So I reading chapter 90 and just WOW!!!! Is all I have to say. I love that Deku says it can't be anyone but Kirishima. But can you explain that a little more please! But only if you have time.
The timestamp on this ask tells me I’ve been thinking about it for eight hours and right this moment I just decided, fuck it, the day after the anniversary sounds like a perfect moment to lose my shit over chapter 90 again, let’s do this
So the short answer in case you don’t have time for a trip through ninety chapters of the bnha manga is, Kirishima has with Bakugou a relationship unlike nearly anyone else, based on mutual trust and faith in each other’s strength and the firm understanding that neither of them is putting themselves above the other ever, and that made it so that in the group of people present at the moment Kirishima was the only one Bakugou would have willingly accepted help from, so that’s why it had to be him
That’s some great foundation for a mutually respectful relationship if I’ve ever seen one and my heart weeps a lot
BUT I said I was gonna cry about this properly so let’s do this let’s just go back to the beginning of the manga anon my pal I need you to understand why everything about that chapter has me in tears still even though it’s been a year and probably a thousand read-through’s
a/n: ok so here’s the first one!!!!! it turned out waaaaay bigger than I expected but I hope y'all cope with me and read it all bc I think it’s worth it. as I said it, there’s a nsfw part at the end so skip it if you’re not comfortable with that. and please, hit me up with feedback!!!!!!!! those are very important so yeah
ok so starting off with mr president himself: im jaebum!!!
ofc he was gonna be the president pls
so he majors in linguistics bc he wanted to do something different??? and like wanted to know the origins of words and its impacts etc etc LIKE DEEP STUFF
and he minors in philosophy bc well DEEP and he actually likes it a lot and he’s really good at it
you might think the guys don’t really respect him as a president but BITCH when jaebum is being serious they respect the hell out of him
he is the only one besides jinyoung that can actually put the place in order
a really good president???? like the university claims he’s an example even tho GOT had some complains in the past bc of it’s wild parties
he has this mysterious bad boy vibe all around him
but deep down he’s actually a softie
loves LOVES lOvEs his cat - her name is nora and she is the most precious thing to him
he wants to get more cats but he’s scared the guys will accidentally hurt them???? but getting more cats is totally on his plans
everyone on campus knows him - not just bc of GOT but well bc he’s that type of person that you just know who he is
he’s a MAJOR photography enthusiast
as you can see his instagram is totally aesthetic and with nice pictures
looks fucking good with a camera on his hands
actually looks fucking good doing anything
he’s also very passionate about music
like I told you he’s into deep stuff and he finds music quite deep
he’s actually a really good singer - youngjae said so himself
he also helps youngjae with his songs sometimes
they’re actually planning on recording jaebum a mixtape bc SURPRISE he’s really good at writing songs
has his earphones with him the whole time and don’t you dare touch them unless he offers to show you what he’s listening
yugyeom touched it without invitation once and well… it didn’t have a happy ending
his ipod is filled with pop punk songs and also rnb
reads a lot but not in public - no one actually knows why
maybe it has something to do with him wanting to keep this bad boy image around campus
has good grades bc he’s one of those people who are naturally smart and intelligent
he skips classes quite often
and when the guys wanna do it??? NO NO YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS TO CLASS
bambam tried to argue once that “why can you skip classes and I can’t????”
jaebum dead ass played the president card and bambam just lowered his head and went to class
he usually skips it when he’s way too hangover or he didn’t get a good night of sleep
has some trouble sleeping at night sometimes so you’ll often find him taking short naps at his classes
when he’s at parties he’s very lowkey unless he’s REALLY drunk
then he turns into the most extra person on the planet?????
he once went down the stairs with nothing but wipped cream on his Parts™ bc he lost a bet he made when he was drunk
no need to say the girls went NUTS
talking about girls…. they all want him
they all wanna know what’s his deal like is he really intimidating is he a bad boy etc etc
he didn’t use to hook up a lot
actually he kinda fell in love with this one person but it didn’t end well
he got hurt and since then he only has sporadic one night stands and they are with girls from other universities so he won’t have to see them often
no one talks about this girl episode tho
actually he doesn’t actually talk about his problems openly at all
when he’s too bothered he goes to jinyoung bc they go way back and are truly best friends
jinyoung just gets him and isn’t scared to tell him when he’s wrong
BUT he has everything written down on his notebook: his lyrics, his feelings and everything that goes on his mind
it is black and it says “people I want to punch in the face” in the cover
he thought about putting a picture of nora but decided against it bc it was “too soft”
he carries this notebook with him at ALL TIMES like truly 24/07
and he doesn’t like anyone touching it in fact it is his most private thing and no one can read it
jinyoung almost read it once and jaebum caught him
jaebum didn’t speak to him for a few weeks and shit got serious but they got over it after jinyoung begged for his forgiveness for like 15 days straight
he goes to the same cafe every morning ever since his first year
everyone there knows him and his order
he usually stays there for quite a while just scribbling things on his notebook and drinking coffee
he likes his coffee dark and bitter and he says it’s just like his soul
no one buys this analogy tho
you must be wondering where do you fit in this
well you’re quite of a coffee enthusiast yourself and you love to go around on campus and discover new cafes etc
one day after your children’s psychology class you were wondering around campus near the philosophy building and there was this small cafe with a cat by the window and you thought oh cute
so you decided to come in and order your traditional caramel macchiato
from that day on you started going there almost every day
a few weeks later you noticed this handsome mysterious guy writing down on his notebook and you couldn’t stop looking???? and then you realized he was there everyday too
you sort of wanted to talk to him but he’s too intimidating
one day one of your friends went there with you and he told you about im jaebum and how everyone knows him and how intimidating he must be
so then you kinda dropped the idea of talking to him until
well one day he left the cafe in a huge rush babbling something about forgetting a test and he ended up leaving his notebook on his table
you decided to pick it up and save for him so you could give it back the next day
and so on the next day you’re drinking your coffee and he arrives and as soon as he sits you go there with the notebook in hands but things don’t go that well
“hm hey so you forgot this here yesterday and I-” “oh my god what are you doing with my notebook” “calm down greg I just picked it up for you bc you forgot it on the table” “DID YOU READ IT?” “no???” “tell me the truth did you read it” “I said I didn’t” “just give me my fucking notebook I’m leaving”
you stood there with this confused look but then you got mad???
“well here’s your fucking notebook. I didn’t read it. I wouldn’t invade your privacy like that. I just kept it bc I also come here everyday and I thought well I’ll be nice and save it so I can give him back tomorrow. I would’ve left it on the table if I knew you were gonna be this rude. here it is. have a nice day”
and you left bc you were angry????? who does he think he is????
so from that day on you kinda changed the time you used to go to the cafe bc you didn’t wanna see him
fast forward a few days and a friend from your children’s psychology class - choi youngjae himself - invites you to a party his frat is organizing and you decide to go like why not
then you remember im jaebum is the president of the frat
but then you think OH SCREW IT I’m going and I’m gonna have a good time
so you’re there and a few drinks have settled in already. you’re not drunk you’re just a bit tipsy and joyful
you finally see youngjae so you go there to say hi and you two start talking
then you notice that jaebum is coming your way and you can’t not roll your eyes
“you know her youngjae?” “yeah jae. she’s in one of my classes. wait you two know each other?” “unfortunately. jaebum was an asshole to me a few days ago so excuse me I have to go”
and youngjae is giving jaebum this look that says wtf did you do dude go apologize
jaebum rolls his eyes but he goes after you and he calls you “cafe girl”
you turn and you’re not in the mood so
“what do you want jaebum?” “I wanna know your name so I can apologize properly”
you debate on just leaving but you tell him your name and he just stares at you
“are you actually saying something or can I just leave?” “hm no! don’t leave.. I just.. I’m sorry. I was an asshole. I shouldn’t have acted like that, you know, like a stupid rude asshole.” “yup you shouldn’t” “so I’m really sorry. and grateful that you kept my notebook. it’s really important to me and very personal so that’s why I acted like that.” “ok noted” “can I get you a drink to earn your apology and then we can talk like two normal people?”
