mind you this is a kids game

anonymous asked:

You don't need to answer if you don't want to but what caused you to change from being a dumb conservative kid?

Sorry for this turning into such a political saturday, people. This is a way more complicated question than I think you suspect, Anon. I could probably write an essay about it, but I’ll try to keep this brief. This is in no way magic-related (except that I picked the game back up again around 2008 while my mind was changing).

My immediate family are all republicans. I went to catholic school for four years (although I had stopped being a believer at a young age). I was a volunteer firefighter from when I was 16-years-old, and I was a Law Enforcement explorer before that (both of which lean conservative). So, before College a lot of my role models and almost everything I heard about politics and morality was through that lens. Plus, I didn’t know the difference between arrogance and confidence yet, and I was a little asshole because of it.

There’s really no one factor that changed my mind, it was a lot of things over maybe five or six years from my late teens to my early 20′s. I had a really diverse group of friends growing up, so when things in conservative circles started shifting anti-muslim after 2001 I wasn’t having any of it. Working Private EMS in Inner City Baltimore at the same time as I took a politics of poverty course really illustrated how overly simplistic a lot of my views were (even this is oversimplifying it). I’m still ashamed of myself when a friend from high school transitioned and I wasn’t immediately supportive of her. My wife was probably the biggest influence, because we argued politics all the time throughout college.

More than anything though, it was my own education and the political shifts to ‘grassroots’ (theocratic hypocritical) conservatism that exposed the glaring flaws in the republican party for me. I had been raised to believe the party represented something that it was clear they were not. I didn’t want this to be long, but even this explanation is incredibly short and simplistic.

Harass my daughter on Minecraft? You can't hide from me.

So, my daughter, who was about 8 at the time, was REALLY into Minecraft (as most kids are these days). Also desperately wanting to join the Youtube/Let’s Play culture, I had installed some screen recording software that would let her make videos of the games she was playing so she could later upload them to Youtube.

Anyways, one day I’m minding my own business when I hear her quietly sniffling over on the computer. I asked her what was wrong, but she didn’t want to tell me so I let it go, but decided to keep on eye on her. A few minutes later I discovered what was happening; someone was harassing not only her, but also all the other kids playing on whatever server she was on. This kid (we’ll call him Little Sh*thead, or LS) was saying sh*t about how he was going to rape my 8 year old daughter (she told him how old she was hoping he would stop), how he was going to hack into her IP and steal all her info, swearing profusely (remember, this is a game for kids), etc etc. By this time I had gotten my fiance involved, and she was also obviously quite upset at what a little sh*t this kid was being. We realized that our daughter had been recording the entire incident, and a plan began to form.

I started by googling LS’s username. There were several hits immediately, the most interesting of which involved a page where he was publicly applying to be a mod for a server on Minecraft. I was able to learn a lot about this little POS: he claimed to be 15, likes hockey, used to live in Toronto but now lives in Florida. But the bombshell was easily his skype contact info; it was literally firstname.lastname. I know your name now, you little sh*t.

So I head over to Facebook and search for the name. Nothing. Hmmmm. On a hunch I searched for just the last name, while narrowing my results to only the state of Florida. Several dozen hits. Hmmm. So I have to start combing through each one, until I find what I was looking for: a middle aged man with the same last name, whose profile indicates he was born in Toronto and now lives in Florida. I FOUND YOUR DAD, YOU LITTLE SH*T.

So I sent him a message on Facebook, asking if he had a son named firstname who goes by his username on Minecraft. Dad confirmed I had the right guy. So my wife begins telling the dad everything that LS was saying to my daughter, and we sent him the recorded video as proof. Radio silence for a few days.

Then we got the message back: LS had his computer taken away from him for the entire summer, and had also been lying about his age (he was only 11, I think). His parents were f*cking livid with him, and he surely hated the next few months of his life.

No one f*cks with my daughter.

Whenever I visit a stranger’s house, I like to play a game where I try to find out everything I can about that person without asking. Most people call this “snooping”. My dad calls it “I should not have read you so many teen detective books when you were a kid”.

My friends are house sitting for a rich couple for a few days and are throwing a party at their log cabin. I’m Garden Girl’s designated driver, so I’ve been amusing myself by exploring. No one minds, so long as I’m not too overt about it. They have young children - at least three, judging by the shoe sizes. Two boys, at least one girl - the eldest is about 9, the youngest about 3. Another child - a son - was stillborn (4 years ago?) and they are still grieving over him. One of the parents, probably the mother, has hypothyroidism and believes in aromatherapy and homeopathy. The father golfs occasionally, both kayak, one bikes. They primarily read books on child rearing and bestseller novels. They are not overtly religious but are likely culturally Christian and dabble in some New Age spirituality. The mother plays piano, and the parents encourage visual art in their children but have no talent of their own. They’re white. The mother has long red hair. They entertain a lot of guests and keep chickens. The boys play violin.

Alright, so, I’ll start this off by saying I am honestly not an expert on Kakyoin, contrary to popular belief (I’d actually consider myself more of an expert on Jotaro’s character, if anything), but I’m going to do my best to give my views on Kakyoin’s character, as well as some canon evidence to support it, and hopefully it will help a bit.

If you want a great reference of how to write Kakyoin in fic, go read Sand, sand and more sand on AO3, because it’s honestly one of the best depictions of Kak I’ve ever read, and he’s quite close to canon.

*ahem*

Kakyoin is pretty snarky. He’s subtle about it, but he’s also kind of a shithead. He’s polite most of the time, but it seems to be more of a setting he defaults to when he doesn’t feel entirely comfortable around the people he’s with. We have quite a few quips from him as examples of this, such as him laughing at andd mocking Anne during the dark blue moon arc, and saying she couldn’t possibly be the stand user on board, and in the Geb and N'Doul fight where he orders Polnareff to attack the canteen because he “doesn’t want to”. He also at one point responds to Polnareff saying “this looks bad!” with, “well it most certainly isn’t good.”

He’s blunt, but this also means that he’s honest. He dislikes liars, and prefers that everything is set out before him clearly and plainly as opposed to someone that is clearly dancing around the subject.

He also seems like quite the know-it-all, and likes being right; and he’s probably the type to argue with someone even if he knows he’s wrong. He seems to genuinely enjoy teaching the crusaders about the culture of all the places they visit on their journey, and he has the ability to retain all of that information to recant to them, as well. It seems to be somewhat of an interest of his.

And then there’s this, of course…

The cherry thing is something that kind of bothers me in fandom and fic. Yes; Kakyoin says that cherries are his favourite fruit. Child Kakyoin has cherries on his shirt (keep in mind that the scene with child kakyoin is added in my DavidPro and is not technically canon). BUT, it doesn’t mean that he has to have everything cherry-related. It’s a seriously overused trait in fandom to the point that it just becomes annoying. Kak can have a coffee without it having to be cherry flavoured. Just remember that he canonically enjoys lots of different foods, and that he doesn’t need to exclusively eat cherries and cherry flavoured things. He probably likes to eat foods from all different cultures.

Video games: There is evidence to suggest that Kakyoin spends a LOT of time playing F-Mega, however, this doesn’t mean that his extreme knowledge of the tracks and mechanics applies to every video game in existence. He’s a teenager, with no friends in the 80’s, of course he’s going to spend time playing video games. But back in the 80s, people often only had one or two games, so it’s likely that he has simply replayed F-Mega a LOT, to the point of knowing it by heart. I know the levels of Mario 3 extremely well, simply because I played them over and over again as a kid. If you are fixated on a single game for extended periods of time (especially if it’s the only game you own), you are of course going to know the game well. Knowing a lot about a single game does not mean that he’s obsessed with video games, and does not necessarily mean that he’s a shut-in, and never goes outside.

