no but actually look at him

he’s nothing like the man he was before, the cocky oh-i-am-so-smart detective

he’s petrified

he’s afraid and uncertain and guilty, oh how guilty… and he looks so broken because he’s not sure he’ll actually be alive again, he may go on but without john… it wouldn’t be living, it’d be just existing and he, sherlock holmes, the man who won with death, is now unsure if he’s going to make it