To who ever is reading this; you’re lovely. Absolutely lovely. A perfect creation. You have so much potential and can achieve so much. Really, you are. So live your life the way it feel right, dream big dreams, and live passionately.
1) I am pretty much always am in the mood for asks, a good 98% in the mood for asks, so send them whenever you want, chances are I’ll answer alL OF IT
2) It can legit be about anything, it could be off topic, relative to something happened that day or EARLIER (might need a reminder), or it could be some silly outlandish question, like “If you had to fight off Sahtan with a bagel, would the bagel have cream cheese, or would it be a bagel sandwich”,(cream cheese, everyone knows sahtan hates that stuff) it could be a meme, or something simple, literally ANYTHING! I WILL ALWAYS HAVE AN ANSWER TO IT.
Ok, that’s pretty much it, have a nice day everyone :)
If you had disciplined him, he would resent you for it, but towards me, I don’t believe he feels resentment […] I once thought that to lead men in this world, to be liked was just as good as feared, and that may very well be true. But to be both liked and feared all at once is an entirely different state of being in which, I believe, at this moment, I exist alone.
It is natural for men new to power to assume that it has no limits. Trust me. It does.
Soryu: It’s been a week of not seeing you. He couldn’t take it anymore. It was grinding down on his sanity in a unhealthy, irritating, worrisome fashion, and he needed to talk to you. He couldn’t bear the possibility of losing you like this. And so Soryu bit the bullet and asked Eisuke to keep you after work, crawling his apologetic ass to meet you. “____________.” “What is it?” You look away from him, not wanting him to see exactly how much you had missed him, and how you regretted storming out on him. Soryu honestly wouldn’t have noticed anyway. His head bowed slightly, his feet shuffling, his hands fidgeting with the edge of his suit jacket, your boyfriend looked nothing like a mobster. More like a complete dork nervously and guiltily waiting your punishment. “I… I came to…. to say that um… Come home to me.” He said quickly, as if the words themselves were a sort of embarrassing thing to slide from his tongue. “Why?” You tip your head. “You told me to leave.” “I didn’t!” He jolts up worriedly at your tone and you see frantic anxiety in his eyes. You force back your melting heart and tender amusement. “Just… Come home, alright?” He ran a hand through his hair. You remarked that his dark locks weren’t slicked back today. Today, he was just your boyfriend, not the mob boss. You liked that. “Why?” You ask again, quietly, stuffing your stuff into your purse and picking it up. Soryu assumes you were about to leave, and quickly goes over to you, grabbing your arms and clutching you against his chest. “No, don’t go.” He muttered against your hair. He frowns at his own words and quickly adds: “I’m not done with you yet.” “What are you even trying to say?” You look up at him with a pout. “I’m not done being mad at you either.” “I’m sorry, okay?” He winces at the awkwardness of his words. Whatever it took to keep you with him. “I… I wasn’t being very considerate. I know you’re worried about me. I just… It’s better for you if you still keep your distance. It’s safer.” “Soryu.” You sigh and pull away from him. You see alarm flash in his gaze as his hands grab yours and tighten, scared you were going to leave. “I’m always going to be worried about you… It’s how I am… I’m sorry if I was being too irrational.” “You weren’t.” He said quietly. “I need to see things from your point of view, I guess. I’m not too used to having a woman around like this.” He tugged on your hands, almost shyly, and pulled you into his arms again. “I don’t like seeing you so worried. Trust me, I’ll be okay. Minor injuries are just a part of being in this business.” Your arms wrap around his waist and you feel his muscles relax in relief. Your heart warms. “I know you just want to protect me. But Soryu, I don’t mind. Let me in on your life. Let me worry about you.” You press your cheek against his broad shoulders. “It’s what a relationship is about, sharing each other’s burdens.” He stroked your hair, a rhythmic pattern that soothed all the sadness from the past week. Soryu smiled faintly and kissed your temple. “I’m not very good at expression.” He kissed you again. “I can try, okay? I promise I won’t be so blunt. I’ll do my best.” He held you at arms’ length and gazed down into your eyes. “You know I love you, right?” Your cheeks blushed a little and you turned your head away. His hand caught your chin and tipped your face back up to him. “Right.” You said a tiny voice, frozen under the intensity of his affectionate eyes, the same eyes that inspire fear in all other faces. The eyes narrowed into a dear smile and Soryu kisses you, wrapping you into his arms. “Come on. We’re going home.”
