mines came from a friend that bought me it from universal music

hello and welcome to my mobile interactive version of my fic recs! despite not having the time to actually sit down and read stories, i still have a pretty large collection of fics i enjoyed over the past couple of years of being in the kpop community! please send all of the writers mentioned love + likes, and support them and their stories! ♡

last updated ☞ 180717

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White Houses | HS Mini Fic | Chapter 1



Word Count 8.3k

Crashed on the floor when I moved in
This little bungalow with some strange new friends
Stay up too late, and I’m too thin
We promise each other it’s ‘til the end
Now we’re spinning empty bottles
It’s the five of us
With pretty eyed boys girls die to trust
I can’t resist the day
No, I can’t resist the day

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The House of Beasts, Part 3

Another update. I felt inspired today, and it actually came out really well! Here’s part 3. Happy Easter to all those who celebrate it, and happy sunday to those who don’t! Have a lovely day, nonetheless ;-)

Summary: Prythian University, the grounds where frat houses wage wars and throw the best parties yet. Feyre, an art student and girlfriend to the Head of House of the Spring House, discovers secrets everyone’s been keeping from her for the last year and a half. An ACOTAR/ACOMAF AU, which begins as Feylin then evolves into Feysand. Begins as ACOTAR, includes AU of Under the Mountain, but will focus more on Acomaf.

Word Count: 2555 words

Once again, thank you all for withholding any hate and supplying only constructive criticism (I really need it!) and sending any requests, suggestions, etc.  Disclaimer: All characters and some direct and or modified quotes belong to Sarah J Maas, as well as some of the plot points. I take no credit for them whatsoever

Part 3: Secrets

Once the weekend had blown over, a quiet Sunday spent with my music and my paints in the study room, school came back full swing on Monday. I’d planned my schedule so I had all my harder courses packed early in the week, so Thursday and Friday were much more relaxed and spaced out. Sometimes it was a blessing, lazy Friday mornings when all I wanted to do was get out of school and spend the night with Tamlin, and some days, like today, it was hell, and I had no motivation whatsoever to step foot into a single classroom. I stopped by the Good Bean, ordered a double shot of espresso, and hurried my way over to psych, planting myself in the back of the room with my laptop and my coffee, my fingers hovering over the overpriced keyboard of my Mac Book that Tamlin had bought me at the beginning of the year. A good start to the year, he’d called it.

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Moving On - Chapter 10

Originally posted by akookiepls

“Do I look ok?” Simon asked again as he stared at his own reflection on the glass wall in the office. He slightly turned his body left and right and examined himself from every angle whilst adjusting his jacket.

“You look fine!” I groaned while rolling my eyes at his insecurity. He must have asked that question more than three times already. 

“In my opinion the other jacket looked better,” Jay said in a serious tone, but it was obvious that he was only teasing his friend.

“Really? I think so too. Maybe I should change it?” He dropped his gaze to the black jacket which was lying on the couch. He was about to take his jacket off when I held him by his shoulders and pushed him towards the exit.

“Well, I think you should leave, if you don’t wanna be late on your first date.”

“You’re acting as if you’re going to propose to that girl tonight,” Ju Kyung said in a joking manner while laughing out loud. He was enjoying the nervous and insecure state of his friend so much that he even had a tear in his eyes from laughing.

“Don’t say that, he might really do that,” I shook my head at him vigorously.

“I would not!” Simon said appalled.


Well, you told Jihye that you loved her on your first date, so I wouldn’t put it past you,” Sunghwa joked, gaining laughter from all of us.

“I was intoxicated!” He defended himself within laughter.

“My boss is a total loser,” Hyuk Woo shook his head, pretending to be ashamed of him.

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Let Someday Begin

A Joshaya Fanfiction

Story by: @hoffkk

Requested by: Anonymous 1, Anonymous 2, and @neverlands-story


1. Hey! Can you write a one shot with this two songs: Maybe Someday and Let It Begin (both songs by Griffin Peterson from the soundtrack of the book “Maybe Someday”)? Where Maya sings Maybe Someday for Josh and some years later Josh sings Let It Begin for Maya?

2.  If you’ve seen SL2, could you please write a Joshaya fanfic where their ‘someday’ is over and Josh asks her out? And can you please make Josh all thoughtful where he asks Shawn and Katy for permission, totally pulling a Lucas move. Thanks a ton.

3.  can you write a joshaya one like the moment josh decides that someday is over and he makes his first real move on maya like she’s not expecting it and he’s like it’s finally some day

Notes: I managed to incorporate all three requests into one beautiful story.  I love how it turned out, and I hope you all do too!

Summary: Josh makes a special promise to Maya.  Years later, he comes to collect on that promise and much more, despite their meddling families getting in the way!