you thought about saying no. you did. but he had the prettiest and most genuine smile across his face and you couldn’t deny
and then you two talk all night long and you find out he’s actually a really nice and cool guy with a great talk
so it’s late and you have to go home and he offers to walk you to your dorm and you tell him there’s no need but he insists and you let him
you two keep on talking and walking and he grabs your hand and when you look at him he has the cutest smile and that makes you wanna kiss his face but you don’t
you get to your dorm and you two exchange numbers and as soon as your inside your room you get a text
[01:35] jaebum: I really wanted to kiss you tonight. but I’ll take you on a proper date before that. are you free tomorrow?
so from that day on you two start hanging out and getting to know each other and going on dates and cute cafes and holding hands across campus and kissing under trees like this huge walking cliche
at first girls kept staring at you like they were surprised that THE im jaebum has a girl
and it was funny bc he walked with his arm around you like you were the most precious thing on the campus and the girls also looked kinda jealous
he allowed you to read something on his notebook once: it was a bunch of scribbled notes about you and it was so sweet and loving and then he asked you to be his girlfriend so BOOM you two were official
the guys start teasing the hell out of him because WOW you’ve turned jaebum into this huge ball of fluff
he’s really this soft dork whenever your around and that’s really cute
you two have this ritual of going to That cafe every morning and when one of you can’t make it the other one picks up coffee for the go
you had to be approved by nora in order for this relationship to work and sometimes he regrets it bc he swears you and nora like each other more than you two like him
it took him a while to open up to you but he did eventually
he makes you cds in a very old fashion way every month with songs he wants to show you or that make him think of you
and you give him this list with book recommendations so you can discuss later
you spend a lot of time at the frat helping him out with his president duties
he walks you to his classes
loves LOVES seeing you in his jackets or with the frat’s shirt
takes a lot of pictures of you - really, a lot. you’re having dinner? his camera is up. you’re putting make up? his camera is up. you’re sitting on the couch? his camera is up. like literally he has a ton of pics of you in his camera roll
you can keep him in check when he’s too nervous or too stressed and that’s great
he’s a bit jealous sometimes but he’s getting better
sex is a very important thing for him bc he belives that sex is a way to express love
like honestly he is very very sexy and he basically exhales sex so
usually he’s a dom and into rough sex
but there are some days when he just wants to appreciate you so he goes in deep for passionate sex and those days are amazing
sex is always very intense and intimate
not much into trying new things but will do it for you
never steps over your boundaries when it comes to sex (actually over anything but especially in bed) and you trust him a lot so
has a huge oral kink and also likes hair pulling
doesn’t care about doing it when the guys are around the dorm
overall he’s not the typical frat boy and a very soft person and you two became the bossy royalty couple and everyone loves you two
Hereby I would like to give you a list of movies I sincerely recommend you to watch, beside the ones that have already occurred in my other movie suggestion lists. They all have an impact on both psychological and philosophical levels and provoke a wide array of emotions and reactions that make you think and feel for real.
1. A Beautiful Mind
It was my favourite movie for long years and it is still high up. Shortly put it is the story of the discovery and evolution of the Nobel-prize winner mathematician John Nash’s mental illness, but it does it in such a mind-twisting manner and it contains so many lessons and models for how to deal with certain situations, how to fight and how to love.
2. Requiem for a Dream
Shivers and mind-blown, that is what and how I felt after watching this movie. It presents the effects of intentional and non-intentional drug use and addiction in a way that certainly haunts you. Spoiler: it might make you feel afraid of your fridge.
3. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
A beautiful, non-conventional, innovating love story that brings out the feels out of the viewer, even out of those that guard their feelings with skyscraping fences. You cannot let yourself not be invaded by deep emotions while watching it.
4. The Shawshank Redemption
The tale of hope and dignity triumphing over inhumane conditions, through the story of an escape from prison. It is a movie transmitting the importance of high moral virtues - the norm for a dignified human life.
5. (500) Days of Summer
I really appreciate the soundtrack of this movie. It is a love story which many can relate to, presented in a slightly unconventional manner which makes it stand out among similar themed movies. Listen to the music, sometimes it tells more than the lines of the characters.
I’ve sort of morphed together two anon requests to create my first Sewoon scenario, enjoy! (You + Jung Sewoon)
You and Sewoon were both music majors in college at a competitive music college that accepted very few students
You were majoring in piano performance, Sewoon was majoring in music composition
Sewoon was your senior at the school, and he was relatively famous at the school for being in a band and composing songs for others at the school and artists
In the band, he played guitar and sang, making him the “face” of the group, leading to widespread popularity
Because of this, you already knew exactly who he was before even getting accepted to the school
However, you (and pretty much everyone else) didn’t have any actual information on his personality outside of his music skills and band persona
He was relatively quiet in the classroom, only seen talking with his best friends Jaehwan, Youngmin, and Donghyun
(Sewoon and Jaehwan were actually caught wildly giggling together in class once, a rumor that had spread around the school earlier that year)
Basically anything that Sewoon did was talked about, but he didn’t really do anything about the attention
You had gone through your freshman year without many problems, it was a pretty normal year
So when you returned to school for sophomore year, the last thing you expected was to find that your dorm room assignment was right across the hall from Sewoon and Jaehwan
Like you open your door and bAM thats their room ! !
You were pretty nervous at first about this situation, because lets be real who wouldn’t be… the two were practically celebrities at the school (Jaehwan was highly regarded by the students because of his stellar performance on a singing variety show)
It was really cool at first, being so close to Sewoon and Jaehwan on a daily basis, even though you never talked to them lol (I mean, they were practically celebrities at this point)
You would always greet them politely, though, at least at the beginning of the school year
But that got old FAST
The long nights of singing and guitar strumming quickly turned from interesting to heLLISH
Like how are you supposed to sleep if the two decide to sing the Jurassic Park theme on repeat at 3 in the morning
Soon, you were absolutely tired of the both of them (physically and mentally), and after holding back for weeks, you finally ended up bursting one night when they just wouldn’t stop singing: this time it was Sewoon doing impressions and Jaehwan maniacally laughing in response
So in a matter of seconds, you immediately switched from being some harmless neighbor to psYCHO BITCH and gave the two roommates a piece of your mind
It really was a frightening sight: you screaming at the top of your lungs in a ginormous t-shirt, your hair going every which way, a consequence of rolling around in bed for hours
Jaehwan immediately apologized, but you didn’t hear Sewoon mutter under his breath “this is a music school, what do you expect”
(good thing you didn’t hear that, or who knows what would have happened)
Anyway you thought it would be all fine and dandy after that, as you headed into your room, but as you closed your door you heard Jaehwan being the idiot he is, claiming that your hair looked like Chewbacca if he “walked straight into a hurricane”
You whipped the door back open to scream some more, only to come face to face with Sehwan’s closed door
You sighed and gave up, climbing up to your bed to attempt to save the last hours of sleep you had left
The next morning, before heading to classes, you met Sewoon in the hall outside your door coincidentally
Not the best timing; you were still pissed at the whole Chewbacca thing
“Ah, (Y/N), good morning… I see you’ve… improved your hairstyle”, he greeted you, unable to hold back a mischievous smile at his own “joke”
It was the first time he had ever called you by your name, but you weren’t starstruck at all; if anything this comment worsened your mood
You didn’t have it in you to respond, and just blankly stared at him before walking away
Your anger subsided throughout the day, but when you returned back to your dorm in the evening, you were greeted with the undeniably pleasant but to you, angering sounds of a strumming guitar and a quiet voice
You dumped your backpack in your room and immediately walked over to Sehwan’s room, banging on the door
“It hasn’t even been one day, can y’all just stop fucking playing for one second??” you screamed at the closed door, once again looking like a crazy person
“Or can you just go play in a practice room or a common room or literally anywhere el–” you continued, your rant suddenly coming to a stop when the door opened, revealing a calm-looking Sewoon, his soft eyes meeting your gaze
You were taken aback: based on looks alone, he really could be a rockstar or a boyband member or a solo artist or a CEO or a male model the possibilities are endless
Just like that, your anger was drifting away (Sewoon is Powerful), and it took all your might to keep a stern face
But that didn’t last long, when Sewoon finally spoke
“(Y/N). You realize this is a music school, right? Am I not allowed to practice in my room? This is for my career as well. Think about that,” he calmly said, closing the door
You were unable to respond to that, but still angry: just because it’s a music school doesn’t mean they have to play at night every day… right?