Also keep in mind that he says that he’s “pretty good at video games”. He doesn’t claim to be great at them, and since we’ve already established that Kakyoin is quite blunt, it would be out of character to assume that he’s being humble here. He literally means that he’s just “pretty good” at them. No more, no less.

His real-world experience is vast, and it’s also mentioned that his parents take him many places on vacation. He’s been to a lot of places, and retains cultural knowledge. It’s not as if he’s read it in books: he’s actually been to these places before, and he mentions it frequently. This suggests that he gets out quite a bit, and also kind of suggests that maybe he isn’t quite the model student type in school.

Kakyoin doesn’t appear to be the honours student & straight A’s type. He doesn’t think twice about skipping out on his new school to travel to Egypt, and as I said before, his knowledge appears to come more from first-hand experience rather than school studies (and I bet he missed more than a few of his classes due to the trips that he and his parents took). He’s a know-it-all, but it doesn’t mean that he does well in school.

On the other hand, Jotaro IS a model student, despite his delinquent status. It’s more likely that Jotaro would be the one helping Kakyoin with his homework.
(He might disrespect his teachers, but he still gets good grades, and let’s not forget that he becomes a marine biologist later in life.)

Kakyoin’s profile also mentions that he “appears very effeminite”. This is another thing that is often misinterpreted. His appearence may be somewhat feminine, and he takes pride in how he looks, but his personality and mannerisms are not inherently feminine.

He hates being forced into submission, and this is the reason why he despises Dio so much. Dio took advantage of his vulnerability and the fact that Kak didn’t have any friends to use him as his pawn. He drew Kak in, made him feel wanted, needed, and then took control of his mind and body.

“He appears to be very effeminate. In reality, he despises submitting to people or sucking up to them.” - Taken directly from his canon personality description.

Another thing that people seem to miss is the fact that he’s extremely sadistic. He says himself that Heirophant “loves nothing more than to rip things to shreds” and that it might “drive him mad with joy”. He likes being in control of the situation, remember. He probably hates losing fights, as well (especially since he could be considered a weakling for losing).

Kakyoin also seems to like Baseball, judging by his profile naming a favourite team, and sumo, as we all know from his exchange with Jotaro.

One of the things that fandom does definitely get right, is Kakyoin being the mother hen of the group. He’s taken on the role of the responsible one, because Joseph is… far from being an adult. He’s strategic and thinks everything out logically, and so is the mature one of the group, especially after Avdol’s “death”. He appears to be content to follow Joseph, but when it’s needed, he steps up and becomes the leader in his place. This is seen when Jotaro, Joseph and Polnareff start physically fighting random men that they suspect are the one in the Wheel of Fortune car, to which he says that, “this is not a good idea,” and that it’s, “getting out of hand”. It’s also seen in the tower of grey fight where he mentions that it’s better that he fights on the plane, because he’s the least destructive of the bunch (even though he’s capable of blasting holes into clock towers, apparently his emerald splash isn’t destructive; okay Kak…).

He’s also fiercely protective of his friends, and extremely loyal as well. Kakyoin isn’t the type to abandon his friends in any circumstance.

He’s a CASANOVA. While Jotaro draws more unwanted attention from girls due to his bad boy façade, Kakyoin is slick and smooth with them, so much so that they notice him more over Jotaro. He’s quick to diffuse the situation when Jotaro pushes the girls aside (again, in the tower of grey arc), and it’s just… yes.

Just look at this. You can bet your ass he’s not the type to blush and stutter as he’s confessing. Straight up grabbing the girl and apologizing for Jotaro. Smooth as butter.


Here are some other scenes that might be able to explain his character a bit better as well:

Mouthing off to Joseph- Jotaro approves.

This line is wonderful. (Again, to Joseph? It’s almost like they have this kind of rivalry going on, haha)

Some really good insight to his character and motivations (And one of my favourite Jotakak moments).

The anime kind of makes this out to be a sort of “Kakyoin mocking Polnareff” scene, but in the manga he seems like he’s just stating what he heard. Pretty matter-of-fact about the whole situation.

Unimpressed.

I believe that this is the first moment that Kakyoin really realizes that he and any of his companions can die at any moment. Avdol has been shot, and he’s in complete shock. This is a normal teenager that’s now painfully aware of the danger he’s putting himself in to help out Jotaro and Joseph. Sure, he realized that he would be involved in fights, and a little blood would be shed for the greater good, but I don’t think he had realized up to this point that he might actually die.

And here’s Kakyoin’s character bio.

It’s also notable that he didn’t tell his parents where he was going prior to leaving. This doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s in bad standing with his parents (especially since his dying thoughts were of them), and could possibly be because he didn’t want to worry them, or something of the sort, but the fact remains that he didn’t tell them beforehand. Take from this what you will.

So yeah, this is what I get from Kakyoin. He’s kind, loyal to a fault, and deeply in love with Jotaro– and he’s a pretty complex character to write. Don’t feel like you need to take all of this into account, because it’s hard to keep his entire character intact with fanfiction. A lot of his personality comes across in facial expressions, so it’s sometimes difficult to translate that into non-visual media. Just refer back to canon if you aren’t sure of something, and you should be fine. Good luck!

How to make a functional school without mod (V2.0.)

A few months ago I’ve made an article about how to have a functional school without mod. I’ll do it again with more indications and tips from my gameplay experience. While you’re reading this, keep in mind the game has an usual limitation of 20 sims per community lot for performance purpose. If you want more students in your school, you’ll need mods. As a cc-free player, I don’t use these so I’ll just show you my way.

First of all, you’ll need to create groups of pupils with an age restriction (>> for kids only). The best option is to create up to 4 groups with 6 kids in each. I encourage you to pick group leaders from different households. If you don’t, you decrease your chance to have groups showing up while you’re playing… Except if all the leaders are in the household you want to play with. But when kids turn into teens, the leadership goes most likely to a younger relative (siblings, cousins…), so please don’t forget that.

The reason why you better chose leaders from different households is because the game system works on rotation : not the same households are “active” during your game. Also, do not put all the siblings in the same group if you’re not controling it. There’s high chance none of them show up to make room for others. So if you have triplets, place them in 2 or 3 differents groups ! Same for twins or cousins who live at the same place :)

When you’ve chose the leaders, add 5 kids in their group. You must pick for them a favorite location : chose the school you’ve downloaded.

Now, time to assign them tasks. Pick wisely: you only have 5 options. Know that the order you put them is important ! First task is the one they’ll do automatically ; Second task is the one they’ll most likely do ; Third task is the one they’ll do during breaks ; Fourth task is the one they’ll do if there’s too much other sims somewhere ; Fifth task is what they’ll do if they do not have other choices. And last but not least, the group will behave the way the community lot is set up if they don’t have any options left.

For example, if in your school there’s no jungle gym and your first task is to play with playground equipements, the kids group will try to play with toys (if it’s your task number 2). If there’s no toys left, they’ll try to chose option 3, and then option 4 etc. The group system works like a staircases.

Because you’ve made 4 groups and there’s 4 aspirations for kids (now), chose tasks according to this. Make a “creativity” group, a “social” group, a “motor” group and a “mental” group. In my game, all the groups have something in common (task 2 : do their homework). And the other tasks are “custom” for each. This way, kids won’t go in the same room instantly but walk around and do different stuff.

Task suggestions :

  • Mental group : 1. Play with computer. 2. Do homework. 3….
  • Social group : 1. Be nice to… 2. Do homework. 3…
  • Creativity group : 1. Paint. 2. Do homework. 3….
  • Motor group : 1. Play with playground equipements. 2. Do homework….

