mine ah

probably the worst thing for fake ah crew geoff about opening his place up to the crew is that he realizes how fucking horrible they are at taking care of themselves?? like okay geoff “will drink liquor as a meal” ramsey doesn’t exactly have anyplace to be judging from but like

  • gavin, how– how many energy drinks have you had. why are your fingers shaking like that. you weigh like six pounds of fucking course four red bulls are gonna make you jittery oh my god
  • jack how fucking long have you been working. those aren’t your clothes from yesterday, those are your clothes from two days ago, yes i’m sure, that hawaiian print is such an assault on my eyes i wouldn’t forget it
  • ryan you eat, um, nothing as far as i can tell and you sleep standing up, i think, which is weird, but then michael brings in donuts and you eat six in ten minutes and pass out on my couch, are you. are you okay.
  • speaking of donuts and all other foods and some non-foods: michael if you don’t stop trying to Eat Everything for a dare i’m gonna have to put stomach pumping services on speed dial
  • jeremy you have to stop letting gavin convince you to do stupid and/or dangerous things just because he’s filming it, you are going to straight-up die and i don’t really care how many youtube views that’ll net you
  • lindsay please stop trying to Fight Everything including your own crew, not every situation calls for a knife fight and if a situation does call for a knife fight the knife doesn’t gotta be that goddamn big
  • mica you can’t just go walking smugly into other gangs’ territories– no i don’t care that you can take them. you don’t go onto your shitty neighbor’s property and piss on their lawn just because you can. you’re gonna start a fight and then lindsay’s gonna get her knife out again.
  • trevor you leave a trail of coffee cups in your wake and i’m pretty sure they’re just filled with straight espresso. do you– i mean, we could just get you a rolling iv and drip caffeine straight into your veins at this point.
  • matt if you order forty breadsticks and nothing else for dinner one more time i may have an actual, literal aneurysm, have you ever eaten an actual vegetable in your life
  • ray i don’t even know where to start with you can you even name a vegetable.