Your mind ran wild with insults and angry justifications for his behavior: He really let the “fame” get to his head, didn’t he. His band’s songs are lame anyways, whatever…
But for the next month or so, your sleep was interrupted every day in the wee hours of the morning, after a few quiet hours from 10pm to then
Jaehwan and Sewoon thought you would be asleep by then, and resumed their practicing/singing/screaming
At first, you would confront the two every day, but after seeing absolutely no change (“we thought you were asleep sorry”), you just bought a pair of noise-cancelling headphones, which seemed to do the job (despite how uncomfortable it was sleeping with them on)
Other than those few meetings, you never met with Sewoon – the two of you just mutually and individually decided that talking with the other would not result in anything good
Jaehwan seemed politer though, and you always met him with a smile
But one night at the end of the first semester, you were surprised to hear a knock on your door – a switch from the times when you always used to bang on Sehwan’s door
You were getting ready to sleep, and opened your door… who was disturbing your nighttime routine?
It was Sewoon, looking like he hadn’t slept in days, looking like a crazy musician, and your expression immediately turned unpleasant
You were prepared to argue with him about whatever he had to say but fighting was apparently the last thing on his mind
“(Y/N), Jaehwan’s not here and I really need someone to run this piano verse by for an assignment due tomorrow; I need to experiment with the guitar while I hear it in the background, can you please help me I really urgently need this or I wouldn’t be asking” he rambled, some of his words completely incoherent
And how could you be angry at that? For the first time he looked not like this star of the school but instead like a normal college sleep-deprived kid, and you had to admit that was adorable
“Yeah, sure, let’s make it quick though,” you said, as he lead you into his room
“Sorry about the mess, I’ve kind of been busy lately,” Sewoon muttered as the two of you stepped around his strewn-about clothes and cans of energy drinks
You sat at the piano, where Sewoon set a piece of handwritten sheet music on its stand
Sewoon grabbed his guitar and sat on the bench, right next to you, your knees meeting under the piano
“Sorry about that (Y/N), I’d like to see the music as well,”
“It… it’s fine,” you mumbled, the words tumbling out of your mouth as a blush coated your cheeks: the position you two were in was… innocent but intimate
“Okay, you can start now,” Sewoon’s soft voice snapping you out of your daze
You began to sightread the music, and Sewoon’s guitar jumped out with random notes and chords, melting the sounds of both into a beautiful mixture that satisfied your ears
“Oh (Y/N), stop there hold on one second,” Sewoon breathed, grabbing a nearby pen and paper before he started furiously writing notes and rhythms
You were shocked at the sight: he really was a true musician, a genius even, and you didn’t understand the amount of effort he put into his songwriting until now
He asked you to play again suddenly, and he would pluck out the tune again in perfect harmony
At times he made you play a part over and over again before deciding if it was good enough, shocking you with how caring he was about a single measure, a perfectionist indeed
This pattern kept on going for hours: Sewoon asking you to play and then telling you to stop when inspiration hit him
Time flew by, and you had no idea how much fun you were having – sometimes you added in your own little flairs to the piece, causing Sewoon to add the bits he liked into the music permanently
Despite how much you two had despised one another, you made a good team
Sometimes your arms would bang on one another’s while playing, causing the both of you to laugh when wrong notes were hit as a result
You really felt yourself enjoying the time you spent with him: as a performer, you practiced a lot, but you had never experienced how much creativity it took to write music
He wasn’t just this incredibly beautiful and popular guy: he was talented and hardworking as well, and you felt the respect for him welling up inside of you
In the middle of the morning, Sewoon was finally finished with his writing
“Thanks so much for your help (Y/N), I would’ve been up all night if it weren’t for you… it’s so much more time efficient when I don’t have to play both parts,”
“It’s no problem,” you mumbled back, glancing shyly at Sewoon in response
You two stared at each other for a moment, still right next to each other on the bench, before Sewoon’s gaze snapped away and broke the silence
“It’s already 2, you should get back to your room,”
What?? 2??? Already?? I haven’t even been here that long, you thought, before checking your phone and gasping in shock, making Sewoon laugh
You had given up your precious sleep to be with him, and for some reason you weren’t mad at all about that
You stood up, ready to leave, but the thoughts you’d been having escaped your mind and out your mouth
“That was actually kinda fun, sorry I stayed so late… if you need help in the future just let me know,” you said, immediately getting embarrassed at your own words
Sewoon hit you with that charming smile, replying that “it was fun, nighttime is actually when I write best, so this isn’t late for me, no worries”
“Oh that’s why you–” you began, realizing that all those noises at the middle of the night were literally Sewoon composing like he had been today
You felt like an asshole and quickly bid him goodnight before escaping his room and jumping on your bed to attempt to sleep
But even though it was the middle of the night, much past your bedtime, you couldn’t seem to stop your mind from racing and your heart from beating about what had just happened
From then on, instead of meeting Sewoon with a glare or ignoring him completely when you saw him, you would subconsciously sneak glances at him or smile or blush and get all fluffy inside
You two would actually talk sometimes now, making Jaehwan completely confused on what changed the relationship between the two of you so dramatically
You suddenly didn’t mind the nighttime music sessions, and you actually found yourself falling asleep to the sounds of Sewoon and Jaehwan’s voices singing together
You weren’t sure if you two were friends now and didn’t know if you should approach him again or what
But about a week later, Sewoon approached you himself, thanking you for your help and letting you know that he had aced the assignment
You envied his being able to come talk to you like it was nothing (but little did you know that Sewoon had been looking for an excuse to talk to you again after that night
“Oh, I’m glad everything worked out, you really worked very hard on that”
“Thanks, I couldn’t have done it without your help, (Y/N),”
*cue awkward silence of twiddling fingers and stealing glances at one another
“Uh, so to repay you for that, if you want I can help you learn some guitar, it seemed like you were really interested that night,” Sewoon coughed out, nervously glancing at you (looking like a complete 180 (or 360 as ong would say) from his confidence-exuding stage presence)
“Oh, y-yeah sure that sounds fine, I mean I’d really like that,” you replied, this whole situation not making it any easier for you to focus
“Okay, Jaehwan won’t be here again tonight so just pop in when you’re free?”