Because my school is set as a library, all the groups can possibly chose to read and browse the web. The option 5 can be a task opposite to their trait, for example the creativity group can play basketball. There’s multiple way to do it so go with your flow !

You can also set up group for teachers (up to 3, max). Assign them the school as their favorite location and tasks. If you have City Living EP, chose “make speech” as an option. A few kids will actuall listen to them ;)

If you want to go extra, you can also make a cook group (up to 2, max), assigned them uniforms, the school as favorite location and task (cook / clean). Chose sims with low cooking skill so they can do basic reciepes and not gourmet meals. ;) Same for a janitor (you can make a group of only 1 sims !). 

With all that, everytime you load your game you’ve really high chances to meet pupils, teachers and cooks, janitor. Since I’ve create this system I always have people in my school and everything works smooth ! Keep in mind that random townies can still show up in your school (because it’s a library, you know…) but they’ll leave if more groups come, to make room for them. 

Notes :

  • A kid can be in multiple groups (ex. motor + creativity). You won’t get any negative effects. His/her chance to actually show up is only higher than others kids.
  • If the cook team don’t show up and you still want your sims to eat for a possible lunch break : click on the hoven’s kitchen and call for a caterer. He or she will usually make up to 3 or 4 differents group meals. Put each plates on different lunch tables and call to meal. All the groups should pick a plate, sit and chat to each others. The only “bad” effect with the caterer option, is that they’ll most likely make gourmet meals…
  • You can chose an option to make cooks shout at children faces. Go to social >> Be mean to… >> Chose a group or a life state.
  • To increase your chance of groups interacting, make the option 4 “be nice to / be funny to / be mean to… >> this group”
  • Adult can automatically teach kids some skill (piano, violin, painting, basketball etc.) if they see kids use these objects. For this, your adult need to be level 10. If your teachers have 10 at one skill, they’ll most likeky try to teach to a kid something…
  • If you want them to be in a private school, assigned them a uniform. Please, note that the sims need to be in their everyday wear to turn into their uniform clothes. They can “lose” their uniform if they turn into their sport wears (for example, if they use the basketball hoop). If so, go talk to them and chose the interaction : “show me your… >> everyday outfits” Then the sims will get his uniform back.
  • To go further… You have the possibility to make smaller group for extra activities like drawing, basketball etc. and assigned them uniforms, lock the doors and only them will go there.
  • If you want to avoid townies break in during class, put all the computers somewhere else. Same for the bookshelves !

IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS COMMENT OR DM ME !

What’s wild about the whole  Daddyofive incident is that people are acting like the abuse will somehow stop now that they took down the videos, or that the parents will magically be “improved” or “less abusive” now that they’ve “apologized”. Please. That’s not how abusive people work. 

In all of the apology videos they literally blame everyone else except for themselves for the shit that goes down in the videos. The kids wanted to make the videos (Cody wants to be screamed at until he feels deeply unloved and unwanted and tries to run away??? wow), the viewers are responsible for making the kids unsafe (because you are telling them people are threatening to kill them!! You deserve to have your youngest kids taken from you!!)

The parents are constantly egging the kids to snitch on each other, harrass  and torment each other, and take and break one another’s private and treasured belongings. They invade the child’s spaces, they play mind games, they laugh when they beat up on each other or when the kids have mental break downs (they took down the videos BUT BASICALLY EVERY VIDEO one of the kids suffered a mental/emotional breakdown, and there is no comfort for them afterwards or even space for them to feel ok and process what happened). Point is, the parents actively engaged and encouraged this kind of behavior. They never held one of the kids, told them they loved them, apologized to them. Every mistake was a massive failure that was harshly penalized, its never clear when the pranks start or end, and they even sometimes end with the pranked kid getting punished and screamed at for “bad behavior”.

Yes, the dad was doing it for the attention, the views, and the money. But you know what? His source of validation and attention is now gone. His endless desire for attention, power, and control doesn’t suddenly evaporate too. In their apology video they made it clear they thought the kids were responsible for the content of the videos. You can bet your ass that they are going to crack down on the kids. Even if they go on the down low now, I guarantee abuse will continue, regardless of whether or not there is video evidence. They will continue to take out their rage on Cody and the younger kids. What happens in that household happens in households around the world every day. 

Full Esquire Interview - CHRIS EVANS IS READY TO FIGHT

“HIS SUCCESS AS CAPTAIN AMERICA HAS MADE CHRIS EVANS ONE OF HOLLYWOOD’S SURE THINGS, WHICH MEANS HE CAN DO WHATEVER HE WANTS WITH HIS FREE TIME. SO WHY JUMP OUT OF AIRPLANES AND GET INTO IT WITH DAVID DUKE?

BY MAXIMILLIAN POTTERMAR 15, 2017


The Canadian commandos are the first to jump. Our plane reaches an altitude of about eight thousand feet; the back door opens. Although it’s a warm winter day below in rural southern California, up here, not so much. In whooshes freezing air and the cold reality that this is actually happening. Out drop the eight commandos, all in black-and-red camouflage, one after the other. For them it’s a training exercise, and Jesus, these crazy bastards are stoked. The last Canuck to exit into the nothingness is a freakishly tall stud with a crew cut and a handlebar mustache; just before he leaps, he flashes a smile our way. Yeah, yeah, we get it: You’re a badass.

Moments later, the plane’s at ten thousand feet, and the next to go are a Middle Eastern couple in their late thirties. These two can’t wait. They are ecstatic. Skydiving is clearly a thing for them. Why? I can’t help thinking. Is it like foreplay? Do they rush off to the car after landing and get it on in the parking lot? They give us the thumbs-up and they’re gone.

Just like that, we’re at 12,500 feet and it’s our turn. Me and Chris Evans, recognized throughout the universe as the star of the Marvel-comic-book-inspired Captain America and Avengers movies. The five films in the series, which began in 2011 with Captain America: The First Avenger, have grossed more than $4 billion.

The two of us, plus four crew members, are the only ones left in the back of the plane. Over the loud drone of the twin propellers, one of the crew members shouts, "Okay, who’s going first?”

Evans and I are seated on benches opposite each other. Neither of us answers. I look at him; he looks at me. I feel like I’ve swallowed a live rat. Evans is over there, all Captain America cool, smiling away.

While we were waiting to board the plane, Evans told me that as he lay in bed the night before, “I started exploring the sensation of ‘What if the chute doesn’t open?’. . .”

Oh, did you now?

“. . .Those last minutes where you know.” As in you know you’re going to fatally splat. “You’re not gonna pass out; you’re gonna be wide awake. So what? Do I close my eyes? Hopefully, it would be quick. Lights out. I fucking hope it would be quick. And then I was like, if you’re gonna do it, let’s just pretend there is no way this is going to go wrong. Just really embrace it and jump out of that plane with gusto.” Evans also shared that he’d looked up the rate of skydiving fatalities. “It’s, like, 0.006 fatalities per one thousand jumps. So I figure our odds are pretty good.”

Again the crew member shouts, “Who’s going first?”

Again I look at Evans; again he looks at me. The rat is running circles in my belly.

I look at Evans; he looks at me.

Another crew member asks, “So whose idea was this, anyway?”


That’s an excellent question.

I ask Evans the same thing when we first meet, the evening before our jump, at his house. He lives atop the Hollywood Hills, in a modern-contemporary ranch in the center of a Japanese-style garden. The place has the vibe of an L.A. meditation retreat—there’s even a little Buddha statue on the front step.

The dude who opens the front door is in jeans, a T-shirt, and Nikes; he has on a black ball cap with the NASA logo, and his beard is substantial enough that for a second it’s hard to be sure this is the same guy who plays the baby-faced superhero. Our handshake in the doorway is interrupted when his dog rockets toward my crotch. Evans is sorry about that.

