint skater skirt with a loose baby pink sweater.
“This one is also super cute and if I wore this one we could post pictures but um, I don’t know.”
He thought for a second before giving me his answer.
“ I mean I like the first one but your right, you’re going to want to post pictures.”
“Like I guess we could just do head shot style pictures or make sure I’m always in behind people.”
“Or….we could tell people.”
“What? They’re going to find out about it eventually, probably sooner rather then later. You haven’t announced an Asian or Australian leg of your tour and the fans are already speculating the possibility of you being pregnant. Plus if tour starts stressing one or both of the babies out or you start having problems and you need to take a break your fans will know why. I think it’s time Taylor.”
The reality of it was that with my celebrity status there would be no way for me to hide a pregnancy, let alone a twin pregnancy. We both knew from experience that the more we gave the media the less we were bothered by paparazzi. If they had a picture of me pregnant they would be a lot less likely to send paparazzi on a goose hunt to get a pictures of me and any pictures they did get would be worth a lot less. The chance of miscarriage was pretty low at this point. Adam was right, it was time.
“Okay how are we going to do this?
He was pleasantly suppressed by my response and thought for a second.
"I say we tease them a little bit.”
“Adam I have an idea, I think we have everything we need.”
“Okay well were going to be late so you go get dressed and tell me what we need because we were supposed to leave like five seconds ago.”
I put the white dress on and blow dried my hair before adding some soft curls and adding the cardigan.
“Did you get everything Adam?”
“Yeah except for the vests and the dummy’s. We used them to tell your mum and dad and they’re still at their house.”
“You mean onesies and pacifiers”
“Yeah whatever we need to go.”
“Our kids are going to live their life’s incredibly confused if you can’t start using American lingo.”
“Oh come on Tay we both know "nappy” sounds better then “diaper”.“
” Come on I need to do my makeup in the car and we need to get going.“
My mom was waiting for us when we pulled into the driveway.
"Hi honey! It’s so good to see you guys! Are you feeling any better?”
“A little bit! I’m not getting sick as often, I just have to be carful with when and what I eat. I still feel pretty nauseous most the time though.”
“Well it will pass and it will all be worth it in the end. How are you doing Adam?”
“ I’m doing well! Taylor and I are telling the fans about the babies today.”
“ oh yeah, mom do you have those onesies and pacifiers we used to tell you and dad about the babies?”
“I’ll go get them. Adam, Scott and Austin have been out on the deck trying to set up a folding table for the last 20 minutes, would you mind going and seeing if they need help?”
Adam headed to the back yard. My mom pulled me into a hug and tears started falling from my eyes.
“It’s going to be okay sweetie.”
I pulled my self together and took a deep breath.
“It wasn’t supposed to be this way, we were going to get engaged sometime this year and then get married two or three years after that and then maybe if we felt like it we’d have a baby sometime.”
“It’s okay, you just skipped a few steps! There’s a man out there who loves you and these babies and you’re going to marry him! It’s going to be okay.”
“ Adams just so excited and I love that he’s excited and I’m excited too but it’s just so much to take in and we’re telling people today and-”
“ You don’t have to do it today.”
“But I want to. I mean look at me, I really can’t hide it much longer and I want it to come from me and not some tabloid that just happens to be right this time. I need to do it today.”
Once I pulled myself together Adam in from the back.
“Hey Tay, we finished up out here, do you want to do the thing?”
I pulled the supplies for our first little clue and Adam pulled his phone out. I stuffed two peeps inside a plastic white Easter egg. Adam positioned a “What to expect when you’re expecting” book just barley in frame so you kind of sort of see what it was if you were familiar with the book. Adam started recording on snap chat and said “Two peeps! Two peeps in one egg!” I giggled and then the video ended.
We ate breakfast and discussed the tour, the babies and our plans for the rest of the year. Like always my mom gave us all Easter baskets. Mine had a pair of slippers, a new pair of earbuds, some nail polish, a chocolate bunny and some other various classic Easter. Adam got some new tee shirts, a key chain tool kit, the same candy I got (because despite his dedication to healthy living my mom insist that everyone needs candy on Easter) and best of all two onesies that said “ my daddy is the DJ”. We decided it was the perfect time to do the second clue. We pulled out the two little white baskets that I had got last year for decoration. I filled them with pink and blue mixed Easter grass and put the pacifiers and onesies in the basket along with two of my ultrasound pictures. We put the little baskets in front of our big baskets and I took a picture. I uploaded it to Instagram and captioned it “The easter bunny brought some pretty amazing baskets this year!” The fans and media sites caught on and we decided it was only fair to confirm their suspicions. We did a mini photo shoot and we chose our favorites to post afterward. I chose one where Adam was wrapping his arms around me and resting his hands on my little belly. Adam chose one that was just his hands on my belly he turned it black and white and uploaded them at the same time. I captioned mine “Two becomes four in late November!” Something about this felt right, two was becoming four and it was going to be okay.
I mean, Shawn was no saint. I knew for a fact that he wasn’t virgin, he’d snuck out plenty of times, all that good stuff. But for some reason I genuinely liked being around him. I liked the feel of him, and I hope he feels like same way. I guess I’ll find out soon enough if he really is only trying to get some.