mind the ratchet

  • Grimroth: Could you-
  • Ratchet, attempting to staple a moth to the wall with a staple gun: *thunk*
  • Grimroth: Could you pass-
  • Ratchet, attempting to staple a moth to the wall with a staple gun: *thunk*
  • Grimroth: Pass the-
  • Ratchet, attempting to staple a moth to the wall with a staple gun: *thunk* *thunk*
  • Grimroth: *sigh*
  • Ratchet, attempting to staple a moth to the wall with a staple gun: *thunk*
  • Grimroth: Ratchet, could you pass me the-
  • Ratchet, attempting to staple a moth to the wall with a staple gun: *thunk* *thunk*
  • Grimroth: ...
  • Ratchet, attempting to staple a moth to the wall with a staple gun: *thunk* *thunk* *thunk* Gonna get you, you fluttery fuck.
  • Grimroth: Ratchet?
  • Ratchet, attempting to staple a moth to the wall with a staple gun: *thunk* Sorry Grim, whassat?
  • Grimroth: Never mind, found it.

I CAN EXPLAIN!

First of all, you folks have been seeing my recent art. This train’s not stopping for a while.
Secondly! This particular piece was inspired by a tag from a reblog on one of my other works. So this one can be blamed (in a positive manner) on @fallenlombax. I saw the tag last night, and I just started drawing. I think it was after midnight when I finally decided I couldn’t actually get it done last night. I finished the coloring this morning, and here you see the result. I had fun! please don’t kill me i was just inspired and i couldn’t stop my hands
(Also please ignore the hands. They’re horrible, and I need more practice.)

anonymous asked:

We know that bots can feel everything in their holoforms as if those were their real bodies. How about human Reader introducing MTMTE Ratchet, Rodimus, Chromedome & Rewind to full body massage?

I’ve had one of those weird mall massages once… It was amaze, if a little uncomfortable.
I wasn’t sure you wanted Poly Chromedome/Rewind, but I did them seperate because you usually don’t pay attention to other people in the room when you’re getting a massage anyway and the therapist/masseuse isn’t supposed to pay them any mind.

{MTMTE}


Ratchet

He’s skeptical as you get him to lay down on the table, it immediately reminds him of a berth and he idly wonders if this is how you feel when you lay with him. He lets the thought die as you pull the towel over his bare end a little lower, immediately cutting his eyes back to look at you.

”It was too high, Ratch. Calm down I’m not trying to peak at your ass…” You say, rolling your eyes. He huffs and settles himself back down, you had already explained what you were doing and how it was done, he was just dubious of the whole situation.

However, when your hands started kneading into the muscles and strains of his shoulders all thought was out the window with a groan. He could get used to this. Maybe he should ask you to massage the cables under his armor. He let out another groan as your hands moved from shoulders down his back, along his spine, and his hips. He was so concentrated on the feeling of being so relaxed he barely noticed that you had to grope his ass. He jumped a bit when your hand started high up on his leg; as with everything else, however, it dissolved into oblivion.

He was definitely going to get you to do this again.

Rodimus

”Oh man that sounds great!” He practically shouts after you explain to him what the difference between a human and bot massage was. “Let’s frikkin do it!” Are the next words as he flops himself across your table, completely naked with no towel. He hardly has the shame to care if you see him.

”You could pretend you know what decency is.” You laugh as you place the towel over his bottom.

He was about to say something when your hands went to his shoulders and began to push into his strain and he disappeared in the feeling, sinking into the pleasure. He moaned as he relaxed, like a puddle, into the table under him. This had been an absolutely fantastic idea. As your hands smoothed over his shoulders, lackadaisical circles into his tight muscles. His thoughts have come to an instantaneous halt, nothing but the feeling of your hands moving on his senses. He welcomes the feeling of his muscles slowly unwinding and coming loose. Your hands find their way, slowly, down his spine, his hips, arms, and then back down.

When your hands are on his bottom he looks back at you with a smirk and winks. Once your hand smacks down on his ass he squeaks and jumps, looking straight again. Vaguely you think he’s called you an aft. You’re too busy smirking and continuing on your way down his legs. 