We do the small-talk thing. Evans is from a suburb of Boston, one of four kids raised by Dad, a dentist, and Mom, who ran a community theater. The point is, he’s a Patriots fan, and with Super Bowl LI, between the Pats and the Falcons, just a few days away at the time, it’s about the only thing on his mind. You bet your Sam Adams–guzzling ass he’s going to the game in Houston. “Oh my God,” he says, doing a little dance. “I can’t believe it’s this weekend.”

Like any self-respecting Pats fan, Evans is super-wicked pissed at NFL commissioner Roger Goodell.

Evans won’t be rolling to SB LI with a posse of Beantown-to-Hollywood A-listers like Mark Wahlberg, Matt Damon, and Ben Affleck. For the record, he’s never met Damon, and his only interaction with Wahlberg was a couple years ago at a Patriots event. Evans has, however, humiliated himself in front of Affleck.

Around 2006, Evans met with Affleck to talk about Gone Baby Gone, which Affleck was directing. Evans was walking down a hallway, looking for the room where they were supposed to meet. Walking by an open office, he heard Affleck, in that thick Boston accent of his, shout, “There he is!” (Evans does a perfect Affleck impersonation.)

By then, Evans had hit the big time for his turn as the Human Torch, Johnny Storm, in 2005’s Fantastic Four, but he still got starstruck. As he tells it, “First thing I say to him: 'Am I going to be okay where I parked?’ He was like, 'Where did you park?’ I said, 'At a meter.’ And he was like, 'Did you put money in the meter?’ And I said, 'Yep.’ And he says, 'Well, I think you’ll be okay.’ I was like, this is off to a great fucking start.” Stating the obvious here: Evans did not get the part.

No, Evans will be heading to the Super Bowl with his brother and three of his closest buddies. Like any self-respecting Pats fan, Evans is super-wicked pissed at NFL commissioner Roger Goodell for imposing that suspension on Tom Brady for Deflategate. Grabbing two beers from a fridge that’s otherwise basically empty, Evans says, “I just want to see Goodell hand the trophy to Brady. Goodell. Piece of shit.”

In Evans’s living room, there’s not a single hint of his Captain Americaness. Earth tones, tables that appear to be made of reclaimed wood. Open. Uncluttered. Glass doors open onto a backyard with a stunning view of the Hills. Evans stretches out on one of two couches. I take the other and ask, “Just whose idea was it to jump?” Since we both know whose idea it wasn’t, we both know that what I’m really asking is Why? Why, dude, do you want to jump (with me) from a goddamn airplane? “Yeah,” he says, popping open his beer, “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Settling in on the couch, he groans. Evans explains that he’s hurting all over because he just started his workout routine the day before to get in shape for the next two Captain America films. The movies will be shot back to back beginning in April. After that, no more red- white-and-blue costume for the thirty-five-year-old. He will have fulfilled his contract.

“Yeah,” he says, popping open his beer, “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Back in 2010, Marvel presented Evans with a nine-picture deal. He insisted he’d sign on for no more than six. Some family members thought he was nuts to dial back such a secure and lucrative gig. Evans saw it differently.

It takes five months to shoot a Marvel movie, and when you tack on the promotional obligations for each one, well, shit, man. Evans knew that for as long as he was bound to Captain America, he would have little time to take on other projects. He wanted to direct, he wanted to play other characters—roles that were more human—like the lead in Gifted, which will hit theaters this month. The script had brought him to tears. Evans managed to squeeze the movie in between Captain America and Avengers films.

FOX Searchlight

In Gifted, Evans stars as Frank Adler. You don’t get much more human than Adler, a grease-under-his-nails boat-engine mechanic living the bachelor life in Florida. After a series of tragic circumstances, Adler becomes a surrogate father to his niece, Mary, a first-grader with the IQ of Einstein. He recognizes that Mary is a little genius, and he does his best to prevent anyone else from noticing. Given the aforementioned circumstances, Adler has witnessed what can happen when a kid with a brilliant mind is pushed too hard too quickly. Then along comes Mary’s teacher. She discovers the child’s gift, and a Kramer vs. Kramer–esque drama ensues.

During a moment in the film when things aren’t going Adler’s way, he sarcastically refers to himself as a “fucking hero.” Evans says the line didn’t lead him to make comparisons between superhero Steve Rogers (aka Captain America) and Everyman hero Frank Adler. But now that you mention it . . . 

“With Steve Rogers,” Evans says, “even though you’re on a giant movie with a huge budget and strange costumes, you’re still on a hunt for the truth of the character.” That said, “with Adler, it’s nice to play someone relatable. I think Julianne Moore said, 'The audience doesn’t come to see you; they come to see themselves.’ Adler is someone you can hold up as a mirror for someone in the audience. They’ll be able to far more easily identify with Frank Adler than Steve Rogers.”

Dodger. That’s the name of Evans’s dog, the one who headbutted my nuts and has since done a marvelous job of making amends by nuzzling against me on the couch. Evans got him while he was filming Gifted; one of the last scenes was shot in an animal shelter in Georgia. Evans had wanted a dog ever since his last pooch died in 2012. Then he found himself walking the aisles of this pound, and there was this mixed-breed boxer, wagging his tail and looking like he belonged with Evans.

Dodger is not exactly a name you’d think a die-hard Boston sports fan would pick. His boys from back home have given him a ton of shit over it. But he has not abandoned his Red Sox for the L.A. team. As a kid, he loved the Disney animated movie Oliver & Company, and his favorite character was Dodger. Anticipating the grief he was going to get from his pals, Evans considered other names. “You could name your dog Doorknob,” he says, “and in a month he’s fucking Doorknob.” Evans’s mom convinced him to go with his gut.

Right around when Evans was wrapping Gifted and heading back to L.A. with Dodger, the 2016 presidential campaign was still in that phase when no one, including the actor—a Hillary Clinton supporter—thought Trump had a shot. He still can’t believe Trump won.

“I feel rage,” he says. “I feel fury. It’s unbelievable. People were just so desperate to hear someone say that someone is to blame. They were just so happy to hear that someone was angry. Hear someone say that Washington sucks. They just want something new without actually understanding. I mean, guys like Steve Bannon—Steve Bannon!—this man has no place in politics.”

Evans has made, and continues to make, his political views known on Twitter. He tweeted that Trump ought to “stop energizing lies,” and he recently ended up in a heated Twitter debate with former KKK leader David Duke over Trump’s pick of Jeff Sessions for attorney general. Duke baselessly accused Evans of being anti-Semitic; Evans encouraged Duke to try love: “It’s stronger than hate. It unites us. I promise it’s in you under the anger and fear.” Making political statements and engaging in such public exchanges is a rather risky thing for the star of Captain America to do. Yes, advisors have said as much to him. “Look, I’m in a business where you’ve got to sell tickets,” he says. “But, my God, I would not be able to look at myself in the mirror if I felt strongly about something and didn’t speak up. I think it’s about how you speak up. We’re allowed to disagree. If I state my case and people don’t want to go see my movies as a result, I’m okay with that.”

Trump. Bannon. Politics. Now Evans is animated. He gets off the couch, walks out onto his porch, and lights a cigarette. “Some people say, 'Don’t you see what’s happening? It’s time to yell,' ” Evans says. “Yeah, I see it, and it’s time for calm. Because not everyone who voted for Trump is going to be some horrible bigot. There are a lot of people in that middle; those are the people you can’t lose your credibility with. If you’re trying to change minds, by spewing too much rhetoric you can easily become white noise.”


Evans has a pretty remarkable “How I got to Hollywood” story.

