mind twisted

anonymous asked:

Jim has to pretend to be an escort while Spock loses him mind over it

PLOT TWIST jim was an escort. it was easy money, and you know, he’s not going to let someone ELSE have to do this job, he’s the captain. 

nyota frowns at him while he rubs chapstick on his lips. “you’re allergic to mint”

“makes my lips look so puffy and kissable”

“your lips get any puffier and we’ll be able to fly into space on them,” she mutters, and doesn’t say anything about the very vulcan temper tantrum spock is studiously not throwing out in the hall. 

“it’s not like he’s got a right to be mad. who else was gonna go? him? please spock can’t hook, spock’s idea of diplomacy always ends in tears, sometimes broken bones, sometimes just like, a metric shitton of blood.”

nyota can’t argue. spock is an amazing diplomat, or rather, he can be, when jim kirk isn’t involved. but any time jim is on the line in any way spock becomes some kind of cold nightmare and jim is the only one who seems untouched by the chill. jim laughs and it’s nothing, it’s nothing, and nyota is relieved she got out while the going was good. 

“you don’t actually have to fuck this guy,” she says. “that’s not within mission parameters.” 

“i know,” jim says, in the same way he tells mccoy he doesn’t think his cough is allergy-related and the way he tells spock that he’s not hurt.  

she scowls. 

xo-endlessmayhem-xo  asked:

9 where Sean, Quinn or whoever talks to Jake about his feelings for MC?

Hi, @xo-endlessmayhem-xo! Thanks for the prompt. Sooo…I wrote this whole thing and then realized I misunderstood the prompt a bit. I hope you don’t mind if I twisted it just a little bit and I hope you enjoy this!

This is set before last week’s chapter and can be considered AU after Book 2, Chapter 2.

9 - “You’re in love with her.”

Originally posted by ilmondodivenneverde

Turns out Captain America is a lightweight. For such a big guy, he doesn’t last long once the whiskey starts flowing. Before they left the Celestial, Jake had been sure to pack as many of the minibar whiskeys he could find. Portability is key when you head off on a suicide mission, he’d joked to Lanie as she’d rolled her eyes at him. Lanie.

Jake sits side by side with the quarterback, both of them staring into the thick foliage of the jungle. The dangers within are hidden by the inky night. A small campfire crackles nearby, but the warm glow it casts can’t cut through the cold night air though or the sick numb feeling Jake has had since it happened. The rest of their motley crew are sleeping behind them, closer to the water, away from the jungle. Technically, he and Sean are on watch, but after the day they’ve had, Jake doesn’t think anyone will blame them for drowning their sorrows for a while.

It had all started out well. They had a plan - a damn good plan. The Little Rascals had even managed to follow it, more or less. They had grabbed Diego and were on their way out. And that’s when it all went FUBAR.

Jake closes his eyes remembering the scream that split the air behind him. It haunts him even now. He knows he’ll never forget the way his heart stopped in that moment.

He’d turned just in time to see the Blue Man Group grab Lanie and Rourke. She was struggling, kicking and twisting in the arms of the tall Watcher. He can still hear her yelling at them, “Just go! Just run!”

Of course, he hadn’t listened. He’d rushed toward her because he’d seen the look in her eyes. She was completely terrified. Rourke meanwhile had looked entirely too happy to be captured. That fact alone had made a fissure of fear race through Jake. If this is what Rourke wanted, it was bad news.

“Please, Jake, just go! Save the others!” she’d shouted, begging him to leave her behind. He wouldn’t, he couldn’t do that and he was about to start running after her when Cap grabbed his arm and pulled him away. He’d tried to throw Sean off of him, but the football player’s grip was too strong.

Tactically, it was right move. In fact, it was their only move in that moment. Grace had been injured forcing Aleister to carry her. It was a good thing Malfoy was stronger than he looked. Craig took an arrow to the leg and the big man had stumbled to his knees until Estela and Raj grabbed him, half dragging/half carrying him as they retreated. So yeah, running away was the right move, but knowing that did nothing to stop Jake from experiencing the same sickening feeling of fear and loss he’d had when Mike’s plane went down. Jake swigs another mini bottle of whiskey and flinches at the cheap alcohol’s burn.

Diego hadn’t said much since they got to the beach and no one had pushed him. There was a haunted look in Petey’s eyes that made everyone hesitant to ask him about the six months he’d spent with the Watchers. But Jake knows soon enough he’s going to have to ask the kid what had happened to him and how they can get Lanie back.

This beach wasn’t a great choice for camp, but it was better than any other options they had. Unless the Blues had some sort of as-yet-undiscovered gills, and honestly Jake wouldn’t put it past them at this point, they only had to watch one side of their little encampment. Michelle had patched up the wounded and it turns out Lila was some sort of super girl scout. She found some edible plants and had actually caught some fish. After eating in silence, the others had fallen into exhausted sleep leaving him and Sean alone with their thoughts.

The fact that the Watchers hadn’t come after them means they’ve got what they want and that scares Jake more than anything that’s happened since they got here.

Tossing his empty bottle aside and grabbing a new one, Jake glances over at Sean and can see his eyes are rimmed in red. He’s not crying, but Jake can tell the big man wants to. He can’t blame the guy; he wants to do the same. Instead, he cracks open the bottle and takes a long swallow. 

“Jake,” Sean’s voice, slurring slightly, breaks into his thoughts. “Have you ever been in love?”

