mine-if-I-even-want-to-claim-that

Some Shit Went Down Today - 7/22/16

Today someone who I thought was my best friend made the decision to leave my life rather than try harder to communicate. He claimed that he wouldn’t be able to communicate the way I needed him to and that he was leaving because he didn’t want to hurt me any more, even if it wasn’t intentional.

Another best friend of mine decided to drive across the city and not tell his parents where he was going in order to come over and comfort me since I had been crying for hours on end. I’m so fucking thankful for this man because he knows how to help me get through anything without even trying to help get me though it. He just does it, and that’s why I know he’ll always care about me, as I will towards him.

Regret

Disclaimer: All writing is purely fictional. I am no way associated with any one in this or any stories I may post, nor’ do I claim to be. Any characters/people used are not mine and belong to their rightful owners. Writing has been created for fan entertainment only.

One text message.

One measly 9 letter text message that she had over analysed, worried over before finding his name and finally hitting send.

She had regretted immediately. Watching as the box turned blue and the delivered message flashed beneath it. 

‘Hey, just wanted to say congratulations! You deserve it’.

She had regret it even more as she watched the note beneath change to read and three little bubbles appeared before her as he began to type.

A million scenarios ran through her head then. Had he changed his number? Forgotten hers? Deleted it all together?

‘Hey, thanks so much. How are you doing?’

One measly text message had led to this.

Her palms were heavy with sweat as she adjusted her suide boot over her knee, fixing hair she had only just fixed moments before in the elevator.

He hadn’t changed his number.

She checked her phone again, re reading her last message. Her last message from him.

‘No I’m still in the same apartment, 305. X’

He hadn’t forgotten about her.

She thought about the last few days. How her simple text message, congratulating an ex she hadn’t spoken to in months led her to the fact that she was now standing outside his door.

Once the first few formalities were out of the way, everything flowed - just like before. They talked via text message, they joked, made fun of one another - she was sure there had been moments of flirting.

‘Are you drunk? Lol go handle yourself Rollins’.

‘No.. a little lmao, plus you always handled me better ;)’.

6 days later, here she was. Standing outside apartment 305. A place that was familiar but somehow felt strange to her now.

Still, she wasn’t convinced this was a good idea as her fist collided with the wood of the door. Text message was easy, it was fun.

Face to face, reality - that brings back memories, feelings.

6 days of correspondence and neither one had raised the topic of their break up.

She swallowed hard.

Her mind had been so run rampat with thoughts, she had missed the point in which the door began to open - and all too suddenly, there he was.

Seth leaned carelessly against the door, a black tshirt clung to his toned frame. His hair pulled back, hidden beneath the same colour snapback that faced in the opposite direction.

That smile.

‘Come in,’ he said stepping away from the frame and gesturing inside of his home. ‘Do you want a-’

She felt her head shaking with a smile before he had even finished his sentence, nerves kicking in - memories flooding back.

‘It still looks the same in here’, she noted.

That, was a comfort.

He nodded, bounding past her and towards the living room as she followed. He walked with his face towards her.

‘Don’t judge me,’ he smirked entering the room and pointing to the left. ‘Its exactly the same’.

Throw pillows.

She found herself laughing before she had a chance to stop it. She had picked them - forced Seth to buy them over a year ago claiming that his home needed a feminine touch.

She had been right, of course - but he had fought her tooth and nail promising that once he had a chance, the pillows were ‘out on their ass’.

‘Hey!’ He yelled throwing himself into the weight of the cushions, 'I said no judging’.

'And I said, i’m always right’. She retaliated with a smile, placing herself on the couch to - careful to leave just enough distance between them.

Seth returned the smile, his white teeth gleeming through his blackened beard as he held her eye for longer than either one of them were ready to admit.

She dropped her gaze first.

'You look good by the way,’ he said calmly pulling a pillow onto his lap and a knee onto the couch. 'I like the hair’.

She watched him again as he smirked, a knowing smirk - their minds both reminiscing to a time months before, a different time when he had old her quietly in her ear that she looked innocent with curly hair.

And how much he wanted to change that later.

She felt her cheeks blush as she focused on the wooden floor beneath her feet. The memories, the feeling of just being in each others presence - the heat all flooding back into 'normality’ quicker than she ever thought possible.