During his junior year of high school, he knew he wanted to act. He was doing it a lot. In school. At his mom’s theater. He loved it. “When you’re doing a play at thirteen years old and have opening night? None of my friends had opening nights. 'I can’t have a sleepover, guys; I have an opening night tonight.' ”

That same year, he did a two-man play. For all of the twenty-plus plays Evans had done up to that point, preparation meant going home, memorizing lines, and doing a few run-throughs with the cast. However, for this play, Fallen Star, he and his costar would rehearse by running dialogue with each other. Hour upon hour, night after night.

Fallen Star is about two friends, one of whom has just died. As the play opens, one of the characters comes home after the funeral to find his dead friend’s ghost. Evans was the ghost. Waiting backstage on opening night, he knew he didn’t have every line memorized, but he had the essence and emotion of the play down. Onstage, he remembers, “I was saying the lines not because they were memorized but because the play was in me. I was believing what I was saying.”

He was hooked. He wanted to do more of this kind of acting—real acting. He wanted to do films, in which the camera was right on him and he could just be the character, rather than theater, in which an actor must perform to the back of the room.

A family friend who was a television actor advised Evans that if he wanted to go to Hollywood, he needed an agent. Toward the end of his junior year, he had a ballsy request for his parents: If he found an internship with a casting agent in New York City, would they allow him to live there and cover the rent? They agreed. Evans landed a gig with Bonnie Finnegan, who was then working on the television show Spin City.

“I just fucked off. I lost my virginity that year. 1999 was one of the best years of my life.” Until it wasn’t.

Evans chose to intern with a casting agent because he figured he had more of a chance to interact with other agents trying to get auditions for their clients.

The kid was sixteen years old.

Finnegan put Evans on the phone; his responsibilities included setting up appointments for auditions. By the end of the summer, he picked the three agents he had the best rapport with and asked each of them to give him a five-minute audition. All three said yes. After seeing his audition, all three were interested.

Evans went with the one Finnegan recommended, Bret Adams, who told Evans to return to New York for auditions in January, television pilot season. Back home, Evans doubled up on a few classes the first semester of his senior year, graduated early, and went back to New York in January. He got the same shithole apartment in Brooklyn and the same internship with Finnegan. He landed a part on the pilot Opposite Sex. Even better, the show got picked up and would start shooting in L.A. that fall.

“I know I’m going to L.A. in August,” Evans says, recalling that period. “So I go home and that spring I would wake up around noon, saunter into high school just to see my buddies, and we’d go get high in the parking lot. I just fucked off. I lost my virginity that year. 1999 was one of the best years of my life.” Until it wasn’t.

He wasn’t in L.A. for even a month when he got a call from home. His parents were divorcing. Evans never saw it coming.

Family and love and the struggles therein are part of what attracted Evans to Gifted.

“In my own life, I have a deep connection with my family and the value of those bonds,” he says. “I’ve always loved stories about people who put their families before themselves. It’s such a noble endeavor. You can’t choose your family, as opposed to friends. Especially in L.A. You really get to see how friendships are put to the test; it stirs everyone’s egos. But if something goes south with a friend, you have the option to say we’re not friends anymore. Your family—that’s your family. Trying to make that system work and trying to make it not just functional but actually enjoyable is a really challenging endeavor, and that’s certainly how it is with my family.”


the plane, a decision is made.

“I want to see you jump first,” Evans shouts my way.

Of course he does.

Like any respectable and legal skydiving center, Skydive Perris, which is providing us with this “experience,” doesn’t just strap a chute on your back. First, you go to a room for a period of instruction. Then you go to another room, where you sign away your rights.

You may be wondering how the star of a billion-dollar franchise with two pictures to shoot gets clearance to jump from an airplane—never mind the low rate of fatalities, as Evans has presented it. So am I.

“Well, they give you all these crazy insurance policies, but even if I die, what are they going to do? Sue my family? They’d probably cast some new guy at a cheaper price and save some money.”

Thinking the answer is almost certainly going to be no, I ask Evans if he’s ever gone skydiving before. Turns out he has, with an ex-girlfriend. Turns out that ex-girlfriend is now married to Justin Timberlake. Evans and Jessica Biel dated off and on from 2001 to 2006. They took the leap together when Biel hatched the idea for one Valentine’s Day. According to media accounts, Evans was recently dating his Gifted costar Jenny Slate, who plays the teacher. “Yeah,” he says, “but I’m steering clear of those questions.” You can almost feel his heart pinch.

“There’s a certain shared life experience that is tough for someone else who’s not in this industry to kind of wrap their head around.”

We end up broadly discussing the unique challenges an international star like Evans faces when it comes to dating, specifically the trust factor. Evans supposes that’s why so many actors date other actors: “There’s a certain shared life experience that is tough for someone else who’s not in this industry to kind of wrap their head around,” he says. “Letting someone go to work with someone for three months and they won’t see them. It really, it certainly puts the relationship to the test.”

In Gifted, there’s a moment when Slate’s character asks Adler what his greatest fear is. Frank Adler’s greatest fear is that he’ll ruin his niece’s life. Evans’s greatest fear is having regrets.

“Like always kind of wanting to be there as opposed to here. I think I’m worried all of a sudden I’ll get old and have regrets, realize that I’ve not cultivated enough of an appreciation for the now and surrendering to the present moment.”

Evans’s musings have something to do with the fact that he has been reading The Surrender Experiment. “It’s about the basic notion that we are only in a good mood when things are going our way,” he says. “The truth is, life is going to unfold as it’s going to unfold regardless of your input. If you are an active participant in that awareness, life kind of washes over you, good or bad. You kind of become Teflon a little bit to the struggles that we self-inflict.”

He continues: “Our conscious minds are very spread out. We worry about the past. We worry about the future. We label. And all of that stuff just makes us very separate. What I’m trying to do is just quiet it down. Put that brain down from time to time and hope those periods of quiet and stillness get longer. When you do that, what rises from the mist is a kind of surrendering. You’re more connected as opposed to being separate. A lot of the questions about destiny or fate or purpose or any of that stuff—it’s not like you get answers. You just realize you didn’t need the questions.”

This here—this stuff about surrendering, letting life unfold, taking the leap—this is why he wanted to go skydiving. It’s why that sixteen-year-old took the leap and did the summer in New York; it’s why he took the leap and turned down the nine-picture deal; it’s why he got Dodger. Surrender. Take the leap.

And so I go first.

Oh, one important detail: Novice jumpers like Evans and me, we don’t jump solo. Thank God. Each of us is doing a tandem jump. Each of us is strapped with our back to a professional jumper’s front. I’m strapped to a forty-four-year-old dude named Paul. Considering what’s about to happen, I figure I should know a little something about Paul. He tells me he used to own a bar in Chicago. Evans is strapped to a young woman named Sam, who looks to be twenty-something. She’s got a purplish-pink streak in her black hair and says things like “badass.” In fact, Sam introduced herself  by saying, “I’m Sam, but you can call me Badass.”

At the plane’s open door, my mind goes to my wife and two teenage sons, to those I love, and to the texts I just sent in case my chute fails. Then Paul and I—well, really mostly Paul—rock gently back and forth to build momentum to push away from the plane, to push away from all that seems sane.

Three.

Two.

One.

Holy fuck.

HOLY FUCK. This is what I scream as we free-fall from 12,500 feet, at more than a hundred miles an hour, toward the earth. Which I cannot take my eyes off of. I think about nothing. Not living. Not dying. Nothing. I simply feel . . . I have let go.

Suddenly, it all stops. I’m jerked up. Paul has pulled the chute, and it does indeed open. This is fantastic, because it means we have a much better chance of not dying. But it’s also kind of a bummer. I had let go. Of everything. I had chosen to play those odds Evans had talked about. I had embraced jumping and letting life unfold.

