12x03 coda (ao3)

It was dumb. He was being dumb, he knew that. It had been stupid to get his hopes up that he would really have his mom back. It’d been downright idiotic to allow that hope to grow inside him. Now it’s been ripped out and his chest feels empty and hollow.

Dean sits at the kitchen table nursing a bottle in his hands, staring at the empty space across from him. Sam had quietly mumbled something about getting some rest not long after Mary left and has been in his room since. Leaving Dean alone with his thoughts. He laughs bitterly. “Always alone,” he mutters to the kitchen.

It’s strange, he thinks. He’s always felt at home in kitchens. Probably because some of his only memories with his mom were in the kitchen. He had learned to cook as a kid mostly out necessity, having to feed Sam and all, but also because it was one of the few times he could feel close to his mom. Turns out that was nothing but a lie he told himself.

Keep reading