“Sure, yeah, will do,” you replied, the both of you standing there for another second before waving goodbye and walking in different directions
For the rest of that day you couldn’t stop thinking about your meeting/lesson/date thing with Sewoon (what was it??) and zoomed back to your dorm after classes, stressing about what to wear and how you looked before giving up and settling for your normal sleep outfit
Don’t get ahead of yourself, (Y/N)…
You had no idea how you had gone from hating this guy to now… whatever you felt about him, but either way you weren’t thinking about it
That evening, you knocked on Sewoon’s door, and he opened it for your eyes to be greeted with a completely cleaned room
“Wow, Sewoon, you clean up well,”
“I assume you mean the room, not me,” Sewoon laughed back at you, as you finally looked at him, wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants lol
“You look really good too,” you let out accidentally, mentally kicking yourself as you caught Sewoon’s smile at your response, teasingly raising his eyebrows
The two of you walked into his room, Sewoon telling you to take a seat on his bed because that’d be the most comfortable place for you two to sit
He grabbed his guitar and sat next to you on the bed, immediately placing his guitar into your hands
“Uh, Sewoon, isn’t this your guitar,” you whispered nervously: it must be incredibly expensive, Sewoon was known for being extremely attached to and taking perfect care of his instruments
“It’s fine, (Y/N), I trust you, for now…” he replied, poking you
He started by teaching you the strings of the guitar and how to hold it, his fingers occasionally brushing yours, and his arm purposefully holding yours to demonstrate how to carry it
You felt his chest softly pressing against your shoulder and part of your back, and you thought that there was no way you would be focusing on the actual lesson
After that though, Sewoon let you play by yourself, you quickly picking up easy tunes like twinkle twinkle little star and hot cross buns (aw)
Your “lesson” thing lasted about an hour, and you actually started learning well – Sewoon was a great teacher
The lessons became a regular occurrence, happening most nights if not all, at the same time every day: Sewoon claimed that Jaehwan had an activity every night during that time anyway, so it’d be fine for you to come over
(what you didn’t know was Jaehwan was banished to a practice room or Youngmin/Donghyun’s room every night per instruction of Sewoon SLKDFJ LOL)
Sometimes your meetings would morph into a jam session, with you either playing like a n00b on the guitar or like a virtuoso on the piano, the both of you having a lot of fun together
One day Jaehwan got tired of having to wait forever to leave you two alone, and crashed your party, screaming “JUST DATE ALREADY WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO SUFFER FOR THIS”
“Wait, why are you suffering, Jaehwan,” you asked, unknowing of the situation
“SEWOON KEEPS KICKING ME OUT SO THAT HE CAN BE WITH YOU BECAUSE HE WON’T JUST TELL YOU ALREADY THAT HE–”Jaehwan exploded before Sewoon tackled him out of the room, slapping a hand over Jaehwan’s mouth, closing and hardlocking the door so that Jaehwan couldn’t even get in with his key LOL
“Sorry about that, (Y/N), I was going to tell you eventually but I guess he pretty much did the job for me,” Sewoon mumbled, sheepishly scratching the back of his neck
“I am honestly so confused right now, I barely could hear what was going on, Jaehwan honestly just seems psychotic,” you replied
“Oh, well…” Sewoon started, grasping one of your hands, “it’s pretty obvious but we’ve been spending a lot of time together and you’re a really good musician and really cute and I like you a lot,” Sewoon spewed out, as you stared in awe at his blushing face
He looks… adorable.
“UGH FINALLY!” Jaehwan screamed from outside the door (he must be listening lol), but the both of you ignored him (hah take that psycho)
“oh- oh? You do?” was all you managed to get out
“I mean, if you don’t like me that’s completely fine, I don’t have a problem with continuing to teach you guitar, I’ll just have to charge you now,” Sewoon laughed out, attempting at a joke as he let go of your hand
But instinctively you grabbed his hand with the both of yours
“No– no! That’s totally not it I mean I really like you too you’re practically a musical genius and you’re really nice to me even though I treated you like an asshole at first and–,” you awkwardly rambled, Sewoon cutting your words off by pulling you tightly into a hug
You expected him to say something, but all Sewoon was giggle like a fool and unlock the door for Jaehwan with one of his hands
“Hyung you can come in now,” letting Jaehwan fling open the door to find the two of you all cuddled up on one another
“EW I’M LEAVING THAT’S SO GROSS GET AWAY FROM ME” Jaehwan screamed, leaving the two of you alone again, laughing at whatever the hell just happened in the past 10 minutes
And that was that: you and Sewoon had somehow transformed from enemies to lovers
Lots of music dates, you willingly compromised your sleeping schedule to play music with Sewoon, sometimes writing your own
Guitar lessons continued, but… they became less innocent than before (I’ll let you decide what that should mean heh)
Nighttime karaoke was not unusual, and Jaehwan couldn’t resist participating
The two of you learned from one another, and brought different perspectives to writing and playing
You supported him at his concerts #1 fan lol and he always came to your piano performances
so darn cuTe yay
Music truly does bring people together :’)))
A/N: OMG this ended up way longer than I thought it would. Must be because I tried to incorporate both requests LOL whooops
also ahHH I feel so bad for not posting more in the past few days – I had to finish up exit presentations for my job but NOW I’M FREE for the most part so I promise to be a good admin and finish up all these requests! Thanks for your patience once again!!
Imagine Jared Leto is Your Best Friend’s Dad - Chapter 9
The song On My Mind by Ellie Goulding inspired this chapter. Totally suggest to listen while reading!
Chapter 9 - On My Mind
It was fun while it lasted, but all things must come to an end. We gathered our belongings and placed them by the door. Dasha and Sydney’s parents picked them up. And it was just Allegra and I.
“Allegra!” Mr. Leto called from the kitchen. “These clothes need to be washed.”
“Yeah, but who’s going to walk Kerri home?” she asked.
“Oh, that’s right.” He crept around the corner as he dried a bowl with a paper towel.
His head rested against the wall as he looked at me. His grin stretching from ear to ear like the Cheshire Cat himself. “I’ll walk her home,” he said.
“But Dad!-” Allegra whined in protest.
“Sorry honey.” He cut her off, still drying the bowl. “You need to hit those clothes. They’re a mile high!”
“Fine.” She fumed.
“Besides… it be nice to see Ms. Sanders and Nico – it’s been a while,” his eyes lit up as he thought.
Apparently, I had no say in this matter. I stared back at Mr. Leto, trying to see what lurked behind his eyes. Was there another trick up his sleeve?
“Just give me 5 minutes Kerri and we can head over.” He told me before quickly shuffling away.
After Allegra and I said our goodbyes, I fetched my things, making sure everything was packed. I didn’t live far away at all, like 2 ½ blocks down, but I guess no neighborhood not matter how nice is safe to travel alone in the evening.
Butt up and head down, I bent over, trying to squeeze everything in my bag. There was this one section that just wouldn’t zip. It was stuffed to the max. I thought I heard something behind me but I was too focused on this. If Allegra wants to make a joke about how silly I look, so be it. I placed the bag between my legs as I pushed down with one hand and tried to zip with the other. Once it finally fit, I stood up straight, and flung my hair back. I turned around and to my surprise, I saw Mr. Leto there leaning against the wall.
Song based imagine (they seem to be my thing at the moment), this time based on No Promises by Shawn Mendes. Again, hope you guys like it, it’s a little fluffy (I’m so bad at author’s notes omg) x
Staring out my hotel window Too much on my mind
It was the night after one too many drinks at the Grill.
When you’d arrived, you had one plan: to get as drunk as possible. And you’d succeeded in that, really, you had. You just hadn’t planned on waking up the next morning next to Kol Mikaelson.
That had been a bit of a shock when you’d opened your eyes, your head on his bare chest, his arm wrapped around you.
You’d figured from the lavish decor of the bedroom that you were at his house, well rather, his family’s mansion. Not quite knowing what to do next, you got up, being careful not to wake him, pulled on one of his shirts and made your way over to the window.
Shit. Shit, shit, shit.
You’d always thought the youngest Mikaelson brother was attractive, I mean, who wouldn’t? But he had a reputation. This was bad. This was so bad.
“If it’s so bad, why are you still here?”
You closed your eyes at the sound of Kol’s voice. So obviously, you’d said that out loud.
“Better off keeping your thoughts to yourself, darling, if you don’t want anyone to hear them.”
You turned to face him, never taking your eyes off that smirk that adorned his face.