Fuck, Jake thinks. Here’s a conversation he really doesn’t want to have.

“That’s a deep question, Cap. Why ya asking?”

“Maybe all we have time left for is the deep stuff. Just wondering.” Sean says, eyes downcast.

Jake sighs and hesitates before answering.

“Yeah, once,” he finally answers curtly. The kid may want to talk, but he doesn’t exactly feel like spilling his guts.

“I…I think I’m in love,” Sean whispers.

Jake’s stomach drops. Please, God, let it be Maybelline, he prays to whatever deity may be listening.

“Yeah. I heard you and Michelle were a thing.”

“What? Oh, no,” Sean says, blinking owlishly at Jake, “I mean I care about Michelle. I probably always will, but I’m talking about someone else.”

Jake’s heart sinks. Of course, you are, he thinks bitterly.

“It’s Lanie, right? You’re in love with her?” Jake croaks out before throwing back the rest of his whiskey. He already knows the answer.

“Yeah, it’s Lanie,” Sean admits, “but that’s insane, right? I mean, I’ve known her for two weeks! Can you fall in love with someone that fast? Is that even possible?”

Yeah, it’s possible, Jake thinks. I did.

He doesn’t answer Sean’s question. Now’s not the time to get into this. The only thing that matters right now is rescuing Lanie.

“We’ll get her back, Cap,” he finally says.

“Yeah?” Sean asks, tears glistening in his eyes.

“Yeah. I promise. I won’t stop until we get her back.”

We have Sherlolly, Khanolly, and what do you call Strange/Molly? Strolly? Anyway, I think we can all agree that Molly is good for whichever BC character people want to ship her with. 

With that thought in mind, what about Richard III? Yeah, at first glance, it seems odd but hear me out. In Henry VI pt 3 (part 2 in The Hollow Crown), Richard talks about how if he had love, he wouldn’t go after the crown. He’s convinced his physical deformity is what is keeping him from love (he doesn’t even consider that it could be his dark and twisted mind). This could be an interesting Beauty and the Beast kind of story.

A physically deformed homicidal maniac. Yeah, getting a Phantom of the Opera vibe from this too.

So, any takers? I’d do it but I’ve already got so much on my plate.

10 WAYS TO HELP AUTISTIC PEOPLE [BY AN AUTISTIC PERSON]:
  1. Be aware of your surroundings. Bright lights and too much noise are hell for autistic people. Is there anywhere quiet or dim that you could take them to if they got stressed? Is there a way to lessen the noise and/or brightness?
  2. Don’t tell us to “stop acting weird”. Chewing on things, flapping our hands, rocking on our feet, and so on are all natural, healthy behaviours that help us to process emotion and sensory input. Telling us not to do them is akin to telling an allistic (non-autistic) person to stop smiling.
  3. Most autistic people are happy as we are. Some would rather not be autistic, it’s true, but most of us just want to be ourselves without shame or stigma. It’s generally bad manners to talk to us about a “cure” or “treatments” for who we are.
  4. Non-verbal communication – vocal sounds, text or written communication, sign language, etc – are all valid forms of communication which we sometimes have to use. (Or always have to use, in some cases.) Sometimes, we have to text the person sitting next to us because we can’t talk. Please don’t try to make us use our voices when we’d rather not!
  5. Research autistic groups before supporting them. What do actual autistic people say about this group? We like self-advocacy groups, we don’t like allistic people trying to talk for us. Not every group that claims to help autistic people is actually our friend!
  6. Special interests – things which autistic people fixate on and obsess over – are healthy and important. Don’t make fun of us for getting really into things, even if they’re “childish” things like Minecraft or Pokémon. It’s incredibly hurtful when someone we like just dismisses our interests without a second thought.
  7. When an autistic person is having a meltdown or shutdown, listen to them! Don’t fuss over them or get up in their face. Just listen to what they want you to do to help them, if anything. Let them write or text it, if they have to, and keep your voice down!
  8. We don’t process the world the same way you do. Sometimes things which seem obvious to you require explanation before we’ll understand them. Sometimes an explanation you understand will be one that makes no sense to us. Please be patient. We’re not being difficult on purpose! We want to understand, we really do.
  9. Be understanding when we say we can’t do something. Our energy gets used up a lot quicker than yours. Often we’d really like to do something, but we just can’t, and it can be difficult for us to explain that. Don’t guilt trip us for not going out or whatever – we already feel really bad about it!
  10. Listen to our boundaries. If we don’t want to be touched, don’t touch us. If we want you to leave our possessions alone, leave them alone. If we aren’t up to talking, don’t try to make us talk. We need boundaries a lot more than you do, so please try to respect them. It’s common courtesy!

[I originally posted this on Facebook, but I decided to post it here, too.]

I feel like Yuri skating to “Welcome to the Madness” is his version of having a Tumblr blog with the title “welcome to my twisted mind”

I’ve been trying to concentrate
But my mind keeps twisting
I feel so uninspired and empty
I can’t connect
Words, thoughts, creativity, life, death
—  t.m.

why do people still think the “i look cute and innocent.. but i have a twisted dirty mind xD o_0″ thing is like. edgy or surprising at all. 

like no offense but when you see some grown adult playing up how sweet and cute and innocent pastel baby uwu they are, you can pretty much instantly tell that theyre probably kind of a pervert in really unpleasant ways. and its not “shocking” or even slightly surprising its just kind of….. gross and insufferable