mine:-beast

harry potter rated on references to chocolate
  • philosopher's stone: First introduction into chocolate for Harry after a life with the Dursleys. Harry's first birthday cake was chocolate. + Hagrid gave him a chocolate/raspberry ice cream at Fortescue's. ALSO CHOCOLATE FROGS EVERYWHERE. They are big plot point too! a sturdy introduction: 8/10
  • chamber of secrets: Hermione savagely uses chocolate cake to trick Crabbe and Goyle. But, most importantly, if Dumbledore wasn't getting hot chocolate Colin Creevey would have probably died. proving again, chocolate saves lives. A steaming book for hot chocolate with 3 mentions. decent: 5/10
  • prisoner of azkaban: absolute PEAK. A whooping 27 references. A chocolate reference every 9 pages! Honeydukes is introduced!!! "Hundreds of different kinds of chocolate in neat rows", Slabs and bars galore! + chocolate is canonly used as a remedy for sadness!! chocolate queen™, remus Lupin helps the cause with his generous handing out of chocolate. Also, Pomfrey even provided a boulder sized block, complete with a hammer to collect chunks, ingenious. EVEN THE MINISTER FOR MAGIC insisted on Harry having chocolate! -5 points because Harry says he's sick of chocolate ate the end. Yet, still a solid 11/10
  • goblet of fire: The Fat Lady makes an excellent choice by getting drunk off chocolate liqueurs, a+ example of combining chocolate and alcohol. Ron got some chocolate from Hagrid for having a sneaky lil niffler... the BIGGEST disappointment is Molly Weasley sending Hermione a tiny chocolate egg instead of a dragon sized one like harry and ron because of a Rita Skeeter™ rumour she's with Krum and Harry?? like wtff a grown ass woman almost made a child cry because of their passive aggressive chocolate giving 1/10
  • order of the phoenix: Hermione gave two boxes of chocolate for Harry's birthday, but teenage angst™ harry throws them out. Poor form m8. Also, he has a weird dream about Cedric, Cho and chocolate frogs?? Why bro. Additionally, Harry and Ginny have a romantical moment as she gives him chocolate... Before Madam Pince screams "CHOCOLATE IN THE LIBRARY- OUT- OUT!" Classic choco madness! Overall, a wild ride on the chocolate train. maybe too wild. im going with a 6/10
  • half-blood prince: Romilda Vane tried to spike Harry through chocolate cauldrons -30 points... Furthermore, Tom Riddle kills Hepzibah Smith with hot cocoa and uses that death to make a horcrux. An absolute shocker! Chocolate used to make Voldemort immortal!!! and to murder!!! improper use of a sacred food: -282939399/10
  • deathly hallows: Wow, disappointing. One chocolate card wrapper on the floor, a chocolate card and french chocolate from the Delacours. 3 mentions in 197,651 words. Disgraceful. I reckon there's correlation between how happy a story is and the amount of chocolate references. conclusively: appalling 0.015/10
  • bonus fantastic beasts: "But I made 'em cocoa?". excellent start, promising: 7/10
Warning: Incoming spam of Ezra

Happy Spam Saturday! - #24

Welcome back! I can’t promise you that I’ll do one every week but I’ll try my best! :)

Now, let’s continue our Fantastic Beasts celebration with some Ezra Miller. Enjoy!

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That’s it, I hoped you enjoyed it! :)