tips for writing essays in college

i feel like spongebob for making this list about writing essays to avoid writing an essay but Life Imitates Art and all that so anyway

  1. dont u dare spend 20 minutes of Premium Focus Time thinking of the perfect title save that nonsense for last bc most professors just want a title they dont really care how good it is
  2. put the date that the assignment is due in the header (no one has to know when you wrote it so just put the due date)
  3. figure out how to use the blackboard dropbox before 11:58pm the night something is due bc every second counts 
  4. most dropboxes let you name the file when you submit it but save your paper as something Appropriate just in case please my children im begging u
  5. be realistic about how long you can sit there writing an essay (ie dont block out 5 hours to write a paper when you know youll get bored 10 minutes in and sit on tumblr for 4 hours)
  6. dont write an essay while lying down u Fool
  7. if you have a paper due at 9 am and it’s 1am and you feel like death: sleep for 1 ½ hours (1 REM cycle) - 3 hours (2 REM cycles) and then wake up to finish the essay - sleeping 1 - 2 REM sleep cycles should be enough to leave you feeling refreshed and relaxed so take that long nap and then get back to work
  8. be contentious of your word choice - if you used ‘magnificent’ in the previous sentence then pick a different adjective (but make sure it fits and isnt just a synonym you found on thesaurus.com - people can tell when a word is clearly beyond the vocabulary of a paper)
  9. you dont have to start an essay as soon as it’s assigned but at least look at what the assignment entails so ur not emailing your professor at 11pm the night its due bc you dont know how many in-text citations are needed they might be up at that hour but that doesnt mean they want to answer your question
  10. the 5 Paragraph format is crap and i have yet to take a class where the professor wanted me to use it - they care more about pages than paragraphs so write however many paragraphs it takes you to fill x number of pages (could be 4 could be 6 could be 15 idk bud it’s up to you so get going)

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Are the white spaces really connected when you get them? Are the edges smooth? How’s the quality?

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