This is the kind of attention he could get use to.

Chromedome

He’s not sure about all this, he’s asked a lot of questions and opted to keep his underwear on. He’s come to understand it’s the same function as an interface panel and therefore isn’t completely comfortable taking it off for recreational purposes such as a massage, as he’s come to understand. It wasn’t exactly worth the argument to tell him otherwise, especially since this was all about his comfort.

”I know it doesn’t hurt-” You cut him off gently, “I didn’t say that. It can hurt… You just communicate with me that it does so I can adjust. The important part is that you’re comfortable, Chromey.” He looked a bit apprehensive at your words, but finally lays down on table and mutters something you don’t quite catch. He might have commented on the coolness of the table.

He relaxes as best he can, which is easy enough. He trusts you and knows you’ll listen if he says it hurts or to not rub in a specific area. You slowly run your hands down his back, gauging where he is comfortable being touched and where you might need to stray away from, this ultimately includes staying clear of his butt. You had figured. 

As you moved your hands back up gentle pressure before you’re gently pressing your hands into his shoulders and down his arms, traveling down his back and then back up. You’re listening carefully, because if he speaks his discomfort you have to hear it. However the last thing on his mind is any pain you might accidentally cause him as you glide your hands down his skin. He’s vaguely thinking about how soft your hands in, lost in the feeling of muscles slowly unwinding and relaxing.

He’d probably give up injections for this. Maybe.

RewindHe’s much more accepting than Chromedome, willing to lay right down on the table. Though he does opt to keep his underwear on as well, for similar reasons as Chromedome. He had done his own research as well as listened to you talk about it so he’s confident in your ability to make him feel relaxed and comfortable. As he lays on the table he giggles, “The table’s kinda cold.” He says as he looks back at you, towel wrapped around his bottom. You smile and shake your head as you push him gently back down and make sure he’s relaxed and comfortable.He groans lightly as your hands begin with his arms and travel to his shoulders. You pay quite a bit of attention to his shoulders and mid-back, he’s very tense. You choose not to comment on it, it’s hardly important. You move your hands down further and spend a little extra time on his hips, not because they’re particularly tense, but due to the fact that he seemed to really enjoy it, humming lightly, eyes closed. He’s really enjoying himself, the feeling of the gentle pressure of your hands on his muscles and even the feeling of your presence. You don’t have to skip over his butt, he doesn’t mind you groping at it like that, he knows why and he’s far to concerned with how the tension is just melted away. He doesn’t like you being to far up on his legs, it’s both uncomfortable and tickles so he laughs and twitches too much for you to do it properly anyway. He’s asleep by the time you start making your way back up with the intention of having him flip over.Oh well, you can finish up when he wakes back up. He’s too cute to wake up.

I wanted to do this one for a long time, because you can’t tell me Lilo wouldn’t be totally psyched to meet Ratchet and Clank~


Lilo: My dog is an alien too, so then are you an alien cat?

Ratchet: Cat?! No no no, I’m a lombax.

Lilo: Will you promise not to fight with Stitch?

Ratchet: I uh- *looks over at Stitch, who is busy trying to figure out how Clank just pulled an infobot from his chest compartment.*

Clank: Do you mind?

Ratchet: Heh, it’s a promise.

“LIKE A THIEF IN THE NIGHT, I’LL TAKE ANYTHING BUT SOME PUSSY”

As trash, as ratchet, as “bad for the culture” as everyone says Young Thug is, it is the epitome of irony that the only anti-rape lyric I’ve ever heard was heard on a Young Thug track. Not a Kendrick track, not a J.Cole track, not Wale, not Lupe, not your favorite conscious rapper. Just like suits, ties, and soul-sample beats don’t determine your social awareness, neither do face tattoos and blonde dreads. In an era where black women are routinely being raped and brutalized with impunity, keep in mind the ratchet artists that speak on it while our “kings of consciousness” are silent.

…. plus the song bumps too