“Are you going to speak, Y/N? Or am I going to have to for you?”
You kept your mouth shut, a clear act of defiance.
He rolled his eyes, clearly enjoying your irritation. Bastard.
“Fine. I’ll ask it. What do you want to do now?”
Oh no we don’t need to over-complicate it Cause I’ve been here once before don’t even say it
“What do I want to do? We had sex, Kol. I’d rather just forget about it.”
And then the bastard started laughing. Laughing.
“Why are you laughing? There’s nothing funny about this.”
“I’m sorry, love. You’re just not overly intimidating when you’re angry. And besides, why do you want to forget about it? Was I really that bad?”
“I wouldn’t know. I can’t exactly remember.”
“Well then maybe I should jog your memory,” Kol moved from his position on the bed, wrapping the sheet around his waist before walking over to you. You stepped back.
“Don’t touch me.”
“Not what you were saying last night.”
His finger brushed your cheek, sending your heart into overdrive. Why did he have to be attractive?
“Would you believe me, Y/N, if I said I actually quite like you?”
“Depends. Do you?”
And then he kissed you.
Baby please no promises Cause we won’t keep our promises And I know the consequences So baby please, baby please no promises
You liked Kol. You knew that. You also knew that that night was just the beginning.
You’d both agreed that nothing serious would come of your weekly meetings, where things would happen.
But as time went on, your feelings for him developed into something else. However, you knew that if you told him, you’d ruin a perfectly good thing.
You thought about all this as you lay in his arms one night. He was asleep, his chest rising and falling, his face nuzzled into your neck.
The silence was perfect. And you’d both agreed no promises. No attachments.
summary: soulmate! au with baejin in which he’s still an idol who’s part of wanna one a/n: requested
so how it works is that soulmates share emotions
whenever your soulmate is feeling any type of extreme emotion, you feel it too
and vice versa
and apparently, according to everyone around you who had already met their own soulmates, you’ll just know when you meet yours?
apparently you’re supposed to feel like a rush of a range of emotions when you meet them for the first time, and you just know in your heart that you’ve met them
sounds kinda sketchy to you but ok
anyways the one thing you’re thankful for is that whoever your soulmate was seemed to be relatively emotionless lol
he seemed to rarely feel any type of way extremely enough that you felt it too
most of the time growing up, you’d just feel a random sense of joy now and then
of course there were times when he got sad and angry too but those times were rare
but tbh you kind of felt bad for him bc although you were generally an optimistic and happy person, you’re also super short-tempered
so there must have been times when your soulmate who was having a perfectly good and happy day must have gotten fricking irritated out of nowhere
so you always make a mental note to yourself to apologise to him when you two finally meet lol
ok anyways things were going smoothly for about the first 15 years of your life
until suddenly you started to feel super down all the time?
like on some days you’d be going to school, doing your work, hanging out with your friends, doing whatever you usually do but there’d always be this dull ache and sort of.. hopelessness? at the back of your mind
it started out with you feeling this way for like 1 or 2 days in a few weeks but the frequency started increasing to the point where you were feeling like this almost every other day
the reason why you were feeling this way should have been obvious to you but for some reason you just couldn’t figure it out
guess it’s like how people sometimes miss what’s right under their nose
you try to think of reasons why you were feeling this way because honestly everything in your life was going relatively fine and you weren’t particularly having any big problems
you were having a particularly bad day once when you were hanging out with your friends and they notice
so they start asking you about it and once you confess that you have no idea why you’re so lost
they’re like “omg y/n… it’s obvious isn’t it? it’s your soulmate”
and it suddenly hits you and you’re like oh wtf….
and you get a little overwhelmed bc for some reason you’re thinking about how if you were already feeling so low all the time, your soulmate who was the actual person feeling the full force of the emotions must be going through such a hard time
what’s he going through that makes almost every other day so confusing and hard for him? assuming he’s around your age, he’s kinda young to have gone through anything too horrible
the thought breaks your heart
in fact you somehow feel so bad for him that you start tearing up
your friends are like oh y/n :((((
one thing you hate about all this though is that sometimes your own emotions get buried under your soulmates’
like now and then you feel sad or down because of your own life but because your soulmate was feeling that way pretty often you don’t even know whether you’re the one who’s sad or if it’s your soulmate
and this means you can’t even take care of yourself properly
the inherent flaw in the system tskkk
anyways after a few days one of your friends invites all of you over to her house to like hang out
and one of your friends is having a super bad day bc of her soulmate
wtf this kind of thing makes you hate the soulmate system so much because if one person is already sad then why does the universe have to double the feeling and increase the negativity index in the world? smh
in fact you’re so angry about it that you tell yourself to calm down bc if not your soulmate’s gonna feel it lol
so in order to cheer up your friend your other friend suggests you guys watch the second season of produce 101 which had started airing a while ago
and you’re all eager to agree bc y’all loved the first season
so you guys marathon the first few episodes of broduce and even from the first episode you have your eyes set on the mmo boys
i mean how could you not they are literally talking every five seconds
and their performance of A is not too bad and you’re especially interested in the guy with the pink hair like you think he dances super well
so this means that while watching the show you should be most affected by daniel right since you’re the most impressed by him?
there’s this other trainee called baejin who looks super shy and anxious throughout the first few episodes and for some reason your heart breaks every time they show him struggling
like you empathise with him so much that you feel like you almost know exactly how he must feel?
you don’t even know much about this guy but you can tell how unsure and hesitant he is
as the weeks pass it becomes a tradition for you and your friends to come together every friday night and watch broduce together (where can i get friends like these lol)
you’re kind of surprised because in the episode where daniel gets ranked last in his sorry sorry team and the disappointment shines through in his eyes despite his smile
you’re more concerned and curious about what’s gonna happen to baejin
so like although you claim to your friends that daniel is your one pick they all know that it’s baejin lmao
as the episodes pass you are sooo glad and proud to see him gaining confidence
when you guys are watching the final episode and baejin is the center for hands on me you actually cRY because of how happy and proud you are
and when it’s announced that he’s going to debut? there are no words to explain how happy and relieved you are bc ur FAV MADE IT!!!
but as you’re watching the ending moments of the last episode and it’s late into the night and all your friends including yourself are sobbing messes
suddenly there’s a thought that sneaks its way into your mind
tbh you weren’t really feeling all sad and low recently? especially in the past few weeks
and it’s just that of course all of you guys were pretty emo about broduce but you were so particularly invested and focused on baejin
and considering the fact that you weren’t one to get so emotional about stuff like survival shows
you feel like it’s almost as if,,,,,,
never mind, you shut yourself up before you can even entertain the thought because it’s a ridiculous one and your friends would probably laugh at you if you voiced it out loud
so you just let it go and cry happy tears for baejin that night and a little bit more for your original fav daniel who has risen to the status of a king and a little more sad tears for jonghyun & the rest
anyways so yeah the days go on as usual after that and you get so busy with school stuff that you don’t really have time to pay too much attention to wanna one stuff
so like around a month later you’re with your friends as always hanging out when one of your friends is like
“hey guys i think wanna one just released their debut mv wanna watch”
and you guys are like hell yeah
so you watch
and the thing is??? you haven’t seen baejin for so long despite being so attached to him bc you’re so busy but the moment he appears on the screen again you’re so overwhelmed bc wtHECK you love this boy
you’re so happy watching them at their debut showcon
and you’re like wow i’m gonna be this boy’s fan forever he’s so talented and amazing and handsome and funny etc etc etc the list goes on 4ever
but as you’re thinking that there’s the other thought creeping into your mind again and you’re troubled
you think about it for a while
and decide that the only way to understand it is if you could meet him
which is nearly impossible because he’s a fricking superstar
but,,, they’re having their first fansign soon and although you don’t have enough money to like buy hundreds of albums to guarantee yourself a spot in it
you decide that maybe you could apply with just one album
if you got in, then it was the universe trying to make something happen
sounds kinda stupid and highly unlikely even to you but you have nothing to lose so you buy that album
((you get daehwi’s photocard lmao))
when the announcement for who got in is up you’re super anxious and you open the website and ???!!!!!
