mine: herpes

Can herpes affect my ability to have a child?

Someone asked us:

Can herpes affect my ability to have a child?

Genital herpes shouldn’t affect your ability to get pregnant, and people with herpes who get pregnant have healthy pregnancies, births, and babies all the time. But there are extra precautions you can take to make sure you don’t pass herpes on to your baby.

If you already have herpes at the time you get pregnant, the risk to your baby is low. You and your doctor or nurse will keep an eye out for herpes outbreaks during pregnancy, and your doctor may recommend taking some medicine to reduce and prevent outbreaks.

If you have herpes sores on your genitals when you go into labor, it’s possible to spread it to your baby in childbirth. So your doctor may recommend a C-section to avoid that. When a newborn baby gets herpes it can cause certain eye problems or brain damage. So it’s important to tell your doctor or nurse if you have genital herpes or notice any herpes symptoms during pregnancy. Many people have no idea that they have herpes, so talk with your doctor about getting tested for herpes when you’re pregnant.

If you’re pregnant and you don’t have herpes but your partner does (or they think they might), it’s really important to use condoms and dental dams anytime you have vaginal, anal, or oral sex during your pregnancy. It’s also really important to talk with a doctor or nurse about it. They may recommend that you avoid sex during your third trimester. They may also have your partner take medicine to lower the chances of them spreading herpes to you throughout your pregnancy.

Taking serious precautions is important because getting herpes when you’re already pregnant can lead to premature birth or even miscarriage — and the risk of problems increases the later you are in your pregnancy. If you’re planning a pregnancy, it’s a good idea to talk with a doctor or nurse about STD testing and other pre-pregnancy health steps you can take. You can get testing and treatment for STDs, and other family planning help, at your nearest Planned Parenthood health center.

-Emily at Planned Parenthood

youtube

@buzzfeed posted this amazing video this past week that I think we can all relate to and appreciate! The first few days of your herpes diagnosis may feel like the end of your sex life and the end of any hope for a relationship, but it’s really the beginning of a whole new part of your life where you love yourself and your body so much more than ever - and you meet people who are open to learning about herpes and how minor it is - and of course they still love you. Thanks buzzfeed for helping crush the herpes stigma!

How to get rid of a coldsore in 3 days!

Alright guys take note, because this will save you when you get struck with a coldsore.

The majority of the population has the coldsore (herpes simplex virus 1) in their bodies. It doesn’t go away but usually lays dormant within DNA, until certain factors occur that often trigger them.

Things that can bring on a coldsore are:
-stress
-period
-ill health
-lowered immune system
-tiredness and fatigue
-strong sunlight exposure
-having a current infection

So basically when your body is run down, and your immune system isn’t at its best, the virus comes out in the form of a coldsore blister on your lip line usually.

Some people are more prone to coldsores than others.

A coldsore will first appear as a bump/lump on the lip line. It’s usually clear; looks like it’s liquid filled at this stage. Usually very small, not obvious at all, you may only be able to feel it not see it. But the sooner you spot one and treat it the better your chances are of getting rid of it quickly.

So what to do when you first spot a coldsore. This is my tried and tested method and has worked for me on numerous occasions.

Step 1| Put some tea tree oil (make sure it’s diluted with aloe or water or a carrier oil, not pure tea tree oil), on the end of a que tip or cotton bud and hold it on top of the coldsore. You may need to hold it with some pressure. It will probably sting a fair bit.

Step 2| Buy a coldsore cream, I usually use Zovirax, but most have the same active ingredient which stops the virus developing and spreading. Apply the cold sore cream as often as you can. Rub it in then put another thin layer of it over the top and leave it sitting on top. Make sure you do this at night too. So the cream is on the spot over night.

Step 3| Take L-lysine supplements. Essentially L-lysine floods the cells with lysine so that the cells cannot be contaminated by the coldsore virus. Lysine can be found in health stores.

If you spot your coldsore developing soon enough you can make sure it doesn’t become a full blown crusty sore. I have gotten rid of one of mine in 3 days with this method. It works.