Maya smiled in excitement as she, Shawn, and a very pregnant Katy entered the student center in the middle of the New York University campus.  There was a charity event being hosted by the university where the music majors and professors put together a music festival for the public featuring all the different music majors’ skills and talents.  When Josh mentioned that he was performing with a couple of his buddies, the Matthews and Hunter clans bought tickets right away.  Maya was of course excited to see Josh, but she was also excited to be on campus.  NYU was her dream school.  She just sent in her application the other day and couldn’t wait to hear back.

She took in everything about the student center as she led the way upstairs to the ballroom where they found Riley and her family chatting with Josh’s parents. As the Hunters made their way over, they all began exchanging their hellos and how are yous and anticipation over seeing Josh perform.  After a minute, the conversation switched to Katy’s pregnancy and her upcoming due date.  That was when Riley pulled Maya to the side and squealed excitedly,

“NYU is SO cool! I can’t believe we may actually be students here next year!”

“I know, but first we have to actually be accepted.” Maya retorted, ever the realist.

“Oh, please! You are a shoe in with your artwork, and I have a good feeling that academic scholarship is coming my way. Come next year, we are gonna rule the school!”

“Whatever you say, Honey.” Maya smiled.

“I can picture it now… us sharing a dorm, eating lunch at the caf, and we can become Gamma sisters!” Riley beamed.

“I don’t think rushing is my thing, but the other stuff sounds good.” Maya relented, letting herself imagine what life would be like living on campus.

Suddenly, the lights started to flicker on and off slowly, the university’s way of saying the show was about to start.  Quickly, they all found their seats and waited.  One by one, the performances came and went, each one blowing Maya away. Some had one person, some had groups. The songs themselves ranged from classical and jazzy to country western to indie rock to rap and hip-hop and everything in between, some having lyrics to them, while others were purely instrumental. The one thing they all had in common was their amazing sound.

After about ten or song performances, Josh and his friends were announced.  The curtain opened and Maya smiled as she saw him standing there looking cuter than ever as he sat on a stool in a blue button down, dark-wash jeans, styled hair, and microphone in hand.  There were three guys with him on stage, one with an acoustic guitar, one behind a drum set, and another with smaller instruments that she couldn’t quite make out.  After a moment, the music began and Josh’s voice drifted over the audience…

“Seeing something from so far away
Get a little closer every day
Thinking that I want to make it mine
I’d run for you if I could stand
But what I want I can’t demand
Cuz what I want is you…”

Maya couldn’t believe what she was hearing.  His voice was amazing, light yet a little gravelly, but it was the lyrics that go to her. Was it possible that this song was about her?  What was she thinking ? Of course it wasn’t.  At least, that was what Maya was trying to convince herself, but then she heard the next few lyrics.

“And if I can’t be yours now
I’ll wait here on this ground
Til you come, til you take me away
Maybe someday
Maybe someday.”

When Josh sang the last two lines, looking directly into Maya’s bright blues, there wasn’t a doubt in Maya’s mind that this song was a promise to her.  Getting misty-eyed, she took a deep breath, squeezed Riley’s hand and listen to the rest of the song.  The song ended just as sweetly as it begin when Josh looked  at her once more and sang,

“And if I can’t be yours now
I’ll wait here on this ground
Til you come, til you take me away
Maybe someday
Maybe someday.”

As the sound of the instruments faded away shortly after, the crowd burst into applause.  Maya quickly wiped away a stray tear before joining her standing family and friends and clapping too.

After a minute, the curtain closed and a spotlight appeared on an older gentleman with shoulder length dark hair wearing a suit jacket and nice jeans.  He introduced himself as a professor of music, thanked, the crowd for coming out, and announced that it was time for intermission.

In response people stood to stretch their legs, use the bathroom, and get refreshments from the hall. Shawn took Katy to pee for the fourth time since they’d gotten there, while Maya joined the Matthews clan outside for some snacks.  They were taking in the assortment of goodies on the long table when a familiar voice called out,

“My brotha!”

They turned to find Josh standing there with a big smile on his face.  The Matthews all took turns hugging him and telling him what a good job he did performing, causing him to blush.  Once, his family got distracted once more by all the snacks, he strolled over to Maya.

Maya stared at him for a moment, admiring how the blue in his shirt brought out the blue in his eyes.

“So…” Josh said quietly, looking suddenly nervous as he shoved his hands inside his pockets.  "What did you think?“

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The Wishing Tree

So I’m writing this as a form of confession. Not because I’ve done anything wrong but because I’m gonna stand by and do nothing.

I guess my story starts way back when I was about 6 or 7. I was out playing in the back yard with my ball. Just hoofing it about when it went flying into my neighbours. The fence between the two houses was very tall to a seven year old and the only gap in it was next to a great big tree growing in the middle of the boundary fence. The fence had been erected either side as whoever originally built the houses had obviously decided the tree was too nice to cut down. So in my determined 7 year old way I slithered in between the tree and the fence nearly getting stuck and catching my leg on a nail on the way. I popped through with one final effort and was just about to inspect my wounds when a voice from under the tree said ‘You’re bleeding’. On further inspection, there sat a little girl roughly my age.

