an embarrassing pitch
i’m always saying i write what i feel like writing and don’t much care who reads it, and i say it extra often when i’m writing an exchange fic. the audience is one! if other people like it, cool, but that’s not the goal.
and i’m not even making it up because i think it makes me sound chill – it’s honestly how i feel! except sometimes i write something that has an audience of one and i’m like, ugh, i think this story should have an audience of at least five. how can i make that happen?
so consider this my plea! i’ve recently written longing gone, which is 17k of slow-burn misery about a band that broke up four years ago. it is rpf. it involves adultery. i mean, we all understand why the audience here is one.
i get it! but if you weren’t into Sadsack Shipping i don’t think you would be here, so give me like ten minutes to talk you into this.
here’s the rest: joy and john paul were both married to other people when they met at a songwriting workshop in nashville. they fell into a musical trance they both described with words like “cosmic,” formed a band, toured nonstop for a few years, and won some grammys. just as they seemed on the cusp of Actual Capital-S Success, they embarked on a headlining tour of europe. they lasted eight shows. after a gig at the london roundhouse, which they managed to play without ever looking at one another, JP fucked off home, they issued a statement about “irreconcilable differences,” and they haven’t spoken since.
they put out an album that was recorded just before the split, which is full of lyrics like “i wish i’d never ever seen your face.” joy did the press for the album alone, giving a series of increasingly depressed interviews in which she said she had no idea if the band was broken up because john paul wouldn’t talk to her. why did they cancel the tour? “i’d really like to know that myself,” she said. in 2014, john paul accepted a grammy alone on behalf of the band and thanked his plumber. eventually they officially broke up, and the next year she released a solo album that was about like Finding My Power and Making It Through or whatever. a year after that, he released one that might as well be called I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I.
but whatever, i dare you to spend seven minutes watching the following two videos in this order and not wince.
yikes. so what happened? who knows. but i’ve always wanted to write about a band falling apart on the road, and i was especially into the idea of trying to write a story in which shit goes spectacularly wrong but the people involved are not clear on why, or what happened, or when they might have made a different choice. no one is at fault; they both want different, unbearable things. they try to be kind, and it doesn’t matter. it’s like the ultimate sadsack shipping puzzle.
so there you go, there’s my pitch! here is the story. now i will try to shut up and go back to whatever it is i was doing before i was doing this. was it black sails? something something howard stark? whatever. <3