A moment of silence.

For the failure of Simon Cowell at trying to recreate One Direction: 

Nu Vibe (2011)

Simon just straight up thought he could catch lightning in a bottle twice in 2 years by doing the exact same thing as 2010. Nu Vibe were a five-piece boy band whose members successfully auditioned as soloists, but they were knocked out of the competition at the bootcamp stage. The judges then called them back and put them together as a group.

Union Jay (2012)

Union Jay was a little different, but still a manufactured group made up of a rejected 3-piece band and a rejected solo act who they just added to the existing 3-piece. 

Kingsland Road (2013)

Kingsland Road were an English rock and roll-style and urban-inspired funk and disco boy band formed in 2012.

Stereo Kicks & Overload Generation (2014)

Frustrated, Simon was just throwing shit at the wall at this point, putting 2 boy bands in the live shows.

In 2015, Simon decided fuck it, and tried to recreate Little Mix instead. He failed here, too.

Yes Lad (2016)

Desperate, Simon took embarrassment to new, unchartered waters with the latest imitation of One Direction.

anyway, instead of being a conniving, somewhat secretive but still sort of obvious evil overlord and use those classic boy band stereotypes to create his New 1D, simon just decided to throw all subtlety out the window and say: “look! it’s the exact same characteristics that we think made you love one direction because we don’t understand the fans at all, only they’re now being applied to five bland pasty white guys who i still have the chance to control!”

Never forget how desperate and stagnant Simon Cowell is.