The signs as things that would be better than Donald Trump

Aries: a dead fucking leaf

Taurus: the creator of Jumanji

Gemini: Spock

Cancer: Steven Universe himself

Leo: bubble wrap that has already been popped

Virgo: Donald Trump’s hair

Libra: a piece of poop that won’t flush

Scorpio: The Shredder

Sagittarius: a Subaru Outback

Capricorn: a garbage can

Aquarius: a comical amount of cabbage

Pisces: a monkey