Can you even imagine what it would be like to be a rookie player and get drafted by the Aces?

Lil’ baby hockey player is going to play in the big leagues with Kent Fucking Parson whose career he’s followed for years. He can barely even believe his hero is also going to be his captain. 

He shows up the first day and one of the other players surreptitiously takes him aside and says, “Parse is going to eventually ask you a question. You’d better say yes if you know what’s good for you.”

“But what will he ask me?”

“You’ll know when he asks it.”

So, the poor newbie waits with breath held for The Question for a while. Kent Parson surprises him. The Aces captain has always come across as a bit cocky in interviews, but when there aren’t any cameras around, he’s different.

The new guy almost forgets that there’s a question coming up until one day, after practice, Parse leans over and asks almost too casually, “I should ask, do you like cats?”

Everyone freezes in the change room, their eyes are suddenly fixed on the kid. He can feel his skin prickling in cold sweat. Parse’s expression was unreadable as he stares down the newest team member.

“Uh, um, I–” he stutters. It’s several long and uncomfortable seconds before he squeaks out a, “Yes.”

The tension is broken instantly. The guys sag in relief and and turn back to what they were doing before. Parse smiles brightly and punches the kid in the arm playfully before he pulls out his phone. “Okay, you have to see this picture of Kit from yesterday…”

As Parse continues to talk about his cat, the rookie is seized with a terrifying thought as the horror starts to sink in.

How is he going to tell his captain that he’s allergic to cats?