WANTED: Under thirty and profound. Amazed by sunflowers. Able to keep houseplants alive. Aware of, but not paralyzed by, the mystery and sometimes meaningless of life. Aware of, but not overly-convinced of, the miracle of humanness. Fond of the feeling of fingers grazing over one’s shoulders. Un-annoyed by the sound of fingers drumming wooden surfaces. Nostalgic of certain college courses but not really the college campus experience as a whole, if applicable. Not nostalgic of high school, but somewhat nostalgic of that sixteen-seventeen peak of youthful exuberance and angst. Kind. Willing to participate in hours of binge television show watching, at least once a month. Unafraid of being pursued by the FBI for streaming movies online. Natural sense of loyalty that’s slightly less than a dog’s but much more than a cat’s. Taste for all things mint-flavored. Almost eclectic. Maybe completely eclectic. Maybe even a little mundane. But absolutely must smile. Must laugh, even if it comes out as a muffled whisper. Laughter mustn’t groan, unless the joke entirely warrants it. Gentle. Mostly kind and gentle. Able to cope with long periods of silence and solitude. Not outrageously long, but substantial. Honest. Willing to step into a space of vulnerability. Even if skeptical, or afraid. Willing to try. But not too soon. Wise. But mostly kind. Kind and gentle. Hopeful. Firm. Doesn’t mind chipped nail polish, or chewed up nails. Or stray hairs. Or leg hair. Owns and shares warm sweaters. Interested in the prospect of children. Finds candlelight romantic. Creative. Goes to plays and such. But mostly — I mean really, most importantly — I mean knock the all of the other bits if these ones don’t apply — kind and gentle.