The Stages of  Grief (Herpes Edition)

Denial.
I woke up on a Monday morning; after a Sunday night of rough sex. I went to the bathroom and could barely get anything out. Great, I have a UTI because I fell asleep right after. *Eye-roll*
Days go by, I’m drinking tons of water, drinking sugar-free cranberry juice. My UTI is not letting up. I should go see a doctor.
Thursday comes along and I have to go to the ER because I am in so much pain when I do pee. Extreme burning. Extremely fatigued. My bladder is spasming - which is painful. I get some antibiotics, and some medication to help with the bladder spasming. I am informed that if I vomit, I need to come back.
Friday at 4AM, I projectile vomit all over the bathroom. I resort to peeing in the shower because water helps take away the sting. I cry. I touch my labia, and that’s when I notice it… a bump. What the fuck is this? I take a picture (after getting out of the shower). Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I have herpes.
Friday at 10PM, I work up enough courage to go back to the ER. I get the visual diagnosis, and swabs done to confirm.

Anger.
In the moments following the visual diagnosis. I am crying. My life is ruined. No one will love me. My boyfriend is going to accuse me of cheating, and I have done nothing wrong! Why does this hurt so bad? I should go over to his house and confront him! How is he going to do this to me?! He told me he got checked for STD’s and was clear! I shouldn’t have trusted him.

Bargaining.
Why can’t I have chlamydia? What about gonorrhea? Why did I have to get something that’s incurable? Why me? What did I do wrong?

Depression.
I didn’t move for days; with the exception of going to my partners house to inform him of my 2AM diagnosis. We cried together, and he apologized. I went home, called off work, and laid in bed. I cried. I wondered how I was going to tell my mom. What was she going to think of my boyfriend that she already didn’t like? Should I just commit suicide? Is life even worth living at this point?

Acceptance.
This only came with research. Ninety percent of people have HSV. One in Five have genital herpes. I am not alone. I am not a minority. I can still have children. I can still live a normal life. I am a human being. I am not dirty. I did nothing wrong. Life is still worth living; it is beautiful, even when it’s painful.
Not everyone is worthy to know of my diagnosis. My mom doesn’t need to know. My gossipy friend does not need to know. The only person that needs to know is myself, my partner, and any future partners. Herpes does not change me, it does not make me.

Today the internet exploded with the news that R&B singer Usher was sued by a woman who alleged that she contracted herpes from him. Shortly after the news broke social media was filled with jokes mocking Usher. What many ignored is the fact that herpes is a very common infection. One in six U.S. citizens has genital herpes. Herpes can be transmitted through touching, kissing, and sexual contact, including vaginal, anal, and oral sex. It can be passed from one partner to another and from one part of the body to another. Brief skin-to-skin contact is all that’s needed to pass the virus.

So why is it that news of a celebrity having a common STI immediately led to ridicule and shaming? There is still a lot of stigma around STIs especially herpes since there isn’t a cure for it. People are often nervous to disclose their STIs because of the possible backlash. Those with STIs are often labeled “dirty” making it difficult for conversation and progress.

Today’s media frenzy surrounding Usher is a prime example of how people with STIs are stigmatized and demonized.

if y’all took half as much time researching STI transmission and how to protect yourself/your partners instead of trying to think of some half-baked Usher-related quip to get some notes on here you AND your communities would be much better off.

I’d really appreciate it if people would just stop stigmatizing herpes. I have it and there’s hardly a day I don’t want to kill myself. I know you may think “it’s not that bad she’s just dramatic” but no really the STIGMA is that bad, the std itself, not so much. This usher thing is really bringing out the ignorance in people. It doesn’t mean a person is even promiscuous. I caught it USING CONDOMS in a monogamous relationship. I was since then treated like a second class citizen. It hurts guys, not just the fire in my crotch

HSV II - KILL THE STIGMA

So I’m new to the Tumblr scene and have never really been into blogging either but here goes. I was recently diagnosed with HSV II, around 6 months ago. Reading all of your posts on here has been a great support, so I thought why not start sharing my own. It would be great to connect with people in a similar position, as sometimes we can feel as if we are dealing with this on our own (despite 1 in 6 people having Herpes). To me, Herpes isn’t worth half of the fuss it causes, but as we all know the stigma still exists. And the stigma deserves to be challenged. So, in my first post I’d like to go about doing that.