Ota: He glared at his canvas. Your eyes smiled back at him sweetly, your face illustrated in soft colours, your hair tumbling in that soft flow down your back. Ugh. He threw his brush down and turned away. All he could paint in the past two weeks was you. You, you and you again. A few pictures of you crying, you shouting at him, images that haunted his mind since the argument. Most of them, however, were pictures of you gazing at him with that starry love, glowing under some sort of light, dazzling down to the last stroke of his brush. Goddamn he missed you. His phone rang. Hah. See, Koro came right back.” Ota scrambled over his bed and snatched it up. “Koro, I-“ “Ota.” It was Baba. “You might want to come over. It’s ______________.” * “Who did this? The hell was she thinking?” Ota sat down, with a barrage of questions, on the edge of Baba’s bed, looking down at your unconscious form. His friend shrugged. “Good thing I happened to be at the bar. She’s been sleeping it off for the past twelve hours. It was a strong one.” “Thanks.” He said without taking his eyes off you. “Why didn’t you call me earlier?” “How would I know if you were up at that ungodly hour of night?” Baba shrugged carelessly and sauntered out of the room. “I’m going to take a shower and a nap. If you don’t mind, please control yourself until you get off my bed.” He winked and closed the door behind him. “I’m not a perverse freak.” Ota muttered as he reached out and touched your face lightly. He sighed. “What the hell were you thinking, Koro, going to places where people are going to touch you and try to-“ His sentence faltered when he saw you start to stir. “________________!” “Ow…” You whine as you put your hand to your head. “Ugh…” Your world starts coming into focus. “Where…. OTA?!” “Yeah, that’s the name.” He scowled. “Got a headache? Serves you right.” Despite the harsh words, he took the glass Baba had left at the side of the table and offered you water. You didn’t take it, watching him in shock. “Come on, drink up. Dammit.” Ota nudged the glass against your hand. “God, don’t look at me as if I took advantage of you. Drink the damn water, Koro. It’ll help your headache.” “What happened?” Your fingers tighten around the glass nervously, tears coming to your eyes. “Some stupid girl got drugged at a bar cause she was too stupid to stay at home with her boyfriend.” “I… oh.” “Hurry up and drink, gosh, do I have to feed you, Koro?” Ota urged. You obeyed silently, trying to blink back the tears. “Why are you crying now?” He moved himself onto the bed, pulling you into his arms. “Don’t cry, you’re safe now. I’m here.” “I just… I just wanted to show you that I’m not any less appealing than… than those girls…” You whimper against his chest. “I just wanted to make you jealous… I didn’t… I-“ “I know, I can tell.” Ota held you tight against him. It felt wonderful to hold you again, and something in his heart softened. “Silly Koro trying too hard.” “I’m sorry…” You say softly. “For not trusting you… and for this.” “You better be.” Ota said, amusement creeping back into his voice. “Alright, alright, enough with the crying.” He wiped away your tears with his hands. “I know you’re appealing to men. Of course I know. At the same time, I know you can’t bear to be away from me.” He strokes your cheek with the back of his fingers. “You’re my Koro, my muse, my girlfriend. Trust me, I can’t bear to be away from you either.” “Ota…” You heart thudding, you surrender to his arms again, letting the argument melt into the past. He kissed the top of your head. “You’re coming home with me, Koro.”
Baba: He retreated to the couch again, turning on the TV with a sigh. Maybe if he waited it out, it would be alright. But even through the sounds of the trashy program he had been staring blankly at, he could hear the sniffling in the bedroom. He got up and went over, deciding to open the door. He was smacked in the face with a pillow, his hat flying. Baba said nothing and picked up the pillow. You were curled up in the bed away from him, shoulders shaking with small cries. “________________.” You felt the bed dip as he sits down beside you, and you try your best to ignore him. His hand comes to rest on your arm. “My sweet, talk to me.” “…” Baba was at a rare loss for words. “I… um…” You kept sobbing. “I think I know what you’re upset about.” “Do you?” Your voice was a tiny squeak. “I’m sorry that I pulled a stunt like that.” He stroked your hair away from your face. “I know you’re really worried about me. It’s only natural. Normal people aren’t used to my way of life.” You sniffed hard. “I’m really sorry.” He leaned down and put his head on your arm. “I won’t ever do something like that again, okay? I’ll get Ota to do it.” A tiny giggle hiccuped through your tears. Baba smiled and straightened. “I’m just… I’m really scared, Baba…” You look up at him. “What if you… I don’t know what I would do…” “I would never let anything happen to myself.” He takes your hands and pulls you into a sitting position. His thumbs brush aside your tears and he tucks a lock of your hair behind your ear. “Look at this beautiful, sweet woman. Look at how much I have to protect. I couldn’t possibly be so irresponsible and get myself arrested.” “Baba…” He smiled lovingly and smoothed your hair from its ruffled state. “Trust me, I’m always careful. Especially now that I have you.” You nod slowly. “And can you… next time… just give me a heads up?” “But wasn’t that part of the fun?” Baba asked, tipping his head. “Your reactions are so adorable, my lady.” “My heart failure wouldn’t be adorable.” You complain softly, a slight blush overtaking your cheeks. “Oh dear, well then.” Baba cupped your face with his large, warm hands. “I’ll let you in on my plans every time from now on, how’s that? My beloved’s heart much more settled?” You blush deeper and nod. “I plan to kiss you now.” He chuckles and leans in. You close your eyes and allow his lips to capture yours.
