mine: renner

Dear Marvel,

Please put Jeremy Renner in the trash where he belongs. We love Hawkeye though, so here are some continuity suggestions for MCU:

  • an actual hawk
  • a taxidermy hawk sewn onto the shoulder of Natasha’s uniform 
  • Tony Hawk(eye)
  • Armie Hammer in an Aunt Viv #1 / Aunt Viv #2 situation where we all pretend they are the same
  • Kate Bishop

Thank you for your time.

Pocket!Muse HCs [Renner/Corv]

Pocket!Muse - Your muse only they’re teeny tiny~

R e n n e r

  • One of the biggest breeds available! Be aware he can reach places others can’t! And is very helpful to more mischievous breeds (i.e. helping pocket!airn reach treats; it is very important to keep an eye on this particular duo).
  • May get sad if he can’t climb on or fit into places his friends can. If this occurs, give him a task, like something heavy to carry or a puzzle to solve and he will brighten up.
  • LOVES puzzles. Sometimes carries around a piece of one he’s working on just to think about it while he does other things.
  • Extremely protective. If you are worried about security in your home or the safety of playmates, the pocket!renner is an excellent caretaker. 
  • He’s also big enough to break up fights if you have breeds that don’t get along.
  • Invest in Legos. Be prepared to witness marvelous structures appearing around your home.
  • Warning: has a temper! While generally even-keeled, he does get grumpy at times and sad even more often. He requires alone time in these moods. Bring him a snack and some puzzle pieces and let him work it out by himself.
  • If threatened, will growl first and bite second. Be aware that unlike other breeds, the pocket!renner can cause serious damage due to his size.
  • Requires lots of food and exercise to keep healthy!
  • Thrives in large groups of friends! He tends to mother playmates, especially ones that do not take care of themselves or are prone to trouble.

C o r v a n

  • Do not, I repeat, DO NOT keep a pocket!corv and a pocket!airn in the same space. Even with supervision. You’re just asking for trouble.
  • Very solitary breed. Does not get along well with others, but if forced into group situations he works best with gentler or weaker playmates so he can feel in charge.
  • Loves swimming! A home aquarium is an excellent addition to his habitat. Hiding little treasures in it for him to find is even better.
  • Collects rare things he’s never seen before. If he finds two of something, he’ll throw them both out. 
  • Does not share.
  • Will refuse snuggles and pets, but will also sneak in to sleep on Handler’s pillow when he thinks they’re asleep.
  • If feeling confused or threatened, will make himself seem bigger and growl a lot.
  • Show him new things and/or take him adventuring often and he will adore you. Even if he doesn’t show it.
  • Excellent traveling pocket!muse for commuters, especially those who travel through dangerous neighborhoods or late at night. The pocket!corv has been known to shred and mutilate anything he can get at on those who threaten his Handler. Just make sure he’s tucked away somewhere he can see out and ambush unwanted fingers properly and you need never carry mace again!
  • Does not nest like other breeds.

Tagged by: @thecatsidhe (I choose Renner and Corv!) I DETECT A PATTERN XD
Tagging: anybody reading this who hasn’t yet; i know it’s old

Into the Woods|| Lara x Renner Mortal!AU

Lara was a witch. At least that’s what the villagers had told her when they founder her wandering in the tangled wood. She’d done her best with her hair and her clothes, but the dress she’d run away in had been outgrown four moons after she’d fled from her father’s house. There was a lot she could do with vines and furs and cold spring water, but it was never the same as woven cloth. She’d thought she’d done better by her second winter. She had more furs then, more stashes of ground nuts salted away, better arrows.

She could have stolen from the villages she passed by, but people, especially men, had never ceased to make her skittish. At least on the inside. She mistrusted them on sight. As if all men had cruelty waiting to leap at her from beneath their breast.

She’d gotten good at making poultices for her scrapes and teas for her illnesses. She’d even been forced to stitch her own wounds when she hadn’t been fast enough to escape the wild animals who hungered for meat during the winter months. Her plant craft had grown to the point that she could keep strangers and wild animals away with just the spread of the right herbs.

She’d been fifteen by her reckoning when this village had found her. She should have known when she’d found the dilapidated hut she was too close to civilization, but the storm had howled and the thought of being partially dry and safe from the element she had never been able to shake her fear of had been too good to resist.

Still, the first time they had found her, she had nearly shot the unsuspecting woodsman before he’d got a chance to talk to the half made-up/half feral wood child. His accent had been so thick that it was almost unintelligible to her.

That had been almost ten years ago. When the villagers had decided she wasn’t a faerie child, and the woman who had cleaned her up had campaigned hard for that saying she was too pretty to be a human child, they had dubbed her a witch. Lara couldn’t see any difference in the suspicion raised by either of these two things, or her city accent and her ability to read. Still, after the head man’s child had come down with one of the endless fevers that plagued this century and Lara had cured her, they seemed to settle into vague suspicion rather than actual dislike. Lara didn’t care what they settled on, as long as they left her to live in the cottage pretty much by herself.

Besides, they were right. She was a witch.


And so a new life had started. A little healing. A little midwifery. A little calling elements to her. It didn’t make her rich, but it did give her the ability to see into the dark, into people and to see what was really there. She didn’t need to be rich. As long as she was never found. Besides, the little fishing village kept her busy enough. Crops that needed blessing. Fish that wouldn’t bite. Babies that didn’t turn. If she had wanted to, she supposed she could have made something of that, but she was valuable and she was hidden. Being useful was a different kind of ambition than she was raised on, but she found she could get used to it.

She didn’t get paid much, but the old cottage was warm and cozy now. There was always food on the table and she had enough fabric and thread to look at least civilized when she was called out. She didn’t look like a rich man’s daughter, but not like a peasant either.

It didn’t make her popular. Despite cleaning up well, no suitors darkened her door for anything but nefarious purposes. She wasn’t a suitable match for good young men. No threatening half feral forest women for good boys, no matter how pretty.

However, the call to the ship hadn’t been that odd though. She’d brought the little black bag with the medicines and the twines and the scary little implements that no one understood. She wasn’t a doctor. She was better than.

The bite had gone deep. Almost too deep. “Hold him still,” Lara ordered the clustered sea men as her patient thrashed weakly. “Hold him still or get out of the way.”

The captain was a grizzly thick necked man with a greying beard and a kind eye. “Can you save it? Only he’s got a new baby and a young wife.”

Lara looked at the bloody pulp critically. “Won’t know till we try. And not if I keep gabbing.”

And she’d set to work. It was a long two hours and the man had screamed until he wept and in the end she’d ended up more covered in blood than he was, but she saved the leg.

“It’s done,” she said, quietly to the man. “Now I need you to drink this. And sleep.”

Standing she wiped her forehead with a bloody hand. “It’ll be a couple weeks, but he’ll walk with it again. Maybe always with a limp, but not enough to prevent him from serving.”

The sailors whispered and shifted away from her when she moved, but she was too tired to care.

The captain shook her hand though, blood and all. “Thank you. About your fee…”

Lara shook her head, because it wasn’t important, she just wanted her cottage.

“… I want to give you a bonus.”

She barely heard him. “I want to go to bed. Maria Costello delivered herself of twins last night and I don’t care. Send whatever you think’s fair to the cottage.”

She didn’t wait…just walked back to her cottage beyond the village. Another story for the book. She’d have to write down that stitching pattern. Tomorrow. She’d write it down tomorrow.

@therisingtempest