mine: comedy

do y'all ever feel creepy for having a crush like,, you’ll picture the two of you going on a hike and holding hands or going to one of those buildings filled with trampolines together and ur just like “stop!!! this is nonsense!!! u dont even know them that well stop thinking about them all the time!!! they would probably be weirded out by this bc they think of you as a friend at best,, S T O P”

vine
700 Puffles

Ok, so, when I was a kid, I used to get up to a lot of dumb shenanigans on Club Penguin. I think this was around third or fourth grade; I did a lot of trolly things then. Some of the bans and glitches they had to fix around that time period were because of me and some of my online friends at the time.

We figured out pretty quickly that most of the like, your base-level curse words, y'know the amateur curse words, they’re all BANNED. So we started coming up with more and more inventive ways to express our feelings to the public, so that’s why every once in a while they would roll out an update, and it’s like, “the term ‘bitchbaby’ is now banned”.

And um, what else did I do?

Oh right, so do you know how they had those expansion areas every once in a while? And there would be those little zones and each zone had the same default shop that they copy-and-pasted over.

But there was this one expansion area… it was a cave or mine shaft or something like that. The default shop that they had there, it was Real Glitchy. So I figured out that if you buy seven puffles it gives you some ridiculous number for the price of TWO. So what I did:

I BOUGHT 700 PUFFLES…. And then I gifted them to the other person in the shop whose name I didn’t know and then I waited. And then I forgot about that for, quite a while, and then some time a week later I got a very angry email from said person, with a screenshot of their home, which was floor-to-ceiling, wall-to-wall, just. Fur. And googly eyes. Like you could see nothing else, it was just puffle everywhere. They were rendering in and out of walls, like some of them were just plain feet, it was – it was an abomination.

And apparently once I read the email their main complaint? Not even the fact that I ruined their fucking household! It was the fact that when they opened the client and saw that, it CRASHED. Their Club Penguin client crashed, and when they opened their house and it loaded and there were seven hundred puffles.

I don’t know if you guys know this but puffles, as cute as they look (at least to some people), the sounds they make are not quite as cute. Especially when there’s seven hundred of them layered on top of each other, rendering in and out of walls emitting a sound collectively scary enough to get Lucifer to piss himself.

And yeah. That’s the story of why there’s a limit of 50 puffles that you can buy.