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The Costume Party

Summary: Professor Winchester’s and the reader’s Halloween doesn’t quite go as planned. Part of my Professor Winchester series.

Author: Dean’s Dirty Little Secret

Characters: Professor Dean Winchester x female reader

Word Count: 3113

Warnings: Language, smut, explicit sexual content, nsfw

Author’s Notes: Part of my Professor!Dean AU. The prompt for this was given to me by beauty-and-the-stitch. Happy early Halloween! Please see this post if you want an idea of what the costumes look like.

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My Always and Forever

This is my entry for @iwantthedean YouAU challenge.

Characters: RPF Jensen Ackles, Me (Joy), Mentions of the Ackles, Padaleckis, and a few others. Can be read as a reader insert as it is 1st POV

Words: 3105

Warnings: Fluff and angst

A/N: Please remember this is fiction.  No harm was meant to anyone.  This is just where my pen lead me.   Feedback always appreciated.

Forever tags: let me know if you want on or off   @whispersandwhiskerburn  @wi-deangirl77  @smoothdogsgirl  @zombi3gyrl07  @laurenw1025  @ashleymalfoy @iamflanneltrash  @kristaparadowski  @mrswhozeewhatsis  @plaidstiel-wormstache @atc74 

Jensen Ackles is my best friend.

When I was born in Dallas, Texas on March 2, 1978, my crib mate had already been chosen for me.  My mother and Donna Ackles were best friends and coincidentally, next door neighbors.

Being one day older, Jensen, “J”, had declared long ago that he was the boss.  Our mothers always said the competition between us started the day I was born.  He walked first.  I spoke first, “J” being my first word.  From there we tried to outdo each other in everything.  Who could climb higher, run faster, be better.  We pushed each other to be our best.

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We need to put value on and invest in real music again. We need to "respect" TRUE "artistry."

Another Grammys has come and gone.

And this year all anyone seems to be talking about is Beck winning ‘Album of the Year.’

The Beyonce fans of the world lost their chill and Kanye ran up onstage in “protest.” …Leave it to Kanye to “pull a Kanye.”

At first, I thought, 'Oh Lord, here we go again.’ But, he turned around and ran off the stage laughing. So, I thought, 'OK, he was making a joke.' 

…Lame joke, but a joke none-the-less.

And then, I woke up the next morning:



Then, I went online and saw tweet after tweet and blog after blog saying: “Beyonce was robbed!” “Beyonce sold millions of copies.” “Beyonce is well-known.” “Beyonce is music royalty.” “She deserved it.”

Alright, this needs to stop. 

Sit down, Kanye and lemming stans and let me educate you.

“Respect Artistry?”

Let’s be real…Michelangelo is art. Warhol is art.

To give a modern music example, what Sia does with her songs and music videos…is art.

Beyonce’s album is a dance-and-party-in-the-club album. And that’s OK. We need songs in life to rock out to and have fun with!

But, just because something sells well and is mainstream, doesn’t mean it’s better or deserves to win.

The Grammys are supposed to be about quality. 

It’s not a popularity contest.

I thought quite a few people nominated and not nominated, including Beck, deserved 'Album of the Year,’ not Beyonce. 

But, since it was Beck who won and many people seem to think he didn’t deserve to win, let’s just look at the facts concerning Beyonce and Beck’s albums.

I’ve always been under the impression that the best and truly deserving artists are the ones who tell honest stories through their music, play their own instruments, and write their own songs.

So let’s check it out…



Beck wrote AND composed ALL of his songs.

Beyonce had as many as 8 other writers on a song at once and 6 producers on a song at once helping compose her music.

Also, Beck knows how to play more than a dozen instruments, including guitar, keyboards, bass, drums, harmonica, percussion, sitar, banjo, slide guitar, twelve-string guitar, glockenspiel, vocoder, kalimba, and melodica. Beyonce, as far as I know, doesn’t play any.

Now, let’s explore the popularity of, the themes, and the visual aspects to their albums…


Beyonce is more popular and mainstream than Beck. Does that automatically make her better? No. It just means that more people are willing to let radio stations and the media dictate what they listen to, what is good, and who is popular.

In my opinion, the leading reason that this Beyonce album was as big as it was was because it was a surprise. She dropped it without telling anyone, social media blew up, and it was the talk of every entertainment news site. People flocked to buy it in its first hours. It was a thrill. An excitement. An experience. Beyonce fans bought into her and her team’s marketing tactic. She didn’t want to announce it, have time pass, and people’s interest wane before it even came out.

Lyrically and thematically…

In Beyonce’s self titled album, the majority of songs discuss her sex life with Jay-Z. (“Drunk in Love,” “Partition,” “Blow,” and “Rocket”) So creative and innovative. Songs about sex. That’s never been done before…

Two of the songs discuss a kind of trouble in paradise for her and Jay-Z, with implications of cheating and a husband straying (“Jealous” and “Mine”). Which doesn’t match up consistently with all the other songs where she talks about her wild, monogamous sex life and happy marriage. These songs disturb the flow of the album. Also, here is an excerpt of the lyrics from the song “Jealous.”