One of the most surprising things to me is how little people actually know about Herpes, and I’d be lying if I said I was fully educated about this virus before encountering it myself. But the reality is, Herpes is virtually nothing from a medical standpoint. Essentially, it is the same as cold sores only in a ‘worse’ place. I think it’s extremely important to emphasise this, because what real baring to cold sores have on our lives? If someone had cold sores orally, would anyone judge their character based on this? And if not, why should genital herpes be any different? The answer is, it shouldn’t be different. Also, the common misconception that you have to be a certain “type” of person to get Herpes is nonsense. If you have ever had sex with someone, you are at risk of Herpes. So, hold your head high and do not let something so insignificant define or limit you.

The first time hurt SO fucking bad
Like, soooooo badddddddd
I could barely sit down
or walk straight
or do other things that involved body parts below my waist
I distinctly remember a frozen bag of peas making a brief, relieving appearance
It just kind of, like,
happened, I guess?
I don’t really know HOW exactly
but I definitely cried
it was surprisingly the most physical pain
I’ve ever felt ever
I mean
one minute everything is normal
and the next minute it’s just
THERE, y'know?

My doctor told me over half of North America’s population are at least carriers of the herpes virus
and that most of those people never experience symptoms
and that the only way to be sure about having it is if you experience symptoms
and that I was experiencing symptoms
and that I had herpes
and that it’s really not a big deal
and I should probably call my partner
and take some time to stop crying
and today
Today I practice casually bringing it up
in front of new friends
“How do you feel about Bernie sanders?
Did you know the Colorado river is at its lowest level since the ninth century?
(What’s your opinion on herpes)
My dad just went to the Grand Canyon isn’t that SO COOL THAT IS REALLY COOL RIGHT, SPEAKING OF THINGS THAT ARE COOL WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE STD?
because I know how commonplace it is
and how its diagnosis is trivial
but
I’m too afraid
of my herpes
making an impression before I walk in the room
I am so scared my persona
and the reality of it all
won’t be enough
and herpes will ruin anything good
I want to be so fucking awesome to people
that when I tell them I have an STD for life
they tell me to shut up
because I’m interrupting a very pivotal scene of a movie

I think about how
the outbreak hurt less than
this idea of rejection
of meeting someone, anyone
who might not understand
and look at me like
“I cannot accept this part of you”
“You are filthy”
“You clearly don’t take care of yourself”
I will comment on how I want to be honest
I will flirt by sending them links to the CDC’s herpes website
they will brand my vulnerability as disgusting
and I will have weeded out
those who aren’t worthy of me

—  “50-80%” by Nikki Burian
My herpes 'story'

So I’m feeling in a mood to share. I’m 21 and about six months ago I lost my virginity to a guy who I trusted, not using protection, and got Herpes. Now, I’m by no means saying that anyone deserves to get Herpes because no one does! But this just goes to show that you don’t have to sleep around to get an STI. You can simply put your trust into the wrong person because you see the good in them. What makes the experience worse for me is that the guy actually made out that I could have given it to him when that is virtually impossible. Here I am facing up to my diagnosis, whereas he is blaming anyone else and living in denial. I know for a fact he has slept with multiple partners since me (not using protection), which makes me wonder how many girls will go through what I have. The whole situation makes me realise that I’m a good person, I can take responsibility for my actions and I can face up to problems and deal with them instead of pretending that Herpes does not exist. All of you reading this are probably facing up to your diagnosis too, and you should take pride in that. You are a good person. And that is something that is super important.

I really want to thank those brace souls who have been open about their diagnosis

Without y'all , I wouldn’t have gotten pass the stage of blaming myself & feeling worthless . I am open about it , & it won’t control my life any longer

I told her.

This is just to say, while I advocate for privacy and disclosure choice, I disclosed to my current girlfriend early on (who is warm, brilliant, and physically stunning by any standard) and she’s stuck by me even when I was having constant, recuring outbreaks.

Yeah, sometimes she would be like, “Again??” but whatever. She’s a fucking trooper.

There is hope.