Now I had been jerked back. I would land. Back on the earth I had been so high above and from which I had been so far removed. Back in all of it.

Once I’m on the ground, safe and in one piece, a staffer runs over and asks how I feel. I say, “I feel like Captain America.”

The staffer runs over and asks Evans the same question. He says he feels great. Then he’s asked another question: What was your favorite part?

“Jumping out,” he says. “Jumping out is always a real thrill.”


This article appears in the April '17 issue of Esquire.

how the neighbor houses meet

1st and 2nd:
your outfit, your signature scent, what you pick off the menu

2nd and 3rd:
sharing toys with your siblings, a book collection

3rd and 4th: the kids table at a holiday dinner, reading the newspaper at the breakfast table

4th and 5th: family game night, toddlers

5th and 6th: beautiful detail in gifts for a loved one, making your child’s lunch lovingly every school day

6th and 7th: calligraphy in a love letter, lipstick marks on the seal of the envelope

7th and 8th: intimacy, discovering yourself through another

8th and 9th: realizations about human nature, spiritual truth through the occult, mind blowing sex

9th and 10th: a bright eyed and bushy tailed intern, success

10th and 11th: an office party, invention through necessity

11th and 12th: video games, organized religion, digital art

12th and 1st: perception altering drugs, death to birth

This man unleashes a horrifying virus that infects anyone and is pretty much always lethal unless a very small group of three doctors can reach you in time, and said virus also creates incredibly dangerous monsters with minds of their own and a desire to end their hosts life to complete their own bodies.

And all of this is because some kid sent him a picture of his OC video game character.

Dan Kuroto, the pettiest man in all of fiction.

Secrets

Requested. (This was a little bit difficult for me….hope it’s up to par D:)

Song or Quote : Love is unselfishly choosing for another’s highest good.
Who: Peter Parker

Peter sulked behind Tony who led them to an old diner that miraculously was still standing after everything the city had been through. He was dreading what was going to be said to him once they finally sat down. Peter had messed up, bad. Tony ordered a black coffee and a cherry turnover while Peter just stuck to a chocolate milk. He didn’t even want anything but Tony insisted he get something. The silence was painful and seemed like it was never going to end. 

After some time of watching Tony eat his turnover, Peter finally decided to break the painful quiet. “Look, Mr. Stark, I just, I need, I want to apologize for not being on my A game tonight.” 

Tony chewed for a minute, staring at the teenager before swallowing and deciding to respond back. “Mind telling me why I almost got my head ripped off and your body almost getting torn in half? This isn’t some game, kid. It’s real life and real life means real danger and real danger means broken bones and dead bodies. When I bring you along to these kinds of things, I bring you because I need you. Just because I’m Iron-man doesn’t mean I can do everything which is something you will never hear me say again.” 

Peter bit his lip, shaking his head. Trying to find the words to justify why his mind was not where it was supposed to be. Stuttering and tripping over his words, he bowed his head and mumbled, “I’m sorry, Mr. Stark. I, it’s, I, my-”

“-just stop.” Tony sighed, running a hand over his face, he inhaled deeply. This was a kid sitting in front of him, just a kid. A kid that was fortunate to have these abilities and unfortunate at the same time because he was stuck with them. Looking at Peter, he asked calmly, “Where was your mind at, kid? Why weren’t you focused?”

Peter refused to meet Tony’s gaze, he didn’t want to admit why he had been spacing out. Because, he knew that lives were at stake but the guilt of cancelling his date with [Y/N] for the fourth time in a row was eating away at him. He desperately tried to keep his crime fighting life as Spider-Man and [Y/N] separate. He didn’t want to put that burden on her, constantly being worried whether or not he was going to make it home or not. It wasn’t fair to cause stress when he could just avoid it and keep his Spider-Man life private. 

Sipping on his coffee, Tony sternly spoke. “If we’re going to be working together, we’ve got to be honest with one another.”

Again Peter didn’t respond, he just didn’t know how. 

“What was so damn important in that brain of yours that made you forget about your life for one split second?”

Peter toyed with his hands, shrugging his shoulders, getting frustrated with himself. “I don’t know, Mr. Stark. I just, I spaced. I know this is important and that I should always stay focused but, I just, I-”

“-Peter, listen to me, and you listen good. I see potential in you, please for the love of god don’t make me regret my decision.”

Peter frowned, looking down in his lap, he toyed with his fingers again. “I’m seeing this girl, [Y/N], Mr. Stark. I have been for awhile now and I kept it a secret because I don’t know, I want to keep my personal life for just me. And I don’t want to drag her into this life because well, she doesn’t need to be apart of it.” Looking up at Tony, Peter sighed. “I’m still a kid and I want to do kid things like go to school, see her in the hall and think to myself, ‘wow, she’s so beautiful,’ and then meet up with her at the lockers and talk about how her day has been going. Go on dates, have awkward moments on those said dates, struggle to find the words to say when I find out that I love her.” Peter ran both hands through his hair, “Tonight was the fourth night in a row that I’ve cancelled on her and I’m just afraid that she’ll leave me and I don’t want that because when I’m with her, I feel good. I feel great, actually. I feel normal, I feel like just a normal kid and it’s an escape from this double life I’m living-which don’t get me wrong, Mr. Stark, this life is nice too because I feel like I’m making a difference in this world but sometimes I just need a getaway and [Y/N] is my getaway. Wait…what are you doing?” 

Tony mumbled under his breath, “I may have bit off more than I can chew.” His focus was completely focused on his watch, his fingers were hovering over a holographic keyboard as he toyed with it. In seconds [Y/N] social media profile was hovering in the air, “Is this? This is the girl you’re seeing?” Tony seemed impressed, “She’s cute.” He looked up in time to find Peter’s horrified stare, ignoring it, he skimmed through her pictures and interests. “Very cute, aw, well isn’t this sweet. Is that the Statue of Liberty? It is, isn’t it. Hm, let’s see ‘Peter took me to see Lady Liberty today!’ Oh come on, man. You took her to see the Statue of Liberty for a date?” 

Still stunned that Tony had [Y/N]’s social in his hands, he swallowed. “Uh, yeah, she, uh, she’s always wanted to go and I thought, you know, I should, wait why are we talking about this right now?” He wanted to get off the topic of [Y/N]. There was a reason why he kept her from Tony despite knowing that he could easily get onto it. 

Waving his hand over the floating images, they vanished. Toying with the keyboard some more, another image popped up over his wrist. Swiping the images, he nodded in approval. “She’s a smart girl. All A’s and lookie here, she’s in three AP classes. How old are you again? How does she have the time for this and you? These are some impressive scores, probably the highest in your grade I take it. Let’s just see, oh look, she does with you being right behind her.” Waving his hand again to make them disappear, Tony leaned forward. “Okay, look, I get why you’re head over heels, puppy dog in love with her. She’s a cute, smart, very smart girl.” 

“Did you? Did you just hack into my school’s grading system to look at her grades?”

Waggling his finger, Tony narrowed his eyes. “Ah, no changing the subject and really? You have to ask? I’m Tony Stark, I could get into this rinky dink diner’s security system and shut it down.” Clearing his throat, “Listen to me, kid. Love is unselfishly choosing for another’s highest good. You put your life at risk tonight because you were too busy worrying about her. But you know what, I get that, I get you want to protect her from this double life thing your living. I get it. But what you don’t understand is that keeping her from this, is only making it worse for you and her.” 

"I can’t just tell her I’m Spider-Man! She’ll freak out and if she freaks out, I’ll freak out. Her and Aunt May are very similar in their freaking out episodes. I have to keep it a secret.”

“You know, I’ve heard girls date men that resemble and remind them of their fathers but I’ve never heard boys dating girls that remind them of their really attractive aunts.” 

