The Jacob Romance in ME3 in a Nutshell:

Shepard: Hi Jacob, I’ve really missed you the last six months. How have you been?

Jacob: Oh hey Shepard, six months was sort of a long time so the ex-Cerberus scientist you met and I are in love now and she’s pregnant with my child. We might name it after you.


Things Shepard falls off, through, and into in ME3

• The roof on the way to the shuttle port during the Reaper attack
• A bridge on Tuchanka
• A turian barricade
• Through a fucking fish tank
• Down the side of a building directly after the fish tank
• A structurally unsound krogan base
• Into a hole in the ground in an asari temple
• A ledge on the Rannoch base
• A walkway on a geth dreadnought
• Grace and dignity when they danced in front of everyone

  • you: Lair of the Shadow Broker is definitely the best DLC because it's unique, complex, and adds a really interesting extra dimension to mass effect 2 and the continuation of the story, particularly in terms of Liara's character development
  • me, an intellectual: Citadel is the best DLC because of drunk Grunt crying in the shower about how Turians look like cats