I’m in my penthouse half naked, I cooked this meal for you naked, So where the hell you at?

So thoughtful and deep…

One song (“Pretty Hurts”) talks about how society’s idea of perfection is damaging, which would have sent a really great message except for the fact that Beyonce is the one singing about it. This is the same woman who photoshopped her Instagram photo to give herself an unrealistic and unhealthy thigh gap…Great role model. She has a bangin’ body! Why is she photoshopping herself?!

Another song called “Flawless” is meant to be an empowerment anthem, but just comes off as a hollow attempt at feminism and is filled with themes of materialism and narcissism. Feminism is about helping those who are oppressed and lifting up other women, not talking about how much better you are than everyone else in your song lyrics.

In her song, “Haunted” she’s talks about how people are working hard in 9 to 5 jobs just to survive, and how bored she is in big record label meetings. Life as a famous, multi-million dollar, recording artist must be so hard… 

And don’t even get me started on the disturbing section in the song “Rocket” where she calls Jay-Z “daddy,” or Beyonce and Jay-Z referencing and laughing at the idea of Ike and Tina Turner in “Drunk in Love.” Because domestic abuse is so funny…


Beyonce’s music videos have become boring and overrated. She’s always wearing skin tight or skimpy outfits, like bikinis or leotards or lingerie. She’s always glaring sexily into the camera while gyrating about with fans blowing on her or her hair dripping wet. It’s just so cliched and overdone.


Beck’s only mainstream hit was the 1994 classic 'Loser.’ But, he has still stayed fairly popular among the underground and indie set for the past 20 years. This newest album, 'Morning Phase,’ has sold over 300,000 copies.

Many people were saying: “Who is Beck?” “Who is this nobody who beat Beyonce?”

Even 'Who Is Beck’ was trending on Twitter for several hours.  I thought it was just a joke because many older people were making jokes that the kids today wouldn’t know who Paul McCartney, AC/DC, and LL Cool J were. But, some people were actually serious! To which I say, how can you not know who Beck is? Yes, maybe you’ve never listened to his music before. But, to never have even heard his name spoken as part of the music industry on the radio or through entertainment news media? You have to be either 11 or completely living in your own little watered down, pop-centric, auto-tuned, mainstream radio world.

Not only this, but if you don’t even know who he is or listen to his music, then how can you criticize him or say Beyonce deserved to win?

Lyrically and thematically…

Beck’s album Morning Phase has hypnotic vocals and is so sonically cohesive. The songs of the album flow one into another forming a singular, long journey. It immerses the listener into a place where Beck questions how you live in this world when the world is so messed up. The songs wallow in a deep melancholy and delve into ideas of love, beauty, and resolve, the solutions to the problems we face.

Beck’s songs are introspective and the album starts and ends full-circle with the songs 'Morning’ and 'Waking Light,’ using the metaphor of a dawning morning to represent the new day, to represent reflection on the past and how to process it, to represent one’s questioning of the stage of life you are in.  It is deeply personal, yet written in a way that is completely universal and relatable.


Beck’s music videos always have a simple, quiet, natural feel to them. They’re metaphorical and thoughtful. No flashing lights. No choreographed dancing. No big budgets. Just a camera and a walk through nature.

So where does this leave us?

I’m not a snobby, music hipster who doesn’t listen to mainstream music. 

I also have nothing against Beyonce as a person. As you can see, I only constructively criticized and analyzed her current work. (i.e. lyrics, songs meanings, music video creative choices…etc.) I’m sure she’s very nice, although I don’t know her personally, nor do I know any celebrities, so I cannot speak for anyone’s character. 

I loved her earlier Dangerously in Love and Destiny’s Child eras. Her song Blue from her self-entitled album is very beautiful and I thought her Grammy performance of the old-school, gospel song, 'Take My Hand Precious Lord,“ was simple and stunning. Plus, Beyonce has great songs to jam to in the car or when you’re out dancing with friends. You can’t tell me you’ve never rocked out to Single Ladies while driving to work or doing laundry.

BUT, we need to be conscious of music that doesn’t get the recognition it deserves. Even if you’ve never heard of an artist or if you don’t personally like their music, that doesn’t mean that they didn’t create a beautiful piece of art.

So many people are blinded by their idolization of celebrities that they would follow them no matter what they do. Even if that means following them off of a cliff. (Did you know some Beyonce fans were sending death threats to Beck and starting petitions to strip him of his Grammy?! Crazy…) As a fan of something, you don’t have to ignorantly love everything that your favorite music artist says or sings. There are plenty of singers and musicians who create music that I love, but have things about them that I don’t like or particular songs I don’t enjoy. (There are things about Beck and songs of his that I don’t like.)


Part of being a receptive and conscious fan is being able to form your own opinion about things and criticize the things you love. If anything, I would say that those who are the best and most passionate fans have constructive criticism for their favorite shows, movies, and music.