Peter narrowed his eyes, “I never said [Y/N] reminds me of Aunt May, I just said they freak out the same. But yes to some degree, I guess you could say they have similar qualities-but that’s besides the point! I am not telling her I’m Spider-Man.” 

Tony rolled his eyes, sighing dramatically. “When you have someone that means this much to you, you want to protect them and only them. I’ve been there, kid. You want to make the world a better place for them but the thing is, is when you step foot into that suit. It’s not just about them, it’s about everyone. You have a responsibility to save as many people as you can. And when you’re all in love and what not, you lose sight of that responsibility. Prime example was tonight when we almost died.” 

“So I just what? Break up with her and suffer? Because I don’t think I can do that, Mr. Stark. If anything, it’ll make my concentration worse.”

“I’m not saying that. What I am saying is you have a responsibility to save as many lives as you can without losing your own. You’re young, you’ll find other [Y/N]’s, if not better ones.”

Peter squinted his eyes, shaking his head. “No, I won’t. There’s no one like [Y/N]. No one.” 

Tony half nodded, understanding the firm point the teenager had. Sighing, he rubbed his forehead, “This job isn’t easy and you’ve got a long way to go before these instincts start to feel like second nature.” Glancing out the window, his eyes caught sight of a familiar face among a crowd of kids about to step foot into the diner. “Word of advice, Parker? You should tell her what you’ve been up to. Because one thing I will say is that despite my distaste for love, that kind of girl is not the kind of girl you let slip away from your fingers over something so irritatingly silly as not telling her who you are and what you do.” Throwing down some money, he stood up and winked at Peter before saying, “Because a few years from now, I may scout her to work for me and that’d be so unbelievably awkward to work with her after you were an idiot in not telling her.” 

“Wait, where are you going?”

“Out the door to my lavish expensive penthouse where I can take a wonderful lavender bath.”

“Peter?”

Peter spun around, frozen in place to find [Y/N] standing behind him. Struggling to stand up, his knees banged the underside of the table before scrambling out of the booth. [Y/N]?! What, what are you doing here?” 

Raising a brow, she eyed Tony suspiciously, “I could ask you the same thing…”

Tony smiled, “You must be [Y/N], Peter has told me so much about you. Sorry about having him cancel on your date but I really needed to finish up some finishing details on his entry for the September Foundation.”

“At a run down diner?” She asked, not really believing in his lie.

“You know what, you, my sweet girl, are a lot smarter than I had been told.” Moving around her, he headed for the door. “Peter will telling you everything you need to know.” Winking before leaving the door, he chuckled to himself as he left Peter looking frantic and nervous. 

[Y/N] crossed her arms, “Peter, what is going on? I thought you said Aunt May wouldn’t let you go out tonight. And why the hell was Tony Stark in this diner with you? And, the September Foundation? What is he talking about?”

Sighing, he reached for her hand, “We need to have a long talk about all of those questions but not here.” 

Misha Collins @ SeaCon

was pretty much worth the price of admission, tbh:

  • When asked what he shipped, went off on a tangent about how when he first started conning few dared ask that question and he had no idea what it meant (while now he knows what an OTP is), and then said he wasn’t going to give his usual answers with the car or Bobby, before finally saying, ‘Well, I’ve written a lot of Wincest.’
  • Thinks Cas prefers to be an angel rather than a human (because he’s going to be a weird misfit dork as any species and at least as an angel he’s got superpowers).
  • When asked where is Sam’s handprint brand from when Cas pulled him out of hell, gave a pretty much unrepeatable answer about doing it where/how it wouldn’t leave a visible scar. It’s what you’re thinking, if you have a dirty mind. There were gestures. And the Cas voice (something like, “It might sting…”)
  • Confirmed the existence of X-rated cast&crew-party-only gag reels.
  • Is unbelievably adorable with his kids (which, obviously, but the way his voice changes around them, aww).
  • Would not win the Newlywed Game (because he and his spouse are not newlyweds!)
sushi || pjm (f)

Going out on a date with some guy you met at a café could bring more with it than meets the eye.

❀ genre: fluff.
❀ word count: 5,3k+
Spotify playlist | Youtube playlist

With slow steps, you dragged your feet towards the bathroom, feeling really tired from the nap you just woke up from. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to sleep before a date, but you couldn’t help yourself as you had woken up really early for work. A small smile played upon your lips as you thought about it, work. It’s where you met him.


‘’Y/N! A caramel macchiato!’’ your co-worker yelled from the counter as you hastily wiped away the mess you just made.

‘’Coming right at ya,’’ you just told him, still wiping the counter and now also the floor, as coffee dripped from the edges. Brown droplets splashed in front of your white shoes, almost making them brown too, but with a few more wipes it looked like nothing was ever there.

A heavy sigh left your mouth and you heard a shy voice speaking a few metres away from you.

‘’Please, t-take your time,’’ the voice said as you whipped your head around, gazing at the guy to which the voice belonged with surprised eyes. When you met his eyes, your heart was about the burst and you could feel your head getting lighter.

Warm, chocolate brown eyes, a bit puffy and a face handsome as hell. Lips plump at first, but when his mouth went upwards, the cutest smile ever appeared, making his eyes smile as well. You had no idea how a stranger could make you feel all giddy, but he did. His ash blonde hair fell in front of his face in various ways, and it gave him this chill and cute vibe.

‘’Oh Jesus, Lord, save me,’’ was the only thought going through your mind,

Keep reading

You know what I want in a Mass Effect game?

An ace asari. Or aro/ace.

Asari are so sexualized even though they literally do not need sex to reproduce (the mind meld can be done without sex!), I would just love to see one that had no interest in sex or sexual attraction.

Also a hopeless romantic salarian.

Supposedly salarians don’t marry for love but for “alliances” so to speak through breeding contracts, but I’d love a salarian who’s in love with the idea of love. And maybe they’d prefer to be with another salarian to have kids one day, or maybe they’re cool with another species if it means they’ve found love.

The joys of playing support

This was the most marvelous game I ever played. Dorado Defense, one kid on my team had been going on about his “Noob team” (which was great btw) for a while now, spewing insults, you know acting like he came right from a call of duty session.

I suggested he chill. He suggested I drink bleach.

I could have muted him. I could have blocked him. I could have sent a report. But as the lone Mercy, there was only one thing that I would do.

Take him off heals of course.

I healed everyone else. Sometimes I’d stand next to him when he was at critical health and healed the person at full health by his side.

Halfway through the game he started begging.

I’ve gained twenty years to my life from the frantic “MERRCY PLZZZ” that I got.

I had half a mind to make him beg for my forgiveness, but I was busy keeping the rest of the team alive.

He forgot the one lesson of any multiplayer game.

Do not annoy the healer.

Yes, Daddy (M)

Yoongi x Reader ft. Namjoon

Word Count: 3,830

Warnings: Dirty dirty smut. Voyeurism, exhibitionism Daddy kink, slight bondage…..whoops.

Summary: After a month apart, Yoongi comes back home with the boys of BTS. After finding a surprise gift from him, you meet up with the boys for a celebratory dinner/anniversary party, but Yoongi has other plans for you.

A/N: This is my fic, I’m just re-posting onto my sideblog.


It was a gloomy day, rain streaking the windows of your small apartment. You were curled up in bed with your fluffiest blankets and your favourite book, when you heard a faint knock.

Confused, you walked to the door and opened it, only to find there was no one there. You looked down the hallway but no one was in sight. Something at your feet caught your eye, looking down you saw a pale pink box with white ribbons tied around it, and a pretty bow resting on top. An envelope sat on the box so you reached down to open it.

