mine:ttoi

Apparently it’s Tucker Tuesday so have an edit of the best defense plea ever written for TV.

[Image: Bold white text overlaying a cap of Peter Capaldi as Malcolm Tucker.
“The exchange of private information, that is what drives our economy. But you come after me because you can’t arrest a landmass, you can’t cuff a country. But you decide that you can sit there, and you can judge, and you can ogle me like a page three girl. You don’t like it, well, you don’t like yourself. You don’t like your species, and you know what, neither do I. But how dare you come and lay this at my door, how dare you blame me for this, which is the result of a political class which has given up on morality and simply pursues popularity at all cost. I am you and you are me.”]

anonymous asked:

Hi - after rewatching TTOI last week I started thinking about Malcolm's career choices (among other things) and why he didn't decide to become an actual politician. He's intelligent, probably charming enough to get votes whilst still being able to act ruthlessly when necessary, and has at least some sense of morality. I suppose if his previous job was in journalism or something similar then that might explain why he got into dealing with the media. I don't know.

Apologies, Anon (if you are even still out there) for the shamefully long time it has taken me to reply to this. Hmmm, I can’t say I’ve questioned Malcolm’s career choice in terms of him wanting a behind-the-scenes Number 10 government job rather than choosing to go into the elected side of  politics.

To start at the end, in UK politics being involved with journalism before (or indeed while) being an MP is not at all unusual so I don’t think that would be the deciding factor for Malcolm.

No, I think for him the deciding factor would simply be a) did Malcolm want to be the one being shouted at? or b) did Malcolm want to be the one doing the shouting? Because I think there is only one answer to that and we all know what it is.

(Although the other side of that is Malcolm as Director of Communications for Number 10 really only has the authority to shout at elected politicians if they are cabinet ministers like Hugh and Nicola and junior ministers like Ben or former cabinet ministers that he’d sacked like Cliff or put out by the bins persuaded to resign like Geoff Holhurst. So if he were on the backbenches with the majority of MPs – like Nicola before her unexpected elevation – almost certainly no one at Number 10 would care enough/even know enough about his existence to shout at him which I’m sure would be intolerable in its own way.)

Malcolm is also pretty consistent in his dislike of being known about by people outside of Westminster – although I think that no matter how much he protests that he doesn’t want the public to know about him he does get a bit of a thrill from even the most negative newspaper article written specifically about him

(which is pretty much every article written specifically about him) because it means he IS Very!Important! which has to be a great big ego boost.

On the other hand though, he pretty much doesn’t trust or like the public at all

and never wants to have anything to do with them if he can help it.

Yes, he can be charming with regular people when he needs to be like with Geordie Julie the Merry Fucking Widow in 303,

(or even telemarketers)

but only when he needs to be (see also Geordie Julie the Merry Fucking Widow literally two minutes later in 303)

and especially Middle England Mary the Actress in 102

although of course in that case Malcolm was in EXTREME need of a nap) and I can’t imagine he has the slightest interest in the public as individuals or in dealing with them on a day to day basis as he would have to (or should anyway) as an MP. I’m thinking about Simon Foster and his disastrous constituency surgeries in In the Loop

and trying to imagine if it were Malcolm instead and…nope, can’t do it.

(Although on the other hand if Malcolm were an MP and Sam was still his PA, I’m sure she would have had English Begbie Alan Partridge’s problem with the constituency wall sorted out in a trice.)

Malcolm’s first loyalty after himself – and be let’s honest about the order – is to the Party in general and I would say the first unnamed PM (“Boss”) in particular. What interests Malcolm is making sure the party stays strong and for him that means making sure the party’s message (whatever it may be at any particular moment which may well completely contradict what it was five minutes ago)

is being sold just the way he wants it to be.

At least in the glory days, Malcolm’s position at Number 10 gave him to a greater and lesser degree power over politicians AND the press.  Politicians – and the occasional unfortunate civil servant – only got to say the lines but Malcolm got to create them and then use all of his considerable powers of charm and persuasion and force of personality to MAKE people sell them

even when they really really Sweary Woman of Whitehall TERRI! really really don’t want to.

Just look at Malcolm’s 8:30s when he’s at the height of his power. Is any MP in TTOI who is not the unnamed PM ever as satisfied as Malcolm is here

laying down the law to the ministerial minions?


Oh I don’t think so.

2

It’s funny because it’s true.

(But, you know what, I’m not going to give in to despair. Because 1) there are WAY more of us than there are of them and 2) seriously, fuck that guy.)

5

Graves: I just wanted to say to you, by way of introductory remarks, that I am extremely miffed about today’s events and, in my quest to try and make you understand the level of my unhappiness, I’m likely to use an awful lot of what we would call “Violent Sexual Imagery”, and I just wanted to check that neither of you would be terribly offended by that.

(The Thick of It; series 3, episode 2) 

7

See, Malcolm’s not just a man of principle, he’s also an incredibly *generous* man for apparently only entertaining the possibility of his lying involving an OR rather than automatically deciding it must be an AND.

(Or rather, many many ANDs – since he is after all talking about lying to save the skin of a politician.)