Beyonce can’t be the winning music artist every single year. The mainstream public needs to learn to respect other artists and the work that they do.

In this era of Spotify not putting value on music as art and the public downloading, or even illegally stealing, single songs without experiencing full albums, we all need to learn to appreciate things that aren’t spoon-fed to us by corporate, music industry, marketing teams and the entertainment media. We need to support un-manufactured, true, music artists who tell their stories honestly, write their own music, and have real talent, without the likes of auto-tune.

We need to put value on and invest in real music again. We need to "respect” TRUE “artistry.”

the soul tattoo - eleven

pairing: Luke/Reader (Y/N)
rating: PG (there’s some swearing)

requested: yah

word count: 1300+

summary: If one day you woke up with a random tattoo on your body, you were destined to meet your soulmate soon. When (Y/N) finally gets her soul tattoo, she’s in for a shock when she finds out who her soulmate is.

one // two // three // four // five // six // seven // eight // nine // ten

Originally posted by sexycliffconda

(Your POV)

“You have his number?!” (Y/F/N) yelled. She was sitting right in front of me. I didn’t know why she had to yell. We were in my room eating ice cream and watching Netflix on my bed, when I finally decided to tell her the crazy shit that had happened today at work. 

I ended up taking a raincheck with my plans with Mikey. I couldn’t bear to hang out with him after just meeting Luke. It was just too weird and confusing.
So after work I went to this cute little ice cream shop on the corner near mine and (Y/F/N)’s apartment and bought two pints of my favorite ice cream, salted caramel, and a pint of (Y/F/N)’s favorite ice cream, mocha almond fudge. 

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The Wishing Tree

written by hrhdaf

So I’m writing this as a form of confession. Not because I’ve done anything wrong but because I’m gonna stand by and do nothing.

I guess my story starts way back when I was about 6 or 7. I was out playing in the back yard with my ball. Just hoofing it about when it went flying into my neighbours. The fence between the two houses was very tall to a seven year old and the only gap in it was next to a great big tree growing in the middle of the boundary fence. The fence had been erected either side as whoever originally built the houses had obviously decided the tree was too nice to cut down. So in my determined 7 year old way I slithered in between the tree and the fence nearly getting stuck and catching my leg on a nail on the way. I popped through with one final effort and was just about to inspect my wounds when a voice from under the tree said ‘You’re bleeding’. On further inspection, there sat a little girl roughly my age.

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1989 Raleigh Reflections

Dear Taylor,

First of all, I want to say that my thoughts here are in no way for sympathy or special attention, but, just to relate my experiences. I realize that I am one among thousands and millions of Taylor fans on social media. :)

Last Tuesday night I took my sister and 16 yr old twin nieces to see you in Raleigh. It was my first show of the new tour and their first Taylor show ever. I drove 12 hours to get to my NC hometown where they live and we drove 90 miles from there to Raleigh. It was worth every minute of the driving and I would do it again, in a heartbeat. We could not even come close to containing our excitement.

I had bought headbands and we had fun picking out outfits and doing our hair with the headbands we each picked out. This was their very first trip to see a big arena concert and I always wanted it to be you, Taylor. They all adore you and your music and it had long been a bucket list item of mine to take them to see you. It came true.

We left in plenty of time to arrive early and have time for visiting the booths including Keds and Taylor Nation. Sadly, when we arrived, we were told that even though the show started at 730, doors to the arena (for both booths and seats) would not open until 6. It was 93 degrees and awful humidity with not a breeze stirring. We finally got in, hit the bathroom, got water, and ran to Taylor Nation booth. The line was already almost all the way around the arena. We were so sad bc there was no way we could make it through the line in time for showtime. 😭 I had even gotten a tweet from Taylor Nation saying they had their hug arms ready for my hug. 😘 One of my nieces has mild cerebral palsy and she could not stand in that long of a line even if we could have made it through before showtime. Anyway, we sucked it up and found our way to the merch stands and got tshirts! The girls were beaming with joy at finally being able to pick out a Taylor tshirt. 🙌🏼🙌🏼 It was so cute.

We made our way to our seats and waited for the show to begin. We had seats of two and two about 6 rows apart in nosebleeds, but, we didn’t care. WE WERE THERE TOGETHER!!! The show came on and we all went into immediate TAYLOR SWIFT FANGIRL mode. I have never seen my nieces with that much joy on their faces. Mine was quite joyous, too, and so was my sister’s. :))

The girls were born at 20 weeks gestation and have had many developmental issues to deal with in their lives, both physical and cognitive. They have always had special education classes and have struggled with so many things that you and I take for granted. Through it all, they have persevered and conquered. I am so very proud of them both. I give you this background on them, so you will get what I mean when I say that your show was a true oasis for them and it gave them the chance to shine just like every other teenager there. They fit in and appeared no different than any other kid. They sang every word and danced their hearts out and had the most amazing night. We all did. Music is their thing. Like most of us in the universe, they find themselves in music…joy, healing, sameness, differences, beauty, peace. Seeing them at your concert was such a huge highlight of my life. As the last song ended and Shake It Off was finished, one of the girls turned to me and said, “This is the most fun I have ever had in my entire life”. Imagine what that comment does to an Aunt’s heart. I was beyond touched and filled with so much raw emotion. Anyway, I know this is long and wordy and I apologize. The show was incredible, Taylor. We had the time of our lives. We really did. I wanted us to make memories together to last a lifetime and I came away feeling confident that we accomplished that.

