mine:bleach

Bleach

What I watched

Originally posted by caracol-inc

What I expected

Originally posted by bloo5899

Originally posted by bleachallmysoul

Originally posted by chunli

What I got

Originally posted by amistrated

Originally posted by elifusushai

Originally posted by chunli

Originally posted by wazka126

And I don’t care what people say

Originally posted by shinigamicode

Originally posted by bleachallmysoul

These guys are my fucking ships!

Bleach characters react to a bird that WON’T STOP CHIRPING outside their window


As requested by anon. :)


Ah, nothing like waking up to the gentle sound of birds chirping outside your window! Unless, of course, you weren’t planning on waking up. And unless it’s less “gentle chirping” and more “bird screaming his ever-loving head off to greet the sun and oh god how many birds are there??” Then it might be a problem. So how would various Bleach characters react to this problem?


1. Ulquiorra

Birds: [aggressively singing their good morning song]

Ulquiorra: Birds…listen.

Ulquiorra: If you do not cease your chirping, I will kill every one of your friends.

Birds: [ignoring him because of the joy of chirping]

Ulquiorra: Birds, this is not a negotiation but an order.

Birds: [ignoring him because of the joy of chirping]

Ulquiorra: You alone hold the noose that…

Birds: [chirping]

Ulquiorra: …that…

Birds: [chirping]

Ulquiorra: …

Ulquiorra: Birds you are killing my mystique here.


2. Hiyori

Hiyori: I said SHUT THE FUCK UP BIRDS!!!!!!!

Hiyori: [aggressively hurls flipflop out of open window]

Birds: [ignore shoe because of chirping]

Shinji (from outside window): Uh, Hiyori? Are you aware that there is a ten foot pile of flipflops out here?

Hiyori: I FUCKING HATE BIRDS

Shinji: …how many flipflops do you have?


3. Urahara Shoten

Birds: [greeting the sun at the top of their tiny bird lungs]

Urahara: Those birds sure are…talkative this morning.

Tessai: I will take care of it, boss.

Tessai: [goes outside]

Tessai: [lifts entire tree out of ground]

Tessai: [carries tree to new location]

Birds: …

Urahara: That works, I guess!


4. Orihime

Tatsuki: Orihime! Why do you look so sad and tired this morning?

Orihime: I-I’m not sad and tired!

Tatsuki: Orihime…

Orihime: I-it’s just that there was this bird outside my window yesterday that wouldn’t stop chirping.

Orihime: He sounded hungry.

Orihime: Or maybe I was hungry?

Orihime: But anyway I gave him some of my bread from the bakery! He was so happy!

Tatsuki: You didn’t!

Orihime: Yeah…so this morning there were like fifty birds outside my window singing the bread song.

Tatsuki: I think you should stay with me for a while!


5. Renji

Renji: SUNGLASSES

Ginjiro (the guy who sells Renji all of his sunglasses): Did you break yours already, Abarai?

Renji: NO

Renji: I NEED TWENTY PAIRS OF VERY TINY SUNGLASSES PLEASE

Ginjiro: …why?

Renji: BECAUSE IF THEY BELIEVE THAT IT IS STILL NIGHT THEN MAYBE THEY WILL STOP WITH THE ENDLESS ENDLESS CHIRPING

Ginjiro: …

Renji: THE ENDLESS CHIRPING MAN


6. Yachiru

Birds: [immersed in their chorus of chirping]

Yachiru (suddenly appearing on the branch with them): Hi!

Birds: [scattering in a confused cloud of confused birds]

Yachiru: Bye birds!


7. Aizen

Gin: So…is there a reason you are putting an egg on your windowsill, Captain Aizen?

Aizen: It is merely the first step in my plan, Gin.

Aizen: Once the noisy birds outside of my window realize that I have kidnapped their precious egg, they will be under my control.

Gin: Interesting plan…but that appears to be an egg from the grocery store.

Aizen: It’s not like birds know the difference.

Gin: It’s stamped with a label.

Aizen: Birds can’t read, Gin!

Gin: …

Gin: Maybe you need a new strategy.

Aizen: KIDNAPPING ALWAYS WORKS


8. Nnoitra & Tesla

Birds: [screaming the song of Hueco Mundo]

Tesla: I will take care of it, Nnoitra-sama!

Tesla: I’ll just -

Nnoitra: THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING, TESLA?! HOW DARE YOU THINK THAT I NEED HELP WITH BIRDS?!?!?!

Birds: [scattering in fear of the yelling]

Tesla: …

Tesla: Nice job, Nnoitra-sama!


9. Grimmjow

Ichigo: Uh, dude? Are you okay? You’re kinda nodding off there.

Grimmjow: Every morning they return.

Grimmjow: Every morning I use my sonic wave and they scatter.

Grimmjow: But the next morning…they are there.

Grimmjow: Unfortunately for them, I’m not one to give up!

Ichigo: …

Grimmjow: Oh by the way, in terms of number of fights, the birds are now my number 1 nemesis.

Grimmjow: Try not to be too hurt.

Ichigo: I think you need more sleep, Grimmjow!


10. Gremmy

Birds: [screaming for joy]

Gremmy: So they think they can disturb my sleep, do they?

Gremmy: Well lets see if they continue to greet the sun after THERE IS NO MORE SUN

Haschwalth: Who let Gremmy out of his jar???


11. Soi Fon

Omaeda: Captain! Did you ever take care of the bird problem?

Soi Fon: The fact that you would suggest otherwise is an insult to me.

Soi Fon: Of course I took care of them.

Soi Fon: Thanks to the repulsive scarecrow I put up, the birds will no longer bother me.

Omaeda: Scarecrow?

Urahara’s voice (in the far distance): COULD SOMEBODY PLEASE CUT ME DOWN MAYBE???


12. Chad

Keigo: Dude, wake up!

Chad: …

Chad: Sorry.

Keigo: You okay?

Chad: There have been some birds outside my window. They sing every morning.

Keigo: Oh dude, no wonder you haven’t been sleeping!

Chad: Yes.

Chad: I spent the whole night building them tiny houses inside my apartment. Painting the individual mailboxes took the longest.

Keigo: …did you adopt all of the birds, Sado?

Chad: Birds love me.