mindful poetry

imagine the dreams i could dream,
the thoughts and ideas i could create,
if my mind wasn’t stuck in a loop on you.
—  i cannot think of anything but your eyes || r.m. || 5.17.17

And today I decided I’m in charge
Of my body
Of my thoughts
Of my outfit
Of my soul
Of my shoes
Of my mood
Of my mind
Of my smile
Of my laughters
Of my anger
Of my temper
Of my future
Of my feelings
Of my life

22 May 2017

my fire breathing bones didn’t like the taste of your oceanic mouth on them, my withered spine didn’t like the touch of your velveteen fingers caressing it, every part in my body ached just from the sight of your cerulean eyes, but, the gentle whisper of my heart told me honey maybe this is how healing feels like.
—  wildocean11 
Poetry is a sort of inspired mathematics, which gives us equations, not for abstract figures, triangles, squares, and the like, but for the human emotions. If one has a mind which inclines to magic rather than science, one will prefer to speak of these equations as spells or incantations; it sounds more arcane, mysterious, recondite. 
—  Ezra Pound
But do you know what’s absolutely beautiful? Falling in love with the same person over and over again, because it shows that you’re never done with loving them, it shows that you are loving them every second of the day despite everything.
—  The Art of Falling in Love // r.k
Dear, first love.
I do not know how it happened. I couldn’t even tell you when it happened. All I know is that I was completely in love with you but suddenly, it was over and my love started dissipating for you. Please understand, it didn’t just leave. I went through hell and back, not knowing how to deal with the love that you left behind. I thought it was something I’d never be able to get over. I was so overwhelmingly in love with you that I just couldn’t believe that we had no future together anymore and that was hard to swallow because there was a time where I once saw you as my entire future. My mind went astray with the thought of you during cold nights, wishing we were sharing body heat for one last time. It felt as though I’d never be able to erase your name from my memory. But something happened. Like I said, I don’t know when or how, or possibly even why, I just know that it stopped hurting. Your name didn’t feel like a sharp knife embedded into my heart, it faded away like a dull blur that I had trouble remembering. I could drink dark coffee without thinking how your lips tainted that very same mug once before. I was able to pass by the places that hold memories of past us laughing away into the night, with mexican food in our mouth and love in our eyes, with a smile. There was no longer any sadness that used to drain my entire body with heaviness when my thoughts ran through these memories like wildfire. Just an acknowledgement that we were in each other’s lives at one point of time in this universe. I’m no longer sad about us anymore. Truth is, if we were meant to be, we would have been. It’s just a shame that we were lessons rather than the real thing because had we learnt our lessons before meeting each other, we could have been the real thing, you know? The big love that everyone talks about. All of the movies, songs and poems about love; we would have been the epitome of love itself. I truly believe that. But I am happy that we happened. Because I now know how it truly feels to love someone and to have it taken away from you. It’s given me the biggest lessons of my life. I now know when to admit when I’m wrong, how to support someone when they need you to, how to not hold back in love just because you’re scared of the outcome and most importantly, how to love someone without wanting anything in return. Just for the complete sake of loving them.
God, I’m scared. I’ve met someone new and I’m terrified of messing it up. But this time around, I’m not holding back. I have a heart full of love and this time, I’m going to do it right. So thank you for being a part of my life. Thank you for the lessons and thank you for teaching me how to love somebody properly. Goodbye, first love. Hello, my last love (hopefully).

You were meant to be here. The universe worked for billions of years to create you. Whole stars lived and died for you to exist. They sacrificed themselves so that you could rise from their ashes. Their dust is in your bones, their light in your thoughts. You see beauty where they could only shine. You feel warmth where they could only burn. What a miracle you are, you living, breathing thing. You have a place in this universe. You were meant to see, to feel, to know, to love. You were meant to be here.