one day

one day I’ll have travelled the world and written a book and have enough money and experiences to live on and I can go back to uni and actually see it through and feel good because I’ll be doing something productive with my life

and I’ll live in a cute little flat, with someone or alone, and there’ll be polaroids on the walls and flowers on the windowsills and stuffed bookshelves in every room and big windows with lacy curtains and fairy lights around the doors

and I’ll be organised at uni - I’ll structure my classes and my homework and be there from a certain time to a certain time every day even if I don’t have class so I can study, and then on weekends I can catch up on work or write

I can dream

tagged by @astralseed thank you very much <3

rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better.

nickname: geracchi

star sign: aquarius

height: 163cm

time right now: 18:08/6:08pm

last thing googled: google maps

favorite music artists: oh i guess The Last Shadow Puppets, Arctic Monkeys, Twenty One Pilots

song stuck in your head:  Nanjou Yoshino & Kusuda Aina–Garasu no Hanazono

last movie watched: Suicide Squad

last tv show watched: Brooklyn 99

what are you wearing right now: a t-shirt and shorts

when did you create your blog: i think i created it in 2013

what kind of stuff do you post: i reblog a lot of anime, photography, band stuff. as for my own posts i do lyrics edit and sometimes i can do some anime edits

do you have any other blogs: no

do you get asks regularly: also no

why did you choose your URL: its my nickname~

gender: female

hogwarts house: as told by pottermore.com i’m in slytherin

pokemon team: i don’t play it

favorite color: red

average hours of sleep: now its 8-10 hours 

lucky number: 4

favorite character(s): Kuroo Tetsurou, Illumi Zoldyck

how many blankets do you sleep with: 1

dream job: interpreter

Following: i follow 250 blogs

20 blogs you would like to get to know better: @tobiomilkclub @dziosmu @dazaosa @shinyikes @freezinrain

I am twenty-five years old,

and whenever I tell a child this, or tell a peer, I get a weird feeling, from which blossoms a weird face, like Mr. Yuck from the chemical bottles, like the emoticon XQ that my friends invented where the tail on the Q is either a tongue or vomit, depending on the font.
I make this face because 25 seems way too old for how I feel.
Bjork described herself this way once:

I am half child, half ancient.

in which i find a kind of kinship;
something with a small body and a free spirit and a mind full of forgetfulness and the unexpected,
a creature within snuggling distance of one of life’s bookends,
a creature with a secret and bright eyes.

I am twenty-five years old,

the average life expectancy of a trans woman of color in the U.S.
and whenever I read that fact something in me heaves like a hard stop in a car.
and every day a new small thing reminds me that I am living on time that has been lent to me by the fists and feet of strangers.
that without my whiteness I might already be dead.
that if I were missing just one layer of my ghillie suit,
my massachusetts zip code,
my keep-to-myselfness,
they might find me
and come collect.

I am twenty-five years old,

and tomorrow I go to church with my dad for the first time…ever?, to see a family friend preach “on trans issues”
and I’m sure it’ll be okay, I’m sure, and if for some bizarre reason it turns out that it isn’t,
I will turn my cowardice into something performative and strong and I will walk out, but I’m not worried.
I get to live so little of my life in worry.
and next week or so I will come out to the little ones at work
and their parents
and there will be no more secrets.

(and yes I’m worried about that.)