Princess,

It’s been too long since I’ve seen you and I feel like treating my princess to a night out. I know this is last minute, but trust me and follow the instructions inside. All of them. Meet me at the restaurant.

Love,

Yoongi

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Batjokes Handling Alfred's Time off Headcanons

- Bruce and the kids can’t cook to save themselves from starvation; at some point, after days of Alfred’s absence and takeaway, they’ll even eat Dick’s infamously teeth-rotting pancakes if it means putting something handmade in their stomachs.

- J. finds all of this hilarious, of course, but he offers to make food for them; mind you, it’s not French cuisine but he can do mean toasties and pasta.

- The deal though, is that everyone else has to do the washing up.

- Once Bruce almost flooded Alfred’s precious kitchen so, he was exonerated from the task.

- The kids set up some weird and mildly violent competitive game involving squirt guns filled with dish soap (the idea was Tim’s)

- Jason is disgustingly competitive and not above maiming if it means winning (he’s known for squirting soap in his brothers’ eyes)

- Dick and Damian are the Terrible Duo

- They even set up teams and hung up a score board behind the fridge, well hidden from Alfred’s disapproving gaze.

- The system with which they assign points is not exactly clear and they take every chance to cheat as if there is no tomorrow (Bruce is appalled by their lack of fair play, while J. is not-so-secretly proud)

- Deep under Bruce is pretty happy, though - not only this is a good bonding exercise that makes them have fun and train some of their reflexes at the same time, but it’s also a small accepting step towards J.

- They lost count of the times someone got seriously injured after slipping on the suds covering the floor.

- At the end of each game, J. ends up making hot chocolate (or smoothies, it depends on the season) for everyone.

- Everytime Alfred comes back from his holidays, the kitchen is spotless but he knows his scoundrels well and always goes to check on the score board hidden behind the fridge.

- Because he’s an evil man, he changes the scores and grins at the idea of the boys screaming murder at each other.

- They’re a big happy family.

Betting On It

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Words: 2.5k

A/N: so this was originally posted on a tumblr i shared with my friends (we no longer use it) but i really love the idea of it so i fixed it up a bit! 

“Let’s make a bet.” You glance up at your best friend across the table. He has an evil glint in his eye, a sign telling you not to go with it but your curiosity gets the better of you.

“What bet?” You tread cautiously.

“Let’s go out on Valentine’s Day and see how many people mistaken us as a couple.” 

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Writing Prompts

To celebrate me reaching 1.8k, Send me a number and a character and I’ll write a drabble. 

(from different sources, so credit to all)

1. “I don’t want to have a baby.”
2. “Did you enjoy yourself last night?” 
3. “Are you kidding me? We’re not ‘fine’!
4. “You’ve only heard his side of the story. You never asked for mine.”
5. “Well, this is where I live.” 
6. “Oh my God! You’re in love with him/her!”
7. “You make me feel like I’m not good enough.”
8. “For some reason I’m attracted to you.” 
9. “I am not losing you again.” 
10. “Why don’t they just kiss already?” 
11. “I think I picked up your coffee by mistake.” 
12. “All I wanted was your honesty.” 
13. “Why do you keep pushing me away?” 
14. “I can’t explain right now, but I need you to trust me.” 
15. “I’ve never felt this way before….and it scares the shit out of me.” 
16. “Don’t fucking touch me!”
17. “Are you really taking his side against me?”
18. “Wait a seconds are you jealous?” 
19. “I wish I could hate you.” 
20. “I’m sorry if this upsets you, but I’m going to marry her/him.” 
21. “You know, it hurt when I realized that you’re not in love with me. But nothing can compare to the pain I felt when I saw you fall in love with her.
22. “Come over here and make me.” 
23. “This is by far the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.” 
24. “You’re the only one I trust to do this.” 
25. “I thought you were dead.” 
26. “This isn’t just about you. It’s about what’s best for all of us.” 
27. “I love you, you asshole.” 
28. “You did this for me?”
29. “You can’t protect me.”
30. “You know I wouldn’t do this if I had any other choice.”
31. “Promise me you’ll look after your mom.”  
32. “I’m so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend.” 
33. “Stop talking about the past, I could be dead in a matter of hours… make me up a future.”
34. “The way you flirt is shameful.”
35. “I waited and waited, but you never came back.” 
36. “You never told me you had a fucking twin.”
37. “I want to go back to before….”
38. “I just wanted an easy day with my girlfriend/boyfriend. What’s so wrong with that?”
39. “Go then, leave! See if I care!”
40. “Why are yo up so early?”
41. “Please, take me instead!”
42. “You braided his hair?” 
43. “She’s been missing since Friday and you’re not worried?”
44. “Have you lost your damn mind?!”
45.  “Please don’t argue. You have to leave right now, you aren’t safe here.”
46.  “I’m your daughter.”
47. “I’m not surprised that you murdered him.” 
48. “Is there a special reason, as to why you’re wearing my shirt?” 
49. “Am I supposed to be scared of you?”
50. “Don’t use me as an example. I wasn’t a good kid.”

TalesFromRetail: YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR F***ING MOUTH!!!

LTL/ FTP

Just a short one from my days working in retail. For context I was a teenager, really skinny, no worldly experience and tried to see the good in everyone. Retail cured me of that in the first 2 months.

The story goes:

I was working on the register for a large toy chain that is pretty gobal, but this was one of the smaller stores and never had many staff. As I have said I was a teenager and not use to confrontation.

I had a long line of customers and because we were understaffed I was the only one able to serve. So there I am, trying to get through everyone as quickly and efficiently as possible, going through the whole script with each person. “Have you found everything you need today?”, “Do you have our loyalty card?”, “Would you like a bag?” all that good stuff.

The customers are generally polite, understanding that I was just doing my job and moved along without too much trouble until… Enter Mr. No Neck and his awful family. I saw them coming from down the line and I knew that this wasn’t going to be the most charismatic of gentlemen but I tried to reserve judgement. I shall be (ME) and Mr. No Neck, so named because of his terrifyingly over muscled body that gave him the appearance of going from shaved boiled egg-type head to sun bed tanned shoulders seamlessly, will be (NN)

(ME) Hi there! Did you find everything you needed today?

(NN) to his child Fucks sake, put your fucking things up there!

(ME) Would you like a bag today?

(NN) Yes, what else am I going to do? Carry it?!

I scan his items through and bag them up all the while watching this kid pull out the sweet display opposite my till. He’s picking stuff up and dropping it on the floor like it’s some kind of game. Then I see him shove a load of lolly pops into his pockets, grinning to himself like the little demon he was.

At this point I really don’t want to say anything but I go ahead and say:

(ME) There we are, sir, you total is £xx.xx would you mind paying for the sweets your little one has just put in his pockets?

(NN) YOU FUCKING WHAT?!

(ME) heart pounding already because this is a big guy, I’m all alone on this side of the store and I’m really not used to confrontation Umm, he’s just put some sweets in his pockets….you need to…pay……

(NN) ARE YOU FUCKING CALLING ME A THIEF? ID THAT WHAT YOU’RE FUCKING SAYING?! YOU NEED TO WATCH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!

(ME) ummm…..

NN throws a £20 note at me, his total was less than £20 but not by much.

(NN) DID YOU EVEN SEE HIM DO ANYTHING? YOU JUST WANT ME TO FUCKING SEARCH HIM? YOU’RE A NASTY LITTLE BITCH.

He grabs his bag and his kid and keeps giving me abuse as he walks out of the door. I stood there, I’m embarrassed to say, shaking in my little boots and nearly burst into tears. I wish, having gone through several years of retail that I had stood up to him as I sure as hell would have done even 1 year down the line but, yeah, hindsight is 20/20

By: Yerfsmaddaw