Mamoru: “Where are my clean underwear, kid?” He called for you. No response. Right. You were ignoring him. “FUCK!” The silent war has been going on for almost a week. At first, Mamoru really thought nothing of it. He could order room service or go out to a restaurant for bento. That was no big problem. But ugh, he didn’t know where the hell his underwear was kept or how the laundry machine functioned or where the iron was stored. In your anger, you had refused to clean anything of his. Pulling open the closet, your clothes were organized in their usual orderly fashion, and his was a mountain of a mess. There were soft footsteps behind him and he turned to see you. “Finally remembered me?” You huff, your arms crossed. “Where are they?” Mamoru sighed in defeat. “Where you left them.” “That doesn’t help!” He threw his hands in the air. “Come on, help me out here, kid!” You shrugged. “You said you could get on with life just fine on your own.” “Come on, don’t be like this, please.” “I actually don’t know…” You roll your eyes. “You said to not bother, so I didn’t bother paying attention this past week.” “Shit.” You shrugged cooly again and tried to leave the bedroom. Mamoru grabbed your arm. “________________.” “Ow, what do you want? I said I don’t know!” “Sorry, kid.” He avoided your eyes, sounding guilty and embarrassed at his own apology. “I didn’t notice… I didn’t realize how nice it was to have everything sorted out for me.” “Say that again?” You raise an eyebrow. “Look at me and say that again, Mamoru.” He cleared his throat awkwardly. “I’d rather not?” You yank your arm from his grasp and he grabs back on instantly. “Okay okay okay!” He exclaimed. Ruffling his hair with his other hand, he blushed a little. Mamoru finally brought his eyes to look at you. “I didn’t appreciate your hard work enough. I… I started to realize this past week when my ashtrays were overflowing and my clothes were all misplaced and things were just… I’m sorry. You had a point… My life is a mess, and you make it so much nicer for me when you sort things out.” His head bowed sadly. “I… I was a little rude about it too.” You admitted quietly. “No no, you were fine.” Mamoru’s gaze snapped back up. “You’re already so patient with me. I… I don’t like having you work so hard though. Some things you can just leave be. My woman should be taken care of, not to work her ass off.” “It’s nice doing things for you.” You say after a long pause. He crushes you against his chest and you muffle your face into the smoke tinged jacket. “Mmmf! Smoke, Mamo!” “Sorry, sweetheart.” He stroked your cheek as you pulled away. “I’m going to quit, don’t worry. Now that this is all sorted out, please stop ignoring me.” He drew your face closer and kissed you. “Ugh, I missed you.” “Since you sound so sincere in your apology, okay.” You smile up at him. “And um… sweetheart… can you help me find clean um…”
Eisuke: “_________________!” He shouted as he spotted your figure in the half empty evening streets. “_________________, come back here!” He raced after you. Hell, this was so embarrassing. Him, Eisuke, running after this little shrimp of a woman who was too dumb to charge her phone? But it was inevitable. “_________________.” He caught up and grabbed your arm. You struggled and tried to pull away. “Let go of me, Eisuke!” “Where are you going?” “Let go!” You wrench your arm away from him and rub the sore spot where he grabbed you. “Where do you think you’re going?” “Away from you… you… you control freak!” You glare up at him angrily, tears flashing in your eyes. “What are you talking about?!” He said in frustration. “What, what are you going to do, put me in a collar and leash? Drag me back like a dog? I’m not your little play thing? Let me breathe!” You scream. “You’re making quite a scene.” You bite down on your lip in self awareness and a choked sob rises through your throat. “_________________, don’t be like this.” Eisuke tried to reach for you and you shrink away. “Don’t touch me…” “I didn’t mean to be like Ota at a pet shop, okay?” He grumbled. “I’m worried about you, _______________.” You were stunned for a moment and you look up at him in surprise. “Worried?” “Do you remember what happened to Soryu’s girlfriend two months back? God forbid that shit happen to my woman.” Eisuke ran a hand through his hair, trying to pull his thoughts back together. “The only thing I can do is keep calling you to tell myself you’re alive and well.” “…” “Don’t you know I worry about you?” The dark brown eyes blazed down at you and you stand, transfixed, looking back up at him. “I…” “I’m not trying to be mean to you…” Eisuke said, his voice softening. “I want to always know you’re