He knows those footsteps. Bare
feet against steps, racing upwards towards the library. He marks his page, adds
the book to the pile beside his chair. He stands, in time to see Lavellan
breathlessly round the corner, arms already outstretched. Dorian is all too
happy to catch him, a warm embrace, listening to the happy laugh in his ear. “I’m
home,” he says, pulling back from the hug, standing on his toes, tilting his
face upwards to brush lips against lips. The smile still lingers, even in the
kiss, a happy shine in his eyes.
“Welcome back, amatus. I have so missed watching you
run around Skyhold,” Dorian says, putting a hand on his face, smooth skin under
his fingertips, tucking stray strands of hair behind long pointed ears.
Lavellan chuckles softly under his breath as he steps away. He looks at Dorian
with an aching fondness, restless hands playing with the belt and buckles on
“I’m required to update Josie and the others. I wanted to come see you
first,” Lavellan says.
“The Inquisitor shirking his
duties? Naughty, naughty. Whatever will they say?” More laughter, cupping
Dorian’s face in his hands. Pressing even more kisses, once, twice, stepping
back before Dorian has time to move.
“I’ll be back soon.” He taps
fingers against stone as he moves to leave. He pauses at the corner of Dorian’s
nook, looks over his shoulder. Biting his bottom lip, mischief in his eyes. “I
hope you missed more than simply watching me run,” he says in a low tone. “I’ll
show you all the ways I missed you.” Dorian falls back into his chair, covering
the grin with his hand, leaning against the armrest. That man would be the end
He picks up the book he had
discarded, opening to the page he had left. He loses himself in words, a
distraction from wanting to go to the war table, pick Lavellan up over his
shoulder and run to his quarters. He reads without really reading, eyes moving over
the words but as he looks up at a sudden noise, he can’t recall what he was
reading at all. Passers-by move out of the way of a mumbling spirit.
Cole, his hands pressed to his
ears, a grimace on his face. “It hurts, it hurts, make it stop,” he groans as
he walks towards Dorian. “I can’t – I
can’t listen right, it’s too loud.” Dorian pushes himself up from the chair,
putting his hands on Cole’s shoulders. There’s a pained grimace on his lips, shoulders
hunched and shaking, some loud cacophony relentless in his mind.
“Cole? What is it?” Dorian
thinks for a moment that Cole might be under threat from some demon. Cole
lowers his hands, winding small fingers in belt and buckle, knitting and
fiddling, just as Lavellan had done only moments before. He looks up, and underneath
that hat of his, his eyes are wide and round. The panicked tone his voice once
carried now fades into a hushed whisper.
“They should have been safe. I
can’t do this. All my fault and now they’re dead. Deserted, desolate, destitute
and empty – I am alone. I am the last. I am burning, I am red, I am screaming,
dead as much as they. All my fault, my fault. I can’t do this,” he says.
“Tell me what’s going on,”
Dorian says in a harsh tone, unable to stop his hands from squeezing on Cole’s
“Empty and isolated, no one
will find me here,” Cole says. His head cocks as he looks at Dorian. “He wants
no one but he needs you. In the green place, books and dust, web upon web.”
Dorian is off running immediately. Flying down stairs, across the great hall,
to the place Lavellan had shown him only once before. Filled from ceiling to
floor with old books, something he knew would please Dorian. It sits in the
halls underneath Skyhold, a cramped path, a hidden room.
Lavellan is standing with his
back straight and stiff, his shoulders narrow. He doesn’t turn around at the
sound of Dorian. His knuckles are pressed against the desk. “Amatus? Are you alright?” Dorian asks it
cautiously, quietly, as he walks slowly closer. Lavellan flinches at the
feeling of Dorian’s hands on his arms. He turns, knocks his hands away, and
presses his back against the shelves on books. The spell broken, Lavellan
presses his palms against his eyes, hunches over.
“I have no home to go back to.
My clan is dead. I – I ordered the wrong thing. I made a mistake. And now they’re
all dead.” He laughs like madness, a choking thing. His hands fall from his
face, he wraps his arms around himself. He looks up at Dorian, dark circles
under his eyes. His chin shakes. “I killed them,” he tears the words out of
himself. His eyes squeeze shut, and he holds his hands in front of them,
trembling in full. Dorian watches as his breathing comes quicker, louder,
gasping in air but unable to hold breath.
He quickly closes the distance
between them, and tilts his face upwards, hands tight on his face. “Amatus. You need to breathe. Look at me.”
Searching eyes slowly settle upon him, and Dorian nods then inhales deeply.
Lavellan mimics him. In and out, in and out, eyes never leaving eyes. Dorian’s
hands move from his face to his shoulders, wrapping arms around him. Together,
they slide to the floor.
Nestled warm in Dorian’s arms,
Lavellan buries his face against his chest. He keeps his hold on the elf tight
but not restrictive, comforting without being a prison. He kisses the crown off
his head. “It’s not your fault,” Dorian says. “Whatever you think… it’s not
your fault. You’re not alone. I have you. I’m here.” The dam breaks. The tears
finally flow. He holds him as he screams into Dorian’s chest, weeps himself
into exhaustion. They spend the night on the floor, leaning against moldy old
books, holding each other.
I just love how Isak listens to and learns things from everyone. All the time. He listens to Even, to Eskild, to Sana, to Jonas, Magnus and to the school “doctor”. He even listens to Sonja.
Isak learns a lot in season 3. And he uses what he learns, combines it with his own feeling, reason and common sense. He is a thinker, after all. And because of this, he grows, and he conquers his fears, and he builds bridges between the islands, and he saves both Even and himself.
Yeah, I just felt like saying this. Because soon we well get another main character. So. I obsess while I can.