'Hey,’ he reached out a hand towards her, his skin touching hers causing shockwaves through her body.

She stood up immediately, the sound of her heel collided with the wood harshly as she watched him raise an eyebrow up at her.

’-are you okay? I didn-’

She held out a hand signalling him to stop, her cheeks burning more than ever now. She had thought that she could do this. That she could see him, be around him, have fun - forget.

But, she couldn’t. It came flooding back suddenly, all at once.

Months hadnt healed old wounds. Time hadn’t answered her questions. Seeing him hadn’t buried her hurt like she hoped it would have.

'I’m sorry,’ she admitted, grabbing her back and turning on her heel 'I shouldn’t have come’.

Within seconds Seth was before her in the hallway, his arms held up in defensive as he stood before her - blocking her way, yet not blocking her entirely either.

He could sense the boundaries at least.

'What’s going on? I thought-’

'This isn’t your fault’, she told him truthfully knowing what he 'thought’ - she had hoped so to. She stepped to the right as her mirrored her actions, stopping her.

She felt her eyes roll into the back of her head. The heat rise within her body with annoyance, with fustration.

'I’ve clearly done something wrong, I just want to know what’.

She sighed loudly, her blue eyes staring into his brown eyes before her.

'I thought I could do this,’ she admitted. 'I thought I could text you, be friendly, have fun. I thought that I could come here, that I could see you and not-’

She paused as she watched the realisation hit Seth. He dropped his hands, placing both of them on his hat - his tongue tracing his lips as he stared at the blank wall behind her, silencing falling between them.

His eyes turned his attention back to her, his voice was low as he spoke. 'You thought you could come here and not think about me screwing someone else’.

She felt her stomach twist. She was sure the sweat on her brow was visible, thay day flooding back to her. The emotions.

Finding out your boyfriend had screwed someone else while you were out of town was never easy.

'Yes’, she answered her voice barely audible as she watched him take his lip between his teeth. He nodded, his eyes never leaving hers.

'I would take it back if I could.’

She nodded, knowing that was true - having heard it all before with pleading and tears, with excuses and the fact alchohal had at least played some part in his terrible decision making.

'I have to go’, the words were forced - her body screaming for her so stay, to try.

He didn’t move, searching her eyes for any clue - anything he could do to stop her from leaving him, not again.

'Please,’ she stated harshly knowing exactly what he was thinking. He had always had a way with her.

He didn’t hesitate this time, watching her pained expression he stood aside as she rushed out the door in a panic and headed for the elevator.

She waited for the doors to close before letting her body settle into a mass of sobs and sniffles. Every wound reopening like it was the first time, yet accompanied by something new.

Regret.

anonymous asked:

isn't freak supposed to be an ableist term as well? like geez for someone who claims to be all about social justice........

Technically, yeah, I’d say so. I’ve heard the term most often negatively used regarding autistic individuals (specifically family members of mine) in order to put them down and verbally abuse them, personally (I’ve seen it used in neutral or even positive ways before as well too, don’t get me wrong, but the primary negative use has been for…that, at least that I’ve seen. So yeah).

But, *shrugs* I’m not going to police their potentially ableist language. Couldn’t even if I wanted to.

                FAIRY GODMOTHER’S WAND IN DISNEY DESCENDANTS

In the mediafire download link, there are #27 rp icons of Fairy Godmother’s wand in Disney’s Descendants as requested by @magiicwand. None of the screencaps are mine and I found them [here]. I cropped and resized these. Since they are plain, you can do whatever you want to them as long as you don’t redistribute without credit or claim these icons as your own even for personal use! Please like/reblog before using!

Examples:

[D O W N L O A D]

Yes! I am NekoLen on flightrising.com. I want to give people some of my pretty babies if they don’t sell cause I hate having to exalt them and get nothing out of it. 

SO… Um add me as a friend and every egg hatching cycle I’ll put the rejects on here for any one to claim?

My dragons just don’t sell, not even for ridiculous prices (like 2000 treasure under minimum recommended price) IDK if that’s cause they are ugly or cause the are mostly ridgebacks. It seems the community likes Skydancers the most, even tho none of mine sell anyway.