I have been a fan since the very first single from the first album and have seen every tour. This one will stand out as a beautiful first with the family. I’m so sorry we did not get to meet the people of Taylor Nation. We tried our hearts out.

I will be at both Nashville shows and also in Atlanta. Since this era seems to be the one in which so many dreams are coming true, I would like to take this chance to ask to meet you. I have never met you and would absolutely freak at the chance to tell you what you have meant in my life. Supporting you all these years has been a true pleasure and a highlight of my life. I do hope I get to tell you this in person and give you the biggest hug ever.

Thank you for being you and for working so hard to make fan dreams come true. Thank you for the incredible music. You are in a class all your own. No one out there treats fans like friends. Some say they do, but, none truly DO IT like you do, Taylor. I can never thank you enough for being a real part of our lives. I love you so much.


The Wishing Tree

Child abuse/domestic violence TW

So I’m writing this as a form of confession. Not because I’ve done anything wrong but because I’m gonna stand by and do nothing.

I guess my story starts way back when I was about 6 or 7. I was out playing in the back yard with my ball. Just hoofing it about when it went flying into my neighbours. The fence between the two houses was very tall to a seven year old and the only gap in it was next to a great big tree growing in the middle of the boundary fence. The fence had been erected either side as whoever originally built the houses had obviously decided the tree was too nice to cut down. So in my determined 7 year old way I slithered in between the tree and the fence nearly getting stuck and catching my leg on a nail on the way. I popped through with one final effort and was just about to inspect my wounds when a voice from under the tree said ‘You’re bleeding’. On further inspection, there sat a little girl roughly my age.

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Very long NB interview. Lots re Zayn

Naughty Boy’s recording studio is, on entry, an almighty dump. True to the spirit of a teenage boy’s bedroom, it’s painted in gloopy black with towers of clutter Jenga-ing on every surface and wall: a tableful of San Pellegrino, a Nerf gun, a terrible painting of Marlon Brando as the Godfather, boxfresh trainers, stacks of Heat magazines, a Tutankhamun mask, an Ivor Novello award, the Book of Answers resting under an expensive, optimistically lit, candle. It’s difficult to believe that Emeli Sandé and Sam Smith have sung their sizeable lungs out here to make career-defining records. Much less that Mary J Blige was in this room a few weeks ago, eating shepherd’s pie, homemade by her host.

“She liked it! She was sat right there,” he points to the Keep Calm … cushion next to me. “It’s mental, but this has to be somewhere I’m comfortable so that artists can relax. They won’t open up to you willy-nilly; you’ve got to work at it.

Beyoncé turns up on new Naughty Boy track Runnin’ (Lose it All) – listen
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“I bought you cupcakes,” he says, looking at the picnic of red velvets between us. “Have some.” I scoff one (it’s stale) to diffuse any residual tension; a minute in, I had to ask his manager to leave the room, and as if on cue, Naughty Boy’s Mac has begun blaring a virus warning, ominously claiming its security is compromised. Given that it’s the machine he’s masterminded new Beyoncé material on, he seems distinctly unbothered. “Nah, it’s lying,” he says, clicking off. “It’s fine, really. It’s because I’ve been watching episodes of Community on it …”

But, anyway, to Beyoncé. Naughty Boy (actual name, Shahid Khan, and actual age, 30), has just released the lead single off his new album featuring the most famous female pop star on the planet. At the time of writing, the video for Runnin’ (Lose It All) has clocked 13m views in as many days on Vevo, with 3m+ plays of the song on Spotify. It’s weapons-grade Khan production: slick, anthemic pop built around the kind of epic chorus uplifting telly montages are made for. With Beyoncé. Needless to say, it went straight in at No 1. “The stars aligned,” he says, when I ask him how on earth he got here. Come off it, I heard him say the same thing on Lorraine the morning before; how did a Watford lad so apparently disinterested in celebrity and fame (a reoccurring, if at times contradictory, Naughty Boy conversational trope) manage to blag a collaboration with Bey?

Well, Beyoncé called me directly, a month ago.” And? “And, I was on the motorway, coming here from my friend’s studio. I was literally told that ‘Beyoncé’s gonna call!’ and that she didn’t want to go through the label or managers or anything.” Blimey. That must have been quite a moment. “There’s no point in me getting fangirl about it,” says Khan, chewing loudly on cola jellies. “It’s unprofessional. She’s the queen. You don’t ask the queen to be on your song but … yeah, we spoke for 20 minutes,” he adds, super casually. (Later, I bug him to read me her texts and he admits: “It’s boss shit. She just signs off with a B.”) As the rest of the story goes, Khan met Arrow Benjamin on the stairs to his studio, they worked on the track together, then an unfinished version was played to Beyoncé by her publisher. She rewrote some of the lyrics, recorded the vocal in New York and sent it over.