your name is there??!!
you have to rub your eyes and squint a little to make sure that you’re not hallucinating but yes, your name is right there
you are overwhelmed to say the least
like you had no idea what to make of this because??? you literally bought ONE album?????? this has to be a joke
you know you should be grateful and thanking the lords for the miracle because that’s what this was - a damn miracle
and beyond that you’d never actually expected to make it this far but now that you’re here you have no idea what to do next
like you’re Actually gonna be meeting baejin (at the back of ur mind you’re kinda feeling lightheaded at the thought of daniel up close but mmm yeah)
and you want time to slow down so you can slowly plan everything out but of course not
time moves the fastest when you want it to pause
so when the day comes you spend like 3 whole hours getting ready with the help of your friends who are screaming at you because they can’t believe your luck
you don’t dare to tell them the actual reason behind why you applied bc you’re embarrassed lol
but anyways everything else passes in a blur and before you know it you’re inside the tiny fansign venue and the 11 members are right there in front of you
you purposely avoid looking at baejin bc it makes you super anxious and you’re afraid to do it but you do get a little distracted from your original intentions by the other members lol
after all you were a fan of them all
soon you’re queuing up to go talk to them and baejin is towards the middle of the members
you don’t even remember what you talked about with the first few members but once you get to baejin
and look at him
and he looks up at you and says hi?
for a fleeting second you wonder if this was the feeling of being starstruck
but you look at him and..,,
why does he look starstruck too
“hi! what’s your name?”
he manages out after a second but his voice is kinda shaky and his wide eyes stay on yours
and you try to reply him but you can’t because your voice has run away
and after a second he just puts down the marker and looks at you with his eyes full of so many different emotions
and as cliched as it sounds, in that moment you know
after a few moments of silence you somehow manage to choke out your name
and baejin somehow manages to write it out and sign your album
just as he finishes signing and opens his mouth as if to finally say something, the security behind him looks over and gestures for you to move on to the next member
and your mind is telling your feet to move but somehow you stay rooted to the spot looking at baejin who looks like he has so many things to say
but in the end the security ends up asking you to move again and this time you do
you can’t say anything to the rest of the members because you are sooo conflicted like first of all??? baejin
second of all?? was this the end? you hadn’t even managed to say anything to him
so the rest of the time is a daze and the reality only hits you when you’re back at your seat
and you see him looking at your direction several times
you’re panicking though because you’ve missed your only chance to talk to him so how is anything gonna work out after this?
but suddenly you remember what your mother always told you about these things
if it’s meant to happen, it’ll happen. the universe will find a way to make it happen
surely enough, when the fansign wraps up and everyone leaves
you’ve just stepped out of the door when a burly big man comes towards you
“excuse me, is this y/n?”
one second you’re lowkey scared but you nod anyway
“i’m sorry, could you come back in for a second? bae jinyoung asked for you. i believe it’s something important”
drop me an ask or message me to tell me what u think! thank uuuu for reading <3
Made my blood thump 7-8-9. Make my heart beat double time Now I’m only sour cherry on the fruit stand, right? Am I the only sour cherry on the fruit stand?
Shout when you wanna get off the ride Shout when you wanna get off the ride ‘cos it crossed my mind It crossed my mind I’m a penny in a diamond mine We could be movers, We could be shakers If we could just shake something out of the blue and get off the ride
hello dear person! how about an hc for rfa +v+saeran+vanderwood with an always exhausted mc? they are always yelled at for 'being lazy' but they notice after mc explains that mc is actually tired. but weirdly, all tests always come normal :) thank you! ~love, sugar anon
hey, sugar anon! Sorry for taking so long with your requests(⌣̩̩́_⌣̩̩̀) but thanks a bunch for being patient!
hope you like it💛 [its,,,kinda short,,,]
he probably noticed mc’s slightly laziness right away
it was impossible to get them to work out with him
he even pulled the puppy dog eyes and everything
“but zenny..I’m too tired..”
dang, can’t argue with that. not with that look
so he lets it go for a bit
until even his director kind of started complaining about mc’s laziness
now he really has to ask them about it
mc explains that they’re actually tired. They really want to do things, but,,,
so now zen pays extra attention to them(even i didn’t think that was possible)
and he notices that mc is actually..really tired all the time
but is it a problem? nope! he’ll gladly carry them!
bridal style, piggy back, over the shoulder
he thinks its cute omg
“I’ll be your chariot, sweet pea!”
they have lazy days quite often
but even when yoosung really wants to go somewhere, mc is so tired
and they feel bad cause it makes him sad, but they cant help it
so they tell him before it gets out of hand
he’s a little confused, so he starts observing
and they really do look tired all the time
it makes him a bit sad tbh
soooo he tries his best to keep them awake! and moving!!
doesn’t mind the yawning at all
defends them from anyone who calls them “lazy”
they work real hard when they work, so its fine to be lazy!!
somehow even coffee cant keep mc from being tired
and jaehee is kind of confused??
mc please dont yawn at a customer;;
they have to have a talk about it, but jaehee understands
she knows they aren’t lazy, they run a cafe together
mc doesnt run the cash register now thank
also because of this - jaehee gets to take naps
mc literally forces her to
at first, she kinda just lays there with them
but then she starts actually sleeping
for a power couple!
jumin han? take naps?
its more likely than you think
because mc makes him too
any one of his staff calls mc ‘lazy’ and they are Gone
but really, mc always helps behind the scenes
so what if they’re tired
does not really like when mc yawns in business meeting though
but they’re easily forgiven
jumin doesnt usually take naps
but mc claims they sleep better with his cuddles
so he lays down with them
and sometimes he drifts off too
these naps really help him ease stress
so he’s kind of grateful
707 / luciel / saeyoung
he’s always tired too, but he powers through
and so does mc
no one knows how they’re awake, please let them sleep
for more than 5 minutes, thank you
oh no the amount of PhD Pepper they consume
no one calls them lazy though because they know how hard they work
when they do fall asleep, its in weird positions
like, they’re sitting on top of each other at 7′s computer
or they’re tangled up on the couch
honestly who knows how they sleep comfortably
v / jihyun
thinks its pretty funny tbh
doesnt call mc lazy at all
but like, finds their yawn adorable
can’t carry them, but they’ll make it work
since v travels a lot, there’s a lot of opportunities for airplane naps!
mc lays on v’s shoulder and v just smiles and kisses their head
they’re so enthusiastic one second and the next they’re yawning lol
but v understands and doesn’t mind
it just means extra naps!
which also means cuddling and he is Down
this one doesn’t mind just laying in bed all day
and they barely go out so he doesn’t notice at first
until mc keeps yawning - even when they were just going to the kitchen for a snack
doesnt mind it at all
takes them by their hand and drags them around when they do go out
or just around the house tbh
they have more lazy days and naps than saeran expects
but he really likes cuddling with mc so its ok
they just,, are wrapped in blankets and saeran doesn’t mind playing with their hair
both of them end up falling asleep like this
too many times to count, actually
but they’re cute
oh, vanderwood noticed.
sometimes it was a bit annoying
“we got things to do, mc!”
but mc is,,so tired
vanderwood starts to think its a problem
so they sit down and discuss
mc tells them that they’re just,,,So Tired.
“is it, like? a sleep problem?” vandy asks
“no, nothing’s wrong with me, I’m just..low on energy.”
“all the time?” “yeah”
“is there anything that helps get you motivated??”
