There’s a reason I said I’d be happy alone. It wasn’t cause I thought I’d be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It’s easier to be alone because what if you learn that you need love and then you don’t have it. What if you like it, and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It’s like dying. The only difference is, death ends. This? It could go on forever.
—  Meredith Grey

“We say ‘We’re sorry for you loss”. And we hope it offers something. Some little bit of support. Some bit of piece. Some bit of closure. Something good. Some little piece of beauty in the midst of some place dark. And unexpected gift. Just when it’s needed most. “

If you honestly don’t think that Arizona was emotionally and mentally abusive towards Callie on multiple occasions get away from me. 

She berated her for being bisexual multiple times, putting her own insecurity and straight out biphobic jealousy before Callie’s feelings and mental health. And after the plane crash she screamed at her multiple times, talked down to her as if she was nothing, and then cheated on her. And after being caught cheating she made it all about her and basically told Callie it was her fault because of the leg. 

She’s constantly gaslighting Callie. Making her feelings seem insignificant or wrong compared to her own. Callie lost Mark in the crash and Arizona straight out yelled at her, invalidated her feelings about losing her best friend and child’s father, and told her “she didn’t lose anything." 

And, on a side-note, she basically told Karev he was a shitty person compared to her and that he should have been the one in the plane crash even though 1) she’s one of the most selfish characters on this show and 2) she’s the one that didn’t allow Karev to get on the plane because she was mad that he was possibly advancing his career and leaving her behind. 

And after all of this, she never has truly apologized. She’s never apologized to Callie for undermining and belittling her sexuality. She’s never apologized for emotionally abusing her after the crash. She never apologized to Karev. And after all of this she’s still selfish as fuck. If you don’t see how she is abusive and how the writers have neglected to deal with that properly, you are blind.