tbh i’ve realized that everything is basically jus mind over matter. like u know how when ur stomach starts hurting and sometimes u’ll try thinking of it not hurting just cause ur curious and it’ll instantly stop? same thing with everything else. if u want to give up because u feel its not going to get better, change. your. mindset. if u’ve been laying in bed for days bc someone hurt u and ur blaming urself, change ur mindset. nothing will get better if u continue to think of/focus on the things hurting you. mind over matter. u’ll be okay.
Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. Psychiatrist Dr. Susan Vaughan has argued that the talking cure works by ‘talking to neurons,’ and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a 'microsurgeon of the mind’ who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.
“ Yes, the mind is a powerful thing. It holds all information and data that you have ever been through in your existence. How you choose to perceive the reality around you, is totally up you. If you stay close minded, then you will only see negative, and that turns into unhappiness. If you open the mind and see from many perspectives, you will find wisdom, and in wisdom comes the tools to make life right, and make better decisions. That is what leads to happiness.”- Alura Cein
This idea has been rattling around in my brain the last couple days and I needed to get it out. A future part of Mind Over Matter, a canon-divergent AU.
happened so fast. Too fast for him to react. Too fast for him to stop
it before it was too late.
had been so confident.
barriers are solid.”
had been so persistent.
you want to try this, we’re doing it.”
should have known better.
Chakwas!” He couldn’t stop the panic from flooding his voice.
green eyes scanned him, took in the sight of Shepard cradled against
his chest, limp and heavy in his arms.
her down there.” Decades of experience kept the doctor calm, but
Kaidan could see the question in her eyes.
set her down slowly, reluctant to let her go, sure that if he did he
would only hurt her more somehow. An emptiness settled in his chest,
cold from the loss of contact, tight with fear.
were training,” an explanation tumbled from his lips, his voice
shaky “she – I wanted to try…”
omni-tool scanned over her.
couldn’t tear his eyes from Shepard; a tranquil expression befell her
porcelain features, as if she were simply sleeping. As if he hadn’t
done this to her.
if just moments ago she hadn’t been cloaked in swirling tendrils of
violet, doubled over as the vortex of energy attacked her nervous
system. As if the attack hadn’t immobilized her, forcing her upright
and rigid, trapped and helpless as his biotics continued to leech her
energy. As if she hadn’t collapsed to the floor in a heap,
unconscious yet spasming in pain. As if he hadn’t had to gather her
from the ground, scoop her up in his arms and carry her to the med
was your doing?”
he were able to look away from Shepard, he would have hung his head
was helping me learn to reave.”
response. For what felt like ages, the silence stretched on.
was frozen; he couldn’t move. He wouldn’t. Chakwas worked around him,
injecting medi-gel, scanning Shepard, injecting more medi-gel,
is going to be fine, Lieutenant Alenko.”
cringed at the formality, akin to his mother using his middle name.
I suspect an apology will be in order. I’ll leave you to it.”
bay doors hissed shut behind the doctor.
found a stool behind him, pulled it alongside the cot where Shepard
lay. His hands enveloped one of hers.
was cool to the touch, clammy. The usual rosy tint to her cheeks had
vanished. Beads of sweat appeared like dew across her brow. Rogue
strands of hair clung to her forehead.
eyes fell shut and he dropped his head.
could I be so careless?
twitch of a fingertip in his hand alerted him. Kaidan’s eyes sprung
open in time to watch Shepard’s eyelids flutter, then slowly, sopainstakingly slowly, they opened.
Her name was a whisper on his lips. His hands squeezed hers.
head rolled to the side, a small, lazy smile pulled at the corners of
her lips. “Hey, Kaidan.”
felt her hand tighten around his own. Her grip was weak, but it was
you figured out how to reave, huh?”
smile barely reached her eyes before her lids fell heavily over the
pools of forest green.
wasn’t until that moment that Kaidan realized he had been holding his
I’m so sorry. I never – ”
other hand raised in the air. “Don’t.”
eyes opened again, clearer, brighter than before. The color was
returning to her face.
breathed a sigh of relief, removed his hand from atop hers and
brought it to her face. Slowly, delicately, he brushed the
sweat-slicked strands of hair from her forehead. He brushed his hand
through long copper locks. He stroked her cheek with his thumb.
caught his hand in hers, brought it to her lips, placed a kiss to the
back of his hand and held it tight against her chest.
spoke quietly, “I never want to do that again. What I did to
you…I won’t. I am sorry, Addyson.”
I’m fine.” Her fingers wrapped tighter around his palm. “You just
gleamed in her eyes. The same almost feline ferocity he had come to
know as commonplace had returned. And something else, something new.
you know how damn impressive that is?” Again she pressed her lips
to the back of his hand, lingering. “You don’t have to use it on me
again, but the day will come that you’ll want to use it on someone
shifted in his seat. Images of Shepard afflicted by the attack
churned his stomach. Feeling the energy leave her body to feed his
made his skin crawl. But she was right; an annoying habit of hers.
wished he wouldn’t have to. He wished they didn’t have to prepare for
a war like this. He wished he hadn’t asked her to help him, that he
hadn’t hurt her.
captured her hand and copied her actions, bringing her hand to his
lips. His lips pressed against the back of her hand, his eyes closing
wished he could keep her safe. He wished he could promise her a happy
he knew the odds of a happy ending for either of them were slim. He
suspected she did too.