Maokyun: Yes. I have a letter here from Max from the Fujie household. I’m pretty certain Max is actually your pet dog?
Maokyun: Yes. I have a letter from your dog.
Reinyan: I’m sorry, I have owned that dog for twelve years and not once have I ever had a conversation with him… Have I ever talked to him? In Japanese?
Yuipon: *sees the letter has been written using a computer* WAIT MAX CAN TYPE?
Team M: Wow!
Maokyun: Wait a second, the letter itself goes into more detail. Here I go.
To Reina- *laughs*
Reinyan: Wait, Max?
Yuipon: Why does it sound like he’s looking down on you?
Aapon: Yeah it does sound like your dog is doing that.
Reinyan: Max? Max? Did you always call me that?
Maokyun: Happy Birthday-woof!
Reinyan: It might really be Max! It’s Max!
Maokyun:Firstly- … wait. This is hard to do. Okay here I go. Firstly, I-
*everyone laughs as the pronoun used is a very old fashioned way of saying I*
Aapon: Wait a second. Wait a second. In what era exactly was your dog born?
Reinyan: I bet he’s watching this right now with the rest of my family!
Maokyun:Firstly, I would have never expected to be writing you a letter-woof. There is something wrong with your birthday committee for requesting this-woof! I will try my best but as I’m not very familiar with the human language, I will use Papa-nyan for assistance!
Reinyan: MY DAD IS WRITING THIS?! THIS IS DEFINITELY MY DAD.
Maokyun: We first met when you were in the third grade-woof.
Reinyan: Wait a second, now that I know my dad wrote this it’s instantly a bit creepy!
Maokyun: No! These are the words which Max said and told your dad to write down! Anyway.
There were many things that happened-woof. Like the time when you came home from school with bad marks and hid them at the back of your desk drawer, or like the time when you came home from school with bad marks and put it through the paper shredder-
Aapon: He has great observational skills! It must be because he’s a dog!
Maokyun: Wait, there’s more:
Or like the time when you came home from school with bad marks and you tried to make me eat- *starts laughing*
*everyone starts laughing and Reinyan runs around the stage*
Reinyan: I DIDN’T DO IT! I DIDN’T! WAIT. THIS IS A MISUNDERSTANDING.
Maokyun: I’m so sorry, I will continue!
Or like the time when you came home from school with bad marks and you tried to make me eat them.
Reinyan: I DIDN’T!
Maokyun: Lots of things happened. But honestly I’ll say this here, the thing that I actually like eating as a treat is the soft type sashimi jerky-woof! Recently we haven’t been able to meet as often, but whenever you come home you always say ‘Maachan I’m home!’ straight away and you hug me. I’ll say this here, but *laughs* Okay. Yes. I’ll say this here, but you may think I’m happy and wagging my tail because of our reunion *laughs so hard she loses all powers of speech* but I’m actually not-woof. Since you squeeze so tightly when you hug me, I’m actually wagging my tail as a signal for help!
Reinyan: WAIT. YOU WERE TRYING TO TELL ME THAT? I’m sorry Max!
Aapon: My stomach hurts from laughing!
Maokyun: I’ll keep going. After I joined Reina’s family, my popularity has grown-woof! I have gone on television, appeared in magazines, and we even walked the runway together at a fashion show! It’s as to be expected, as I am known as the Takeuchi Riki* of the dog world.
Reinyan: Wait, that’s actually only because my dad really likes him!
Maokyun: Because of this though, I bet I could’ve still been a hero without Reina-woof! You’re already twenty one now-woof! From now, you have to work with an even greater sense of responsibility, not just for yourself, but for your kouhai as well. You should take note of the good things which you experienced in AKB, and also that you are now in a position to make things easier for your kouhai-woof. I want you to try your best-woof. If you ever need some comforting, I guess you can always play with me-woof.
Reinyan: Why does he sound like he’s looking down on me again…
Maokyun:Do your best at work-woof! And finally, thank you very much to the people who organised today’s seitansai, the people who always support Reina, NMB’s staff and the members. Thank you very much for today-woof! Although she’s an adult age-wise, she still needs everyone’s support-woof! Please continue cheering her on-woof!
It’s a crime scene! Nanana Nanana Na Na! I will arrest everyone’s hearts!** From Maachan, also known as Fujie Max!
Ayabaa: Your catchphrase was stolen!
Reinyan: *to Nana* Wait. By any chance, did you steal Max’s catchphrase to use for yourself?!
Maokyun:and also from Papanyan, who has now mastered the art of talking to dogs!
Ayabaa: That was too funny.
Maokyun: *to Reinyan* Please don’t try and feed Max your tests anymore okay?
Reinyan: I didn’t do it! Anyway, with this, I think I’ve gotten letters from every member in the family for my seitansais? I got one from everyone… I honestly never thought I’d ever get a letter from Max, though.
* - Takeuchi Riki is a famous Japanese actor, known mostly for his role in Yakuza films. Fun fact, he actually appears in NMB’s HA! PV as Sayanee’s father.
** - This is originally Yamada Nana’s catchphrase, which Max stole for his own in the letter
i’ve been watching loads of history documentaries today - don’t ask why and i got the inspiration to write this. it’s meant to be set in a patriarchal era so apologies for the slightly demeaning events that take place. and yep, val and maks are meant to be nonidentical twins in this piece
AU where Gwen leaves Camelot with Lancelot and they spend the years adventuring and rescuing people from bandits and gaining a reputation as noble badasses who protect the land, and sometimes they cross paths with Arthur and Merlin when they’re on quests and help them out
and then when they return to Camelot, when Arthur is king, both of them are knighted