A Very Potter Musical had a Zac Efron poster as one of Voldemort’s horcruxes, Quirrell and Voldemort getting together and the entire Harry Potter series being written by Gilderoy Lockhart and I am 1000000000% more likely to accept that as canon than the Cursed Child plot.
the most iconic moment in musical history is during a very potter musical when Voldemort jumps out of the cauldron and takes the first step and you hear that he’s wearing tap shoes and you just Know what’s coming
the team starkid obsession is in the past and that’s all well and good, but listen. listen. i cannot read a harry potter book in which malfoy is taunting harry without visions of lauren lopez dancing rolling on the ground in my head