It’s a remarkable coup for Khan. His 2012 single La La La (featuring Smith) went to No 1, and his 2013 album Hotel Cabana, which featured Bastille and Tinie Tempah, as well as Smith and Sandé, sold more than a million copies. But Khan only really came to wider public attention in the last year, popping up in tabloid-feeding spats. His very public fallout with Zayn Malik, former one-fifth of One Direction, hangs heavily in the air; Khan has been fobbing off the press so far, hoping everyone will kindly bog off and not ask him why, in July, Malik cruelly tweeted: “@NaughtyBoyMusic you fat joke stop pretending we’re friends no one knows you.”

Their friendship has been heavily documented on social media since they met at the Brits last year and Khan faced a spectacular level of internet hate from 1D superfans every time he posted photos of them hanging out: sharing a bunk bed in Bradford at Malik’s aunt’s house, smoking and chilling in Khan’s Ealing studio, wearing matching #zaughty tracksuits (custom-made by Khan). It got worse once it was clear the rest of 1D didn’t much like him either. (Sample Twitter exchange, between Louis Tomlinson and Khan: “@NaughtyBoyMusic Jesus forgot you were such an in demand producer …. How does it feel to be riding on the back of someone else’s career?” And Khan to Tomlinson: “@Louis_Tomlinson Yeah how does it feel mate? You’ve been doing that for the last five years … I’ve got Emeli Sande and Sam Smith on my CV.” ) And got worse still, when Malik left One Direction in March and Khan, referred to by Popjustice as “occasional producer, and Zayn Malik superfan”, became 1D’s Yoko Ono.

People thought we were cooking something, plotting – we were just chilling. Swear,” Khan says today. “He just left the biggest pop band in the world, he needed a mate and I was a mate. We’re not the kind of business-savvy heads people were assuming we were. We were in a bubble and didn’t realise the magnitude.”

Khan is savvy, though. A music and marketing dropout from London’s Guildhall University, he was delivering pizzas for Domino’s in 2007 when he appeared on Deal or No Deal and walked away with £44,000; the cash meant he could invest in equipment and a studio in the shed of his parents’ garden in Watford. “Half of Emeli’s [platinum-selling] album was recorded on a Dell PC in that shed.” Khan tells me, a few times, that he never wanted to be famous but would rather have maintained an old-school pop mystery. But as far as swaths of the internet is concerned, he exploited his friendship with Malik by putting it online and getting in the press.

“Yeah, but I’m friends with lots of celebrities,” he says. “With Zayn, it was different because we were genuinely best friends doing the best friend thing. You won’t see me do that with anyone else. I don’t Instagram or tweet pictures when people come here for sessions, I think it was genuinely an exciting time – for him as well.” What did they bond over? “Initially, I think it was because we’re both from working-class Pakistani communities and were both thrown into this business. His [success was] more instant than mine, and on a different scale, obviously. But understanding that this place isn’t real, and connecting. Probably it was also a need to make a real friend in this business for both of us. Like someone real, from home.”

Khan tries hard to stay as normal as possible, despite his life often being at odds with everyone around him. “I made a pact with Emeli, after one particular night at Shoreditch House with all these other ‘celebrities’: never to do it again. Me and Emeli left, thinking, ‘What are we becoming? Never again’ I don’t want to be that.” And so when he’s not in a hotel or sleeping in his studio (he works at night), Khan lives at home with his mum, a housewife, and his dad, a retired taxi driver. “I’ve paid their mortgage off and they never have to worry again, but I’m the youngest in the family,” he says, as if the implication is obvious. “The tradition is that you live with your parents.” Khan’s older brother runs a beauty salon with his wife; his older sister is a makeup artist. The day after we speak, he’ll go to Eid prayers at the same mosque he always has, and hang out with the friends and family he grew up with. “Every time it gets more intense going back [to the mosque]. My selfie game has had to increase by 100 million per cent!” How have people changed around him? “There’s so much love, but there’s also a bit of edge - the Pakistani community is like your girlfriend being a bit miffed when you don’t spend enough time with her.”

Khan codeswitches easily enough, for the most part, between the two worlds – sometimes without choice. “America, they hold me [at the airport] for two to three hours every time. I’ll have a class-A visa sponsored by Sony, but they’ll do it and never give you a reason. You’re just there in a room, always with the same kind of people – Hispanics, Muslims, African Americans – and [immigration officials] might say, ‘Oh, it’s because of your surname’. But fucking hell, Khan?! At what point are we allowed to stop feeling bad for being Muslims?”

As for Malik, he trusts that things will eventually resolve themselves “because the friendship was real”.