safe.” “It’s too much.” You say quietly. “Too much control.” “You could have said something.” “I tried! But you’re always so mean!” You almost start back up in tears and Eisuke’s hand wipes away the drop in the corner of your eyes. “Eisuke… you can’t control all of me…” There was a long silence. Your mind goes wild. Maybe you were taking it too far. He seemed angry. Would he yell at you? “I’m sorry.” “…” “________________, I didn’t mean to be so… so controlling, as you put it. I want you to be safe.” He looked away for a moment, and turned back to you. “If you really want, I can… try… to lay off a little.” “I would appreciate it.” You say softly, your heart lightened at the way he was willing to try and make you more comfortable. “Thank you, Eisuke.” He looked down at you with a bit more of his usual arrogance. “I guess when you grab on too tightly, they try to run from you, huh?” “Why would you grab so tight anyway?” He scoops you up, cradling you in his arms. “So you know that I love you.” You blush furiously. “Eisuke!” “What? You better have paid attention, cause I don’t plan on saying it again anytime soon.” You pout. “Eisuke…” His smirk turns serious. “Fine, since I was being too mean to you.” He pressed his forehead against yours. “_______________, I love you. I’m sorry for being so controlling. I’ll work on it.”
inside a room inside a heart
inside a castle of ribs
there waits a sadness,
vast like blue-black night.
you know it
like the back of your hand–no,
better. your hand, at least,
is only as old as you are.
inside a bed inside a house
inside a forest of homes,
there waits a girl. if you squint,
she looks just like you.
i am on my knees,
she says. i have nowhere
to hide. i just want to be
forgiven. she points at the sky.
and the sky points back,
grows cold and deaf,
shakes in its seat
far above her head,
and says no.
inside a neighborhood inside a city
inside a far haunted country,
there waits a lake. you’ve sailed it
before, in this life, in another,
in every single one of them.
you’re looking for a light on the shore
but all you see is gray. all you hear
is voices, every one but yours. they all
say something different and
they’re all blind in this dark,
but as the hours wear on
all the whispers start to sound like help.
inside a room inside a heart
inside a castle of ribs,
there waits a sadness,
vast as blue-black night.
you face it like you’d face
a mirror. you journey into it,
deeper. you don’t know
if you’ll ever return.
(you’re not even sure
if you want to.)
this shadow remembers you,
lives in you, threatens
to swallow you whole.
there are no absolutes
but the sound of your steps
and your fading breaths.
along the way
you light a candle,
fingers quaking, and
the little flame burns till morning.
you make a pillow of the ashes.
inside: a series of sketches | marginalia  | c.i.
No one’s born homophobic. It’s not some preconditioned symptom written in your DNA. It’s up to you to decide whether to be accepting or not. You may have been raised in a homophobic community but chose to be accepting or vise versa. It’s up to each individual to decide how to live their life. So, please do not tell me who I can and cannot love because I know you sure as hell wouldn’t want someone else to tell you can’t love a certain person because they don’t approve. Love should only concern the people involved in the relationship, whether it’s familial, platonic, or romantic. All I’m asking is for you to find it in yourself to love fearlessly, no matter your sexuality, and please keep your comments about other people’s relationships to yourself so that they can also be able to love fearlessly.
Sometimes my thoughts are trapped in my head and I just need to write them down
The following few months were nothing but lessons, attending court and banquets. It was exhausting, and all the time you were trying to spend as much time as possible with Loki, but were also forced to spend more tined with Thor.
Since the day Thor apologised to you, he never brought up the topic of your brothers again. He did however begin to show some interest in talking to you on different matters other than simply about himself, though it was clear he was not used to it.
With Loki however, things had only improved more. You felt as though you knew most everything about one another. Since his admission, he had told you daily of his love for you. You had not waited very long to say it back, it only took until he stopped kissing you, just for him to start again as soon as the words left your lips. Every time he kissed you, you felt your heart flutter. It was as though he was trying to pour his soul into every kiss, you did what you could try and do the same.