Have you seen the theories about the color of Evak's shirts in S3. They wear white when things are good but black when things aren't. Well in the last clip they were both still wearing white but Even had a black (what I thought looked like denim) jacket. Could this mean that things are about to be bad again for Even???
Hey lovely, I don’t really think I believe this theory
although this might have applied for season 3,
this is now Sana’s season
and I think the meaning behind black and white is different now.
during the first few episodes of season 4 Sana wore black, but with white underneath, or grey or orange or something…almost like a more balanced wardrobe and what everyone around her wore was pretty balanced to I believe
but then episode 5 happened
when we see Sana again in the first clip of episode 6 Sana is wearing head to toe black while everyone around her are dressed in white
and then when Sana is home, it’s the opposite,
majority is in dark colours while Yousef stands out in white.
So I feel like evak being in white isn’t an evak thing, it is a Sana POV thing
The girl has gone from trying to be in two worlds at the same time, to losing faih in being able to be a part of that world
so now she is segregating the two in her mind
it is like her own dichotomy happening in her head
she’s lost faith in the two worlds coinciding together so now all she can see is US vs. THEM
so because Yousef isn’t muslim, he is the one who stands out in Sana’s world
and because Sana is the only one muslim when she went to school, she was the one who stood out in that world.
She’s decided the worlds can’t mix after all so her POV right now can only see how they obviously don’t fit in anymore.
it’s so sad but it reflects how Sana feels right now
she is no longer standing in doorways and walking through different worlds….
she is staying inside hers and trying to keep them out of her world.
The reader and Ethan are at an all time low with their relationship, constantly fighting, their relationship going nowhere. The reader has constant flashbacks of their happier memories, which always ends in a new argument but this time she’s had enough.
Warnings: Suicide and Language
Word Count: 2,178
Ethan Dolan x Reader
A/N: THIS IS PART 2 OF ‘Why aren’t you dead yet?’ This imagine is kind of based off 1-800-273-8255 By Logic ft. Alessia Cara and Khalid
I’ve been on the low I been taking my time I feel like I’m out of my mind It feel like my life ain’t mine Who can relate?
I sobbed into my hands, my body shaking, and no one is here to help me. It’s been the worst five fucking months of my life. The worst decision I ever made was letting the love of my life just walk out of the door, I should’ve stopped him. I miss him so much, at the time I didn’t realize how much I needed him but now, it shines in my face brighter than ever.
I stood up, my body aching. I walked to the bathroom with my head hung low. I shut the door behind me, locking it. I looked at myself in the mirror; my cheeks hollow, bags under my eyes, my face paler than ever, my eyes dull. I opened a drawer, pulling out the one thing who has been my best friend. I sobbed out, sliding the cold razor against my skin, blood slowly oozing out. One after another, cuts were lined up on my arm, scars already forming and some getting reopened.
I dropped the razor in the decorated sink, my vision slowly going in and out.
“Ethan..”I whispered before falling into a deep sleep.
I pulled into the driveway I once called my home but now, it’s just another memory, a great one actually. I turned off the ignition, thinking twice about going in there. I had extra clothes here that I had to get but I just wish Grayson could’ve got them besides me. What can I say, I moved on.
I opened the car door, locking the door behind me. I walked up the stairs, knocking on the door - no answer. I scrunched my eyebrows, knocking once more but still getting no answer. I pushed one of her plants over, grabbing the key from the concrete. I unlocked the door, taking a deep breath in.
“Y/n?” I yelled out, shutting the door behind me but receiving no answer. “Weird.” I mumbled dropping my keys on the table.
I walked into the living room, not seeing her in there but the tv was on. I walked down the hallway, glancing over at the bathroom door, the light was glowing in the dark hallway. I knocked on the door, not hearing anything once again.
“Y/n?” I jiggled the doorknob, locked. “Dammit, y/n are you okay?”
Still no answer. I breathed out, taking a couple of steps out, throwing myself against the door.
There she was, blood covering the floor.
“No, no, no.” I yelled.
I grabbed a towel, wrapping her delicate wrist. I grabbed her phone off the counter, dialing 911.
“911, what’s your emergency?”
“M-My friend harmed herself and sh-she’s passed on the floor.” I applied pressure to her wrist, afraid I could break them.
“What’s your address sir?”
I quickly told the lady my address, hanging up on her afterwards.
My head shot up, looking over my shoulder to the hallway.
“Y/f/n we’re in the bathroom!” I looked back down at y/n, her body was different.
“Wha- Oh my god!” She dropped down beside me, covering her mouth with her hands. “What happened Ethan?!” She screamed.
“I-I don’t know! I came to g-get clothes and she was here.” I sobbed.
Y/f/n grabbed her wrist from me, dabbing the blood before wrapping a new towel around her wrist. I stood up, my fingers getting tangled in my hair. Tears were falling down my face. I can’t believe she was in this state of mind. She was so happy. I walked out the bathroom, opening the front door, waiting for the ambulance to arrive.
I slowly opened my eyes, getting blinded by the light pouring into my room. I rubbed my eyes, scrunching my nose at how heavy my arm was. I looked over and saw machines hooked up to me.
“What the?” I mumbled looking over seeing y/f/n sleeping in the chair beside me.
“Y/f/n.” I went to go shake her but pain shot up my arm making me wince.
Memories of the other night flooded my thoughts. Tears started falling down my face.
“Why me?” I cried.
The sound of the door opening made my head shoot up, my heart dropping. Ethan looked over at me, immediately looking back down. I felt embarrassed and stupid and just completely lost.
“Why’d you do it?” He croaked out.
“Do what?” Because of you.
“You know what I’m talking about, y/n.”
I looked up, his eyes were staring right at me. I just shook my head, I didn’t have the balls to tell him. How would he react if I told him that I’ve been suicidal ever since out breakup? He’d hate himself even more. He hasn’t even spoken to me the whole five months that we’ve separated. I thought maybe one of us would cave in but obviously not.
What’s the point of telling him? Why has everyone literally abandoned me and just randomly decided to show up? What’s the point? I need a sign or I might just give up. These past couple of months has made me realize how much I needed Ethan in my life, just being alive in general hurts too much. Why can’t God or someone give me a sign? Just one simple sign.
“Nice to see you’re finally awake.” I looked up and saw my doctor who smiled at me.
“I guess.” I whispered, my hands becoming more interesting.
“Now, we have a counselor coming to talk to you at three, is that okay with you?”
“I don’t need anyone to talk to.” I snapped.
“What?!” Ethan yelled, making me jump. “You almost fucking died, y/n! You fucking cut yourself so fucking deep! You obviously did it for a fucking reason! You need someone to talk to before you actually commit-”
“Sir, you need to leave.” The doctor grabbed Ethan by his shoulders, leading him out the door.
“Think about others before yourself y/n.” He snapped before the doctor closed the door.
I heard y/f/n yawn, making my heart slow down a little bit.
“Miss.y/l/n, you really need to take this counseling into consideration.”
He wrote down on his clipboard, telling me that the counselor would be here in a couple of hours. I rubbed my face, letting out a huge sigh.
I don’t wanna be alive I don’t wanna be alive I just wanna die And let me tell you why
“So, y/n, can you exactly tell me why you chose to harm yourself?”
This girl has been talking to me for over an hour, trying to get shit from me but I honestly don’t want to tell her anything, it’s none of her business.
“I just,” I breathed out, rubbing my temples, “this is so fucking stupid. Why do I have to talk to you? It’s complete bullshit.” I glared at her, earning a low sigh.
“You almost died from harming yourself. We have all the rights in the world to ask and you agreed to tell me so, the quicker you tell me the quicker i’m out of here.”
“It happened five months ago. My boyfriend of three years was abusing alcohol, verbally abusing me, assuming I was cheating, just being plain awful.”
“You’re just going out and being a fucking slut!” Every word that left his mouth was a complete slur.
“Ethan you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!” I screamed back.