“We sat here and watched Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham once [a 2001 Bollywood blockbuster], I just remember thinking: ‘I’m actually watching this movie with someone in the business, someone who gets it, the emotional trauma of Asian families and we both go through it.’ And I thought, ‘This is cool’. You can’t put a Bollywood film in front of anyone without them laughing their head off.”

The pair were, he says, supposed to be working on a song for a Bollywood soundtrack together. “I got approached by Shah Rukh Khan earlier this year. He’s doing Dilwale 2.” For reference, that is the industry’s single biggest star making its biggest sequel of the decade. “Yeah, I feel bad. But since me and Zayn fell out, my heart isn’t really in it.”

Does he miss him?

“I did, for a bit, not gonna lie. I was literally always at his house or here. You know what, the thing is, even when you become close with someone, you question everything as well. That this is a business, so the band splitting up and him leaving, it’s an economy. Our friendship was genuine, 100%. But then you have other relationships with lawyers and labels etc. I don’t think we actually fell out over the lack of friendship or trust, I think it was external influences.”

It’s not because, a couple of hours before Malik publicly terminated their friendship, Khan leaked a video online of unheard Zayn Malik material?

“I didn’t leak the video,” says Khan, frustrated, begins furiously rubbing his nose. “I didn’t leak the video,” he says again. But, I say gently, you can see your reflection on the TV screen, holding your mobile, filming it?

“I didn’t leak it. Krept, who is on the tune with Zayn, Snapchatted it. No one put it on YouTube or nothing. I genuinely didn’t leak the video.” He trails off. “To be honest, it was a bit late to leak the video, the song was old by then, y’know?”

What was the big betrayal, then?

“That wasn’t … that wasn’t … that was just him throwing his toys out of the pram. We fell out over something else.”

Something else? “Yeah,” he pauses, hoping I’ll shut up. “Something else.”

He’s obviously bruised by the fallout. Why not just pick up the phone and call him?

“I don’t think now’s the time, though. I think Zayn’s incredibly talented and his voice is amazing and the world doesn’t know that yet. The world doesn’t know how gifted he actually is, so I think the best thing for him to do now is to go a bit radio silent and let the music do the talking, because then he won’t have to get into Twitter wars with Calvin Harris or me, or whoever. There’s no music out there, so right now he’s just the guy who left One Direction, but I know different, because I know him.” He nods at his possibly corrupted, virus-inflicted Mac. “The music’s there, on the hard drive.”

I don’t know I believe an awful lot especially when a mgr was there with him but yeah I do think there was something around this that we may never discover. I do also believe they were mates perhaps not as close as he suggests but I do think they were, maybe still are. I also think Liam spent time at the studio when Zayn was there as well. I think time may reveal more but while NB is with syco after the boys arent hopefully then itll be hard to get the truth.
‘A Must For The Holidays’ (Not Done Yet Falling For You Christmas Special #3)

On the third day of Christmas herewithmeharry gave to me… a friendly competition involving gingerbread houses.

previous one shots

               Gingerbread houses had always been a must for you during the holidays. Sitting down at the kitchen table on an afternoon in December and assembling the pieces that came in the kit bought at the local store made you feel relaxed and content. You loved working on it for hours in an effort to make it better than the previous year’s gingerbread house. Even when you had reached the age where Christmas starts to lose a tiny bit of its magic and moved out of your parents’ home, you never missed an opportunity to decorate a house for a few little gingerbread men. You had even decorated quite a few of them in your small apartment next to the university campus with Callie while Home Alone played on the television. Now, you found yourself sitting at the kitchen table of your own home, kids encircling you as you took out the two gingerbread house kits that you had purchased at the local Waitrose.

               “I wanna do this one!” Amelia’s little hands grabbed at one of two boxes, bringing it closer to her for inspection. She observed the scenery on the front of the red box, fingertips running over the picture of a perfectly assembled house made of gingerbread and decorated with multiple types of colourful candies.

               “Then I get this one!” Oliver chirped, clutching the other box set out on the table. They had been begging Harry and you for days to decorate the houses, a week into the month of December already being too long of a wait. Oliver had been the first to bring it up one morning on his ride to school, questioning his dad from the backseat on when you planned to get the necessary pieces to build and embellish the cookie homes.

               “They’re the same ones, loves.” You pointed out with a giggle, clearing the mess of colouring books and crayons Amelia had left behind just before getting distracted by your plans for the afternoon. You saw them try to open their boxes with difficulty, taking a seat between the both of them.

               “Mummy, can you open it please?” Amelia looked up at you with her big eyes, hands holding out the box she was so desperately trying to get into. You gladly accepted to help, having to tell Oliver to wait his turn as he pushed his box towards you for equal help. Harry walked into the room in time to help the eager boy, having been occupied with putting the twins down for their afternoon nap.

               “Ask Daddy for help, bubs.” You suggested, turning Oliver’s attention to his dad with the point of your finger. Harry approached the table, eyebrows creased in confusion as he inspected what you were doing and what his son needed his assistance with.

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