“You’re friend fucking told me that you went to dinner with another guy while I was busy filming with Grayson, how fucking rude of you.”
“My friend’s don’t even talk to you!”
“Fuck you!” He threw the beer bottle at the wall behind me, barely missing my head.
I wiped the tears off my cheeks, the lady handing me a few tissues.
“He would always come to my apartment sober, saying that he missed me and that he was alone and after he got sex he would, he would get drunk and I-I would have to take care of him like nothing happened.”
“Do you think your relationship drove him into drinking?”
“I mean, I didn’t think I did anything to trigger that.”
“You’re so fucking annoying. Just leave me alone.” Ethan pushed me away, motioning me to leave the editing room.
“Fuck you.” I whispered, slamming the door behind me.
“Do you think there were other things that stressed him out?”
I nodded my head, wiping underneath my eyes.
“He’s famous. He always had something to do and when we had something planned for our relationship he would always be grumpy or he would simply forget about our plans and promise me that he would make them up but he never did.”
“Do you think the fame got to his head, maybe letting the stress come out onto you?”
“Has he physically abused you?”
“No, I don’t think he could even get his drunk self to abuse me.”
“So, what made you harm yourself?”
“Him. Because of him I loved to hard, because of him I finally saw myself happy. Because of him I realized that not everything can last. I learned that being happy doesn’t mean anything. Because of him I realized how beautiful I was. Because of him I truly realized how worthless I was. Because of him I learned that my self confidence wasn’t as high as I thought it was. Because of him I learned that loving someone more than yourself is a price you’ll have to take if you truly want them and I truly loved Ethan.”
I bit my lip, sobbing into my tissue.
“What made you think that harming yourself was the answer?” She whispered.
“I just wanted to die and I’ll tell you why. I felt that a piece of me was gone the day he walked out. He kissed me, but I couldn’t kiss back. At the time I thought it was the most beautiful decision I ever made because I was getting away from the alcohol. When I watched him walk out and not return until five months later where he so happened to find me passed out on the floor with blood surrounding me.”
I waited as she finished writing on her clipboard, my heart racing when she sat the board down on my bed.
“Sweetie, you are absolutely beautiful, but I want you to talk to him. You need to know what happened in your relationship that both drove you to a point where yo both didn’t care.”
“What if I’m scared to talk to him?” I whispered biting my fingernail.
“Don’t be scared. You have a nurse button by your bed, they’ll arrive and take him out if you get scared. I’ll bring him in.”
I just nodded my head, my eyes never leaving the white duvet that covered my body. I heard the door open, then slowly shutting.
“Hey..” I looked up, immediately looking back down. “You need to talk to me, y/n.”
“What is there to talk about? I harmed myself, I’m here, and you awkwardly found me passed out. There’s nothing else to talk about.”
I immediately regretted my decision on allowing him to come in here to talk. I wasn’t in the mood to argue at all.
“I still love you, y/n.”
My head shot up, locking eyes with the brown headed boy I used to love. My heart was beating so fast, my eyes beginning to water.
“No, no you don’t. You can’t stand there and tell me you love me when you didn’t even come back to talk about what happened. I needed you Ethan and you weren’t there.”
Ethan walked over to my bed, taking a seat down beside me, wrapping my fragile hands into his large ones.
“I know but i’m here now. You don’t understand how much it hurt me when I saw you lying there, lifeless, with blood surrounding your fragile body. How long have you been cutting?”
“Three months.” I whispered, a tear dropping down onto his hand.
They say every life precious but nobody care about mine
“You never came back Ethan! I sat there, wondering if I was ever going to get a text. I didn’t care if you were to busy to come see me, I just wanted a text knowing that you were sorry. I sat there, my thoughts taking over my head. I haven’t ate in so long because I couldn’t pull myself into eating, I just didn’t have the strength to get out of bed and eat. All I wanted was you there to run your fingers through my hair and tell me everything was going to be ok but you weren’t there. It’s like no one cared that I was slowly falling apart. Y/f/n came every so often but never stayed long enough to know that I was slowly giving up. Now, i’m in here, spilling my guts out to someone who could give two shits, i’m hooked up, have eyes on me 24/7, it’s fucking ridiculous. All because you didn’t care.”
Request: Can you do a Sweet Pea imagine wherein the reader is going through the final test of being a serpent, and SP had to throw in the punches? (Ends in smut pls)
A/N: I didn’t end it with smut cause it seemed weir to me as the reader would proabbly be very hurt after the beating process. I hope you don’t mind
It was the day of your last task, finally. You had been looking forward for this day for years, your parents were serpents and so were your siblings. You wanted to keep the family tradition going so when the time was right, you joined.
You had completed the first tasks with ease, you loved dogs and you’d known the serpent rules by heart since you were a little girl. The knife grabbing was a little scarier but you had done it and now it was time for the last task. You weren’t excited for it cause you knew what happened.
Your friends had prepared you for it already, Toni and Fangs had told you all about their initiations and had tried to scare you. You had laughed it off but it had kind off scared you. Sweet pea had assured you it wasn’t that bad and that the reward would be great, it had calmed you a little, becoming a serpent is all you’ve ever wanted anyway.
You were sitting in front of Sweet pea the afternoon of the last task, it would happen tonight and your boyfriend wanted to walk you through it one more time. ‘’Tall boy has assigned me to deliver the last punch’’ You looked at him in shock ‘’You’re going to deliver the worst punch?’’ He rubbed your back to comfort you ‘’I’m sorry babe but Tall boy ordered I can’t jsut say no’’ You understood, Sweet pea wanted to become leader of the serpents one day so he wanted to do everythnig right and obliged to every request.
‘’I just don’t like the idea of you punching me into my face’’ He pulled you into his chest ‘’Me neither baby but you’ll get your jacket afterwards and you’ll be officially a serpent, and i’ll promise to kiss it better’’ You chuckled and kissed him ‘’You have to it’s kind of your duty as boyfriend’’ He laughed. You were nervous but you knew it had to happen, you were loyal to the serpents and if you needed to shot it this way than you would.
It was the night time. You were surrounded by your serpent friends, neither of them wanted to hurt you but it was part of the initiation and everyone had to go through it. You took a deep breath and nodded, signaling that you were ready. Someone threw the first punch and it started, you were getting beaten left and right. And it hurt.
You hit the ground after a few punches. You coughed a few times, took another seep breath and rose again. You faced your boyfriend, he looked at you with sympathy, he hated seeing this and if he could he would’ve stayed home and patched you up after but being a serpent meant having to do things you didn’t like. He knew you were tough and would make it through easily but it made him upset to see you get hurt and him having to hurt you made his stomach turn. ‘’Do it, finish it’’ He closed his eye and swung. He hit you hard.
You fell to the ground, you were bruised and bleeding and you felt awful. It took a lot of strenght for you to stand up again but you did. Sweet pea looked at you proudly and you smiled at him through the pain. Toni stepped up from behind him holding a serpent jacket ‘’Welcome to the serpents babe’’ You thanked Toni for the jacket and put it on. It made you feel stronger already. You were filled with pride and happiness. You were finally a serpent. You made it!
Sweet pea took you back to his trailer and took care of you. ‘’I’m so sorry again babe, I never wanted to hurt you’’ you nodded understandingly ‘’I know sweets and it’s fine. You did what you had to do’’ He patched you up and grinned ‘’So where are you going to place your tattoo?’’ You hadn’t even thought of that yet, a new wave of excitement filling you. The famous serpent tattoo that your boyfriend had on his neck. ‘’Maybe my wrist or my ribcage’’ ‘’No matter where you get it, I’ll be kissing that snake a lot’’ You laughed and kissed him ‘’Ouch my lip’’ you had forgotten all about your injuries. He chuckled. You fell asleep in his arms that night, never taking of your proudly earned serpent jacket.